A Champion's Summer
by Chatting Airborne
Summary: Following the death of his parents, Roxas Highwind floated through life invisible under the shadow of brothers he never understood. But after a fateful encounter with Sora, star striker of the varsity football team, an incriminating search history, and a mysterious video upload, his life changes forever, teaching him the true meaning of love. [Warnings Inside]
1. Judgment of Anubis

**Warnings: This story contains language, yaoi, and violence**

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 ** _One: Judgement of Anubis_**

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"Yo, you got Judgement of Anubis?"

"I've got Aegis of Gaia, coming in hot like a rocket."

"Dawg, get me some of that continuous trap."

"Obelisk the tormentor."

"Mother trucker, dude."

Three boys hunched in the back of a twilight lit alley with a whorl of cards and a pack of cigarettes between them. They used their first cigarette to light a second, looking over their shoulder before passing around each like pagan offerings, eyes rolling into the back of their heads as they took heavy puffs. As a chunky boy with a massive dog street t shirt, blue and white timbaland boots, and a sweat band guarding a burst of black spikes for hair took a particularly long slug, he coughed and winced, massaging his throat as he passed the fag to the side.

"Freaking frick, dude, I think I can feel it," he whispered, eyes glazing as he stared at his hand. "I'm like totally high right now, bros."

"Nah, you're thinking of magic dragon, dude," drawled a boy with peroxide blond, violently damaged hair glued into knife sharp, curling spikes. "Tobacco's got nothing on it."

"This was totally spiked," the black haired teen insisted. "I'm totally feeling something, dawg."

"Give it," snapped the third teen, a scrawny boy with a muddy tan and dirty blond bedhead. One side of his scalp was so flat you could see a circle of soft pale skin at the center. The other side poked this way and that, greasy and thick. He adjusted his coke bottle glasses with his middle finger as the peroxide blond hacked up a lung and brought out an inhaler from his pocket. As he topped up, the black haired teen scratched at a patch of eczema beneath his chin and glanced over the cards again.

"As cruddy as this sounds, dawgs, I don't think I'm gonna trade," he said. The two blonds groaned and scowled in displeasure.

"If you're not trading, then I'm not, either."

"Y'all are some real truck nuggets, guys," barked the blond with the glasses, shoving them up his nose again when they slumped to the tip. The constant burst of blush gracing his tan, freckled cheeks crept down the sides of his neck, the usual when he became angry. His peroxide blond companion scoffed at his side, cracking the hardening gel in his hair as he tried scratching it.

"Yo, dude, calm the frick down," he sighed. "We'll reconvene tomorrow. Pass me that sweet stick, man."

The dirty blond passed the cigarette and watched as the peroxide blond sucked it and coughed again. Suddenly, a window slammed above them. Feverishly, the three stamped out the cigarette and jammed their hands in their pockets. A woman leaned from the window above, coughing and sniffing. When she smelled smoke, she whipped her gaze down, met the quarter empty pack of cigarettes on the street side, and shrieked.

"Have y'all three been smoking?" she squawked.

"Mother trucker..." said the peroxide blond, digging one camouflage colored, crock clad foot into the alley pavement. The window slammed shut and the sound of footsteps on creaking stairs echoed through the alley's walls. A door fired open. The trio turned. The peroxide blond's mother stood with a fowl glance and hands on her generous hips. She still wore her combat boots, even though she had a pair of pajama shorts and a stained white t shirt on top. Her normally curled brown hair was thrown up in a messy bun. To the peroxide blond's friends' delight, she still went bra free.

"Hayner Allen Cowden," she growled as she crossed her arms under her rather large breasts. "What the heck are you doing smoking those cigarettes when you can't even breath human on a daily basis?"

"Hello Ms. Beatrix," said the black haired teen politely. Hayner's mother ignored him.

"I wasn't smoking, mama!" Hayner insisted in a bold faced lie. His mother stomped behind him, whacked him over the head, and pulled him by the ear. Hayner's voice cracked with a cry as he descended into "aw, mom," "c'mon," "I _swear_ I WASN'T!" "leave me alone!" and "I'm sorry, don't ground me."

"Roxas, Pence, y'all's families will be receiving calls," Beatrix snapped. Before she could drag Hayner in, he evaded her and scrambled up his cards. When she slapped him again and told him to hand them over, he began crying.

"Don't burn 'em!" he screamed, mewling through the street. Beatrix rolled her eyes and snapped that she was just going to keep them till he figured out how to behave like a sentient human being.

"Y'all know cigarettes are a gateway drug," she spat. Then, she and Hayner disappeared, his broken cries still railing through the bowels of his apartment after his mother shut and locked their door. Roxas and Pence stared at the closed portal for several minutes, shuffling from side to side in an effort to figure out what they would do next.

"Clock tower?" Roxas, the dirty blond with the coke bottle glasses, asked. Pence fidgeted and bit his lip.

"I don't know, dawg, I feel like I should go home," he said. "There's interest on punishments the longer I escape them. If Beatrix calls right now, I should go home as soon as possible."

"Mother trucker," the dirty blond cursed, collecting his cards and cigarettes and shoving them in his pockets. "They weren't even that good."

"You thought so, too?" Pence, the ravenet, beamed. "I was just joking cause I thought you guys dug it."

"Nah, my 'pa likes 'em," Roxas explained. "He looks pretty cool when he's puffing, and he's puffing all the time."

"Maybe he's just a cool guy," Pence shot back. Roxas acquiesced that he was pretty cool. He walked Pence to the tram stop at the end of the street before saying goodbye. Then he went across the road to the convenience store with the big, neon "Item Shop" sign overhead. When he slipped in, the bell tinkled and he called hello to the shop owner's young son Wantz. Then he shuffled around for the fridges, pulling one of the sliding doors open and digging in for the sea salt ice cream. When the shop door tinkled again and a group of familiar voices rose and thundered like a tsunami over the welcome mat, Roxas nearly shit himself.

The entirety of the Twilight High varsity football team- male and female divisions, trudged inside the store's small confines like the pompous, vicious jerks that they were, scanning the aisles for victims as they snatched up chips, water bottles, and candy bags and hurried them to the front counter. Roxas stared forward like a bug under a microscope in his coke bottle glasses, sweat dripping down the sides of his jaw as the blush on his cheeks crept all the way to his chest. When a girl named Rikku flipped her long blonde hair back and met eyes with Roxas, he gasped, swiveled around, barreled out the emergency exit at the store's rear, and lunged for the bathroom. When he was safely inside, he locked the door, crept into the corner, and prayed for release. To his dismay, the emergency exit burst open and a gaggle of male voices sailed towards him. When they approached the bathroom door, a big, booming fist plunged against it, making him stifle a cry and pee a little. Cursing himself, he sniffed back a sob and decided to pee for real, just in case they scared him again. With jittering fingers he undid his pants and sprinted to the urinal. Just after he zipped up and began washing his hands, the fist boomed against the door again. Its owner whispered and snickered. Then, a clear, even voice peeled in.

"Yo, fuckwad, quit shitting and give everyone else a chance to take a piss," Riku Shima, defensive midfielder, boomed. More laughter erupted around him. By the sounds of it, a few girls had joined in. Roxas cursed again, wiping his hands along his cargo shorts in savage swipes. Guys always got twice as vicious when they had something to prove.

"How long does it take you guys to poop?" whispered a voice Roxas was sure belonged to Riku's best friend, Kairi.

"Too fucking long," drawled Riku's girlfriend Xion. More laughter.

If there had been a paper or plastic bag in the bathroom, Roxas would have begun hyperventilating into it. When he banged his palm to his forehead in an effort to get his brain working, he gasped and glanced up. There was a small window emptying onto a balcony just above the toilet. Roxas scrambled towards it, causing the toilet lid to grind to the side as he lifted off of it.

"What in the fuck is he doing?" asked Xion.

Roxas got hold of the window sill, craned his head through it, thought better of it, and attempted turning himself around, nearly slipping and falling face first into the toilet basin. The booming on the bathroom door became antagonistic.

"Hey, shit bag, hurry the fuck up!" Riku snarled.

"Riku, let me try," called another voice. Now Roxas slipped for real. He yelped as he caught his feet around the window sides and hung limply down the wall.

"What the fuck are you doing, man, masturbating?" asked the football team's star striker, Sora Nomura. Roxas shook as he imagined the boy barreling in on him, honey soft skin blazing, icy blue eyes twinkling with malice. He nearly bounded through the window face first, ignoring how painful it would be if he slipped off the balcony and onto hard concrete. As he shimmied his head, shoulders, and hips out of the window, he heard voices discussing if they should go find the store owner to see if he could unlock the toilet. Someone suggested climbing through the window out back. Roxas held back a cry of terror, biting his tongue as he shimmied past his thighs and hung like a wet rag down the building's side. He could almost touch the balcony below, feel its clay colored tiles extending beneath his fingers. He'd just have to do a sort of cartwheel when he came down. He'd never done a cartwheel. Just as he was steeling himself, voices rose around the building side and his glasses flew off his nose.

"Mother trucker," he groaned, edging himself out of the window completely so that he was doing a handstand against the balcony wall. Slipping his right foot to the side, he cartwheeled along the siding and landed on his feet. Then, with a chuffed sigh, he slipped on his glasses, scrambled along the sort of bridge connecting the balcony to a street side nearby, and scrambled at breakneck speed down the road before anyone could catch him. He had always been a fast and slippery kid, edging himself out of countless sticky situations. This was no different. He charged towards Station Heights and its adjoining train station with fire under his heels, smile faltering only when he heard the sound of running behind him. In terror he charged up Market Street, up Station Heights, and across the patio, wailing and wincing into the oppressive setting sun as if he were finishing a marathon. When he looked behind him, two boys and one girl were tailing him. One silveret. One ravenette. One blond.

He shrieked and charged faster, avoiding a dip in the cobblestone that would have destroyed him for good. He tore around the building side just as the football troupe skidded into the middle of the patio mosaic. By the time more came and peeked around the building side together, Roxas had jigged the lock to the iron gate hammered in front of the maintenance door to the clocktower and fired halfway up its stairs. Just as he began to relax, a pillar of light sliced through the hall at the clocktower staircase's base, and three heads: silver, black, and red, bobbed through.

"Wow, Lea, I thought only us two knew about this place," the ravenette giggled. The scarlet headed boy snickered back, murmuring that it must have been more popular than he thought. The silveret hissed for them to find the kid from the bathroom.

"Maybe we can hang him from the spires," he snickered. "Break his glasses."

"Well, that's a given," a highlighter blond with two wispy bangs called as she entered. The red head slipped his arms around her waist and made out with her then and there. Roxas watched from the shadows of the broken stair in shocked wonder, pursing his lips and fidgeting to get a better look as she began to pull his jersey up his pale, toned back.

"Shh, I think I heard something," Xion whispered, holding up her hand. The rest paused. Riku scoffed.

"I think you're paranoid, Shi," he whispered. Xion scowled, muttering that she thought she'd heard a stair creak.

"We'll get him at school," the red head who must have been called Lea insisted. "Why waste any more time than we already have?"

"Will you even remember what he looks like by the time school starts?" snorted the highlighter blonde. "He was kind of unmemorable. Scrawny, lots of beiges, dirty blond greasy hair..."

"We can ask Sora," responded Xion. "He always remembers a face."

"Did Sora see him?"

"I don't know. Look, if you want to leave, we can leave."

"Yeah, let's go. It was fun while it lasted."

"You hear that, nobody?" roared Riku to the spiral of stairs above. Then he giggled. "Wait, let me just see if he's up there." With that, he scrambled up with Xion close behind. Roxas cowered as their nike clad feet hammered past his own, stopping his breath to make himself more invisible than he already was. Below, Lea and his girlfriend continued making out. Things must have gotten heavy, because they panted and groaned against each other. Roxas peeped down and clapped his hand over his mouth. The entire upper body of the redhead was naked. His shorts were pulled down just below the crown of his ass. The blond squeezed the muscles upwards so that they pressed together against his spine. Roxas shoved his fist in his mouth and huddled in on himself.

"You know he can probably see you right now," the blond whispered. "He's got no view of me, there's nothing behind me."

"Shit. That means if he sticks around and watches, he's a pervert."

"Oh, holy shit, then we'd have a real reason to beat the shit out of him! Guy on guy peeping tom!"

"Gross," Lea said in a girly voice. The blond laughed and muttered that it was kind of hot. Lea giggled with glee.

"Would it make you hot if I gave him a show?"

The blonde screeched with delight and clapped her hands as Lea struck a sultry pose and pulled his pants down completely. They hung around his stocking ankles as he shimmied forward against the blond and began dry humping her. Roxas tried tearing his eyes away, but he couldn't. The way the man's body moved was unbelievable. It was like doing the worm standing up, or dolphin kicking except on land. When Roxas tried mimicking it, the floorboards beneath him cracked and splintered. Lea and his girlfriend snapped up.

"Fuck, I know where he is!" Lea whispered, digging up his pants and creeping back up the stairs. As his girlfriend followed him, Roxas panicked and whipped around, looking for an escape. When he attempted moving up, the battering footsteps of Xion and Riku clambered to meet his other side. As his fingers dug down the wall at his right and met with an old scrap of metal, he got an idea.

"Stop!" called Lea. Xion and Riku paused.

"I know where he is!" the red head hissed. "I got naked and started dry humping Larxene-"

"Gross-"

"And he started moving around to get a look!"

"Oh my god, what a perv!"

"I know, and he's somewhere between us, right now. Just feel around the floor boards."

Roxas screamed internally and beat himself around the head. Then, hoping his aim had improved since he went skeet shooting with his grandad a couple months back, he flung the piece of metal above until it clattered just over Riku's shoulder. When the party glanced up, they gasped.

"Holy shit, he's right up there!"

"Fuck, he must be going up to the roof!"

Like a pack of wolves the four dove up the stairs. Just when they were far enough up, Roxas scrambled down on all fours, sweating bullets and yelping as he slipped down the last flight. As soon as his voice pierced the air, the four whipped around and screeched. Then they were behind him again. Roxas flung through the station tower door and scaled the iron fence surrounding without bothering to check if it was unlocked. Then, lost for what else to do, he tore over the wall protecting the patio from the hillside beneath and began climbing down, coiling from rock to rock like a little mountain goat. When he felt good and hidden, he peered back up and wiped his sweating palms against his cargo shorts. The heads of the four and a gaggle of their friends glanced around in dejection.

"Fuck, what a slippery little guy!" Xion breathed. Riku pecked her cheek and sucked at her neck, drawing a giggle from her.

"I love when you go on the hunt," he crooned.

"Hey!" Kairi's voice called as she approached. "Did you find him?"

"No, he escaped past you guys, though, you should have found him by now."

"Fuck!" Kairi gasped. "He must be behind the station. Anyone want to run after him?"

"Nah, he's not worth it," Xion responded. Lea shrugged beside her.

"I don't know about that," he sighed tragically. "I'm feeling pretty fucking violated right now."

"What? Why?" Kairi asked in concern. Larxene bit her lip to stop from crying in excitement.

"So we go into the clock tower because we know he's there, right?" she explained from Lea's other side. "And as Riku and Xion go up the stairs, me and Lea share a passionate moment. And Lea gets completely naked, right?"

"You guys are so fucking kinky!" Kairi tittered. Larxene stopped her with a delighted hiss. " _Then_..." she continued with a dramatic pause. "We heard creaking and _moaning,_ and I think the kid that we were chasing was _watching_ us and getting off."

"Watching me, specifically," qualified Lea with a budding smile that he shrugged off to don a dejected glower. "Can't believe some perv was watching me kiss my girlfriend, thinking about my body."

"Probably thinking of stuff he wanted to do to it," Xion added gravely.

"He probably would have raped me if I stayed in there any longer," Lea cut in. "Or even asked me to fuck him or something."

"Oh my god, Lea, I'm so sorry," Kairi breathed in horror. "That's like the sickest thing I've ever heard."

"Why don't we make his life hell when we find out who he is?" Xion whispered. "Get Sora on the case."

"Oh, trust me," Riku snarled. "Sora would love to fry that little motherfucker."

"Mother trucker," Roxas echoed under his breath, shoving both fists in his mouth to keep himself from speaking any louder. The gaggle above him sighed.

"Well, this changes things," Kairi said. "Let's split up and look for clues. I bet a million he's around the side of the tracks, maybe even walking along them."

"You think he went to Sunset Station?"

"Who knows. Let's just branch out from that general area and move where the tide takes us."

"Would he have jumped the patio wall or something?"

"Are you kidding, and rolled down the hill to his death?"

Roxas hunkered as a face peered over the ledge of the wall.

"Nope, I'd see him."

"He was wearing a lot of tan and his hair was kind of this ugly blond-"

"No, he had a black and white checkered bracelet, you couldn't miss him."

"Awesome! Any other defining characteristics?"

"Rikku said he had big blue eyes," Kairi chirped. "Same as Sora's."

"He had eczema on his cheeks or acne or something, too, they were really red," Rikku added, appearing at her side. "Serious bed head. Muddy blond. Greasy, too. These circular coke bottle glasses, made his eyes look like bug eyes."

"Nose shape? Any other defining characteristics?"

"I don't know, the hair and glasses and redness kind of covered everything," she lamented.

"Was he, like, how good looking was he?"

"Does he sound good looking? He was all hunched over and scrawny."

"God, he even _looks_ like a perv."

Everyone laughed. Roxas glanced down at his thin arms and legs without expression, shimmying his bracelet from his wrist to his pocket and attempting to smooth down his hair. Soon the voices above moved away. Once he was certain they were gone, he continued down the mountain side until he jumped onto the beginnings of the meadow surrounding Twilight Town. The tracks above curved around the city like a highway, then separated out and into the peaks ahead. He could see the old railroad in the distance, parted by sparkling, lime green grass on all sides. He slumped and trudged around the side opposite to the station rear. Then, he dipped through the entrance of the cave to the water fall beneath Station Heights, and lumbered through the darkness.

The falls thundered against his eardrums as he scaled the depths along the water's side. He continued until he reached Twilight Town's underground irrigation system, wincing at the smell of sludge and waste trailing through the canals. To his relief, the metal grating was empty of workers today. He clanged up an iron stairway, passed grate, and scaled a ladder to a manhole cover that emptied onto a back alley with a bunch of old junk that had never been cleared out. When he popped through and glanced around, he saw that he was alone. He hurried through alleys and backroads until he reached his grandpa's car shop on the outskirts of town, drifting around its backside so none of its employees would see him from the front. When he reached the garage, he heard the voice of his 'pa bleating on about where he was. He tried tiptoeing behind his back, but when he felt a wrench fling for his head, he yelped and ducked.

"Where the hell ya been, kid?" barked his 'pa, puffing through the end of one cigarette as he extricated another from the pack slipped through the goggle strap around his head. "It's eleven fuckin' o'clock and you ain't said a word ye'd be out later 'n ten."

"Sorry, 'pa," Roxas croaked, trying to get to his room. His 'pa stared behind him with narrowed eyes. "Somethin' a matter, kiddo?" he called. Roxas shook his head, praying that he would forget about the cigarettes.

"Feelin' guilty cause ye stole my fags?"

"Mother trucker..." Roxas scowled, stopping and waiting for the inevitable blow up. When a chair creaked and a hand fell over his shoulder, he looked up with watering eyes. The man above, young for a grandfather, stared down through keen blue irises and locks of brilliant, golden blond that still evaded greying. He hunkered low to meet Roxas' glance.

"Didge get your friends in trouble for smoking?" he asked. Roxas blushed and dug his toe into the ground, giggling in nervousness and mumbling that he just wanted to try it. His granddad snorted. Then he whacked Roxas on the back and told him to get upstairs before he reconsidered hitting him.

"Seriously, Cid?" chimed a voice from under the body of a pickup. When its owner rolled out, he was glowering. He had the same tan and fiery red cheeks as his brother, but his blue eyes were narrower, his lips smaller, and his hair taller and golden blond. The lean muscles of his arms bulged as he hoisted himself to standing and wiped the oil off on his jeans. He dug his hands through his hair in vexation as another boy with dusk black locks and amber eyes peered up from another truck beside.

"First time I stole a cigarette I got my ass beat an my skateboard taken away," he bellowed. Roxas' grandpa groaned and snapped that Ventus had been ten when that happened and that Roxas was fifteen, now.

"It's his mother fuckin' birthday tomorrow, ya little shit, give him some fuckin' space."

"Don't worry, Mr. Highwind, we'll give him some space when the time comes," drawled the dusk headed boy far ahead. Cid shook his head and clicked his tongue. Then he told Roxas to get some sleep. As Roxas shut the door and mounted the staircase to the apartment above, he heard the two men talking.

"You know you're creating some real resentment treatin' that kid better than you do me. You always liked Cloud better, too."

"Ven, you know damn well I love all of y'all equally. Quit the bullshit. You see that look of terror in his eyes?"

"That's that fuckin' puppy look he makes when he's about to get in trouble and you fall for it every time."

"He's been through some shit today an I know he won' tell me what it is. I'm not gonna make it any worse by whackin' him or takin' his shit. It was simple curiosity, I saw the pack an he only took two. You passed the whole fuckin' thing around to your lousy friends."

"I was ten fuckin' years old, how you gonna call a bunch of ten year olds 'lousy'?"

"Cause they were an they still are!"

"Even me, Cid?"

"Shut up, Vanitas, this ain't your affair."

"Just cause you're sad cause he ain't got any real friends an he stays in alleys playin' cards all fuckin' day-"

"Better cards than pot-"

"You'd never let me smoke pot anyway, old man-"

"Damn right, I wouldn't! But you'd find a way to do it all on your own, ya little shit!"

"I'm not a shit!"

Roxas heard another wrench fly and knew Cid was at it for real. He escaped to his room and shut the door behind him, hiding his legendary card deck far in his closet so that his older brother would not find it and destroy it. Sure enough, heavy feet hammered up the stairs and and his fist wrapped against his bedroom door.

"Pa wants you," Ventus snarled gruffly.

"But he just told me-"

"He's got some fuckin' present for you."

Roxas scoffed, grabbed his desk, and shoved it across the wood of his room, thankful that the fuzzy feet attached to its legs kept its approach silent. When it was safely jammed under the lock, he sighed and plopped on his bed, fishing his summer homework from beneath the sheets and taking out his walkman and Beats knockoff headphones. This was one of the many times he was thankful for having bars around his window. Neither Ventus nor his seedy friends could get in or out that way. Then again, neither could he. All he could hope for was that his door held up and he could sneak out some time to feed himself or go to the bathroom.

He heard Ventus' footsteps stomp off and the next bedroom door slam. He scoffed again. Unplugged one headphone and paused his music. It seemed as though the fiendish pair outside had disappeared. Made Roxas chuckle. They were evolving. After five minutes passed, he heard a creaking door, shuffling feet, and a scowl.

"He's not coming out, Ven," drawled Vanitas' voice. This seedy character was a new addition to Cid's garage. Usually Roxas' eldest brother hung out with this weird englishman named Rould and his friend Lauriam. Vanitas seemed closer to his age, but twice as creepy as the others, who were approaching thirty and thirty five without having settled down. At least Vanitas didn't make Cid's lip curl in disgust when he walked in. Roxas' pa would just narrow his eyes, most likely internally thanking the gods for giving Ventus a friend who at least didn't _appear_ to be a drug addict or drifter.

Ven's door shoved open and the boy stomped into the hall, asking if Vanitas heard anything.

"Maybe he's listening to music or something," Vanitas suggested in a cool voice. Ven scoffed, muttering that he probably had his walkman plugged in. Vanitas cackled. "Walkman, fuck..." he sighed in nostalgia. Ven's hand thundered against Roxas' door, jolting him from his listening and making him yelp.

"You little shit, open your door!" the man boomed, jiggling the lock. His friend cackled at his side. After screaming himself hoarse, Ventus gave up and clambered down the stairs, this time for real. For a moment, there was silence. Roxas sighed in relief and slipped his headphones back on, closing his eyes and laying on his bed stomach down, feet kicking above him as he read and scribbled in a notebook. He didn't hear as the lock on his door unlatched. When the knob turned and thumped against his desk, he jolted up. When he glanced towards it, he gasped. The desk was pushing forward slowly. Behind it, the door was inching open. He scrambled up and stood in front of it, trying to stop its journey. When he glanced through the sliver of space between, his coke bottle glasses met one amber eye, a nostril, and a half grin. He gasped and gulped.

"Hi, Roxas," Vanitas said. "Don't you want to get your grandpa's present?"

"No," Roxas gulped in terror. The tears pooling around his eyes were magnified inside his glasses. Vanitas' eye narrowed and flashed.

"You know," he crooned, "if you want to keep someone out of your room, you've got to jam something under the knob so it can't go forward. Putting a weight in front of the door won't work."

"Uh..." Roxas gulped. "Thanks?"

"Open the door now," Vanitas said. "Or I'll punish you twice as hard. You've got no choice but to take my word for it."

Roxas faltered and sniffed. Then, cracking, he shoved his desk away and inched for the hall. He was steered back by Vanitas, who slipped into his room and stood at its center, digging his hands in his pockets as he glanced around. When he saw the book Roxas was reading, he chuckled and picked it up.

"Frankenstein?" he murmured. Roxas nodded and said it was his summer homework. Vanitas snorted and threw the book down, slipping to his bed and leaning over his notes. When he took the notebook in his hand and flipped through it, Roxas inched forward and tried grabbing it back. Vanitas raised it above his head and raised an eyebrow.

"What are you doing, Roxas?" he asked.

"I- I'm trying to do my homework," Roxas responded, digging under his glasses and wiping the tears from his eyes. "I need my notebook."

"Stick your tongue in my mouth and I'll give it back," Vanitas responded. Roxas faltered and reeled back in befuddlement. Stick his tongue in his mouth? What the heck? He giggled from nervous confusion. Vanitas grinned back, canines sharp as incisors. Roxas' grin trembled down.

"I don't get it," Roxas whispered. Vanitas stepped up with his back to the door and cupped between Roxas' legs. Roxas clamped up as his eyes widened. Vanitas' hand stayed rested around his balls through the fabric, thumb moving back and forth. "Stick your tongue. In my mouth," he cooed. Roxas hesitated, blinded by the absurdity of the situation. Then he opened his mouth, stuck out his tongue, and raised it towards Vanitas' gaping grin. Suddenly, Roxas' door slammed against the desk only half removed. Roxas jumped as Vanitas' hands returned to his pockets. When Ventus stumbled inside and saw the two of them a foot apart, Vanitas expressionless and Roxas red and dumb as a cherry, he furrowed his brows.

"Vanitas," he snapped. "What the fuck are you doin'?"

"Just checking Roxas' homework," Vanitas said nonchalantly. He swaggered around Ventus without concern. For a moment Ventus and Roxas stood in the room alone. When they met eyes, Ventus' lips formed with a question.

"Uh, Roxas?" he started. "Did he...?"

Roxas stared at Ventus without seeing him, blinking back the shame crowding in droplets along the base of his eyes. "Did he what?" he evaded. Ventus scoffed and shook his head. Then he blustered, "never mind," and slipped from Roxas' room, slamming the door behind him. Before Roxas could relax, Ventus thrust his head back in and hissed, "by the way, Cloud's decided to show up for your birthday." Then, he was gone. Roxas stared at the space he had inhabited without expression. Cloud was actually coming back home? That was new. Cid must have guilted him into visiting. When he sat back on his bed, he stared at his reflection in the plastic end of one of this headphones and padded around his hair, thinking of the promise the kids from the football team had made earlier that day. Then, incensed, he tore from his bedroom, locked the door with the key he kept around his neck constantly, and hurried into the bathroom. Once the door was locked behind him, he fished Cid's shaving kit from under the sink and read the instructions. Then, turning the electric razor on, he shut his eyes, set it to number two, and whipped it across the center of his head. When he peeked an eye open and stared in the mirror, he gasped and grinned, giddy with laughter. He looked ridiculous, like a fluffy eared bear. Gritting his teeth, he tried going with the grain and carried the razor around planes of dirty blond tresses. Halfway through, footsteps clambered up the stairs again. Ventus rapped first on his bedroom door, then the bathroom door. Roxas called that he was pooping.

"Pooping doesn't take that fuckin' long, Rox," Ventus growled. "Get down here, Cid's orderin' pizza."

"I'm almost done!" Roxas shrieked in as high pitched a scream as he could.

"Stop screamin' like a kid having a psychotic fuckin' break!" Ventus spat. "Get out NOW."

Roxas ignored him and carried the razor faster around his head. Ten minutes later, Ventus was downstairs and he was finally finished. But when he got a good look in the mirror, he furrowed his brows. Something had gone wrong. The cut didn't look even at all. He looked like a sheared sheep. When Ven's footsteps clambered up again and a key jiggled in the lock, Roxas gasped and settled the razor back in its kit, distributing it under the sink just as Ven barged in. The brothers met eyes. When Ven's gaze fell on Roxas' mottled buzz, his eyes widened to saucers. Then, he burst into tears of laughter, collapsing against the wall and hugging himself with glee. Roxas slumped against the floor and screamed for him to stop laughing, kicking him in the shin in frustration. Ven was so entertained he didn't even notice.

"Holy fu-u-uck," he cackled, hiccuping through the 'fuck,' before descending lower against the floor. Soon another pair of footsteps clomped up too. They stopped just short of Ven's legs.

"Mother fucker, kiddo, what the hell were ya doing?"

"Bahahahahaha..." Ventus shrieked, kicking his leg against the door in manic fits. Roxas burst into tears and collapsed on himself as Cid lowered beside him and patted his back.

"They said they'd beat me up if they saw me with long haiiirrrr," Roxas wailed. Cid scowled and shot a glower to Ven, who stifled more laughter before bursting into howls again.

"C'mere, kiddo," Cid sighed, slipping the razor back out of its kit and plugging it in. "Let's fix you up..."

•∞•

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 **A/N: Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW!**


	2. Energy Drain

•∞•

 ** _Two: Energy Drain_**

•∞•

Dinner the following evening was painfully quiet.

Ventus beamed as he glanced from Roxas, to Cid, to Cloud in smug glee. Cloud peered at the youngest from under deep furrowed brows every few minutes, examining in wonder the way the electric light from the fan shone on his almost bald scalp. Cid snarled through his dinner at breakneck speed, peeping at Cloud on repeat in giddiness, like a schoolboy waiting for his teacher to speak first. Though Ventus was the eldest, Cloud sat at the head of the table opposite his grandfather.

"So how's work, kiddo?"

"Fine," Cloud sighed in disinterest, picking at his fried chicken in thinly veiled disgust.

"Heard that business is doin' spankin' good," Cid chirped in pride. Cloud shrugged and muttered that it was okay.

"How's Tifa?" Cid tried.

"Good," Cloud muttered. When Cid opened his mouth for another question, Cloud stood, pushed his plate forward, and said he was heading to bed early. "My head's really hurting," he worded in lame excuse. Then, before anyone could truly process it, he was gone, locked in Roxas' room. It had originally been decided that Cloud would take Ven's room and that Ven and Roxas would share, but Roxas refused to have Ven anywhere near his belongings, so he volunteered to sleep on the couch downstairs while Cloud took his bed. In the end, he ended up sneaking into Cid's room and sleeping beside him, snuggled against his back like a teddy bear. Though Cid thought fifteen was way past the appropriate age for kids to be sleeping in a parent's bed, he felt so sorry for Roxas' hair and bullying situation that he caved and let him in. In the end, the old man left the bed completely to his youngest grandchild and smoked on the porch above the shop all night. After five nights of this pattern, it was beginning to take its toll.

Once Cloud left, Cid groaned and rubbed the exhaustion from his face. Ventus scoffed and shook his head.

"What an asshole," he muttered.

"Ven," Cid warned. "Your brother is not an asshole."

"He's said five words to us in five days," Ven spat. "Fuckin' ridiculous. Why come at all?"

"Ven, you cuss one more time an I swear I will fuckin-" Cid started. A door slammed and Cloud hurried back in, peeking his head from the bedroom hall into the kitchen.

"Uh, could you guys quiet down?" he asked. "I'm just, it's like a zoo in here." Then he was gone again. Cid stared up in shock. Ven snorted and pointed in indication.

"See what he thinks of us?" he snarled. "A 'zoo'? If I was his 'pa, I'd roast an eat the bastard."

"Well, you're not his 'pa," Cid snapped. "An if you were, he'd just leave an never come back."

"Good riddance," Ven started. Suddenly, Cid stood up and leaned over him in anger.

"You don' know nothin' about 'good riddance'," the old man spat, face crimson and snarling. "How many deaths does it take for you to get into your thick fuckin' skull that people can be swept from your arms in an instant? How many? You want Cloud to die? Me? Roxas? Then who the fuck you got left, you little mother fucker? Those weird fuckin' drug addicts you hang around with? Then you'll be gone too-"

"Well maybe I wanna be fuckin' gone!" Ventus roared suddenly, uncharacteristic tears budding in his eyes. Roxas sunk in his seat and got very interested in his chicken wings, dipping them gently in ketchup before swallowing them whole to mask the sound of his chewing.

"I'm tired of being the eldest of a family who doesn't fuckin' treat me like I exist! Cloud mother fuckin' _Strife._ He didn't even want our _name,_ 'pa. Why the fuck would he want us?"

"Cloud took your mama's maiden name because he loved her-"

"No!" Ven bellowed. "He took her mother fuckin' name because he wanted to be as far away from us as possible, why the fuck do you think he ran away to her stuck up fuckin' family? Cause he 'loved' her? Bullshit! He didn't like your parenting!"

"At least the little fuck built his own company an did something with his life," Cid spat. "What the fuck you doin', Ven? Usin' your paychecks for weed and prostitutes cause you can't get a real fuckin' woman to date ya? Sleeping in one of my beds for fuckin' free? Following around that fuckin' molester of a buddy of yours-"

"Oh, so now Vanitas is a fuckin' _molester_?" Ven roared. "What kind of shit are you pullin' from your ass?"

"You can't tell me you haven't seen the weird fuckin' way he looks at Roxas every time the kid passes," Cid boomed. "What if he corners Roxas one day an I'm not around to save him? Or maybe that's your fuckin' mojo. You're so fuckin' jealous of your little brother you'd put him in a fuckin' shark tank-"

"I'm not jealous!" Ven shrieked. "No one would want to rape that little fucker, anyway!"

Roxas abandoned his food completely and slipped into the upstairs hall, trudging for his bedroom door and turning the knob without thinking. When he stumbled inside and met with Cloud's furious blue eyes, he gasped and turned in fear, mumbling that he wasn't thinking. Cloud stopped him with a grunt, making him turn in curiosity.

"It's alright, um," he faltered, settling on, "Roxas."

Roxas' shoulders sagged. He was so invisible that his own brother faltered on his name. In desolation he sagged and turned, gathering his reading assignment and walkman from Cid's bedroom and carrying it to the stairs. Cloud called for him to wait.

"Hey," he said, wincing through an apologetic smile. "Happy belated birthday. I, uh, I know I really didn't say it after your party-"

"I didn't have a party," Roxas muttered in reply. "Hayner was in trouble and Pence went on vacation."

"Well, I know they say three's a crowd," Cloud snorted. "But you can't possibly just have two friends."

Roxas stared at him. Cloud stared back. Then his face contorted in pity. Before he could call Roxas' name again the boy disappeared for the porch, sitting outside and smelling the succulent night air, where his family's argument was like a song under the ocean.

•∞•

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A/N: Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW!


	3. Living Arrow

**A/N: Thank you for being a faithful follower, Forsaken XIII! Finally back with a new chapter in between uploading Hero Academy (lol I should not be doing 2 stories at once T.T)**

 **WARNING! This chapter contains sexuality, language.**

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•∞•

 ** _Three: Living Arrow_**

•∞•

"So your brother's okay with us using his laptop?" Hayner gulped. Roxas nodded and flitted to his bedroom with satisfaction, saying that if he wasn't, they had a full hour to themselves to use it on the sly. Three days had passed between the rancorous argument to end all arguments between Cid and Ventus. Ventus had shown his loyalties by running off to stay in Vanitas' apartment until things smoothed over. Cid holed up in the shop or on the porch, smoking two packs a day instead of one. The butts and containers laid like bodies along every hard surface. Ashtrays covered the kitchen table, the coffee table before the couch, the porch, the counter tops, even the bathroom window ledge. The recycling bin was bursting with the empty carcasses, slots torn and crumpled like empty egg sacks. It grossed Roxas out whenever he saw them, but he could never say anything. Maybe it grossed out Cloud, too, because he had escaped to a friend's house after the argument and stayed there on and off ever since, coming back only for dinner or when it seemed like Cid was ready to behave himself. Cloud had given up trying to converse with Roxas, opting instead to glare at him whenever he passed. Roxas was certain he would have talked to him if he was more interesting. But like the kids on the patio said: he was invisible. Just by being quiet and non-argumentative, he had turned again into the star child. Cid gave him bits of money when he asked, let him have the house to himself, and even allowed him to invite his friends over for sleepovers and to play around Cloud's stuff in his room. One day Roxas told Cloud that dinner was ready right as he logged onto his computer. Cloud hadn't even expected him to look at the keys. Now, his demise was imminent.

"What should we look up?" Roxas whispered with glee, logging in and wondering who the people surrounding Cloud in his background picture were. One had blue eyes and brown hair. That must have been Leon. He had come around before, when Cloud was younger. Roxas had only been five when they were fourteen, though, so his memory was not the most reliable. There were two girls, one with black hair, one with an auburn braid. He had met her, too. The one with long black hair and red eyes he had not met. The last person, who stood directly on Cloud's right, was a man with twinkling blue eyes and black hair like the back of a porcupine. Every fiber of his being smiled with him. He looked so happy.

"Those Cloud's buddies?" Hayner asked, crackling his hair gel as he scratched the roots. Roxas nodded.

"They're all super hot," Hayner muttered in dejection.

"Cloud always got the babes in school," Roxas explained. "Cid said he brought home a different girlfriend for every day of the week except Sunday."

"Why Sunday?"

"Day of rest."

"Oh."

"Instead he brought home Leon."

"Bahaha."

Roxas hovered over the search engine with jittering fingers. "Wanna look up the legendary decks?" he whispered. Hayner's eyes twinkled with want. Then he scowled and shook his head. "No..." he whispered. "Let's look up something really inappropriate. Something we'd never get the chance to look up elsewhere."

"Porn?" Roxas chirped. Hayner jumped up and down in glee behind him. Hayner's mother would have flayed him alive if she caught him peeping at a _sliver_ of pornographic material. As far as Roxas remembered, she had left Hayner's dad because of a porn or chat room addiction. Or maybe it was because he cheated on her while she was deployed.

"Are you sure this is healthy for you?" Roxas intoned. "You know, does porn addiction... run in the family?"

"It wasn't a porn addiction, Roxas!" Hayner whined, reddening and averting his gaze. "That was just one of the points that came up in an argument, he just looked at it every once in a while."

"Okay," Roxas sighed. Hayner tapped his chin and bit his lip. Then he asked Roxas what to search. He shrugged and said he'd never seen porn, so he didn't know his favorite. Hayner shrugged and typed in "top ten porn." A number of top ten lists for movies, stars, and videos came up. Hayner clicked the first link and scrolled down, asking Roxas which video he wanted to see first. Roxas picked one with a tan boy with hair kind of like Sora's. The video started off in a skating rink. A girl with big boobs, a low cut polo, and a tiny cheerleader skirt rolled over and asked how much it would be for another hour. The guy behind the desk grinned and said that every hour was ten dollars. The girl pouted and said she didn't have anything left.

 _What's worth ten dollars to you?_ the boy asked with a wink. Ten minutes later they were fucking over the countertop, the girl making a range of ridiculous faces as Hayner and Roxas snorted with laughter.

"Yo, dawg, dawg," Roxas said, tapping Hayner's shoulder. When Hayner looked at him, he rolled his eyes into the back of his head, shaped his mouth into an 'o', and bellowed in a deep voice "TRUCK YEEESSSSSSS." Hayner sobbed with laughter and nearly fell out of his seat as Roxas grinned and set his palm beneath his chin. His smile faltered as the boy in the video's ass became visible, doing the same worm like movement Lea had done in the clock tower. It was a little less tan than the rest of him but very perky. It even jiggled as he moved. Roxas was transfixed. Then the image cut to his flushed face, grinning down at his victim as she mewled and threw her legs over his shoulders.

"Take my full cock, bitch," the boy cooed, thrusting forward and garnering a dramatic, drawn out, "oh, _baby,_ " from the girl below.

"Take my full cock, bitch," Roxas repeated under his breath, clapping his hand over his mouth when he realized he had cursed. Hayner jumped up from the seat side and widened his eyes in shock. "Did you just cuss?"

"Yeah," Roxas giggled, as if he had just skipped school or back talked a professor. Hayner screeched in delight and jumped up and down in the seat.

"You boys okay up there?" Cid called from the shop.

"We're fine, 'pa," Roxas trilled. When that video ended, they scrolled through a few more. Then Hayner tapped on his shoulder.

"Yo, dude..." he whispered. " _Dude_..."

"What?" Roxas giggled nervously. Hayner just stared at him with a mischievous glance.

"Gay porn," he whispered. "Girl on girl?"

"If you want," Roxas murmured with a shrug.

"Boy on boy?" Hayner cackled as if he had just suggested summoning spirits. Roxas pondered it. Then he said they could look up both. First they looked up the girl on girl. It was a lot of licking and rubbing, with an occasional plastic penis that looked like it should have been painful. But the girls seemed to enjoy it. They even peed a little, which, according to the tags, was called 'squirting.'

"Squirting," Hayner and Roxas repeated out loud, committing it to memory.

"I wanna make a girl squirt," Hayner said with a sudden, strange longing. Roxas shrugged and said it would be pretty cool. Hayner turned to him with a face full of coming confession. "I wanna make Olette squirt," he whispered. Roxas furrowed his brows, trying to remember who Olette was.

"The one with acne?" he asked. Hayner scowled and said it wasn't normal acne. "She says she's getting on birth control to get rid of it because it's hormonal. And besides- what's the problem with a little acne? Pence has eczema."

"Well, her hair is in that weird mullet cut, and it's always kind of smelly and greasy-"

"Dude, your hair was smelly and greasy before you cut it. You like, never washed it."

"But Cid said I didn't need to because it's thick-"

"But it's like this muddy blond, so the grease shows up more than if it was like, golden blond-"

"Look, I'm sorry I got the bad genes in the family, truck nuggets!" Roxas warbled in dejection. "At least my armpits don't stink like hers-"

"She's vegetal or something, dude!" Hayner snapped. "She like, only eats plant fibers cause she cares about the environment. She uses this natural deodorant, like baking powder and herbs and just rubs it in there or something-"

"And her legs are hairy-"

"A little hair never hurt nobody!" Hayner snapped in reply. Then he jumped up and puffed out his chest in determination. "I'm gonna make that vegetal squirt like a mother trucker!"

Roxas scowled and said good luck. Hayner asked if he wanted to look up gay porn. Roxas shrugged and typed in "top ten gay porn." Year reviews of favorite gay porn scenes came up. When he clicked the first, his eyes nearly bugged out. It was a scene from a shower room. The thumbnail had nine muscular, towel clad men staring down at one centered, naked man with his arms shrugged up in a sort of "ya got me!" pose. Roxas' mouth went dry. His mind was doing this strange thing where it photoshopped all the men's faces in the thumbnail with the faces of the varsity football team at his school. He thought that Lea would be the guy the middle, since he had been the only one Roxas had seen naked. But sure enough, it was Sora. Confusing.

"Oh, this one looks sick, dude," Hayner gasped, clicking on the video before Roxas could say otherwise. It started innocently enough. An empty shower room. Then, clanging doors and building voices. A gaggle of boys burst in, wiping sweat from their brows, shaking out their hair, undoing their cleats...

Cleats?! Porn teams played football, too? Roxas felt his balls snuggle up into their sockets as his lips pursed and his eyes widened. He had started sweating from the backs of his knees and inner elbows.

Then they were naked. Traipsing to the middle of the showers, jutting on the taps, and talking.

 _Yo, where is Jack?_ scowled one resembling Riku.

 _He's totally still on the field with coach_ said another. _Doesn't he know he'll never get better if he doesn't figure out how to free those hips?_

"Free those hips, Roxassssss," Hayner mouthed in his ear, howling when Roxas batted him away. "Fuck, I wonder if they're all bigger than me." Hayner pulled away his pants and peeked down, comparing his length and girth sitting with that of the men in the video. Roxas tried not to peek, but the line of mousy brown hair creeping below Hayner's abdomen pierced his line of sight like a spear.

"Huh," he mumbled to himself, reasoning that it was only expected that he would have the same natural hair color as his mother.

"Mother trucker," Hayner sighed in dejection. "Maybe I'll get bigger when I'm older."

Roxas shrugged and peeped down at himself. He had never measured, but compared to the people in the video, he thought his wasn't a bad size. When he noticed it had begun poking up, he snapped his pants shut and crossed his legs. His dick snuggled against his thigh, spreading his blush from his cheeks to his chest again. The video dialogue droned through the back of his head.

 _Guys, we should totally help him out!_

 _What do you mean, Bill?_

 _If Jack doesn't start scoring come September, we're goners!_

 _Remember what the seniors did to Connor when he was striker?_

 _How could we forget? I got to join in!_

 _Well, let's bring back the council, boys, what do you say?_

 _Yeah! Let's melt that stick out of his ass with our cum!_

"Aahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Hayner collapsed, crying again. Roxas told him to shush, watching his door like a hawk incase his 'pa came upstairs to check on them. When a door slammed, he yelped and jumped. Then he realized it was just from the video. "Jack" had made his appearance. He was smaller than the other boys and walked stiffly. Suddenly Roxas saw his own face pasted in his place. He swatted the image away, but the face just transferred to Sora's. Roxas gasped and shook his head. When he came back to, Jack was removing his clothes slowly, wiping away tears, and stepping towards the center of the showers. His teammates gave each other meaningful glances and checked him out as he stood beside them.

 _How'd the talk with coach, go, Jack?_

 _He just said I'm not moving my hips right. I'm not diving for it or giving my all._

 _Bummer..._ Cue another meaningful glance and muffled giggle from the team.

"Bummer," Hayner and Roxas repeated at once, enthralled.

 _But I'm practicing so hard! I don't know what I'm doing wrong..._

 _Maybe you're just not submitting to the moment._

 _What?_

 _Football's like sex, Jack. You gotta let it penetrate you and move you._

"This is how they coach the World Cup," Hayner tried to joke, but a snort broke the punchline and he descended into laughter again.

 _Guys, I don't get what you're talking about!_

Roxas winced. Though Jack was hot, he wasn't very good at acting. He just looked like he was trying to fart. The sudden giggle taking over Roxas relaxed his nervousness enough for him to realize his glasses were again at the tip of his nose. He pushed them up and sighed in relief. Through the screen, Jack's teammates grabbed him and held him down, pinning Roxas to his seat as well.

 _Guys, what are you doing?!_

 _Jack, your hips are like vices. The only thing that's gonna loosen them is a big dick._

 _No, guys, stop!_

"This is looking kind of like rape," Roxas said in discomfort. Hayner nodded and winced. Then, the movie did something surprising. Jack descended into fake sobs and was comforted by his teammates.

 _Jack, if you don't want this, we don't have to do it. Maybe coach knows a better way..._

 _No, it's not that... I just... I've wanted this all year!_

"Oh, snap," Hayner blurted in genuine surprise. Roxas mouthed Jack's words after he said them without even realizing, eyes brimming with tears.

 _I've always admired you guys, even when you thought I was worthless. I just... I never wanted to trust you..._

 _We're sorry for being mean to you in the beginning, Jack. But we swear, we're going to start being the team you deserve._

 _Just pick whichever one of us you want. Right now, we're yours to do whatever you want with. Just say who._

 _I..._ Jack sniffed luxuriantly. Then, he broke into a heavy lidded, chin raised, mouth opened smile. _I want all of you._

"Mother trucker!" Hayner cackled, snapping his fingers as Jack's team descended on him like a pack of wolves. Roxas watched in a mixture of horror and wonder as naked male bodies crushed and rubbed against each other. Gushing, erect penises pounced from every angle of the screen, enveloping Jack in discharge. He took one in his mouth after the other, coughing at first but improving at an unnatural rate as he moved down the line. When it closed up on his asshole, Hayner reeled back in gleeful disgust, wrinkling his nose and hissing that that was an image he didn't need stuck in his head. But blood rushed between Roxas' legs. His mouth opened. He gulped back a pant.

 _Aaahhh~_ Jack groaned as a group of fingers thrust inside him. Then, the fingers fell aside, Jack was on his back with shower water falling over him and a dick in his mouth, someone else had his dick in their mouth, and a third team member was sticking his tongue towards another close up of Jack's taut, slightly open hole.

"Freaking frick, bro!" Hayner cackled, clapping Roxas' back. Roxas gave a weak chuckle beside him, shuddering in a breath when the team member's tongue went inside. He could almost feel the strange man's tongue inside himself. He winced and fidgeted against the sensation, beating it down as he forced out a hearty laugh to match Hayner's. "Sick, bro!" he snarled at the screen, stabbing each of the men within with rancor. In reply, a dick pushed slowly into Jack's ass, cutting off Roxas' air completely as he rose from his seat without thinking, living with Jack as his eyes burst open in shock and excited terror.

 _It's so biiggggg_ Jack wailed. The man above him winked and kissed his cheek in a surprising moment of tenderness. What seemed like a thousand arms wrapped around him as the lips of their owners did the same.

 _It's okay_ the team whispered. _We know you can take it. Just relax._

Everyone looked into each other's eyes. Then, Jack's back arched as his teammate pushed himself in. From then on it was a free for all. Roxas and Hayner watched, stupefied, as Jack bounced on the laps of countless boys, penis slapping up and down, back arched, and mouth wide. First he was on the floor, then on the edge of a locker bench as a team member wormed him from behind, then belly down as another wormed him, then pressed against a wall, and then between two men bouncing up and down in midair as they held him up.

"Dude, imagine taking two dicks at once," Hayner gasped in strange respect. "I'd never recover."

Roxas preferred not to imagine how he would respond to two dicks at all. He was so busy being horrified and wrenched over Jack's wondrous, ecstatic expressions that he could barely think at all. Once Jack had enjoyed the entirety of his team, random boys started going at each other. Jack got to nail a few, too. Twenty minutes in and it looked like he had been having sex his whole life. Then, the locker door burst open again. The boys gasped and swiveled around, all in a variety of sexual positions. The camera panned to a foot stepping in the locker room door. When it raised up, a man with a whistle and baseball cap was cupping a really big erection and grinning.

 _Now, how the hell do you boys mean to train without a coach?_ he winked. His team smiled and laughed. Then the credits began rolling. Hayner was down for the count again, rolling around the floor laughing.

"Mother trucker," the blond whispered.

"There's a part two," Roxas said hopefully, but the boy waved him off. "Nah..." he sighed. Then he groaned and rubbed his face down. "Nuggets, that made me kind of hot, actually. Do you think I'm gay?"

Roxas shrugged, strange hope burning his chest. Hayner shrugged and tapped his crocs together as he stared at Roxas' ceiling.

"I wish I had a girlfriend," he said in sudden dejection, tears creeping at his eyes. "Imagine being able to do sexy stuff like that _every day._ I'd never stop. And with Olette..." he added, clasping his hand to his heart and sniffing. When he grimaced, Roxas padded to the side and patted his shoulder in support.

"Do you think anyone will every love me, Roxas?" Hayner asked. Roxas shrugged.

"Am I ugly or something? Girls never approach me at school."

"Well, you're kind of..." Roxas started. Hayner goaded him with a dark frown.

"I guess you just act kind of weird, sometimes. Like, you spout Yu-Gi-Oh! lines out of nowhere and no one gets it but me. And you're kind of antagonistic when you talk to girls."

"Really?" Hayner gasped. "Like how?"

"Like..." Roxas started. Then he did his best snarl and frown and whipped to face Hayner, inches from his face. "Wanna go out?" he barked.

"I'm not like that!" Hayner cried, rolling away. "I'm a perfect gentleman!"

"I don't know, you'd have to ask my brother Cloud, he gets all the girls," Roxas muttered. "Maybe you should let your hair grow out natural."

"But this is my Justin Timberlake do!" Hayner whined.

"It looks like a weapon, dude," Roxas replied. Hayner scowled and padded at it, wincing as one of the spikes poked him.

"Well..." he sighed. Then he frowned. "I'll think about it. I may need to shave it anyway because it's gotten so damaged from the bleach."

"We could be twins!" Roxas chirped. Hayner shrugged in acquiescence, saying that Roxas' stinky head had gone away since he'd shaved.

"It makes your face look good," he added with a slight flush.

"Really?" Roxas said, running his hand along his head with joy. When he pressed his glasses to his nose, Hayner shook his head and looked up again.

"Dude..." he whispered. "Imagine being gay. My mom would cry."

"Really?" Roxas said. He had never seen Beatrix cry. It was a scary thought.

"Cid would totally kick you out," Hayner said smugly. "Ventus would beat you up."

"You think?" Roxas gulped. Hayner nodded.

"Oh, you'd be toast." Then he paused and grinned. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"S-sure," Roxas faltered through a cough, telling Hayner to find something online while he went into the bathroom. As soon as he got inside and locked the door behind him, he pulled down his pants with a wince. When he saw what lay beneath, he clamped his hand over his mouth in shock.

A full blown erection greeted him like a traitor. He bit his lip and checked that the door was completely locked. Then, pulling down his pants, lifting the toilet seat, and straddling it, he ran his hand over himself. His penis twitched. Something about the way it twitched felt really... _nice._ It made Roxas pant and want to shake his head back and forth, or jump, or roll around the ground. Instead he tucked his chin forward and ran his hand over it again. His hips rolled back and forth of their own accord. As his body wormed, he padded his finger towards his asshole, trying to get it in. He winced at the discomfort, frowning in confusion. Jack from the porn video looked like he liked it a lot better than it actually felt. Roxas decided to dig his finger between it and his balls, the same way one of the men in the video had done. That felt pretty nice.

As he rocked against the toilet harder, the seat slid and squeaked awkwardly. Roxas jumped in fright and rolled over the side, grabbing the sink before he fell on tile. Then he pressed his fists beneath him and rolled against them, moaning into the crook of his neck at the feelings it brought up. Though it was nice, it didn't really do anything to stop his erection. With bitten lip, he began rolling into one fist while using his other hand to stroke himself. His mind drifted from Hayner, to Pence, to Riku, to Lea. He imagined pressing his hands down Lea's arched back, pumping into him and making him groan. Then, he imagined Sora, back down before him, staring up with the same smiling, gaping expression as the boy in the porn video. Immediately, a wave of something came over him. Roxas gasped and clambered to the toilet, gushing into it like a faucet. He bit his shoulder to stop from screaming. When he finished, he slumped against the bathtub in exhaustion. A knock came on the door, jolting him up.

"Dude, you constipated?" Hayner asked. "Hurry up and watch the movie with me!"

"I'm coming!" Roxas said in reply, shaking as he grabbed a tissue and wiped himself off. As he hitched up his shorts and flushed the toilet, he glanced in the mirror and groaned.

His cheeks, neck, and chest were scarlet, taunting him like a seal of guilt. He ran a bath cloth under the cold tap and dabbed it over his face, taking deep breaths and thinking happy thoughts. Then, he unlocked the door, threw the bath cloth astride the tub, and called that he was coming.

•∞•

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 **A/N: Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW!**


	4. Aqua Spirit

**WARNING! This chapter contains sexuality, language.**

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•∞•

 ** _Four: Aqua Spirit_**

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Roxas holed himself up in his room with Cloud's computer for three days. On the first day he discovered that he couldn't pump or stick his finger inside himself without some sort of lubricant. On the second day he found KY jelly in Cloud's carry on bag. From then, he became limitless. There was a plethora of tips and how-to's for all kinds of sex and masturbation, and the porn site he and Hayner had found last proved excellent fodder for practicing. On the third day, as he hunted through articles about how to convince parents to accept unorthodox sexualities, he stumbled upon an article with the thumbnail poster, "straight men against gay suicide." A picture of Cloud's solemn, smiling face, glancing wistfully at something in the distance above the camera, greeted him like a cherubim. After that he hunted places to get lube, failing to lock on anywhere local that he could walk into inconspicuously. So he squeezed through the remainder of Cloud's KY and hoped he wouldn't notice it missing, if he came back at all. On the fourth day, Pence's family invited him to go to the beach. He accepted, emerging from his foul pit of a sleeping space and opening his window to air it out. Then he had a shower, scrambled around for his swimming togs and birthday money, and bounded out of the house in sandals that were slightly too small for him. Pence had gotten a new nintendo, so they watched in awe as his character, a little boy with pumpkin pants and a weird key for a weapon, used cards to continue through a castle that took away his memories. They even helped Pence make a new deck every once in a while. When they reached the beach, Pence's parents and his little sister made sandcastles while the three boys traipsed across the rocks. As they traveled, they talked about the escapade on Cloud's computer.

"We knew this would be like our one chance to get on a computer, cause neither of us have one," Hayner explained. "So we looked up porn."

"Seriously?" Pence gasped. "Why didn't you invite me?"

"You were on vacation," Roxas said in satisfaction, loving that Pence now regretted being absent for the week of his birthday.

"We even looked up gay porn for fun, and we watched this crazy video about this football team who wailed on one of their members."

"Ugh, gross," Pence laughed. Hayner said that it was like watching a horror movie. "You ever seen _Human Centipede_?" he asked.

"Have you?" Pence muttered in fear. _Human Centipede_ had been the talk of Twilight High when it came out a couple years back- apparently it was the most disgusting horror movie ever made.

"Nah, my mom doesn't let me watch that stuff," Hayner sighed. "But she went to see this movie called _Hereditary_ with a couple friends a few nights ago, and now she won't let me get my driver's permit and she thinks grandma's in a cult."

Roxas and Pence murmured that that sounded like it sucked. When silence except for the sound of gulls and crashing waves settled over, Roxas piped up that he had masturbated for the first time. Hayner and Pence snapped up in shock.

"Really?" Pence asked. Roxas nodded and said he had payed attention to some of the stuff the guys in the video did.

"You watched it that closely?" Hayner asked, wrinkling his nose. Roxas blushed and said he only noticed a couple of things.

"Well... did they work?" Pence inquired. Roxas nodded and said they had. Hayner and Pence stared at him with new respect.

"My mom would kill me..." Hayner started.

"My parents would cry," Pence added.

"My 'pa's too hung up over my brother Cloud to care," Roxas muttered. "Doesn't even notice when I'm in my room or out. He's been smoking two packs a day. Cloud left his fifth day here and he hasn't come back for almost a week."

"Why?"

"He overhead an argument between Cid and Ventus about how much of an a-hole he was. Guess he didn't want to stick around."

"Was he there for your birthday?"

"He... I think he forgot about it till Cid told him. He blamed it on me not having a party."

"What an a-hole," breathed Hayner. Then he crumpled in shame. "Sorry I couldn't come, bro."

"Me too," added Pence with a trembling lip. Roxas shrugged, getting melancholy himself.

"It's okay... It wouldn't have been much of a party anyway, right? Ventus probably would have ruined it like he did last year, or Cloud would have told us to keep quiet or something..."

Silence reigned again. Pence slipped on some rocks and tumbled into a low lying pool, garnering cackling laughter from Hayner and Roxas. As they continued towards the Pier- a snaking concrete platform that rose from around the rocks to a ladder that ended in a dip, Pence suggested that he delete his history.

"My what?" snapped Roxas in confusion, adjusting the strap he tied around the back of his glasses to protect them from falling off in rough terrain.

"Search history," responded Pence. "If you've been using Cloud's computer and he looks at the history or sees a weird image in his favorites bar, he may investigate and figure out what you've been doing."

The color left Roxas' face as he imagined the amount of gay porn videos and prostate orgasm articles locked in Cloud's history bar. With the amount of times he had gone to each of them, Cloud's favorites tab was probably filled to the brim. He shivered when he imagined the man reeling in disgust and telling Cid what a foul beast Roxas had turned into. When he imagined Ventus waiting for him with Vanitas in tow when he got home, he swayed and nearly toppled over. Luckily, Hayner caught him before he fell completely.

"Mother trucker, are you alright?" he gasped.

"I- if Cloud finds those videos, he," Roxas gulped in horror. "He'll kill me!"

"It's probably fine, Roxas!" Pence insisted. "He hasn't been home all week, who's to say he'll be there today?"

"I..." Roxas gulped. "I guess a couple more hours won't hurt."

After a hearty convincing from Hayner and Pence, he relaxed and continued to the Pier with them. When they saw who was already there, Roxas gasped and tore his glasses off of his head. The minute they disappeared, his world became a blue blur with occasional patches of tan and green. As he blinked around in a clinically blind stupor, Hayner asked him why he had taken his glasses off.

"I- I'll explain later," he gasped. "Let's just say if the people on the pier recognize who I am, they'll roast me alive."

"But, Roxas, you can't see without your glasses!" Pence wailed.

"Here, I'll carry you, let's turn around," Hayner suggested, heaping Roxas over his back and hiking him up on his hips. As they returned over the rocks they had come at a quickening pace, a booming voice called out to them, "hey, guys, over here!" For a moment they turned in shock. Riku, Xion, Kairi, and Sora stood on the edge of the pier in goading. When they failed to recognize the faces of the people turning towards them, though, they wrinkled their noses.

"Were you guys invited to the pier party?" asked Kairi, decked in a skimpy pink bikini. The trio on the rocks blinked up in confusion, Hayner and Pence locked on her breasts and thighs. Pier party?

"Uh... yeah," Pence snorted innocently. Roxas kicked Hayner in the leg, whispering that they had to go home so he could delete his browser history.

"We can't come," Hayner responded. "We're going on our way, now."

"Hey, you're thistle head, aren't you?" Riku asked, heaping his arms in a cross over his massive chest. Hayner winced, glancing up his nose at his flopping, ungelled spikes in embarrassed loss of words. Pence stood beside him equally dumb, while Roxas hid behind his back.

"Who are you carrying?" asked Xion in curiosity, wearing a black bikini with a thong bottom and halter neck top.

"Just a buddy," Hayner thought fast, croaking as he glanced away. "He hurt his foot, so we're gonna head back."

"He was walking just fine until he took his glasses off," Sora responded coolly at Xion's side. If Roxas hadn't been blind, he would have seen that he was in a speedo. Hayner yelped as Roxas bit him on the neck in fright. When Roxas whimpered, Hayner quickly turned it into a breathy laugh and slapped his knee.

"He was just scratching his head, y'all," the blond insisted. "Not that it's anything to you. Bye." Before he could leave, Sora leapt from the pier and hopped over the rocks like a gull to their side, the silver cross necklace he always wore beating along the hollow of his collarbone. When Hayner turned and drew inches away from his face, he reeled and nearly toppled Roxas over.

"Where does his foot hurt?" Sora asked, grabbing Roxas' foot and padding around it. It took everything in Roxas not to piss himself. When he got to Roxas' ankle, Hayner yelped for him to stop and shoved him away, causing Riku and company to suck in a sharp breath. Realizing what he had done, Hayner gulped and backed away. But Sora cocked his head to the side and moved closer. His posse scaled the rocks to his side, Xion calling over her shoulder. Like cockroaches, more football players emptied over the pier. The redhead was there. So was his girlfriend, an unrecognizable boy from first year, a girl with a sixties bob and fringe... and Demyx, Ienzo, Seifer, and Isa, all towering seniors bar Ienzo. Seifer had even brought his non football friends, Fuu and Rai, along. Rai was in varsity wrestling. Hayner hadn't even made JV. All wore varying states of bikinis, speedos, or old fashioned short trunks that Cid would have laughed to see again. Roxas was wearing a pair right now, although they bunched along his hips uncomfortably since they were too big on his lanky frame. They would have looked like booty shorts on Ventus, though from the looks of the male members of the football team, that was what was in style right now. Hayner had billowing trunks that carried to his knees and could practically act as a lifesaving device if he blew air into them. Pence wore the tragically tight, knee length speedo he had owned since doing club swimming in fifth grade. He looked like a half stuffed, eczema ridden sausage. Needless to say, the trio was no Vogue shoot. Though his teeth chattered, Roxas' blush crept all the way from his neck to the sides of his ribs, encasing him in a pillar of fire from his head to his navel. He could feel Sora's breath as the speedo clad panther edged around him, smirking at his blush, his blue eyes, his shaved head, and the coke bottle glasses stuck halfway out of his pocket. As soon as he spotted them, Sora wrenched them out and held them up to the sun.

"Huh..." he whispered. Then he turned to Roxas and grinned. "You been peeping on people getting it on lately?"

Roxas clawed at Hayner's chest, making him fidget and hitch him up to get him to stop. Roxas squeaked "no."

"Cause we recently found a guy that looks exactly like you, with the exact same glasses, getting off on one of my best friends making love to his girlfriend. Pretty sick, right?"

"Sounds sick," Hayner said for Roxas. Sora's glance told him to shut up. Roxas was relieved he couldn't make out his expressions. His blindness was all that was saving him from bursting into tears and giving himself away. Roxas whimpered that if that was true, then he must have had problems.

"I agree," Sora chirped. He held up the glasses again. "You don't need these to see, right? Are these a fashion statement? Because he wore these exact ones."

The trio stared helplessly forward. Sora grinned. Then he winked and fired back across the rocks, hopping up the pier and peering down the ladder at its end to the dive below. Roxas gasped and begged his friends to follow. Pence squeaked that he was going to get his dad. The football team howled with laughter as he slipped over the rocks, watching as he jolted and tumbled away. When Seifer asked if they wanted to bring him back, Riku snorted that he wasn't worth it. Hayner slipped Roxas from his shoulders and led him hand in hand to the edge of the pier where Sora was waiting. While Roxas looked down, pretending to limp on his "bad" foot, Hayner held out his palm.

"Okay, dudes, you've had your fun," he whispered. "Now it's time to give my friend's stuff back."

Sora turned the glasses over in his fingers, lifting them up and pressing them just over Roxas' eyes, just enough to where he could see him watching. When Roxas averted his gaze, Sora's brows furrowed. He held up the glasses again. "You want them?" he asked. Roxas nodded. Sora turned and flung them as far into the sea as they would go. "Then get them," he said.

Riku pushed Roxas away from Hayner as the boy howled his name behind. Roxas felt the end of the ladder. Below him was nothing but churning, dark blue. He cringed in terror, wishing that a miracle would fall upon him and he would be able to see.

"Jump!" Riku boomed in his ear. Roxas scrambled and leapt off the pier, shutting his eyes as he fell into nothingness. When he burst into ice cold water and pulled up for air, he gasped in a shocked breath and paddled around in stupor, lost for what direction to go. When he cut his palm on a barnacle ridden rock at his side, he yelped and cowered back, churned back and forth by the strong current.

"Shit, he almost hit the ladder," Kairi hissed with gritted teeth at Xion's side.

"Hey, I see them, they're to your left, they're floating!" Sora called. Roxas nodded and paddled into nothingness, feeling water gush down his throat as another wave hit him. He reached out his palm and slammed it through the water, panic rising and making it hard for him to breath. Everyone on the pier laughed and shouted out different directions.

"Left!"

"No, right!"

"Further, further, there, there!"

When their voices were overpowered by the sound of crashing waves, Roxas began to cry. His hand reached out and slipped across something big and slick. He screeched and paddled away as fast as he could, further and further as he reached frantically to and fro, hoping that he would land on sand sometime. But the water was getting colder. The waves were stronger.

"Hey, stop, turn around, you're going too far," called a nasal voice.

"Aw, let him swim," cooed another at its side. It sounded like the redhead's girlfriend. When she cackled, the nasal voice responded, "nah, nah, it doesn't matter anymore, just bring him in."

Roxas continued paddling, on and on. As the blue surrounding deepened, a shadow fell overhead. Suddenly, a wave crashed upon him and sucked him under. He rotated like a spinning top, coming up for air just as a stronger wave smashed him under again. He swallowed more water, coughing and spluttering, seeing stars as he begged himself to hold his breath a little longer. When he escaped a third swell and came up, he gasped and coughed. Then, another slammed against him and dragged him out.

In his periphery he could hear screaming voices. When he was sucked beneath the water again, there was a distant tap, like a penny landing at the bottom of a tub. Roxas' eyes fluttered closed. He wept beneath the waves. Here he was so far beneath the water that the swells couldn't reach him. Maybe this was what he got for messing with Cloud's computer. This was his punishment. He pulled out further and further.

Suddenly, two strong arms clasped around his waist. He was lifted up. As he reached the surface, something pumped and rubbed his back.

"Hey, I've got you," called a voice above, attached to a warm, blushing body. Roxas could feel the pump of the heart in his chest and the hum of his voice as he explained what they would do next.

"We're gonna swim parallel to the shore, okay?" the stranger intoned. "I'm putting you closer to the store, you stay at my side, you hear? Can you do freestyle?"

The boy helped Roxas swim under the next wave so it did not throw him further. Roxas nodded and sputtered to his side.

"Okay, let's go!"

Roxas paddled slowly, feeling the boy's body expand and contract at his side. Soon they swam in a rhythm. When the current diminished, the boy told him to swim diagonal to the shore, keeping by his side as usual. They continued forward, onward and onward until the waves drew gentle and the water warmed. Soon, Roxas saw a swath of beige ahead. He choked and sniffed. His companion rubbed his back. Then he told him to put his feet down. Roxas did. Sweet, warm dunes of sand kissed his toes. Collapsing in on himself, he clutched his hands to his face and wept. The body hovering at his side watched him. Roxas could feel him shuffling in the water.

"Hey," the stranger started, but Roxas gagged and gulped that he was going to be sick. The boy beside him rushed him to the sand and stayed at his side as he retched against the rocks nearby. When Roxas finished, he collapsed face down and massaged his stomach with a groan. A hand reached out and rubbed his back.

"Did you spy on my friend Lea while he was kissing his girlfriend?" the boy attached asked. Sora. Roxas froze and began shaking, sobbing into the sand and begging Sora not to make him go in the water again. He had pissed himself. He could feel it running between his legs. Thank god the tide was puttering around his hips and carrying it away unseen.

"Why did you do that?" Sora asked calmly.

"You were chasing me," Roxas cried. "I hid in the clock tower. I thought you were going to make me jump off or something. Then, h-he said that he was g-giving me a show and that if I stayed, you'd be able to jump me for being a p-p-pervert..."

"But you are a pervert," Sora murmured. "You stayed and watched while a random guy got naked. I would have taken a beating over that any day."

Roxas cried harder. He could sense Sora's stare above, feel the hairs of his honey colored thigh as they tickled his side.

"So you're gay, right?" Sora asked. Roxas froze again, not even sure how to answer. Before he could blink, a shadow flickered over him. Sora's inner thighs snuggled against the top of his legs. The brunette's hands dug into the sand on either side of Roxas' ribs. His hips pressed against Roxas' ass. Something pillar-like slid right between his lower cheeks, resting against the fabric of his swim trunks. Roxas went dizzy with shock. A thick pair of lips tickled the back of his right ear lobe.

"So how about I fuck you and call it even?"

Roxas blinked back the stars encroaching his eyes. The situation was ridiculous. Had he drowned?

"What?" Roxas croaked. When Sora began peeling down his swimming shorts, he stopped his hands.

"Stop!" he screeched. He could feel Sora's abdomen move as he laughed.

"C'mon, nobody's around, why not?" Sora cooed, his voice suddenly playful. He reached down and wiped sand from Roxas' back, bending to kiss the nape of his neck. Roxas' heart skipped at the touch of his lips. "How about we do it and I tell everyone to back off, okay?"

By now he had pulled Roxas' trunks right beneath his ass, popped himself from his speedo, and pressed apart Roxas' cheeks. Roxas could feel the tip of his penis prodding against him. His mind went to jello. But when the penis pressed forward, he yelped no. Sora ignored him.

"C'mon, this is hot!" Sora said, edging off as he looked around. "You gotta do something crazy at least once in your life, right? Aren't I probably the best you've ever had?"

"I, but," Roxas started, shimmying to the side and away from Sora's embrace like a baby seal. As Sora slid towards him and turned him on his back, his brain clicked and he kicked him in the balls, roaring, "off!" at the top of his voice. Sora cursed and clutched himself, wincing and asking what the fuck Roxas' problem was.

"You're a peeping tom and a fucking sexual assaulter!" he snarled.

"You- you stay away from me!" Roxas warbled, gritting his teeth and shouting, "or I'll get my older brothers to beat the shit out of you!"

"What, are your brothers part of a fucking _gang_ or something?" Sora spat.

"Yeah!" Roxas squeaked. He hiked up his trunks and scrambled away in terror. The tan blur behind him sat without moving. Then it stood, crunched along broken shells to his side, and leant close to his ear. "Tell a soul what happened today and I will make you wish you were never born." With that, Sora left Roxas on his own. Roxas curled up and cried till the tide began coming in again. When it did, he scrambled until he traveled from sand and stone to sea grass. He climbed up the incline till he hit a trail, narrowly missing an approaching bike. He waited by the roadside for what felt like hours, until Pence's family finally found him and took him back to the car. He stared into the seat ahead on the way home while Pence and Hayner played on Pence's nintendo. When they asked what happened, he said Sora swam him to shore and dropped him off. He kept his mouth shut about everything else.

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 **A/N: Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW!**


	5. Aid to the Doomed

**A/N: Thanks, ForsakenXIII, but what do you mean by incognito? :DD Orchestra of Order, welcome, and thanks for the review! Poor Roxas indeed. He's a real sweetie in this fic, you just want to scoop him up and give him a bear hug.**

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 ** _Five: Aid to the Doomed_**

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Roxas was exhausted when he got home, but his spirits had improved. Pence's family took everyone out for dinner as an apology for what happened. Then they gave Roxas sixty dollars to help pay for a new pair of glasses. Roxas had never seen so much money in his life. When they passed Hayner's apartment, Hayner's mother charged out and handed him a crumpled fifty, kissing his head and telling him she was sorry as well. When Pence's car pulled before the shop garage, Cid was waiting for him, puffy eyed and livid.

"You okay, Rox?" he sniffed, breath vile from smoking. Roxas hugged him and patted his back, saying that he was fine.

"He lost his glasses," Pence's mother said. Cid sighed and muttered that they'd get him a new pair. Roxas emptied out of the car and wobbled to Cid's side, clutching his hand as he blinked around at nothing. Pence heaped Roxas' stuff into his arms. Then he said goodbye and the car pulled down the road, leaving Roxas' family on its own before the porch. Cid scoffed and spit where it had stood, muttering about Pence's parents not giving a shit.

"We were just exploring," Roxas said softly.

"Why didn't those fuckin' friends of yours tell ya ye were goin' into deep water?" Cid spat. "Why'd ye take those damn glasses off?"

"I-" Roxas started, faltering. Then he shouted for Cid to leave him alone and rushed forward, colliding headfirst with a mysterious, oily smelling chest. When two strong hands clutched his shoulders, he cowered and shook.

"Ventus?" he asked, feeling the arms in hesitation as if they would sprout claws and dig into him. "Ventus?" he screeched. "Cloud?"

"I'm right here, fuckwad," Ventus called from a distance, coming towards him. Who was holding him?

"Get off!" Roxas shrieked, shoving backwards and toppling over. The voice belonging to the arms snickered. "I was just trying to make sure he didn't run into the engine," Vanitas crooned as Ventus rushed past. Ventus grabbed Roxas by the hair and hurried him through the shop door to the staircase leading to the bedrooms, bathroom, and kitchen. When Roxas screamed at full volume and pitch and lashed out, Ventus cinched him under his arm and prepared to punch him.

"Ventus, stop!" called a voice at the top of the stairs. Ventus froze. Roxas blinked up. There was a dark patch in the bedroom hall, offset by what looked like a glowing, golden crown.

"I need to talk to Roxas," the figure said ominously. Roxas' heart plummeted through his ribs. Ventus let him go and shoved him up, making him trip on the stair bottom. The shop door slammed. Roxas clambered to standing and clamped his arms close to his sides, looking up in terror. The black spot remained where it stood. It cleared its throat.

"Roxas?" it asked. "Were you on my computer?"

Roxas opened and closed his mouth, searching in vain for an answer. When he found none, his shoulders shook and he began sobbing.

"I'm sorry," he croaked, weeping and snotting down his shirt. The black spot faltered above. When it slipped towards him, Roxas scrambled, tripped around him, and went for the bathroom, wailing that he wanted to kill himself.

"Oh, fuck, no," Cloud said suddenly, catching the door with his foot before Roxas could lock himself in. As Roxas cowered by the tub and told Cloud to leave him alone, Cloud faltered through nonsense syllables.

"Nobody loves me," Roxas wept on the toilet seat. "Everyone's gonna beat me up when I go to school and Hayner and Pence will stop being friends with me and Cid will disown me and I'll have to give blowjobs for money-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Cloud faltered, surrendering and kneeling by Roxas' side, clapping his hands around the boy's wrists. "Roxas," he whispered. A haze of white replaced his smile.

"Why don't you explain slowly why you feel the way you do," he whispered. "I'll listen to the whole thing and I won't say a word."

Roxas hesitated, asking if Cloud was sure. Cloud insisted that he was. Roxas nodded in surprise. Then, he coughed, starting that he was being bullied by a boy named Sora. Within ten minutes, he was spewing and sobbing his whole life story, including all his dreams, nightmares, and insecurities bar his weird experience with Vanitas in his bedroom, up to a feverishly detailed account of the last few days that made Cloud cringe and grit his teeth. Regardless, he listened without saying a word. When Roxas was so tired he swayed to the side, Cloud caught him, wiped down his face with cold water, and brought him to his room and sat him on his bed. When he opened the window he reeled, asking, "Why the fuck do you have bars on your window?"

"So Ventus can't come in and kill me," Roxas croaked. Cloud huffed and forced open the pane as far as it would go, peeking past the bars in silence. Then, bolstered by some unforeseen force, he sauntered to Roxas' side and plopped down, smiling again.

"Say," he whispered. "I never got you a birthday present, did I?"

Roxas froze. Then he gave a bashful shake of his head. Cloud clapped him on the back.

"How about I take you for a brother's day out, tomorrow?" he asked. "My friend Leon is in town. It'll be like the three caballeros. We'll get you new glasses first, and then we can go shopping. I'll take you to lunch and buy you some new duds so you feel good starting school in August, how's that sound?"

"Sounds good," Roxas sniffed. Cloud clapped him on the back.

"And if we meet that little shit for brains Sora on the way," he chirped, "I will personally shove that smug grin of his down his throat."

"Mother trucker," Roxas giggled in glee. Cloud rubbed his back again. Then, biting his lip, he asked if Roxas was okay on his own tonight. "If you're feeling really lost, you probably need someone watching your back," he added. "I hope you don't mind me tailing around after you."

"That's fine," Roxas fired without thought, giddy with glee. "Can- can I sleep with you, then?"

Cloud wrinkled his nose at the idea, relieved that Roxas was too nearsighted to see it. In the end, he caved and said yes. That night Roxas watched, enraptured, as Cloud, a sparkling golden blur, got ready for bed. The man had been playing football with his friends and helping out in the shop all day, so he decided to have a shower. He sang and scrubbed himself down as Roxas brushed his teeth. When he got out, he toweled down, shook his hair like a dog, and threw on a pair of loose boxers. He brushed his teeth with an electric toothbrush and flossed with a water pick. Then he smeared his face with moisturizer, rinsed with mouthwash, brushed his hair, shook it again, and disappeared for the bedroom.

"Can I use your water pick and electric brush?" Roxas asked, feeling their plastic frames in wonder.

"Wait, well... yeah, just use a different head and wipe the water pick off when you're done," called Cloud from Roxas' bedroom. Roxas grinned and slathered an extra electric toothbrush head with an obscene amount of toothpaste, reveling in the battering sound it made as it glided across his teeth. He used the water pick and wiped it down. Then he smeared himself with Cloud's moisturizer and rinsed with his mouthwash. When he plodded into his bedroom, Cloud was sitting on the covers reading. When he saw Roxas, he glowered.

"Did you use my moisturizer without asking?" he asked. Roxas blinked at him in terror, sensing his anger but not seeing it for his abysmal vision. Cloud rolled his eyes and slipped to his side, surprising Roxas when he smeared the excess down the boy's neck and across his chest.

"You used way too much," Cloud grumbled. Suddenly he stopped and stepped back. Roxas asked what was wrong. Cloud's shoulders bobbed up and down.

"Just noticed how handsome you are," he murmured, chuckling, "though you inherited the worst of the Highwind blush."

"I hate it," Roxas hissed, smoothing down his cheeks. But Cloud stopped him.

"Don't hate it, Roxas. It's what makes you special. It suits you."

"Really?" Roxas breathed.

"Yeah," Cloud responded, plopping back onto the bed. "I used to hate my hair. Then a girl said she loved it and I realized it wasn't so bad. Though it shouldn't take someone else telling you something is good about you for you to accept it."

"Well, people said my blush looked like acne," Roxas murmured.

"Fuck 'em," Cloud snarled. "Wait, not literally. Not that kid Sora. Kick that little shit to the curb, he doesn't deserve you."

"He's pretty hot," Roxas said shyly. "Maybe I should've taken him up on his offer. He said he was probably the best I'd ever have."

"Fuck that," Cloud snorted. "You're gonna look like a supermodel by the time I'm done with you. No boy will be able to resist you."

Roxas giggled and jumped to his brother's side, eclipsing him in a harsh, wrestling hug. Cloud laughed and batted him away. When reading became a struggle, he whacked Roxas and told him to go to sleep or he was sending him to the couch. Roxas complied, snuggling beneath the covers and against Cloud's side.

"You're sure you want to take me shopping tomorrow?" Roxas gulped.

"Absolutely," Cloud said with vigor. "You be up bright and early."

"I will," Roxas whispered, nuzzling Cloud's hip as his eyes began to droop. Soon, he was fast asleep.

•∞•

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 **A/N: Aw, sweet Cloud! Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW!**


	6. Glory of the King's Hand

**A/N: Forsaken lol you _can_ say it, but is it the hero gotham needs right now? (lol just ignore that...)**

 **Enjoy, everyone! It's nice to see Roxas not being tortured lol.**

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•∞•

 ** _Six: Glory of the King's Hand_**

•∞•

Roxas walked around the mall like a new man, feeling practically naked without glasses or long hair. Cloud had taken him to an optometrist in Disney City. Unlike Twilight Town, they had a plethora of prescriptions in stock. It meant his new glass lenses were present and ready to be shaped for his frames. Until they were finished, he would be given contacts. The doctor showed him how to put them in. It took an hour and a great deal of frustrated and terrified tears before they settled right. But after twenty four hours of darkness, he could finally see, and for the first time in twelve years, his face was unencumbered by massive frames. After getting his glasses sorted, Cloud took him to the largest mall in the region. Leon met them in the parking lot. Roxas immediately fell in love with him.

He had deep, sparkling blue eyes, furrowed brows, long curly lashes, chin length, chocolate brown hair split down the middle, and a bad case of resting bitch face, but when he smiled or laughed, he lit up the whole mall. He'd run his fingers through his tresses and shake his head to the sky like a drying dog every once in a while. Roxas held his breath whenever he did.

Cloud bought Roxas an electric toothbrush, water pick, moisturizer, facial cleanser, hair gel for when it grew out, some outfits, and workout clothes. Roxas bought himself new shoes and headphones. Leon bought him a football and cleats. On behalf of Cid, he got a new phone. By the time they were on their way home, he was in ecstasy. Leon was teaching him how to download music illegally off the internet and Cloud was singing out loud to Alicia Keys.

"Maybe Cloud could take you for a go on his motorcycle, sometime," Leon bellowed. Roxas whipped towards Cloud with puppy dog eyes, making his older brother scoff and shoot Leon a nasty glance. Leon held his hands up in amused surrender, winking at Roxas from the passenger seat. Roxas giggled and hid his gaping mouth behind his hands, blissful beyond belief.

"You have a skateboard, Rox?" Leon asked. Roxas shook his head. Leon gasped, donning a grim glance. "Every kid should have a board. I've got an old one that you can use for the time being, it's at my old man's house."

As they drew closer to Twilight Town, Roxas tapped Cloud's shoulder and tried slipping him a twenty dollar bill, the last of his birthday stash. "Here's recompense for that stuff of yours I used," he mumbled in humiliation, ducking his head as Leon whipped around in curiosity.

"What stuff?" Leon blurted out. Cloud gave him a meaningful glance. Leon didn't catch it.

"What, is this secret brother stuff?" he complained. Cloud scowled in irritation, snapping that it was KY jelly. Leon's mouth dropped. Roxas ducked and sniffled. Leon blushed in embarrassment. Then he burst into laughter.

"What the fuck, Leon?" Cloud barked, shoving him in the arm. Leon shrugged, saying that he just remembered Cloud's first foray into lube. Cloud blinked in confusion. Then his eyes widened and he groaned. Roxas perked up in his seat, curiosity ebbing his self consciousness. The infamous Highwind blush burst across Cloud's cheeks as well, crawling down his neck in little tendrils. Roxas beamed when he saw that he had it, too.

"Do you want to hear it, Roxas?" Cloud asked. Roxas nearly gave himself whiplash he nodded so hard.

"Well I had just started... you know, but it hurt to pump so I was looking around the bathroom for stuff to put on it."

Leon was already crying between fits of laughter. Cloud muttered for him to shut up, punching him in the arm again. Then he continued, "but all I could find was lavender hand soap, so I squeezed some on and I started beating one out- Leon, CALM THE FUCK DOWN."

Leon waved his hand in apology and continued snickering under his breath. Cloud sighed, snorting in amusement himself. Then he finished, "well, you know when you were four and mom woke everyone up in the middle of the night because she said I was having a urinary tract infection?"

"Yeah?"

"It was just an allergic reaction to the hand soap."

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Leon howled, receiving a third and final punch to the arm from the driver. Roxas beamed and laughed as well, feeling like part of the pack. When the trio passed the garage, Roxas frowned and asked where they were going. Leon and Cloud smirked at each other.

"Cid kept complaining about how you're always playing Yu-Gi-Oh in alleys," Cloud drawled. "And since you're constantly whining about being skinny, I thought I'd show you what Leon and I do for exercise..."

They were going towards a football field. Roxas' stomach dropped as he realized it was the one the varsity team practiced on during the summer. As Cloud parked and got out, Leon told Roxas to put on his new shorts and jersey. Roxas groaned but complied, changing in the backseat as Leon and Cloud tore their clothes off right in the parking lot. As they slipped into shorts and tied on battered cleats, they talked about their girlfriends. Roxas listened in wonder as they complained. Then, he asked Cloud to put on his new cleats.

"Now, they're gonna suck for a while, Rox, cause you gotta break them in," Cloud warned, lacing them up. "But no pain, no gain, okay?"

"Okay," Roxas muttered.

"You and I are coming out here every day. Best way to get a bit of confidence is gaining a new skill. Anyone can play ball, you just gotta dedicate yourself to it."

Roxas grimaced. He didn't like the sound of "dedicate," especially in relation to a team sport. Cloud clapped his knees and lifted away from him, waiting for him to empty out before gathering his new soccer ball and shutting and locking the car doors. Then, the three of them sauntered across the pitch together, Leon and Cloud like greek gods with glistening bare backs, and Roxas like their scrawny dog tailing along. When they reached center pitch, they set the ball down.

"Three basic skills of football are dribbling, trapping, and striking. Dribbling is moving with the ball, trapping is receiving the ball, and striking is kicking the ball. You've also gotta build stamina so you can last through a long game without losing energy. First, we stretch. Then we drill. Then we scrimmage."

"Mother trucker," Roxas swallowed. The word made Cloud's face twinge. "Roxas," he pleaded as if injured, "You're killing me with the vanilla cussing. If you want to say motherfucker, just say it."

"But-" Roxas started.

"Well, just say it around me," Cloud insisted. "I can't stand this 'mother trucker' or whatever the fuck you're saying. If you need to cuss, cuss. If you don't, just don't say anything at all."

"Okay," Roxas said in dejection.

"Aw, Cloud you big meanie," Leon purred behind. Cloud shot him another look, kicking the ball towards his face. Leon yelped and head butted it, dribbling it towards one of the goal posts as Cloud barked and soared after him. They moved like blurs. Roxas was surprised to see they were actually pretty good, just as good as any of the kids at school. When Cloud told Roxas to start stretching, he crumpled down and touched his hands to his feet. Cloud and Leon joined him for several more stretches. Then they had him do twenty laps around the field until he was exhausted. After that, he drilled all of the basic skills until he wanted to dig under the ground and disappear forever. Once that onslaught was over, they played two on one, Roxas and Leon versus Cloud. Leon acted as goalie. After thirty minutes, Cloud and Leon switched.

Their patience was staggering. Roxas had never been a sporty kid, and he overthought things to the point of losing sense of where he was, tripping over his feet, landing on the ball, and whacking Cloud in the shins when he kicked blindly. As the sun disappeared and the field fell to darkness, Cloud told Roxas to run around the pitch another five times, and then stretch to cool down. When Roxas tried cheating on the running, Cloud and Leon joined him, forcing him to keep going. The last lap, they walked. While Roxas stretched, Cloud and Leon scrimmaged. Then, when they were good and exhausted, they all traipsed back to the car and rode off. Cloud picked Roxas up some KY jelly from a pharmacy. Then, he asked if Roxas wanted to come for a night swim with he and his friends.

"Can I see if Hayner and Pence want to come?" Roxas breathed in hope. Cloud shrugged and said sure. "Let's drop your stuff home, first."

"If you're inviting everyone else, you should invite Cid and Ven, too," Leon suggested in cleverly veiled warning. Cloud sighed and muttered that he would. When they got home, Leon said hello to Cid, shook Ven's hand, and asked if everyone wanted to come swimming. Ven grew quiet from surprise, but nodded and said he would. Roxas dropped his athletic gear into his closet. Then, everyone traipsed to the car and climbed in the truck bed while Cid drove and Ven sat at his side. They picked up Hayner, but Pence's parents wouldn't let him go out late. So the rest fled to the beach and stayed near the shallows, building a fire, digging a football pitch in the sand, and waiting as all of Cloud's friends arrived. Once everyone was assembled, they played ball and slipped in and out of the waves. Hayner and Roxas listened as Cid talked about his childhood in Radiant Garden. Ventus wandered down the beach alone. Cloud sat arm in arm with his girlfriend Tifa, the lady with the long black hair in his laptop's background photo. Cloud's youngest friend, Yuffie, cooed over how cute Roxas was in his new clothes. He asked Leon if his arms were getting any bigger. Leon shrugged and propped up Roxas' elbow, pressing his thumb and forefinger around the boy's bicep and tricep to gauge. Roxas hoped he would pinch him forever. Instead Leon let go and clapped him on the back, saying he had a little ways to go but that he was coming along nicely. After joining in a game of beach ball, Cid disappeared into the truck and brought out a cake, having everyone sing happy birthday. Roxas beamed in ecstasy as Cloud's friends gave him money. Ventus watched the exchange without expression from the shadows, eyes glinting amber in the reflection of the fire.

As Roxas drove home at Cloud's side, he decided it was the best birthday of his life. Even as he heard Ventus and Cid argue from the front seat, he sighed in contentment, hoping Cloud would stay home and stay the same as he was today forever.

•∞•

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 **A/N: Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW!**


	7. Invigoration

**A/N: Forsaken, who else am I hinting at? Leon? Cloud? As of right now, this is not an incest story, so... don't expect them to get together any time soon...**

 **Ima, hello! And isn't Cloud the coolest? I just shook my head as I wrote last chapter like... damn. I need a Cloud to take me on a shopping spree, too!**

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•∞•

 **Seven: Invigoration**

•∞•

"Hi, my name is Sora," Leon greeted. "Now, punch me."

Roxas stood in the middle of the football pitch he, Cloud, and Leon inhabited on a regular basis with his hands raised in fists on either side of his face. When he went for Leon's head, the man ducked and whacked him in the ear, making him stomp his foot in displeasure. Cloud lounged in the grass on the sideline reading some book called Catch-22, chuckling every once in a while. Roxas liked how Cloud read a lot. He had made Roxas renew his library card and forced him into promising that he would not use it to check out Yu-Gi-Oh guides or comics unless they had an artistic or education purpose. The first day they went together, his older brother suggested titles to him. Cloud had started reading Catch-22, while Roxas finished Frankenstein and tried moving onto The Awakening, until Cloud switched it out for The Three Musketeers. After the library they'd gone to the beach again. Then, they returned to the pitch.

They'd already played ball for two hours. Now they'd moved onto martial arts, Leon's attempt at teaching Roxas self protection in case Sora bothered him again. It proved another skill Roxas was slow to learn. Despite being four weeks into his brotherly bootcamp with the two men, he didn't feel like he was improving much. They were still miles better than him at everything they chose to do. But for some reason, they remained interested to the point where he actually felt like they were growing fond of him.

"Drill him," Cloud suggested. Leon nodded and did so for another thirty minutes. Then the trio picked up scrimmaging with Cloud on goal and Leon slipping around Roxas' fumbling feet with lightning clips. As Roxas tried blocking his path, the man jumped over him, making the boy fumble and fall in his attempt to catch him. When Leon went for a score, Roxas swept forward and dove, pinging the ball left field, away from the posts. Cloud screamed in delight.

"Fuck, yeah, Roxas, that's what I'm talking about!"

Roxas stood and grinned from ear to ear, his Highwind blush exploding across his cheeks and down his neck as usual. Leon scowled and puttered away to find the ball. In manic excitement Roxas tore forward and tackled Cloud down, engaging him in a spirited bout of wrestling. When he tried pinning Cloud with a judo move the man had taught him, Cloud put him in a chokehold. Roxas sputtered and swerved away, but it was too late.

"Say uncle," Cloud grinned.

"GhbunAAGA," Roxas garbled with watering eyes and puffed out lips, fumbling forward on his face as Cloud let him go. As he massaged his neck and groaned into the grass, Cloud sat back on his elbows and glanced around.

"Leon!" he boomed. "Where the fuck are you?"

"Here," Leon said, dribbling the ball as he gazed over his shoulder.

"What are you looking at?" Cloud asked, swiveling his body in the direction of the brunet's stare. When he met the eyes of a couple kids in uniforms dragging a bag of footballs, markers, and other random crap towards them, he huffed and scowled.

"Looks like we may have to relocate," he muttered. Leon winked and said he'd check. He jogged over to a man with John Lennon shades, gelled black hair, and a red jersey and asked if they were in their spot. The man spoke with him in hushed tones. Leon thanked him and jogged back, grinning.

"He says we're fine," he chirped. "They're using the two fields parallel to the car park. We've got both back fields to ourselves."

Roxas gulped and glanced towards the incoming crowd in discomfort. They were club teams that ran through the summer, but they were basically a mashup of Twilight High and Radiant Garden High's male and female varsity teams. Yuffie was even on one of them. When she saw Cloud, she jumped with glee and waved to him, shouting "Squalllll!" when she laid eyes on Leon.

"Aw, come on," Leon said in dejection, wincing at the name as she repeated it. Roxas giggled and stood. If Yuffie was out here, maybe everything wouldn't turn out so bad. His feelings changed again when he met eyes with a glowering, honey colored brunet, though. Sora granted him the foulest gaze he had ever seen, even worse than Ventus' grimaces. He jolted when Cloud patted him on the back.

"Come on, Roxas," he insisted with a soft smile. "Forget them. Let's keep practicing. Maybe we can get Yuffie to play along after she's finished."

"Y-yeah," Roxas gulped. For the next two hours, every bit of progress he had made in the past few weeks flew out the window. He stumbled, kicked, and tripped his way through heavy laughter from the benches of the club teams. Cloud and Leon glanced to each other in disgust as the kids whispered and pointed. But they treated Roxas like a king, pushing him and drilling him till he moved with a bit more confidence. It was only when Yuffie hurried over and he thought that the club teams were dispersing that he returned to his old self. With four people, the game was actually fun, but he felt more like a deadweight than an actual member. When he slithered past Cloud and aimed a score, though, Yuffie cheered in glee and Leon whooped as he narrowly caught the ball.

"Wow, Roxas!" she cried. "Leon and Cloud have taught you well. You know Leon's the one who got me to join Radiant Garden's team?" she grinned, nudging him in the shoulder. He blushed and shook his head, mussing up her hair. "I practiced with this little one from the time she was in diapers," he sighed. Yuffie grinned and jumped on his back, making him yelp in protest as she flipped his middle part to the side and kissed his head. As Roxas watched in contentment and Cloud disappeared for the ball, though, a voice railed up behind them. When Roxas turned, he sucked in a breath and held it.

Sora was trudging towards him, slick with sweat, sunscreen, and a smolder that would melt an ice cap. Riku, Xion, and Kairi hung near a convertible nearby, trying not to look like they were watching. When Sora reached Roxas' side, he cocked his head and asked why he was playing ball on his own. Roxas furrowed his brows in confusion.

"I'm Roxas' brother, Cloud," Cloud snarled, shoving his hand forward for Sora to take. The boy blinked up at him in shock and to Roxas' delight, intimidation, taking his hand slowly and wincing at the man's strength as he shook it.

"I'm Leon," Leon grinned. "Used to play ball for Radiant High. Played in college for Balamb Garden."

"Squall Leonhart," Sora parroted. "I studied your plays a lot when I was a freshman."

"Really?" Leon chirped, chuffed. Cloud stared at him like he was a traitor. Leon blubbered and resumed a stately nod.

"Are you training Roxas, or something?" Sora asked, trying with all his might to keep a sneer from his voice.

"Just enjoying the summer," Leon replied. "Football's a great skill to have."

"...Yeah," Sora muttered, glancing to Roxas again. "Why didn't you ever bother joining a club team or something?"

"I... I just started," Roxas gulped. Sora scoffed.

"You mean after the beach?"

Cloud pulled up and put his hand on Roxas' shoulder. "We've been playing for six weeks," he said flatly. Sora counted the time the same pace as Roxas. Six weeks meant a week before Cloud actually arrived. It was a bold faced lie, but Roxas snuggled into it with the same vigor he had snuggled into everything else Cloud roped him into over the past month. Sora's shoulders sagged with an intriguing disappointment. Roxas blinked down in anxiety. Sora looked him up and down. Then he split into a sparkling grin.

"You're not wearing glasses," he murmured.

"I got contacts," Roxas responded under his breath.

"Nice look," Sora chirped. Roxas broke under a grin, collapsing his shoulders and trying not to sigh his mouth open. Sora's eyes narrowed.

"And your hair's growing back."

"Yeah... I might cut it again..."

"Well, either way, it looks good," Sora responded. "It's getting really... gold."

"It's the sun," Roxas cooed like a baby bird. Sora burst into a laugh that melted over Roxas like raindrops. Roxas found himself faltering, shuffling from foot to foot as he scratched behind his head. Sora stared at the gesture with an odd glance.

"I'm sorry for what I said on the beach," he explained. "I disrespected you. I'm sorry for taking you out too far. I hope you can forgive me."

"Oh?" Roxas gasped in shock, giggling without helping it. When he saw Cloud's expression he reeled himself in, muttering that Sora should treat people with respect even if he didn't think they were worth his time.

"And sometimes your idea of fun may... may be really upsetting for someone else," Roxas wavered. "... Someone who you think is guilty of something, you may just be... projecting something on them, or not trust them because you think you know the person who told you a slightly untrue version a little better."

"Lea's not a liar," Sora hissed.

"I- I know that..." Roxas insisted. "But... but sometimes the things we think are the truth, aren't. We think we see things that we don't."

"Why are you saying 'we' like me and you are involved?" Sora scoffed. Roxas' shoulders sagged. Cloud's hand squeezed around his arm as he stepped forward.

"Are you guys friends?" he spoke more coldly than Sora ever could. The brunet's temperature visibly dropped as his eyes widened.

"Uh, well..." he faltered. Then he gulped. "We just know each other from school." Changing the subject, he asked if Roxas was planning to join the JV team or something. "You look like you're... you're getting there, skill wise."

Roxas immediately shook his head, muttering that he was just playing around. Sora licked his lips and nodded. Then he shrugged and said that if Roxas ever needed someone to practice with, he should hit him up. Then he asked him to hold out his arm. Roxas blinked up at Cloud in worry. Cloud remained expressionless save for furrowed brows. In the pause, Sora snatched Roxas' hand and scribbled a phone number along his wrist. Then he muttered to call him.

"Just don't go handing it around to thistle head and sausage boy or any of your other weirdo buddies," he added under his breath, just quiet enough so that only Roxas could hear it. Roxas blinked down at the ink scrawls in awe as Sora trudged across the field.

"See ya, Yuffie!" the brunet shouted with a blistering smile and laugh. Yuffie grinned and said goodbye as well. Cloud stared after the boy with a killing glance. Sora traipsed towards the convertible seating his three friends, glancing behind him one more time. When he was sure Roxas was watching, he pulled his shirt over his head in a slow burn and shook out his dripping hair, the muscles of his tan back rippling and tugging under the pull of his hand as he massaged his neck. Cloud and Leon watched Roxas like a hawk as he ogled the boy. Soon Sora was in the convertible scarfing down Kairi's neck as she drove. Xion and Riku sat in the back. When the vehicle disappeared down the road, Cloud scowled and spit, muttering that it was time to go home.

"Do you know that kid?" Leon asked Yuffie, who had stayed behind, dribbling in the background.

"You mean Sora?" Yuffie chirped. Leon nodded.

"He's the star striker for Twilight Town High. He's breaking insane records."

"Who's the girl?" Cloud shot back.

"His girlfriend," Yuffie said. "They've been buds since they were in diapers."

"Mhm," Cloud muttered. "Charming."

"He is!" Yuffie giggled. "He's a bit of a wild child, though. You should see him at some of the parties the team hosts. I think he's trying to paint an image for himself. He's so talented but so young, you know?"

"Poor him," Cloud sneered. Then he called for Roxas to come along. When he glanced around for the boy, he was jogging around the field. Cloud softened as he watched him, joining in for the last few laps.

"You starting to like these warm downs?" the man asked. Roxas shrugged, muttering that running helped him think. When they settled down for stretches, Leon and Yuffie joined in as well.

"Yuff, do you need a ride home?" asked Leon. Yuffie shrugged and said a ride home didn't hurt anybody. Leon sighed and asked Cloud if it was okay. Cloud shrugged and acquiesced. Yuffie cheered. On the way home in the car, she asked Roxas about his hobbies.

"I really like Yu-Gi-Oh," Roxas said shyly. Yuffie grinned and clapped him on the back.

"I loved Yu-Gi-Oh! Kaiba was my man."

Roxas wrinkled his nose, muttering that he always preferred Yugi.

"I liked Pegasus," Cloud cut in. Roxas blinked in surprise as Yuffie cackled. "Of freaking course you liked Pegasus, Cloud. What a cop out."

"I liked Yugi's friend," chirped Leon. "The blond who kept losing."

"Aw- your twin," Yuffie cooed, ruffling Leon's hair. Cloud laughed as they barked at each other. Roxas examined their banter with glee, missing Hayner and Pence. When they reached the garage, Leon grabbed his car and took Yuffie. Just as he prepared to pull out, though, Cid barreled onto the porch and asked if they all wanted to stay for dinner. Cloud groaned, but Yuffie and Leon said they'd love to. As Cid brought the two inside, Cloud stayed out with Roxas and leaned against the hood of his truck. For a moment he pursed his lips, lost for words. Then he glanced at his shoes.

"Roxas?" he murmured. Roxas glanced up at him guiltily, knowing what was coming.

"Do you like Sora?" Cloud asked.

"N-no..."

"I don't mean do you get along with him, I mean do you have a crush on him," Cloud intoned. Roxas' shoulders sagged. Cloud sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"He's no good, you know," he murmured. "I hate, hate, and I mean hate to say something like this to you- but he's just playing you. I've seen it before because I've done it before. He's a tease. And if he's the type of kid I think he might be, he's just experimenting, and I don't want you to be on the receiving end of that."

"But he said-"

"Roxas, what he said about the 'best ever' bullshit is what it sounds like- bullshit," Cloud spat. "In twenty years, he's gonna be some fat fuck sitting on his front porch, alone, wishing for the good ol' days when he was the star striker of Dickwad High or whatever the fuck people are plying him with right now."

"But what if he becomes a prof-"

"Then he's gonna dump that sweetheart of his like everyone else who's treated him special, and he's gonna hop off and move somewhere luxurious like fucking Daybreak or Disney City and he's gonna buy a beach house in Destiny Islands, and he's gonna marry some instagram model and cheat on her between games. He's a piece of shit, Roxas."

Roxas blinked up at Cloud in surprise, watching as he cooled himself down with a swipe over his hair.

"I just... fuck, I can smell the disease off him," he snarled. "You meet guys like that all the time. I mean, Ventus, prime example."

"Ventus?" Roxas breathed. Roxas had been so young when Ventus was in high school that he didn't remember any of it at all. Not that Ventus was the type to share.

"He was star striker, too," Cloud explained. "Partied like a fucking idiot. Got caught with E at school, was kicked off the team, broke his fucking ankle or something, and now all he does is whine about how fucked up his life is and how his dreams went down the toilet. I bet you, nine out of ten, same damn thing."

"And I see a kid like you- a smart kid, a kid with potential, a kind kid who really cares about how others feel and treats them right despite how they treat him- and it just makes me crazy when you sell yourself short. You wanna fuck around and experiment? Go you. You deserve way better, but if you're that desperate, go you. You're so young you don't have a clue what's waiting for you out there. But if he led you into a fucking riptide and decided to save you because he felt bad about you drowning, and then said that absolute coercive bullshit about... I can't imagine what he'd do if... I just don't like it, Roxas. I think he's really bad news. I really don't like him."

"Okay," Roxas said, chuffed at how concerned Cloud was. As Cid bellowed for them to come inside, Cloud rubbed his back.

"Roxas, can I show you something before we head to dinner?" he asked. Roxas had to hold himself back from screaming, "yes!" Instead he nodded and bit back a grin. Cloud led him up to his bedroom, where a package was sitting on the covers. Roxas waited in the middle of the room as Cloud got it.

"I know, I know, I've been spending way too much money on you these past few weeks..." he started.

"That's fine," Roxas chirped.

"But..." Cloud trailed off and shoved the package into Roxas' hands. When the boy opened the wrapping, he saw that it was a drawing tablet.

"This is what I do for a living," Cloud explained. "Design. I loved these things when I was in college. This one's just a cheapo beginner thing, but it's the start of another skill you can build. Another piece of confidence."

"Gee, Cloud," Roxas whispered, running his fingers over the tablet's box in worship. "I don't know how to thank you..."

"Don't," Cloud insisted. "I know I've been out of your life for a long time... but now I know what a great kid you are. I'll try to stick around when I can."

Suddenly, a vicious rapping descended across Roxas' door. Ventus stuck his head in without ceremony.

"Hey, butt buddies," he snarled, "Incest isn't legal in Twilight Town, yet, so you might want to come down before Cid calls the fucking cops..." Then, he was gone. Cloud snorted and shook his head. Roxas blinked towards the door in worry, wondering how Ventus would act after Cloud was gone.

"Jealous fucking prick," Cloud muttered, hoisting himself off the bed and settling his stuff together on Roxas' desk.

"How's he jealous?" Roxas asked. Ventus had kept blissfully clear of Roxas ever since Cloud showed up, but he carried with him a consistent, deepening ball of darkness that made him lash out every time someone shot him a kind word. The looks he gave Roxas the few times they did chance to meet were downright murderous.

"Ventus has this idea that everyone betrayed him and left him to rot after he got kicked off the high school football team," Cloud explained. "Truth is, he turned fifteen and went batshit fucking crazy so nobody wanted to be around him anymore. He was angry all the time."

"Is he jealous that you're spending so much time with me and buying me stuff?" asked Roxas.

"I mean, yeah," responded Cloud. "But you're the baby, he's a twenty fucking five year old man, he needs to fucking get his life together and grow up. He's the fucking eldest, he should've been taking me to the mall when we were younger, only for that we're a year apart. I don't know. Honestly? I can't fucking stand him."

"Is he the reason you... left?" asked Roxas.

Cloud grew uncomfortable, rolling his hand behind his neck and biting his lip.

"Ah, Roxas..." he sighed. "There was so much... so much that you wouldn't understand."

"I would!" Roxas insisted, moving to Cloud's side and leaning against him. "I would understand."

Cloud grinned down at him. Then he reached out and mussed up his growing golden hair with a grin.

"You're getting so tan," he chuckled. "The blond highlights in your hair are coming out."

"Yeah," Roxas giggled. Cloud chuckled back. When Roxas asked if his muscles were getting bigger, Cloud told him to stand and twirl. He did.

"You're right on your way, Roxas," Cloud beamed. Then he winked and told Roxas to follow him to dinner. As they opened the door, there was a scuffle and slam. Cloud cursed under his breath. Roxas glanced towards where the bang had come from and winced. Ventus' room. When they went down to dinner, the man was not present. If he was in his room, he didn't tell anyone. Roxas' didn't see a peep of him for the rest of the week.

•∞•

* * *

 **A/N: Thoughts? Tell me in the comments! Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW!**


	8. Relinquished

•∞•

 ** _Eight: Relinquished_**

•∞•

Though Leon had to return home, Cloud stayed in Twilight Town for another four weeks, bonding with Roxas and trying in vain to hold the olive branch out to Ventus. Roxas had no idea how he could possibly take eight weeks off of work, but from what he gathered, Cloud was so high up the ladder that he could just slip around the vacation limitations by working from home. He repeatedly warned Roxas, though, that this would not last forever. Soon, he would be gone, too, and Roxas would be left to fend for himself against the rest of his crazy family and bullies from school. Every once in a while, he stared at the piece of paper he had tacked astride the track pad on the old laptop Cloud had given him. It had Sora's phone number on it. Though he'd transferred it from his skin four weeks ago and even added it to his phone contacts, he'd still never called. Why? One, Cloud would be livid. Two, Roxas had a feeling he'd probably regret it. Instead he ran his fingers over it sometimes, imagining best case scenarios if the boy answered. What would he say, anyway? He had never been good at talking to people. He didn't even know how he made friends with Hayner and Pence, let alone getting Cloud of all people to hang around him for two months. The man had started involving Yuffie in his football practices, and she eventually invited her best friend Rydia, a midfielder who was also a gifted goalie. They'd practice during club on the field beside, and continue when Yuffie and Rydia were dismissed home. Often, Sora and his posse would watch in curiosity as they played, Sora with a glimmer of anxious expectation that burst full flame whenever Roxas met his eye. He even started playing on the separate field with Riku and company after practice, showing off and peeping at Roxas beneath his lashes every once in a while. Cloud's presence kept him away. But Roxas was plagued by the worry that once Cloud was gone, he would pounce, too.

"Would you protect me against a bully you didn't think was a bully?" Roxas asked Yuffie one day as Cloud sat down for a reading break.

"Hell yeah, Roxy," she chirped, slipping the football around Roxas' feet and going for a goal. Rydia blocked it easily, making Yuffie scowl.

"But what if you were really good friends with the guy and it turned out he was being mean to me?"

"Roxy, I already said," Yuffie insisted. "You. Mah. Friend. And friends protect each other. Who's the guy, anyway? I might know him."

"It's-" Roxas started, but Cloud flipped down his copy of _Catch-22_ and shot him a sharp glower.

"Sora," Roxas finished, giggling from nervousness as Cloud scowled. Yuffie's mouth fell open. She gaped as she peeped at the brunet across the field.

"What did he do?" she whispered, eyes pleading. "C'mon, I won't tell a soul."

"Well..."

"Roxas, don't," Cloud intoned.

"His gang chased me out of a convenience store so I hid in the clock tower," Roxas explained. "Then while Xion and Riku searched the top, Lea and Larxene made out under the stairs beneath me and Lea got naked-"

"Oh, mama," Yuffie interjected, making Rydia laugh and blush. When Yuffie winked at her and Roxas stared, Yuffie shrugged and said Rydia had a mean crush on him.

"Do not!" Rydia cried, going scarlet under her dyed green hair. Yuffie laughed, making Roxas grin as he continued, "Well then he said that if I stayed and watched, they could beat me up for being a pervert-"

"And you stayed?" Rydia asked from the goal posts. When Yuffie scoffed, Rydia shrugged and muttered apologies. Roxas said he felt like he had no choice. "After that, they had it out for me and I met Sora on the beach and he stole my glasses and threw them in the ocean-"

"Oh my gosh," Yuffie breathed in horror. "That's awful."

Roxas nodded feverishly, relishing the support. "And I couldn't see, and I swam out so far I got caught in a riptide and he jumped in and got me. And then..." Roxas faltered, remembering what Sora had said about not telling anyone what happened next. "...so now I see him all the time after practice."

"I'm sorry, Roxas," Yuffie sighed, scowling at Sora across the field. "I knew Sora and his friends skulked around like a pack, but I didn't know they were vicious..."

"I guess it's cause we don't go to school with them," Rydia acquiesced to Roxas' surprise. "But they seem so nice in club..."

"Riku's always been kind of cocky," Yuffie said. "I never really cared for Larxene. I don't know about Lea..."

"He's charming!" Rydia cooed. Yuffie scoffed.

"Yeah, but if he's an asshole, charming doesn't cut it!" she explained. "Xion's an odd duck. I think she moved here last year, kind of flew under the radar until Riku started dating her. That was right after Sora and Kairi finally got together, right?"

"I think," Rydia shrugged.

"There are definitely people from the Twilight High team who I can't stand, though," Yuffie sighed. "It's just sad to discover Sora's one of them. He's played football for years, and he's always been such a good kid."

"Maybe stardom's gone to his head," Rydia suggested.

"Maybe he likes you!" Yuffie said to Roxas out of the side of her mouth. Cloud barked in indignation, making her giggle and Roxas blush.

"I don't know, I see him watching you sometimes during practice," Yuffie said. "Ever since you started practicing in the same field as us, he's been showing off like crazy. Kind of getting off his game. It's really ticking off coach. He's asked me about you, you know."

"The coach?" Roxas breathed. Yuffie snorted and said, "no, Roxas, Sora!"

"Really?" Roxas cried in delight. By now Cloud had stood up and put the book down. He was hurrying towards Yuffie and calling Roxas to start drilling with him. Yuffie nodded in oblivion.

"Yeah! Like, 'who's that kid you're always talking to?' 'where's he from?' 'Are you guys friends?' 'Does he have a girlfriend?'"

"Yuffie, stop!" Cloud snapped. "He's a piece of shit, he-"

"Cloud!" Roxas gasped. The confession of what Sora did on the beach parked itself along the tip of Cloud's tongue, caught in his bared lower teeth. Instead of telling Yuffie, he scowled and fired the ball into the goal over Rydia's shoulder, shaking with anger. Yuffie blinked at him in shock. Then she pursed her lips and patted Roxas' shoulder.

"You seem smart, Roxas," she insisted. "Trust your intuition, but trust your self worth, too. If you're attracting Sora's eye, you can attract anyone you want."

"You think?" Roxas beamed.

"Yeah! Just believe in yourself and take things easy," Yuffie chirped. "If you were a girl, I'd tell you there's no rush. Just enjoy the single life!"

"Yeah," Roxas giggled. Cloud softened and told them to keep practicing. When Roxas' gaze kept moving to the gaggle of four remaining in the pitch beside, Cloud snapped for him to pay attention and drilled him so hard his eyes drooped and his legs shook from exhaustion. A car horn beeped far off. When Yuffie snapped to the side, Rydia said that it was her mother. Yuffie shrugged in apology.

"Sorry, guys, I wish I could stay," she sighed. "But I gotta go."

"See you tomorrow, Yuffie," Roxas smiled. Yuffie and Rydia charged across the field, saying a short goodbye to Sora and his friends before reaching the carpark. Once their car drove off and Cloud and Roxas were left alone, Cloud made Roxas run laps. Roxas jogged into it with incredible pep. He got through ten without breaking much of a sweat. After fifteen, they walked two and stretched down. Then Roxas tackled Cloud and wrestled with him again, losing as usual. Crimson cheeked and giddy with grinning, he dragged himself after his older brother and tugged at his arm, asking how his muscles were looking now. When he slipped off his shirt and flexed his arms, Cloud whistled and pinched him on the shoulder, making him laugh and yelp.

"Am I getting taller?" Roxas asked, leaning against Cloud's shoulder. Cloud ruffled his hair.

"You look good, Rox," he insisted. "Just remember what Yuffie said, confidence is more important than anything else."

"Did she say that?" Roxas asked with furrowed brows, wiping the sweat from his brow with his top. When he smelled under the arms, he reeled.

"I think I need to wash my stuff," he muttered, letting it flutter through the air like a kite at his side. As the two of them passed the field Sora and his friends were playing in, a soccer ball sailed their way. Without thinking Roxas jumped up and kicked it back, gaining gasps of delight from Xion and Kairi and a grunt from Riku. When he glanced up, Sora was grinning at him and holding the ball up.

"Wanna play?" Sora asked. Roxas' chest flew up with want. Cloud's firm fist held him down.

"Time to go, Rox," he muttered, leading the boy away. Sora watched him as he went, eyes trailing down Roxas' bare, flushed back.

"But-" Roxas started under his breath, but Cloud steered him firmly towards the car. When they got there, Roxas undid his cleats and aired out his feet, rubbing between them and wincing at the blisters. When Cloud asked him if he wanted to go for ice cream, he nodded with vigor. Without another thought, he hopped in the truck's passenger seat and stared idly from the open window as Cloud started up the engine and rumbled off. The night air was wondrous. They stopped by the familiar Item Shop, picking up two sea salt ice creams and driving with them past the train station. When Roxas asked if they could go up, Cloud sighed but acquiesced. They traipsed up the clocktower steps together, slipping onto the balcony and sitting down side by side. Roxas stared over Twilight Town's horizon as if in a dream. If he'd known looking up gay porn on Cloud's computer would culminate in all of this, he would have done it way earlier.

"You've really improved, Roxas," Cloud said. Roxas blushed and grinned.

"But I've got to go home," Cloud continued. "I'm way over my vacation time. I'll probably be gone before you get up tomorrow."

"What?" Roxas cried in shock, clutching onto Cloud's arm and sniffing back the tears bursting around his eyes. Cloud's gaze remained fixed away.

"I can ask Ventus to practice with you-"

"I don't want to practice with him!"

"Then, you'll have to practice by yourself," Cloud murmured in return. "Or wait for Yuffie and Rydia to practice with you afterwards."

Roxas slumped in defeat, floored by how fast life flipped from one way to the other. Tomorrow, he would be catapulted back to hell. As he pressed his palms over his eyes and began sobbing in silence, Cloud sighed and rubbed his shoulders.

"Who will take me to the field?" Roxas whispered. Cloud bit his lip and rubbed his brows, murmuring that maybe Cid could.

"But Cid works!" Roxas wailed. Cloud winced and sighed, murmuring that he wished things were different.

"I really hate to leave, Roxas," he insisted. "But I've got no choice."

"I know..." Roxas sniffed. The rest of his sea salt ice cream went in dejected silence. After they finished and traipsed back down the stairs, they lumbered into the car and drove back to the shop. Cloud grinned on the way. "You'll be fine," he insisted. "I know you will."

Roxas gritted his teeth, thinking that Cloud believed in him a little too much. When they pulled up to the garage, Ventus was waiting for them. He looked smug beyond belief.

"Heard you're leavin' tomorrow," he sang as Cloud locked the doors and brought Roxas inside. "Roxas won't have anyone to wait on him anymore."

"If you bothered getting to know him," Cloud snapped in reply, "you'd know he's worth it. Isn't that what big brothers are supposed to do?"

"I thought big brothers were supposed to make sure their siblings grew up to be good people," Ventus chirped in response. "Not spoiled brats."

"Roxas is the opposite of spoiled," Cloud returned. "If you'd come out to play with us, you'd see he's been working his ass off."

"I don't remember you invitin' me," Ventus snapped in reply. "Weird."

"You didn't seem like you wanted to come," Cloud returned. Before they could continue, Cid came out and gave Roxas a hearty hug, asking him how practice had gone. Roxas tried to smile and say it had been great. But a lump caught in his throat. Before he could speak, he hiccuped and sobbed. Then, pushing Cid and Ventus aside, he flew through the shop door, charged up the stairs, and burst into his bedroom, collapsing onto his covers and weeping without ebb. When Cid came up and asked if he wanted any dinner, he said no. Instead, he sobbed until he fell asleep. When he woke up, it was the middle of the night. There was no warm body by his side. Cloud's stuff was gone from his desk. Roxas rubbed his eyes and stumbled into the hall, shutting his door behind him and peeking through the bathroom and kitchen in vain. Cid was out on the balcony, smoking again. An empty pack sat forlorn at his side. Roxas blinked in terror and charged down the steps, through the empty shop, and out into the driveway. The truck was gone.

As realization crashed over, Roxas collapsed against the cobblestones and wailed, clutching his arms close to his heart as he grimaced in bitterness. In seconds, there was a second slam and Cid was at his side, sweeping him up and rocking him back and forth.

"I gotcha, kid, don't you worry," he whispered, breath pungent from smoking. "I'm right here."

"He didn't," Roxas hiccuped, shaking like a leaf, "he didn't even say goodbye."

"I know," Cid whispered, rubbing Roxas' shoulders and hoisting him to standing. "I know. Let's get you to bed. You wanna sleep with me, tonight?"

"No," Roxas sobbed. "I want Cloud."

Cid gulped back tears and led Roxas inside. When he brought him up to his room, he asked if the boy wanted to sit on the balcony with him. They sat over the garage together for hours in silence, watching the stars as they twinkled in the sky.

•∞•

It was a bleary morning. Roxas went out on Leon's skateboard for hours, wheeling around town in a dark haze. When three o'clock came, the usual time he and Cloud traveled to the football pitch, he asked Cid if he was free to take him. Cid said no. Roxas called Hayner and Pence to see if they wanted to go. They couldn't. His last resort was Ventus. When he traipsed to the boy's bedroom door boisterous, seething metal music roared inside, along with laughter and the smell of hash. When Roxas knocked, the music turned down, and the portal tore open. Ventus' cherubim beam shone down on Roxas like a hot poker. The boy peeped up at him in fear, noticing Vanitas staring out from his peripheral.

"Spit it out, pipsqueak," Ventus hissed. "Or I'll shut my door in your stupid fuckin' face."

"I was wondering if you could drive me to the football field," Roxas whispered through a gulp. Ventus stared down at him with a smug grin. He looked like he was having the best day of his life. For a moment he feigned indecision, wincing this way and that as he rubbed his hand luxuriantly over his shoulder.

"Gee, I really don't know," he whispered through a wince. "I thought you practiced football with _Cloud_."

"Cloud's not here," Roxas warbled, trying to be strong. "I just need a ride-"

Before he could blink, Vanitas snuck behind him and pulled him into a chokehold, giving him a hard noogie. He laughed as Roxas struggled beneath him. Ventus gave a weak chuckle. Then his smile wiped away and he told Vanitas to leave Roxas alone. Vanitas complied in surprise. The men shared a strange glance. Then Ventus shut the door in Roxas' face and told him to get lost. Roxas stood huffing before the portal in anger. Then, curling his hands into fists, he stomped into his room and picked up his phone, punching in the number Cloud would have killed him if he dialed. The tone carried for ages until a familiar, bubbly brunet's voice answered.

 _Hello?_

"This is Roxas," Roxas said feverishly.

 _Who?_

"You know who I am," Roxas snapped, reeling it in with a deep breath before continuing, "I was wondering if there was any way you could give me a ride to the soccer field today. My brother can't take me but I want to keep practicing. I won't bother you at all, I just-"

"Sure, be ready at four," Sora chirped. Roxas breathed in relief. Before he could say thank you, the phone cut off. With glee he went and gathered his things together, traipsing down the stairs and sending Sora a message saying he would be waiting outside the Item Shop in the tram common. He got there at half past three and waited. And waited. And waited. Hours passed. He texted Sora on repeat, asking where he was. By the time the sun went down, he decided to call him. Nothing. Finally, just as he trudged home, his dial tone sounded. When he picked up the phone, laughter descended in the background. Roxas asked if anyone was there.

 _Hello?_ Sora drawled.

"Sora," Roxas said. "You were supposed to pick me up at four. It's almost nine, now."

 _Oh shit, sorry, dude,_ Sora sighed. _Totally slipped my mind. I'm kind of like you, I only call people back when I need them._

"I'm sorry I didn't call you till now!" Roxas rose his voice, trying not to cry. It was difficult. "I was busy, too!"

 _Well then our schedules probably don't match up, anyway._

"Wait!" Roxas wailed. "I just need someone to drive me in, that's it-"

Before he could protest, Sora hung up. Roxas was left stuttering and cursing outside the Item Shop's clinking glass door, where he hung crying for another hour until Cid texted asking where he was.

•∞•

* * *

 **A/N: Poor Roxas :[ Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW! I LOVE hearing from you! Who's your favorite character so far? Least favorite? Lol!**


	9. Mokey Mokey Smackdown

**A/N: Hey everyone! DO NOT- and I repeat- DO NOT read this chapter until you have gone back and reread chapter 8 because I've ADDED a whole other section to chapter 8 and I don't want you missing it! Sorry, I posted too early and forgot to add the last part in!**

* * *

•∞•

 ** _Nine: Mokey Mokey Smackdown_**

•∞•

Roxas spent the next morning lying in bed contemplating either ending his life or calling over to Hayner's house to play Yu-Gi-Oh! He decided on the latter and spent a good four hours at the apartment. After Beatrix called Hayner in for dinner, Roxas wandered back to Station Heights and did tricks along the ramp leading down to the entrance to the Sandlot. Once he got home, he collected his new football and practiced shooting in the alley beside the garage wall. When he hit one of the windows, Ventus stormed out and roared that if he broke a thing, he'd take the football and shove it down Roxas' throat. Roxas disappeared on his board again, carrying his football over his shoulder as he whizzed past the station to the patio edge. With gusto he chucked the football over, hitched his skateboard over his back, and climbed down the mountainside again. He practiced ball in the valley below until it grew dark, imagining hitting Ventus' or Cloud's head whenever he shot. He was sore over the man leaving without so much as a goodbye, gobsmacked that he could even do so after all the time they'd shared together. But maybe it was all just a pleasant dream. Perhaps his older brother hadn't been interested in him at all. When it got dark enough, Roxas kicked the ball up over the patio wall with all his might and scaled the mountain again. Then he walked home. Cid shouted at him for failing to communicate when he arrived. Roxas ignored him and bounded into his room, slamming the door and shoving his chair under the knob. He juggled his football along his toes aimlessly, ignoring Cid again when he called for dinner. When it came to ten o'clock and Cid thundered up and commanded him to open his door, he plugged in his phone and listened to music, kicking the ball at his barred window. When the lock clicked open and his chair caught the swinging door, Cid roared for him to let him in.

"I'm not hungry!" Roxas shrieked, shoving his music volume to the loudest it would go.

"Roxas, if you do not let me in, I will ground your ass!" Cid bellowed.

"So what?" Roxas snapped. "You don't take me anywhere, anyway."

"Told you Cloud turned him into a spoilt fuckin' brat," Ventus hissed in glee behind. Cid shoved him and told him to back the fuck off. Ventus scowled and slammed into his own room. When Roxas was certain he was gone, he scrambled up and took the chair from under his doorknob. Then he plopped back on his bed and gazed at his feet. Cid shuffled in and sighed, glancing around in anxiety. Then he cursed under his breath and sat at Roxas' side, rubbing his back.

"Roxas," he murmured. Roxas glanced away.

"I know why you're acting up." Cid said. "You're mad at Cloud."

"Not just Cloud," Roxas muttered. Cid sighed and groaned.

"Me, too. I know you're mad at me, I can smell that a mile away," he said. "And I know ya don't much care for Ventus-"

"I would if he cared about me!" Roxas shouted loud enough for Ventus to hear. Cid shushed him and rubbed his back to calm him down.

"I know I fucked up, Roxas," he warbled. "I tried real hard to raise you boys right after your parents, well, um... but I fucked up. I made you all fuckin' resent each other."

"Cloud said it was Ventus' fault," Roxas snarled.

"Now, you stop that shit right now," Cid snapped. "It ain't all Ventus' fault. Part of it was the death. We all processed that grief in different ways, mostly bad, an ye were so damn young at the time that all ya could do was be churned around by the tides."

"I've been getting bullied for months, 'pa," Roxas whispered. "Cloud was the only one who cared."

"Well, didn't I teach ya how to punch?" Cid asked. Roxas said Cid was impatient with him. Cid scowled and slapped his palms together in vexation.

"I'm not fast like Cloud and Ventus," Roxas sniffled. "I had no one to play with."

"I know, buddy," Cid said with a sniff. "I know."

"I didn't make friends with Hayner and Pence until last year."

"You were hangin' with 'em before," Cid tried. But Roxas shook his head.

"But we didn't make real friends until last year. And they still don't even want to hang out with me all day."

"I know."

"I only had myself!" Roxas croaked. "And I don't like having just myself. I want friends. Cloud made me feel like I deserved friends."

"You do deserve friends, Rox," Cid said.

"Then why didn't Cloud say goodbye?" Roxas wept. "Did he decide he didn't like me anymore?"

"No," Cid whispered, hugging Roxas close. "Cloud's just a runner, Roxas. He didn't want to say goodbye because he likes ya too much. It broke his heart to see ya cry."

"What if he just didn't want to feel guilty," Roxas sniffed.

"I don't know, Rox," Cid sighed. "Just don't let somethin' like that poison what ya had with him for eight weeks. Shoot, I never seen ya so happy till ye were playin' with Cloud. Ye shone like the damn sun."

Roxas sniffed and blushed, cuddling into Cid's side. The old man embraced him and settled him on his lap as if he were five again.

"Ya know I'm not a cuddly fella, Rox," he said, wiping away Roxas' tears from his blond muss of hair. "But I think I'm beginnin' to figure out that you are. This family is a pack of lone wolves and you're a little cuddlin' cub."

Roxas giggled as Cid tickled him, snuggling closer under Cid's chin.

"An I'm real sorry I couldn't give ye that," Cid whispered. "I worked so damn much in the shop that I took Cloud for granted, too, because he was willin' to drive you around an play with you an give you all the damn time in the world. But... Ventus ain't like that. Ventus has his own life on his mind an he just can't process doin' somethin' for someone else-"

"Like fuck I can't process doin' somethin' for someone else!" Ventus spat from his room. Cid jumped up and told him to fuck off.

"You have a real fuckin' concerned way of hearin' for someone who don't give a fuck half the time!"

"I just don't like people spreadin' rumors that aren't true!" Ventus bellowed. Before Cid could lunge forward, Roxas stopped him with a shriek, shoving him in the back and screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Roxas, stop that five year old screechin' or I'll beat the shit out of you!" Ventus roared from his room.

"I'll be the fuckin' judge of that, ya little shit!" Cid snapped.

"Stop fighting, please!" Roxas begged, stomping his foot and blocking Cid from going to his door. Suddenly, Ventus was in the hallway behind, his Highwind blush roaring down his cheeks and around his ears.

"I can't stand the smarmy fuckin' way this kid conducts himself!" he spat. "He's been hangin' out of Cloud for eight fuckin' weeks, probably made him lose his fuckin' job, cries like a fuckin' girl, wants grown ass men to sleep in bed with him-"

"You stop that line of thought right fuckin' now, Ventus, or I'll beat it out of ya!" Cid bellowed. Ventus burst into gleeful, livid laughter.

"Oh, yeah? You gonna beat it out of him, too, or are you gonna let him do whatever the fuck he likes an get away with it?"

"You don't know what the fuck you're talkin' about!"

"You think I don't know why you're all so fuckin' interested in this little shit?" Ventus shouted, tears budding around his eyes. "Y'all makin' _real_ sure he turns into a proper man- that's why he's gettin' all this extra fuckin' attention, innit? Afraid he's gonna turn out like me, huh? Even though you only found one fuckin' picture on my phone-"

"That was a middle fuckin' aged man, ya little creep, it was sick!" Cid thundered, tearing a hole in the hallway wall as he punched into it. Ventus whipped from Roxas to Cid in extremis. Then he pointed to Roxas and yelled, "Cloud caught him lookin' at gay porn!"

"Ventus!" Roxas bawled in horror, falling to his knees. Ventus seethed down at him with gritted teeth.

"I bet you told him you'd kill your fuckin' self, you little shit, even after his fuckin' best friend committed suicide. You did it so he wouldn't tell 'pa, didn't you? An then you had him runnin' after you like your personal fuckin' slave for months."

"I didn't know about his friend!" shouted Roxas.

"Bullshit!" sang Ventus. "But I been listenin' _real_ hard these past few weeks and I see right fuckin' through you, an if I got fuckin' punished for a stupid fuckin' joke someone took on my phone when I was a kid, you're gonna get punished, too."

"Everything is always about you, isn't it?" Roxas snarled. "You're just jealous cause Cloud likes me better than you!"

"Bullshit again!" Ventus roared. "Cloud likes himself more than anythin' in the world an you stroked his fuckin' dick, cuddlin' up to him an' tellin' him he was fuckin' wonderful, so of course he kept you around! Cloud doesn't like anyone who tells him what he really is- a selfish pricked asshole!"

"He's not!" Roxas shrieked. "He's a better brother than you could ever be!"

"We weren't even supposed to be your fuckin' brothers in the first place!" Ventus bellowed. "You were a fuckin' mistake, that's why you were born so late-"

"Ventus-" Cid warned, but Ventus continued.

"I know you been textin' a boy, too," he hissed. "So all this time you thought Cloud actually liked you, you were just a charity case for him because it'd look bad for his stupid fuckin' foundation if his own brother killed himself-"

"Ventus!"

"An I have held my tongue on all this but now that he's finally gone an you're on your own again an actin' out, I see that you just got used to havin' people at your beck and call, but guess what, Roxas, that's over! You're no more special than the rest of us! You're no better than me!"

"I'm a thousand times better than you!" Roxas screamed. "Cloud said I was a good kid who had his whole life ahead of him, he said you were just a deadweight who went fucking insane when you were fifteen and nobody wanted you around after that!"

"Oh, really?" Ventus spat. "What else did Cloud tell you about me, Roxas?"

"He said you got kicked off the football team for doing drugs," Roxas shot back. "He said you were a leech who got mad when the world didn't give you whatever you wanted. He said he couldn't stand you!"

"Oh, yeah?" Ventus sobbed through tears of rage. "An I bet you fuckin' loved that, didn't you, you vile little faggot! Why don't you take that fuckin' board of yours to his house an let him ride your pussy ass if you like him so much?"

Roxas shoved Ventus into the opposite wall and slapped him in the face.

"I hope you die!" he roared. "Nobody will ever love you! You're a disease! I wish you were never born, I hope you kill yourself!"

Before Roxas knew it, he was on the hallway floor guarding his head as Ventus grabbed him by the shirt and punched him like a madman. When Ventus tried dragging him down the stairs, Cid roared for him to stop and pinned him against the wall, punching him hard in the jaw and sending him toppling down to the shop door. As the glass broke over him, Roxas charged into Ventus' room and tore through his valuables, grabbing as many breakables as he could and charging them back to the top of the stairs. As he threw each one down at Ventus' face, Cid stopped him and dragged him by the hair until he was sitting on the floor in front of the bathroom. As he snarled for Roxas to let go of Ventus' things, Ventus tore back up the stairs and slithered over his back in another effort to get at the boy. Cid held him back in a wrestle. When Ventus got out of it, he tore into his room and collected his clothes and toiletries in his duffel bag. When Cid asked where he was going, he hissed that it was none of his fucking business.

"I'm goin' to someone who gives a shit about me!" he spat into the bathroom as Roxas sobbed against the floor. Then he thundered down the stairs again and slammed through the shattered shop door, turning on his car and screeching out of the lot with it. Once he was gone, Cid relaxed against the bathroom door and turned to Roxas with a hard glance. When Roxas looked up at him, he glowered.

"Was what Ventus said true?" he gasped through ragged breaths. "About the porn?"

Roxas opened and closed his mouth in guilt. When he said that it had just been with Hayner for fun, Cid rushed into his room and disconnected his laptop from the wall. When Roxas screeched for him to stop, he took his phone as well.

"You're not gettin' these back for a month," Cid hissed. "An you're grounded for two weeks! If I see you anywhere besides this shop, I'll break the fuckin' thing myself!"

"I'm sorry!" Roxas cried into his hands, begging Cid not to take his stuff. Cid ignored him and slammed through the kitchen. Roxas remained amongst Ventus' belongings, slamming each of them across the tub porcelain as he cursed Ventus, Cloud, Cid, his parents, Sora, and anyone else who had fucked up his life till that point.

•∞•

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed this one! I want to hear all of your thoughts in the comments!**

 **Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW! **


	10. Glass Slippers

**A/N: Crazywill! I'm glad to hear from you again! Yes, I love a good sad, innocent protagonist lol. I LOVE that you pity/hate Ventus. Just the way I like it... though Ventus in this is INSANELY different than he is in Hero Academy.**

 **Forsakenwill, lol, you're totally fine. Just you wait, things are gonna get wild pretty soon.**

* * *

•∞•

 ** _Ten: Glass Slippers_**

•∞•

A condition of Roxas' grounding was that he couldn't see any friends, especially Hayner. Somehow Cid had gotten it into his head that the two were having some sort of gay affair. No matter how many times Roxas tried explaining it, Cid would cut him off and say there was no point in arguing because it wouldn't change his mind. So Roxas was stuck kicking his football at the garage wall for a week, until a familiar car rolled into the driveway and Yuffie and Rydia dropped out. When Roxas blinked at them in shock, they waved and asked if he wanted to come play football. For a moment he jumped for joy. Then, when he realized he was grounded, he broke the bad news. Yuffie and Rydia asked what had happened. When Roxas caved and explained that Cid thought he was gay, they gasped. Then, Yuffie grinned and whispered something in Rydia's ear. Rydia beamed and hooked her arms around Roxas' shoulders, jumping over his back. When he asked what was wrong, she whispered for him to play along. Yuffie charged into the shop singing Cid's name. When he came out to say hi, she stretched open her arms and cheered.

"Aw, hey, girlie!" Cid said in glee as Yuffie jumped into his arms. When he saw Roxas tottering in with Rydia, he perked up in surprise.

"Uh, who's, uh... this?"

"This is my friend, Rydia!" Yuffie sang. "We've been playing with Roxas every day after football practice and we missed him this past week! We've been trying to call him!"

"Yeah!" Rydia chirped, sliding off Roxas' shoulders and holding out her hand for Cid to shake. He glanced from her to Roxas with a suspicious glower, muttering that Roxas was grounded with his phone and computer taken away. Yuffie groaned and clapped Cid's shoulder in playful protest, eliciting a yelp from the older man.

"You lost us our practice buddy, Cid!" she wailed. Rydia giggled and snuggled close to Roxas' side, making him blush from anxiety. When Cid saw it, a grin tugged at his cheek.

"Roxas, ya didn't tell me ye were playing around with... girls," he said.

"I didn't think it was worth saying," Roxas responded with furrowed brows.

"Roxas hangs out with girls all the time!" Yuffie scoffed. When Cid's eyebrows rose, she snapped, "well, not _all_ the time- he's a good kid!"

Rydia giggled again, making Roxas avert his gaze and scratch behind his ear. Cid faltered and bit his lip. When Yuffie asked if Roxas could get ice cream and go a couple rounds with them at the football pitch, the old man caved and muttered that he had to be back by eleven.

"And no gettin' sidetracked," he warned. Roxas burst into a beam of excitement and raced up the stairs, changing into his football clothes and collecting his ball and cleats. When he got to Rydia's mother's car, the woman thanked Cid for letting Roxas come along and said she would look after him. It helped that she was rather good looking. Cid was blushing and saying it was nothing in no time. As the car pulled out of the lot and Roxas sat back in relief, he thanked his lucky stars that Cloud had introduced him to Yuffie in the first place. When they got to the field, the girls practiced with him for two hours. As they played club, he drilled on his own, dribbling, juggling and striking the ball furiously as he tried to make the most of his brother's absence. When club practice finished, the girls rejoined him until Rydia's mother showed up again. When Yuffie asked if Roxas wanted to stay the night at her place in Radiant Garden, he winced and said that Cid might not let him.

"I'll call, if you want," Rydia's mother chirped, clicking on her car's bluetooth. When the speaker ebbed and Cid answered, she broke the question. Cid fell silent.

"It's okay if he can't, Cid," Yuffie called from the backseat. "But my bro and dad are gonna be there and we're having pizza, and Rydia said her brother Cecil might come over."

"Well," Cid growled, obviously hating the thought of giving in. Finally, he muttered, "that's alright, I guess. But he'll have to come home to collect some stuff."

"Sounds dandy," Rydia's mother chirped. Yuffie and Rydia cheered at the good news, making Roxas giddy with excitement. When he got to the shop, Cid was waiting. Roxas averted his gaze as the man spirited him inside, trudging up to his room and starting to pack a small bag. As he settled his belongings inside, Cid rummaged in his pocket and held out Roxas' phone. When Roxas saw it, he gasped and reached out. Cid held it above his head in warning.

"I am givin' ya this under special conditions," the old man growled. "You are to use this purely for communication purposes. If I so much as catch a hint of ye lookin' up dirty pictures, you'll be grounded until school starts again, an it don't matter how much ya cry, I won't care."

"Okay," Roxas scowled. When he reached for the lowering phone, Cid raised it again.

"An you best believe I looked at your texts. Is Sora the boy ya been after?"

"Ventus doesn't know what he's talking about," Roxas whined. "Sora's the boy bullying me, that's why me and Cloud were talking about him."

"Yet he gave ya his number?" Cid spat.

"He's on Yuffie's football team," Roxas explained. "He gave it to me and told me he'd practice with me. The only reason I texted him was because no one else would give me a ride to the field!"

Cid grunted doubtfully, but his sagging shoulders told Roxas he was buying the story. In Roxas' defense, it was the truth, with just a few details omitted. Cid evaded Roxas' phone grab a third time, switching hands. With pursed lips, he asked if Roxas had a crush on one of the girls.

"What?" Roxas breathed. "You mean Rydia and Yuffie?"

"Well, yeah," Cid said. "It's weird for a boy to be hangin' around just girls if he don' like one of them."

"No it's not!" Roxas said. "It isn't the eighteen hundreds anymore, 'pa! Girls and boys can be friends, now."

"But do ya like one of them?" Cid asked in hope. Caving, Roxas muttered that he thought Rydia's hair was pretty. Cid sighed in audible relief. Then he beamed, handed Roxas his phone, and clapped him on the shoulder.

"I want no damn funny business, sonny," he warned. "Yuffie is invitin' you into her house, you treat her and her friend with respect. You be nice to their families. If I hear one bad word over ya, you're done for."

"Okay," Roxas nodded. When he tried leaving his room, Cid stopped him and hugged him. When he parted, he bit his lip and grimaced.

"Roxas, I don't want ya thinkin' I think you're a degenerate," he whispered. "I know you're just a cuddly guy. Ya been cuddly since the day ye were born. An I think everythin' that's happened, an not havin' a good male role model around, an not havin' any women around... I know ya got a little curious an confused. But I think this football's been real good for ya. If ye can try makin' the team this year... I think it'd do ya some real good. See how men behave when they work together."

"Okay, 'pa," Roxas whispered, masking his disappointment by averting his gaze as he put his phone in his pocket. Cid pulled him in for another hug. He begrudgingly accepted. His hesitation made Cid beam.

"Have a great night, kiddo," he insisted. "I love ya. Ye know you'll always be my little boy."

Roxas nodded and said he loved Cid too. Then, released, he charged down the stairs and into Rydia's car. The drive to Radiant Garden took an hour, but the two girls entertained him along the way. Yuffie's house was a quaint bungalow just inside the border meeting Twilight Town. It wasn't big enough to be a ranch, but it wasn't small or close enough to other homes to count as suburban living. Sprawling forests divided by several weirs and channels surrounded it. The residence itself was in a bad state of disrepair, but there was a warmth to it that radiated all the way from the sandy pebbled driveway to the road leading back to town. Mismatched chairs and fairy lights dotted the front lawn, where a motley crew of individuals lounged and spoke. Rydia's mother parked outside and brought in a couple groceries, hugging Yuffie's mother and a gorgeous man with swept back, lavender dyed hair in one go. When Roxas gawked, Rydia giggled that that was her older brother, Cecil. Sure enough, the man lumbered over and introduced himself, giving a curt smile as he shook Roxas' hand. When Rydia jumped over his back, he reeled and patted her cheek. Then he let her go and hugged Yuffie.

"Where's ol' Vinny?" Yuffie chirped. Cecil pointed to a man with long black hair under a red hoodie and black leather jacket. He held a cigarette between his onyx fingernails and tapped his horn toed boots together like Dorothy from _The Wizard of Oz_ as he spoke to a massive black man with braids and a slick tailored goatie.

"Barretton-e!" Yuffie sang, throwing her arms around the dark man and kissing his cheek.

"Lil' ninja, how you doin'?" he asked. "How's football?"

"It's good- VINNY!" Yuffie roared, tackling the hooded man out of his lawn chair and onto the grass.

"Yuffie!" he barked. "What the hell?"

Before he could say another word, he was trapped in a bubble of violent affection. Roxas watched the brother and sister argue and laugh with each other in longing. When the pale, red irised man glanced up at him and held out his hand, Roxas blushed and shook it, grinning and nodding hello.

"Your name?" Vinny drawled.

"Roxas," Roxas responded like a whip.

"Cool," Vinny responded. "Cloud's brother, right?"

"Yeah," Roxas grinned.

"Huh," Vinny nodded. "He was over for a couple days a month back."

"Oh, that's nice," Roxas murmured. That must have been the time Cloud escaped to his 'friend's' house.

"Did he talk much about me?" Roxas chirped.

"No," Vinny responded. Yuffie scowled and slapped his shoulder. Vincent blinked in apology when he saw Roxas' fallen expression, quipping that Cloud didn't talk much about his family life, anyway.

"But you, uh... seem like a good kid," he tried. Yuffie scowled and hooked her arm around Roxas', beaming like the sun as she asked if he wanted to see her room. Roxas nodded, letting Rydia jump on his back again. Vincent, Barrett, and Cecil watched in amusement as they disappeared inside, whispering to each other and laughing.

Yuffie's room was on the west end of the bungalow, down a dipping step beside a patio that led out to a foul smelling, disused pool filled with scum. Her dwelling was spacious, filled with band and football memorabilia. She had a twin bed with lavender covers. As she plopped onto it, Roxas let Rydia off his shoulders and sat cross legged in the room's center. Yuffie asked if he was on Facebook. He shook his head, chirping that he had a tumblr account.

"Probably all Yu-Gi-Oh! stuff, right?" she asked. Roxas blushed, meaning yes. Yuffie broke into laughter as Rydia said that she had a tumblr, too.

"Mine's mostly anime and hair art," she said. "You can probably tell, but my family is into crazy dyes."

"Do either of your parents dye their hair?" asked Roxas. Rydia shook her head.

"My mom's a hairdresser, but she just cuts hair. She cut mine!" she added, fluffing it up in indication. Roxas murmured that it was nice. Rydia blushed and giggled. Yuffie examined Roxas with narrowed eyes.

"Roxas, I hope you don't mind me asking this..." She started. "But... _are_ you gay?"

Roxas reeled, insisting that it was alright when Yuffie's eyes widened in apology. As he thought about it, he shrugged, murmuring that he had never really thought about his sexuality till recently.

"I saw... or, I just started noticing that I respond more to... guys," he whispered. "Especially with... why I was grounded." Yuffie and Rydia nodded in thought.

"Have you ever been interested in girls?" Rydia asked. Roxas shrugged. Though he loved affection from anyone, the feelings he got from being close to or being looked at by boys was different than the way he felt when he was close to or being touched by girls. And the feelings he got after watching the football video with Hayner were, well... pretty indisputable.

"So why exactly would being gay keep you from the pitch for an entire week?" Yuffie asked. When Roxas mumbled that Cid didn't approve, Rydia asked how he came up with the accusation in the first place. Roxas hesitated. Did he really want to let slip what Ventus had told Cid? If he didn't confide now, would he ever get the chance to get it off his chest again?

"Ventus told Cid I was looking at gay porn," Roxas said simply.

"Oh, fuck," Yuffie laughed without helping it, clapping her hand over her mouth in guilty glee. When Rydia muttered under her breath that she looked at a lot of yaoi, Roxas insisted that it wasn't the same.

"For one thing, I'm a guy," he started, "and for another, Ventus is just... anything innocent or not that big a deal, he just twists it into something nasty and cruel. And I texted Sora randomly to see if he could take me to the soccer pitch after Cloud left because no one else would, and Ventus somehow found out and told Cid I was texting a guy."

"Ventus is your brother?" Rydia confirmed. Roxas nodded, muttering that he was a pretty crappy guy. "He left the same day Cid grounded me and we haven't seen him since. He's probably with his friend, Vanitas."

"Is he LGBTQ, too?" gasped Yuffie. Roxas reeled back and scoffed. But when he thought about it, the idea nagged him. He settled that he didn't know.

"I'd be surprised," he muttered as an afterthought. "The way he talks about gay people is really horrible."

"I'm so sorry, Roxas," Yuffie murmured. "What a poisonous environment to grow up in."

Roxas furrowed his brows as he thought about it. He supposed it was hard, being part of a family he had to tiptoe around constantly in case they got into an earth shattering, jaw breaking argument and one of them decided to storm off and never come back. But when he saw the way his family was capable of acting, like when Cloud invited everyone to the beach, it made his heart break. What had happened to them?

"It's Ventus," he insisted. "Everything that goes wrong starts with him."

"Yikes," Rydia sighed. "Seems like his sole purpose is to ruin your life."

"Asshole," Yuffie echoed. Roxas agreed that he was.

"But who's going to practice ball with you now?" Rydia chirped. "Wasn't Ventus star striker for Twilight High when he was younger?"

"He was?" gasped Yuffie. "Cloud never said a word about that! Is that true, Roxas?"

"It is," Roxas confirmed. "He was kicked out for doing drugs."

"Not before he scored fifteen goals in one game," Rydia said smugly. "If he's the same Ventus I'm thinking of, he was a fucking beast at football. Serious teams were watching him. It probably went to his head."

"Ventus Highwind would have been his name," Roxas whispered. Rydia gasped and clapped.

"Yeah, that's him! That's insane!"

"Why didn't you say you knew him before, Rydia?"

"Well, I thought Roxas' last name was Strife!"

"Cloud took my mother's maiden name," Roxas said. "We're the Highwinds."

"How did I not fucking know this?" Yuffie cried in indignation.

"Dunno," Rydia shrugged. "Maybe you're just not a serious ball player like I am."

As Rydia and Yuffie started wrestling, Roxas thought their confessions about his family over. He wished Ventus were more like Cloud. If he were, perhaps he would be easier to figure out.

•∞•

After sleeping over at Yuffie's house, Roxas ate a hearty breakfast and joined in a game of field football with Yuffie and Rydia's families. They all agreed that he was getting pretty good. Then Yuffie and company led him to the weir by Bastion River's north channel, which they used as a water slide for a couple hours until Yuffie's dad called them back for lunch. After that they got ready and drove to football practice. Yuffie's coach, the man with John Lennon shades and slicked back hair, watched Roxas as he charged around on his own. When club team was over, he asked everyone to hold off putting the stuff away. When Roxas saw the man coming, he froze and gulped back the lump dragging his head down his chest in fear.

"Hello," the coach greeted, tipping his chin a little. Roxas said hello back.

"Do you play for a high school team?" asked the coach. When Roxas said he played for fun, the man pursed his lips in surprise.

"I saw you practicing with that blond fella for ages until last week," he said. "You were really improving. What happened?"

"He had to go back home for work," Roxas said shyly. "He's my brother Cloud."

"Huh," the coach responded. Then he held out his hand. "Auron. I coach Twilight High Varsity."

"Roxas Highwind," Roxas responded in a whisper.

"Any relation to Ventus Highwind?" asked Auron. Roxas nodded and said that he was his brother.

"Ah, great player," Auron conceded. "Real shame the way he went. Why don't you have him keep coaching you in Cloud's place?"

"He and I..." Roxas gulped. "We don't really get along."

"That's too bad," Auron responded. "With some serious coaching, I think you'd be ready for varsity by the first week of school."

"Really?" Roxas gasped in shock. "Well, can I play with your club?"

Auron winced and glanced behind him. Sora stood stock still beside the bag of supplies, as if in wait. When the coach cocked his head, he fired towards him like a bullet. Once he was there, Auron asked him to tee Roxas up some balls to shoot. As Roxas kicked, Auron gave him corners to kick towards at the last moment. Most of the time, Roxas missed, and there wasn't even a goalie to stop him. Auron pursed his lips and called Seifer over to act as goalie. Then he had Sora scrimmage with Roxas. With the brunet close enough to embrace, Roxas tripped and fumbled over his feet. He was abysmal. Auron narrowed his eyes as he watched and called Demyx over instead. Demyx blinked in surprise but nodded and trailed over. Roxas did a little better with him, not because he was any worse, but because he wasn't Sora. With that finished, Auron tried Roxas on goalie. Roxas missed every shot Sora took. The boy teased him with grins and feints as he scrimmaged against Seifer, toying with the ball when he got to the goalie post before firing it in the opposite direction Roxas stood. Roxas fell for his every trick. Auron winced as the boy dived back and forth across the grass. When the whole ordeal finished, Roxas held back tears. The rest of the team bar Sora, Yuffie, and Rydia left for their cars. Auron stood at Roxas' side with pursed lips.

"Well?" Roxas gulped when the silence became poisonous. "What... did you think?"

"Hm," Auron responded. "I've seen you play a lot better."

"I'm better when I'm not under pressure," Roxas responded.

"That's moot, because football is the definition of pressure," Auron shot down. "I think you may need a new method of approach."

"Well... now that Cloud's gone, maybe you could be my coach?" Roxas peeped in hope. But Auron shook his head.

"I don't think that would help at this point," he explained. "You're not ready to play with the others, and as you stand, I can't give you the attention you need."

"Oh," Roxas whispered.

Auron smiled. "It was nice meeting you. Try getting that brother of yours to help you out. You keep practicing the way you were these past eight weeks and then come by the school pitch on the Friday of the first week of school and show us what you got. Then I really think we could find a place for you."

Roxas stood in shock as the man walked away.

"I told you Ventus and I don't get along!" he called. Auron glanced over his shoulder and winked.

"Then maybe it's time to reestablish contact."

* * *

 **A/N: Tell me all your thoughts/ questions/ opinions in the comments!**

 **Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW! **


	11. Trap Hole

**A/N: Crazywill! I'm glad to hear from you again! Yes, I love a good sad, innocent protagonist lol. I LOVE that you pity/hate Ventus. Just the way I like it... though Ventus in this is INSANELY different than he is in Hero Academy.**

 **Artistically-Morbid, hello! New commenters are** **always welcome, thank you so much for your glowing review! :D Things will kind of get better... it won't all be angst, but the next few chapters will be intense. I'm so happy you're so conflicted (MWA HAHA) because almost all of these characters are neither bad nor good, just really messed up!**

 **Forsaken, lol, you're totally fine. Just you wait, things are gonna get wild pretty soon.**

* * *

•∞•

 ** _Eleven: Trap Hole_**

•∞•

Roxas realized he didn't have much time left until the first Friday of school. If he wanted to find someone to practice with, he had to do it pronto. That's why he found himself searching Vanitas' address on his public library computer database and skateboarding slash taking the train all the way to the outskirts of Sunset Station. After getting himself sufficiently lost, he finally located the apartment complex near a fountain at the end of the tramline and the subway tunnels. A man on the roadside confirmed that he'd seen someone similar to Ventus wandering around it for the past week. Sure enough, when Roxas glanced up the fire escapes around the building's back, he saw Ventus leaning over the topmost floor in nothing but a way finder necklace and a pair of boxer briefs that didn't look like his own. His back arched and his hip curled up with his straightened left leg. His right leg relaxed and bent as his knee found its way to the fire escape balcony railing, swishing back and forth as its owner stared aimlessly over the ground below, puffing in and out of a tiny, hand rolled cigarette. When a pungent, skunky smell drifted down, Roxas realized it was probably hash. He peeped up again, amazed that Ventus had not yet caught him staring. As the man took another drag, his eyelids grew heavy and he sighed, propping his chin up with his fist as his cigarette hand flopped limply over the railing side, swishing away embers. He wore the strangest expression as he glanced into the grass on the other side of the complex fence, like a sad little boy with nothing to do. For a moment he smiled. Roxas reeled when he noticed. The man never _really_ smiled. But now, here he was, almost wistful. He began humming, jutting his jaw out to scratch his chin. Then he caught Roxas' eye. Roxas blinked. Ventus gaped. Then he hissed and clambered down the fire escape stairs, fuming forward as his younger brother stumbled back.

"What in the livin' fuck are you doing here, you little shit?" Ventus spat under his breath, glancing around as if someone would come out and put him in time out.

"I came to ask you a question," Roxas insisted in a blubber. When he yelped as Ventus pushed him back, the man clamped his hand over his mouth and shushed him.

"What?" Ventus spat. "Like, 'why are you still breathin'?'"

"No," Roxas insisted, glancing down in shame as he remembered what he had told Ventus before the man ran away. "I- I just wanted to ask if you would coach me for football in Cloud's place."

For a moment Ventus stopped and looked at Roxas as if he'd barfed up an arm. His eyes narrowed and his mouth curled up in a grimace.

" _What?_ " he spat.

"I want you to coach me for football, I have no one else and the coach said I could make varsity if-"

"You had fifteen years to ask me to coach you in football," Ventus sneered. "I think the time limit on your stupid requests went up the day you told me to kill myself-"

"I'm sorry, Ventus," Roxas warbled. "I never wanted you to kill yourself. I just wanted you to stop making my life hell-"

"You don't know the meanin' of hell!" Ventus hissed, grabbing Roxas by the shirt collar and hoisting him up to meet his nose. Roxas gulped but gritted his teeth and puffed up his chest.

"Then I know the meaning of brotherhood," he said. "I know it's something we could have had."

"I don't want you for a brother," Ventus spat. Struck, Roxas gritted his teeth and hissed that he didn't want Ventus either. "But I came all the way here to find you because I wasn't given any better. What good have you ever done for me?"

Ventus' grip around Roxas' collar tightened as his mouth turned into an open, biting grimace. Words dripping with hate formed on the tip of his tongue.

"Ven?" called a voice from the open fire escape door. Ventus winced and whipped his glance towards it, calling that he'd be up in a minute.

"I got coke and booze, hurry the fuck up or you'll regret it."

Ventus and Roxas exchanged glances.

"Coke?" asked Roxas. Ventus blinked. Then he begged Roxas not to tell Cid.

"Ven! Ass upstairs!"

"I'm coming, fuck!" Ventus roared over his shoulder, scowling and shaking his head. He shoved Roxas until he was hidden around the building side. Then he leaned towards him and told him to never come around here again.

"You mean I'll never see you again?" Roxas breathed. Ventus softened for a glimmer. Then he scoffed and muttered that Roxas chose a funny time to start caring.

"You tell Cid about what you just heard, an I swear I will butcher you. You come around here again, I will beat the shit out of you, an I won't give a fuck, either."

"Maybe if you started giving a fuck things would be different," Roxas demanded. "After all, if you loved me-"

"Love you?" Ventus interjected through a sneer. "I don't even like you. Now if you don't fuck off-"

"Ventus, who are you talking to?" called a voice entirely too close for comfort. Ventus' eyes widened to something Roxas could only describe as terror. Without thought he positioned Roxas on his board and shoved him down the roadside, watching as he spun around and inside the subway tunnel closest. As Roxas hid, he peeked an eye out to see who had come to collect his brother.

Spiky black hair. Amber irises. Vanitas- clad in black skinny jeans and a yellow, winking smiley face t-shirt. When Ventus met his gaze, the ravenet held the back of his hand up to face him, closing all his fingers into a fist but his middle and fore. Ventus scoffed and shoved the hand down as Vanitas cackled.

"Two lines," he said. "One for you, one for me. Not much, just an appetizer."

Ventus held up his blunt and shrugged his shoulders in a "sorry" gesture. Vanitas scoffed. "Okay. You can do both lines and I'll watch."

"An have you take advantage of me?" Ventus muttered so low Roxas was surprised he made it out at all. "Not fuckin' likely."

"Were you just talking to Roxas?" Vanitas asked suddenly. Ventus fell ominously silent, taking a long drag from his blunt and glancing at the ground as he blew out. He fidgeted as Vanitas stared into his eyes coolly. The amber irised man grinned, ripped the hash from his lips, and took a drag himself. He teased Ventus, holding the blunt out and lifting it up when the man snatched for it. When Ventus became angry and snatched too hard, the ashes smashed in his palm, making him gasp and shake his fist out in fury. Vanitas cackled and leaned against the building side as he watched.

"Come in and..." he started, his words turning to mush he was so far away. If Roxas moved any closer, he would be seen. Some crazy part of him thought that Vanitas wanted that.

"I told him to get lost," Ventus responded as he massaged his palm. "He won't be comin' back any time soon."

Vanitas' smile wiped off his face, replaced by a cold stare. He shrugged. Then he murmured, "I just thought friends shared."

There was silence. Then, "You sound like a real fuckin' creep, man..." in a small voice that didn't sound like the Ventus Roxas knew.

"Especially with the people who literally give them the clothes off their backs," Vanitas hissed over him, nodding to Ventus' briefs. "You're just not a sharing person. Your family knows that, that's why you're here. It's not like there's any affection between you. I just want one bite, and then I'm done."

Ventus shook his head and winced through a sigh, shuffling from foot to foot in anxiety. Vanitas snorted and narrowed his eyes.

"One of us is going to be done, soon, either way."

"You're real sick, Van," Ventus whispered. "That is sick. You need to know that. As a friend, I want you to know..." He couldn't say much else. Especially when Vanitas snickered.

" _I'm_ sick? That's rich... wait till the world sees that video."

Ventus' back was to Roxas, but he could see the life drain from his skin. He turned from tan to green, frozen in alginic ice. His shoulders sagged. His fists opened like limp petals. His ribs pulsed out with breath before holding for what felt like an eternity. Vanitas caught the show in one go, grinning as he stared from Ventus' feet to his face, landing right over his shoulder, right in line with Roxas' gaping, confused glare. As amber eyes met blue, Roxas gasped. Ventus flew around. Tears were in his eyes. He hissed and began to stalk. But by then Roxas had fled, down through the subway tunnels towards the train station.

•∞•

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 **A/N: Tell me all your thoughts/ questions/ opinions in the comments!**

 **Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW! **


	12. Alert

**A/N:** **AkumaDemonGod, welcome! I'm glad you're enjoying it so much! Here's another chapter! Things will start getting pretty intense, at least for the next few chapters, so I'll put warnings at the beginning.**

 **Warning: Sexual content, language.**

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•∞•

 ** _Twelve: Alert_**

•∞•

 _Wait till the world sees that video._

It was all Roxas could think about. Each day it assailed his thoughts until it grew like a dark thundercloud, encasing and following him wherever he went, along with Yuffie's suggestion that Ventus might be gay and everything Cid and Ventus said in the major fight that had gotten Roxas grounded in the first place. The more he practiced with Rydia and Yuffie after club, the more the punishment's conditions ebbed. Cid was already considering giving his computer back because he said he needed it to finish his school assignments. This year the honors teacher for english wanted everyone to have an email she could reach them through along with a group message enabling them to discuss thoughts and questions about whatever they were reading. His other teachers suggested similar conditions, but the population of Twilight Town was so skewed towards technological incompetence that they couldn't expect everyone to follow suit. Roxas had insisted to Cid that if he wanted to keep his grades up and get onto the varsity football team, he had to keep on the ball in whatever way he could. When Cid growled that he didn't know if he'd make the team at all, Roxas said that at the least, he needed someone to drive him to and back from the football field everyday. Cid had even started taking breaks from the shop to help him out, transporting him there and coming to pick him up in the evening after the team let out. At first, Cloud's absence had attracted Sora to say hello, but when he saw the caustic look on Cid's face whenever he looked Roxas' way, he quickly gave up. The rides home were painful. All Cid would ask was "how'd it go?" and "how's Yuffie an that friend ya like?" Roxas would shrug and mutter that they were fine. But that wasn't enough for Cid. When one day turned into two and two into three, it became clear that his 'pa didn't really give a shit how Yuffie was doing, he knew she never changed. He was concerned about _Rydia_ , the girl who's hair Roxas liked. He'd pretend he didn't know her name to mask his interest, but Roxas knew he was begging to say it whenever he asked Roxas to remind him what she was called. Then the puppy dog eyes Ventus hated on Roxas would reflect on him, shielded by crow's feet and drooping upper lids. Roxas would groan internally and parrot any random thing he'd heard Hayner say about Olette.

"How do you know if a girl likes you?" he asked on the fifth day, hoping it was the same for both genders. That perked Cid up. He took off his cap and scratched the back of his head. Then he wiped the sweat from under the goggles he used as sunglasses and sighed that there were a few red flags, "if you will."

"One, they're always lookin' at ya," he explained. "They act slightly different, like they're puttin' on a show, a little more girly, like they laugh a lot and act real happy, an then every once in a while, they'll look over at ya. An if they're a bit confident, they'll try to entice ye, like... like they'll wear differen' clothes that compliment their shape, an they'll always ask how you're doin' an stuff like that, an they'll always try to get close to ya."

"Do you think Rydia likes me?" Roxas asked, face smushed against the window in disinterest. Cid perked up even higher and shrugged.

"Well, wit girls in my day it was easier to tell, cause they dressed up an wore girl clothes an they weren't into men's sports, not that that's a bad thing! I think it's great that they've got girl teams now an such, I love watching y'all play together. But what I mean to say is... well, it don't really seem like they act much different around each other than they do with you..."

"Oh," Roxas whispered, picking at his nails. He felt Cid's hand fall on his shoulder.

"But that don' mean ye have to give up, son," he insisted, glancing from Roxas to the road. "No matter who you're tryin' te git on your side, I believe there's always a second chance, ya just gotta take it by the horns."

"What do you mean?" Roxas whispered with furrowed brows. Cid shrugged and snorted. "Well, like Cloud! I think Cloud believes in second chances, that's why he took a second chance on you! That handsome devil thinks chances fall like rain," Cid laughed with pride. "Woowee, you shoulda seen the damn hearts he was breakin' in school. These girls, fuckin' supermodels in the makin', by gum, they'd be knockin' on the shop door, an you were too young to notice any of this, except for one time, 'member that one time when ye were ten or so an that one girl came in an sat on the couch an said she wasn't leavin' till Cloud came out an gave her a damn explanation? An she started cryin' an you came in and asked if she was okay an she said, 'my heart's broken,' an you said 'is there a hospital for that'?"

Cid guffawed with laughter, crying and slapping his knee as he pulsed up and down in his seat. Roxas gave a weak chuckle at his side. When Cid noticed his discomfort, he wiped around his eyes and sighed that Roxas just had to have a little more faith in himself.

"Like I said," he insisted, shaking his head with reverence. "Cloud damn well changed ye, an I'll be forever grateful for that. I never noticed just how handsome ye were till recently. I think it was mostly because ya felt happy an ye weren't tryin' te hide yourself anymore. I think ya just gotta remember that you _are_ handsome, an' you _are_ desirable, ya gotta feel it in your bones. Now, I don't mean to be crass, but ya got the Highwind blood between your legs, boy," he insisted, slapping Roxas' knee and making him wince. "Hot damn- myself at your age? I had some confusin' fuckin' feelings too, I had this buddy everyone called Shears, before he died we used to go skeet shootin', an huntin', an swimmin', an all sorts of stuff together, whenever Radiant Garden wasn't so built up, an one day we were wrestlin' an general rough housin'... an I ain't never told this to no one, but I had some weird fuckin' feelings as I was lookin' down at him," Cid said, shivering as though remembering a dance with the devil. "An' I just got the wildest sensation, like I just wanted to kiss the hell outta him! Woowee, I just felt buck wild! But the difference between a man an a degenerate is that a man sweeps past those feelings. I don't know what the hell woulda happened if I kissed Shears that day, but ye can sure as hell bet it wouldn't have ended in a kiss! Things woulda never been the same, an what's the point in harmin' a friendship over a bit of... well, ya know I ain't religious, but all I can think of is sinful thinking... I'll say _unnatural_ thinking, how's about that?" he chuckled. "Anyway, I sidestepped that, an what do ya know, two weeks later I saw this girl who knocked the fuckin' socks offa me... damn, we had so much sex that summer I thought I'd die..." he guffawed again, making Roxas stare at him in surprise. He had never seen the Highwind blush paint Cid out of embarrassment, only anger. But the old man looked chuffed and sheepish at once as he took off his cap and rubbed down his head again. Suddenly, his face slopped into a frown and he pierced Roxas with a hard stare.

"I am not sayin' ya need to go have sex with this girl, no siree. I had a lot of sex with only a few women in my life, got most of em pregnant, only one kept the baby an' that was your grandma. The Highwind blood makes it difficult, I know, but we are a virile pack of men an if you have sex with a girl, you better make damn sure ya want her for the rest of your life, because you are havin' her baby. Or she's having your baby, fuckin' hell..." he cackled, shaking his head as he tried rubbing the blush from his cheeks.

"But ya know? Without that blood I'd a never had your daddy. So I'm thankful for it..." suddenly Cid slopped off and glanced away. Roxas stared at him, but his pa kept his eyes on the road or on the window away. He never met Roxas' eye. It went like that for the rest of the drive until they were a block away from home. That was when Roxas asked if Ventus was always difficult. Cid snapped out of his thoughts and shrugged, sighing that Ventus was an odd duck.

"I go over in my head every day what coulda happened to make him so crazy," he whispered. Then he leaned towards Roxas in confidence. "I honestly think there's something wrong in his head, tell ya the truth, an you're never to tell him I said that. Ya know I only really got to know you boys when I took y'all in, but he was kind of off before that. He'd remind me of yourself a little bit, honestly," Cid added, striking a chord with Roxas. It echoed what Ventus had said, about Cid being nervous Roxas would turn out like him. As the boy snuggled down in his seat, he furrowed his brows. Cid shook his head and grimaced.

"That wasn't what made him odd, mind. With you, it's part of what makes ya special. But with him, it was more... _extreme,_ " he murmured. "Your ma was honestly best at dealin' with him, he took it real hard when... well, you know... but she always loved Cloud. Cloud was her pride and joy. But anyway, Ventus was much like yourself as a baby, only a little more boisterous. He was always gettin' into things he shouldn't, always roughhousin' an runnin' around, always full of energy... maybe he had a little too much energy in him... Cloud was always quiet and kept to himself... an you were sweet an cuddly, same as always... a real cuddly baby, you loved runnin' around, too, but you quieted down when you came to me... you always been a screamer, though, that ain't changed."

Roxas laughed in spite of himself. It made Cid laugh too. He continued, saying, "but when Ventus came to me, he was always between two extremes. One minute he'd be sweet and runnin' around your legs, squeezin' onto ye as if you'd disappear if he let go... an then he'd just go on a rampage; breakin' things, actin' out. I was real hard on him. I tried beatin' the devil out of him, but it just made it worse, until there was no cuddly left in him at all. He joined that varsity football team, an all of a sudden he was the center of attention after years of bein' kind of in Cloud's shadow... Cloud was just so damn cute an just attracted people to him, ya know? He's always been that way. But when Ventus played football... I swear, I never seen such talent... I was so proud... an then one day he told me that someone was bullyin' him an I asked who, an he wouldn't tell me. An I said 'why don't you hurt him? A man's hurtin' you, you have the right to hurt him back.' But he said he couldn't hurt him back. An when I asked why not, he said he didn't want to. So I said he needed to make some friends to stand up for him. An then he just started gettin' into drugs and partyin', an then... fifteen, it was right after he turned fifteen... he just fuckin' flew off the handle. Always angry, always vicious, just horrible to Cloud, to me, to your mom and dad. An then he was kicked off the team an the accident happened an everything flew to shit," Cid finished, sniffing. There was silence as they parked in front of the garage. When Roxas tried getting out of the car, Cid stopped him and looked at him, _really_ looked at him, for the first time that night. He had tears in his eyes. His Highwind blush was one of sadness. It made Roxas sad, too.

"I never want you blamin' Ventus for the way things turned out," Cid whispered. "I know deep down he blames himself. But it's my fault. I taught him to be a fighter, an now that's all he knows how to do. I tried changin' my ways with you an Cloud an he's never forgiven me for that. But if you'd known him when he was five... he was such a sweet boy, Roxas. An you're a sweet boy. You're one of the sweetest, kindest boys I ever met. An a few weeks ago you started actin' like him. So if anyone's bullyin' you an ya need help, you come to me. Please, I'm beggin' you. I can't have another Ventus on my hands."

"I know, 'pa," Roxas whispered, sniffing back a mewl climbing up his throat. This time, he refused to cry. Cid almost broke down in front of him, but held himself together by the skin of his teeth as he gripped Roxas' hand so hard it went numb.

"You know how to punch, right?" he whispered. "An you're smart, so if you're in a situation where ye can't use your fists, ye can use your words."

"I know," Roxas said. "I remember everything."

"Good," Cid whispered, patting Roxas' back and rubbing up and down. "Good. That's just swell. An that Rydia seems like a real nice gal. You're privileged to know her. She's very pretty, too," he added with a chuckle. "Hair's a little unconventional, but an unconventional girl for an unconventional boy, right?"

"She likes anime, too," Roxas offered. Cid warmed up immediately, slapping him on the back with glee.

"There ya go!" he cried. "See? There are people out there, different people, with the same interests as you, lots of people! Ya don't just have to have Pence and Hayner."

"I wasn't doing anything with Hayner, 'pa," Roxas snapped suddenly. "I was just curious and we looked something up on Cloud's computer because I was mad at him for missing my birthday."

"I know, I know," Cid said in relieved amusement. "It was a Shears moment. But I've got to punish ya for givin' in to the temptation, Roxas, ya gotta know that that sort of stuff is unnatural so ya don't fall into it again. An now that ya got Rydia, you're fifteen, you're goin' back to school... I know things aren't like they used to be when I was a kid, but get yourself a nice girl an do stuff with her, an then I'll tell ya how to protect yourself an all that."

"I know that stuff, 'pa," Roxas scowled in embarrassment. "They taught us that in sex ed."

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Cid agreed quickly. "Just in case ye want any tips, I know I'm an old fella, but just in case. Ya know ye can tell me anything, I won't judge one bit."

Roxas scoffed under his breath, kicking his cleats together under the passenger seat. Then he and Cid slipped out of the car and went inside. When Cid asked if he wanted to order pizza, he shrugged and said he didn't mind. As he climbed up the stairs, Cid called that he'd be in the shop for about an hour. When Roxas moved into the kitchen to get the delivery number, he asked if he could look through Cid's photo albums. Cid said yes. Then the bathroom door shut and locked. Roxas punched in the number for the pizza place and glanced over the specials, deciding to order two mediums and a soft drink. When he finished, he wandered into Cid's bedroom and hunted beneath the mattress for the old souvenir boxes, pulling one labeled "kids" from the far right corner. His mother had assembled all the albums, but her family didn't care for any of the Highwinds except Cloud, so Cid had kept them. Roxas unboxed the first few and glanced over them with glee. There were baby albums, one including pictures of Cid and Roxas' father as children. Roxas' mother had gotten the photos from his grandmother. They must have compiled them together. The pictures were black and white, but the grey sheen carrying from Cid's cheeks to his abdomen told Roxas that that he was the oldest living incarnation of the Highwind blush. A kid with a bandana and messy dark hair was in bunches of photos with him, so Roxas assumed that was Shears. There was one of Cid as a teenager, in color, going out to some sort of dance with a girl. He had a bit of acne on his cheeks and a smarmy grin on his face. He was wearing a ghastly red, white, and blue, horizontal striped, waist high, short sleeved sweater, a pair of denim flares with sailor buttons on the front, and patent leather shoes. Roxas clapped is hand to his mouth as he glanced it over. The girl beside looked like a deer in headlights. She was dressed in a white, a-line mini dress with a scalloped red collar and cuffs, hands at sides as if in a dance position, and toes apart at a near 180 degree angle. She had a plastic smile, big, heavy lashed eyes, and freckles across the bridge of her nose. Roxas wondered how old Cid was in that picture. He mustn't have been more than thirteen.

He skipped over the pictures of his parents and went straight to the ones of Cloud and Ventus. As he'd noticed before, they each had a separate photo album. Cloud's was filled with pictures of him as a child. Many were taken by or included their mother, a sun kissed, golden headed woman with strawberry highlights and deep blue eyes. Her hair was always tied back in some sort of ponytail, whether half, braided, or full, and she wore coke bottle glasses like Roxas from the time she was ten. Many of the pictures in Ventus' baby book were from his first year of life, a whole section dedicated to the baby shower held after he was born. Their mother sat surrounded by her family, coiffed and preened in the latest fashion, gentle, practiced smiles gracing her companions' features as if twittering and laughing for a Vogue shoot. Roxas' grandmother on his mother's side sat at her shoulder, hand on hers as she crooned for the camera. But Roxas' mother stared forward blankly, expressionless. All of her smiles in the remainder of Ventus' first year looked tired; forced. Roxas' father was in few of them, Cid even less. They were always peripheral, cooking or sharing beers or something. Every other picture was of Ventus. Roxas was struck by several things as he looked them over.

Ventus talked to himself a lot as a baby. He played alone. He learned to sit, stand, walk, and run, very early. He loved kicking balls, smiling, laughing, screaming or singing (those pictures had his face screwed up and his mouth wide open), playing with animals (there were several of him treating the neighbor's cat like a pillow, though the cat didn't seem to mind), jumping, hiding (a mischievous photo of him in some park, peeping out from a blood red oil drum as their mother hunted around for him, caught Roxas' attention immediately), playing by the sea, and hugging people's legs. He was always at someone's legs, most of the time the picture taker, who Roxas assumed was their mother. Cid's word for him- boisterous- fit well. But after his second year, the pictures petered to hardly anything. The remainder were either school pictures or pictures of he and Cloud. There was a professional one of he, Cloud, and Roxas right after the latter was born. Cloud was holding Roxas, smiling and cocking his head like a cherubim, preened and coiffed. Ventus stood behind with his arm on Cloud's shoulder, grinning so hard it almost looked painful, begging the camera to love him as much as the two boys sitting beneath. When Roxas turned the page, he saw two sheets filled with the same photographer shots, same professional background, pose, and placement for every year. The differences were fascinating. Cloud changed little. Physically, Roxas transformed from baby, to toddler, to child, happy, giggling, and leaning into Cloud's touch as if relishing the beat of the heart at his back. But Ventus' face was a whirlwind. The painful, grimacing grin deepened until he turned ten. That year he sported the same expression their mother did during his baby shower, that is to say, no expression. There was no smile. His eyes were blank. He was not present. Roxas remembered that that had been the same year Cid caught him passing around cigarettes. The next year the smile turned waxing, half assed. Then the painful, wanting grimace returned until he was fourteen. That year, he smiled with mouth closed, satisfaction and warmth painting every fiber of his being. Fifteen was the last group photo. In this, Cloud and Roxas looked miserable. Ventus stood behind them like a specter, eyes wide, brows pressed low, chin up and cocked forward, chest out and ready for a fight. His gaze was startlingly antagonistic. There was no attempt at smiling. Roxas wondered if the picture had been taken before or after he'd been kicked off the football team. He suspected after. Pursing his lips, he turned to Cloud's baby book.

This was by far the fullest of the three. His baby shower was different. Their mother looked radiant, sparkling with joy. The two of them sat in the middle of a park surrounded by friends, with a picnic basket, presents, and cake set before them like offerings. A friend must have taken these pictures, because Cid and their grandmother sat in the back arm in arm. Their mother and father kissed and fondled Cloud as if he were a puppy, cooing over him and laughing as he smiled up at them. Ventus stared over their father's shoulder, transfixed, leaning against the man's arm cheek first as if rubbing up and down. From then on he was always in the background, staring at Cloud, grimacing at the camera from the back, picking him up, being scolded for picking him up, photo bombing the frame, and anything else he could do to be part of the picture until he looked to be about ten years old. From there, Roxas glanced through his own baby book.

It was small, but a little bit bigger than Ventus'. Most of the pictures were of him as a toddler. Many included enthralled Ventus and Clouds, staring at him being fed, sleeping, having his nappy changed, and taking baths in the sink. There was even one of Ventus washing him, chin rolled to the side, lips out as if cooing in his ear. Roxas' shoulders sagged as he looked at it. The sun hit Ventus' cheek and lashes in a way that lit him from the inside, as if he glowed. He seemed so loving. Roxas as a baby stared up at him in glee, giggling and leaning back the same way he had with Cloud in the group pictures, relishing touch.

Perplexed, Roxas shut the books and returned them beneath the bed. The doorbell rung from the shop. Cid bellowed through the still broken door that he would get it. Roxas called that he was going to the bathroom. He scrambled up and lumbered from Cid's room, through the kitchen, and into the bedroom hall, slipping into the bathroom and pissing quickly. When he washed his hands at the sink, he noticed that Cid had left his flip phone on the side of the basin. He grinned as he looked down at it, sitting on the toilet seat, opening the screen up, and wandering through Cid's messages. All were work related save four conversations marked Cloud, Roxas, Ventus, and Shera. Curious, Roxas flipped through the conversation with Cloud.

 _Hey, buddy :)_ read a recent text. _You missed R on your way out. He would have liked a goodbye. Love C_

Cloud had not responded. Cid sent another text the next week.

 _Hey, buddy. Was R looking anything up on your computer? Love C_

 _Not that I know of_ Cloud had responded twenty minutes later. Roxas grinned. Despite ducking out, at least Cloud remained loyal.

 _Okay. V said he noticed him looking at weird stuff, just wanted to make sure. Love C_

 _He's fifteen and curious_ Cloud had replied. _V is jealous and makes R's life hell._

 _I'm aware, just some things have started adding up. Just don't want a repeat of V. Love C_

 _There won't be. R is nothing like V._

 _You'd be surprised._

Cloud had not responded. Cid sent another text several hours later.

 _Have you ever suspected R of being gay?_

Several hours later: _Why would it matter?_

 _You know how I feel about it._

 _I don't monitor people's sexuality._

 _I want a yes or no. Love C_

 _I don't know and I don't care._

The line went dead for almost a week. Then, yesterday Cid had sent: _Hey, buddy :) All's well on our end, just wondering about you. V moved out with some buddy, R still practicing football :) with Yuffie and a girl named Rydia, seems to have a thing for R, R and I were just talking about how to know if a girl likes you, got any suggestions on how he can approach her? I remember you being the professional but don't tell him how to break her heart ;) Love C_

Cloud had not yet responded. Roxas shook his head. When Cid clambered up the stairs and knocked on the door, Roxas called that he was pooping. Cid lumbered into the kitchen, talking to someone on the way in. No doubt the delivery guy. Roxas decided to move on to Ventus. The most recent messages were much the same.

 _Coming back?_

 _R u coming back?_

 _Where r u?_

 _Not talking?_

 _Come back and expect to pay double rent._

 _Apology necessary whenever you come back._

 _Ventus, tell me where you are._

 _Are you not coming back?_

It felt wrong looking through anything previous, not that there was much to look at to begin with. It was clear Ventus and Cid didn't talk, even through text. Just when Roxas was about to shut the phone off and take it to the kitchen, a message bleeped. When he looked at the caller ID, his brows rose in surprise. Ventus. Roxas snorted and flipped the phone up again, pulling the message up. When he saw it, he reeled back in confusion. It was an mp4 file.

 _Wait till the world sees that video._

Roxas leaned forward in remembrance, biting his lip as he tried turning the video on. Was this the one? Why else would Ventus send Cid a video, of all people? Cid hardly knew how to send a message. The diatribe the old man had texted to Cloud about Roxas and Rydia was practically his digital magnum opus. The video that came up was grainy, impossible to hear, and stopped every few seconds to load. Roxas furrowed his brows harder as he stared at it. When Cid boomed for him to hurry up and come eat, he called that he was going as fast as he could. Then he wrenched out of the bathroom and stomped down the hall. When he passed by his room, he heard a beep. Cocking his head, he flitted inside and gaped.

His phone was lying on his bed face down. But he could see the screen light flash from the covers. That happened whenever he received a message.

Curious beyond belief, he plopped down and unlocked it, discovering that his message was a video as well, also from Ventus. He grinned as he pulled it up. But when the thumbnail became visible, the smile wiped off his face. Another message blipped beneath it at the same moment Cid's phone beeped as well.

 _Thought u might like to know my favorite activity ;P_

Above it was a video of Ventus. Naked. His mouth formed into an expression Roxas had seen solely on the gay porn video he and Hayner had watched. Ventus' legs were spread apart, his stomach crunched against his ribs as if someone was lifting him up under his legs. When Roxas glanced down, his shoulders shot up in horror.

Ventus had something inside him. Something that looked like skin.

Somehow, Roxas' palm hit the play button. At first he tried to stop the video. Then he listened to the voices.

 _I now present to you, Ventus Highwind, former star striker of Twilight High, taking on a new position as goalie._

There was a moan. The first voice chuckled. Roxas strained to make it out. It had been edited with some program that made its owner unrecognizable.

 _Come on, man, just make me feel good,_ Ventus begged suddenly, in a slurring voice Roxas never knew he possessed. It was pleading. Capitulating. Gentle. _Just for a few minutes, that's it. I need that. Be a good friend, man._

 _This is what you do for your friends, right?_ said the edited voice.

For a moment Ventus fell silent. Then he chuckled in the same way he had spoken. Almost shy. The screen closed in on his face. His eyes were red and glazed. When he became aware of the camera, he scowled and batted it away, the antagonistic glare that clawed through his eyes on a daily basis returning.

 _I told you I don't like bein' filmed._

 _Tell me you're a hot faggot._

 _I'm a hot fuckin' faggot, just fuck me in the ass, already!_

Roxas deleted the video on the spot, erasing the message as well. When he got hold of Cid's phone, he did the same. For a moment he sat at the center of his bed, sickened so severely he felt like he would vomit if he stood. Cid would grow suspicious if he didn't eat dinner. Mustering up his courage, he fled back into the bathroom and patted down his face. Then he slipped Cid's phone behind the trashcan, making it look as if it had dropped from the sink. As he set his own phone back on his bed, Cid slammed into the hall and told him it was last call for pizza. When he saw him in his room with cell in hand, he scowled and waggled his finger.

"Roxas," he warned, fuming, "You make me wait on you while ya look at that piece of junk one more time, an I swear I'll smash it. I don't care if the queen of Sheba gave it to ye, it's goin' in the fuckin' trash." With that, he cocked his head and made Roxas walk ahead of him to the table. They ate pizza in silence, Roxas forcing down each bite with olympian effort. All he could think of was Ventus' pleading voice in the video, its revolting, edited companion, and the tears in his eyes when Vanitas had warned him about showing the video to the world when Roxas was hiding in the subway. Despite everything he worked through in his head, he couldn't understand it. _Ventus_ was _gay_? Not only that, he admitted to it on video? If Roxas had guessed either of his brothers to be gay, he would have said Cloud, hands down. The way Ventus talked about gay people on a daily basis... the way he treated Roxas...it just didn't make sense.

He and Cid sat on the balcony for an hour, talking about Rydia and Yuffie. Cid padded around his pockets. When he realized he didn't have his phone, he cursed and slipped inside to look for it. Roxas stared over the balcony with the strangest sense of dread mounting inside him. Suddenly, it scared him that Ventus had not responded to any of Cid's texts. Suddenly it made him want to cry. While Cid hunted around the house, he asked if he could ride his skateboard to the Item Shop for ice cream. Cid called that he had to be back in ten minutes. Roxas nodded. Then he fled to his room, shoved his phone and wallet in his pocket, grabbed his board, threw on a hoodie, and hurried for the back door.

"You need any money?" Cid asked. Roxas nodded and held out his hand. Cid lumbered down and gave him ten dollars.

"An I want that change, ya hear?" Cid warned. Roxas said he would be back soon. Then, he flew into the night, past the Item Shop, and past the tram common to Station Heights, where he boarded the red line to Sunset Station and prayed to anything that would listen to keep Ventus safe.

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 **A/N: Tell me all your thoughts/ questions/ opinions in the comments!**

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	13. The Book of Moon

**A/N: ForsakenXIII, thank you! Wait till you read this chapter. And for EVERYONE; this chapter has a lot of triggering content and may leave you feeling distraught, but I'll try to get the chapter after out as soon as possible.**

 **WARNING: Self harm, sexual assault.**

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 ** _Thirteen: The Book of Moon_**

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Roxas reached the fountain at the end of Sunset Station's tram common by ten o'clock, heart pounding, hoping Ventus would be there and that he would be willing to talk. He crossed his fingers as he hurried to the apartment complex, hitching his board under his arm as he burst through the entrance and clambered up the steps to the floor he remembered as including Vanitas' apartment. When he knocked on the door, there was silence inside. He gritted his teeth and banged again, chest puffing up with hope when he heard scuffling inside. As footsteps moved forward and a hand undid the lock, Roxas wondered if he had knocked on the wrong door. Then it opened and a dull set of amber eyes stared out at him. Roxas' shoulders sagged. The amber eyes widened in surprise. Then narrowed.

"Hello, Roxas," greeted Vanitas. "What brings you here?"

Roxas peered around Vanitas' shoulder and frowned. Save for him, the apartment seemed empty. When Vanitas' chest blocked his view, Roxas jumped to his tiptoes and called Ventus' name. When Ventus would not answer, he screamed it. Vanitas grabbed him around the collar and wrenched him forward, pulling him into the living room and cupping his hand over his mouth. Roxas struggled against him in shock, kicking and wiggling back and forth until Vanitas launched him into the room's center and locked the door behind. When Roxas swiveled around, Vanitas held up his hands and called for armistice. He snickered as Roxas backed away.

"Relax, kid," he murmured, moving past Roxas to his coffee table, where a mound of white powder was set between two empty beer cans. "Just rather you didn't cause a scene in the middle of the hall. Thanks to Ventus, I already have a noise complaint." Roxas watched in morbid curiosity as Vanitas slipped a credit card from his pocket and set the powder in a line. When his amber eyes moved up and met Roxas', Roxas whipped his glance away. Vanitas chuckled and indicated the line, asking if Roxas wanted to try it. Roxas shook his head quickly. He was sweating in weird places again. But this time, it wasn't from shyness or arousal. He felt terrified, more terrified than he had ever felt in his life, even more terrified than when he had been stuck in the sea. If Vanitas moved any closer, he would have pissed himself.

"Can I use your bathroom?" he asked. Vanitas nodded and pointed to it. Roxas would have to go through the bedroom to get there. He set his jaw and hurried forward, watching Vanitas over his shoulder. The man stared at him before bending over the line of powder and sniffing it up. Roxas wrinkled his nose and continued, staring around the floor as he passed. It was littered with clothes, none of them Ventus'. There was no sign of the man's presence at all, as if he had never stayed with Vanitas in the first place. Roxas frowned and slipped into the toilet, locking the door behind him, unzipping his pants, and pissing with a sigh. When he finished he flushed, washed his hands, and searched around the tub and cupboards, filthy dirty but otherwise unremarkable. Just as he was about to leave, he noticed blond hairs stuck around the drain in the bath's basin, the same shade as his. He pursed his lips and hunted around the sink, figuring out that the mirror opened into a medicine cabinet. When he hunted through it, he found antidepressants made out under Vanitas' name along with some kind of stimulant. Other than that there was toothpaste, one toothbrush, floss, and a grubby retainer box. Roxas scowled, shut the cabinet, and unlocked and opened the bathroom door. He was glad he pissed when he did. Vanitas was blocking his path, leaned against the doorframe waiting for him. When the black haired man raised a brow, Roxas mustered the little courage he had, hid his shaking hands behind his back, and demanded that Vanitas tell him where Ventus went.

"What do you mean, Roxas?" Vanitas said innocently. Roxas asked when the last time he had a shower was. Vanitas' eyes widened with glee. "Why?" he asked, leaning closer and winking. "Do I smell?"

"I just want to know," Roxas insisted. Vanitas shrugged and said he had a wash that morning. "But I've been working in irrigation and moving old junk today, so I must be ripe. I can have one now, if you want," he added, removing his shirt before Roxas' very eyes. The boy reeled back, realizing too late that he'd backed into the bathroom and that Vanitas had followed him in. As the man moved to undo his pants, Roxas hissed that he just wanted the truth about the last time Ventus was in the apartment. When Vanitas glanced up in curiosity, Roxas blabbered, "I know he's been here within the last few hours because his hairs are in the bath."

"Yeah," Vanitas nodded, watching as Roxas inched to the door. "He had a wash after me."

"Why is he gone?" Roxas demanded. Vanitas shrugged. "Dunno. He gathered his stuff and told me he was moving out."

Roxas' hand fell from the doorknob. "What?" he snapped. "Moving where?"

"I assumed back home," Vanitas said, taking a slow glance down Roxas' torso. "But I see that hasn't happened."

"How does someone's roommate not know where they're going?" Roxas whined, running his fingers through his hair. "Do you not talk at all, or something?"

"We had a bit of a fight earlier on," murmured Vanitas, winking again and adding, "dumb shit: what's his, mine, and ours. A video."

Roxas ignored the comment and cinched his eyes shut, wracking his brains for something to pin his brother down. Caving, he asked the question that had been tormenting him for hours.

"Do you think he's planning to hurt himself?"

Vanitas cocked his head back and moved down his mouth in a "could be" gesture, running his thumb and forefinger across his chin in thought. Roxas held his breath as his amber eyes rolled back and forth. When they centered on him again, they were penetrating.

"Dunno," he grinned, furrowing his brows with concern. "He did have some nasty gashes on his thighs. I assumed he used to cut, but I never asked. Everyone has demons, you know? Didn't want to be rude," he insisted, winking and grinning warmer. Roxas stared him down in revulsion, fuming and shaking with terror. Like a firecracker he swiveled, tore the doorknob towards him, and barreled out of the bathroom, ducking and bounding around the bedroom in mad search. After tearing through every piece of clothing and paper he could find, he had a brilliant idea.

"Where's his car?" he asked. When Vanitas leaned out of the bathroom and cocked his head to the side, Roxas asked if Vanitas saw him leave and what direction the car went in. Vanitas said he hadn't seen him leave. Roxas cursed under his breath and dug his fingers through his hair again. The car. He knew there was something important about the car. He shut his eyes tight and tried remembering what make it was. Something with a shh sound.

"Do you remember what type of truck he had?" he pleaded.

"Chevy pickup," Vanitas chirped, grinning wider. "You should know that, Rox."

Roxas bit his lip and whispered, "Chevy pickup" to himself over and over. Then he mumbled, "self harm, self harm, self harm."

"I think he took a pack of beer with him," Vanitas drawled. "I'm missing one from my fridge."

Alcohol. Cutting. Chevy pickup.

 _I hope you die!_ Roxas' own voice roared in his head. _I wish you were never born! I hope you kill yourself!_ As the memory echoed, his eyes widened. He clapped his hands to his temple in horror, whimpering as things started adding up. He hoped dearly that he was wrong, that he was just overreacting. Biting his nails, he forced himself to imagine what he would do if he wanted to kill himself.

 _I'd do it in a remote location, where no one could find me. I'd get rid of everything I didn't need. I'd give my stuff away._

"Did he give you anything?" Roxas asked in desperation. Vanitas shook his head. Roxas cursed and shuffled from foot to foot. Then, another brilliant idea hit him. He asked if Vanitas had a computer. Vanitas nodded and moved around his coffee table again, extricating his laptop from beneath an old bag of chips. He opened it up and typed in his passcode, shifting away so that Roxas could sit at his side. Roxas whipped forward and knelt on the floor, typing furiously into the Google search bar. Vanitas scooted so close he sat with his knees on either of Roxas' sides. Roxas felt the man's shoes touch his calves. Vanitas' hand reached out and brushed the back of his neck. His fingers tugged down the hem of his shirt, examining the skin beneath the nape. Roxas fidgeted forward and forced himself to focus. When craigslist popped up, he searched recent Chevy pickups for sale. Sure enough, Ventus' or one much like it was the first result. '93 Chevy Pickup. 190,545 miles. Reliable. Break pads replaced two months ago. Inside cleaned. Refurbished. Meet at the Pier, Twilight Beach, South Walk, near the frozen ice house, 1800 Sunset Lane, Twilight Town, 760-2000. Schedule available upon request. $900. Cash only.

Twilight Beach.

Roxas gasped in thanks and scribbled the location on his arm, counting the rest of his money to see if he had enough to take him to the beach. He ignored when Vanitas reached down and slipped his hand around his collar, stroking his chin as he leaned close. The pier. A walk away from the marina. On sudden inspiration, Roxas looked up sales for boats. When he stumbled upon the latest, he hissed in self-congratulation.

Someone was selling a medium sized speedboat, "safely seats four, but big enough for seven if you bring life vests!" for $850. They left it docked in the Twilight Beach Marina, 1813 Sunset Lane. Roxas shoved his phone in his pocket and heaved himself up. Vanitas' arm kept him down. As he tumbled back in confusion, he felt a peck on his ear. He whipped around in fright, cowering from Vanitas' face, inches close. The man's eyes glazed and widened. Then they refocused. He grinned and cocked his head towards the coffee table, to the beer bottles between which had sat the white powder.

"Sure you don't want a line?" he whispered against Roxas' skin. "Gotta try it once. It's like a shot of coffee, just a little stronger. We'll have fun."

"I don't want it," Roxas intoned. "I need to help my brother. He's in danger."

"You're a smart kid," Vanitas tried, rolling his thumb behind Roxas' ear as he leaned towards him again. "You're like a little Sherlock Holmes." When he laughed, Roxas cringed. Before he could make an excuse, the man pressed himself against him and got hold of the back of his head. When Roxas stared at him in shock, Vanitas smirked.

"Remember that game we played in your room?" he asked, winking. "Let's play again."

Before Roxas could object, the man stuck his tongue in his mouth. When Roxas struggled, he clamped on tighter. With one hand the man held his head. With the other he tried prying Roxas' legs apart so that he could move between them. Roxas let him, staring wildly around the room for something to help him. When he felt something hard press between his thighs the same as the time Sora had laid on top of him, he snapped and bit the man's tongue as hard as he could. Vanitas yelped and leered back, raising his hand to his mouth in shock. Roxas pressed his left foot against Vanitas' hip and veered away from him onto the couch. With his right, he kicked him in the balls. Vanitas barked and clapped his hands between his legs. Roxas sailed over him, unlocked the door, and fired out, not looking behind until he was out of the complex and on the tram. He hunkered down as Vanitas roared onto the complex's front porch. The ravenet scoured the area surrounding the fountain, livid, spitting curses and threats with each stomp. By the time he gave up, Roxas was already halfway to Sunset Station. The minute he was safely on the red line to the beach, he snuggled into a seat at the back of the car, pulled up his hood, and tried picturing what Ventus was doing. Mind blank, he tapped open his phone in the hopes of researching suicide statistics. Instead, he was inundated with texts and calls from Cid.

 _Taking pretty long, Rox. Hurry up._

 _Where r u?_

 _I'll beat the hell out of u when you get home if u don't tell me where u r._

 _Ur scaring the phooey out of me._

 _Tell me wher I'll call the cops._

 _ROXAS HIGHWIND WHERE ARE YOU?_

Roxas groaned, biting his lip before texting that he was trying to find Ventus. Seconds later, he got a rather spirited response.

 _THE FUCK?! I DN'T CREATE IF UR TRAIN T FNID UR BRIAN UP UR AS, GET HOME!_

Then: _Call me NOW._

Biting his lip and deciding it was for the best, Roxas caved and pressed call. When Cid answered he was slurring, croaking, and probably spitting he was so livid.

 _What in the absolute fuck are ya playin' at, Roxas?_ He roared. _I tell ya ye can get ice cream and ya ride half way aroun' the world, scare me to death, and then tell me some bullshit about huntin' down your brother?_

"Pa, I think he's going to hurt himself," Roxas whined. "I got a weird text from him and it got me worried."

 _What text? I didn't get no text._

Stopping himself on the verge of telling Cid about the video, Roxas blubbered that it was a goodbye. Wincing at the ensuing silence across the line, he prayed under his breath for forgiveness for lying. When Cid responded, he was dangerously cool.

 _Excuse me?_

"He told me goodbye and- and said to tell everyone he loved them," Roxas lied again.

 _Ventus ain't never told anyone he loved 'em,_ Cid grumbled. Roxas ignored him and continued that Ventus had sold his car and bought a speedboat.

"I don't know what he's planning, pa, but I'm really scared," Roxas croaked. "I think you should call the Coast Guard."

 _Roxas, I'm about to call the police on your ass if ya don't come home this minute!_

As Cid gave him reasons to return to the shop, Roxas ran through his head ways that Ventus could hurt himself. A gun? Unlikely, since Ventus hadn't held a firearm since skeet shooting with Cid as a child. Crashing his car? No, he had sold it. Suffocation? Then why had he bought a speedboat?

Drowning?

For some reason, the childhood picture of Ventus, golden hair and sparkling blue eyes, peeping out of the crimson drum while his mother sought him out, settled like a gash over Roxas' heart. Cutting. The ocean. What the hell was his brother playing at? Blanching, Roxas returned to the receiver.

"I'm going to Twilight Beach, pa," he intoned. "Send the Coast Guard to the Marina, 1813 Sunset Lane, and tell them to scour the area for a Gaia Skiff, 17DX, 1979 edition. That's where he'll be."

 _Roxas,_ Cid tried to scream, but by then Roxas had shut off his phone and set his sights on his destination two stops ahead. Just then, an announcement came over the speakers at the car's front.

 _Attention all passengers,_ it sang, _this is Twilight Town Police and Coastguard sending an announcement to all carriers. Amber Alert released for Roxas Highwind, age fifteen, 5'8", Caucasian, thin build with blond hair and blue eyes, in jeans and a black hoodie. Extreme danger to himself and others. If you or someone you know spots a boy of that description near Twilight Beach Marina, please call X-I-I-I to speak to your local law enforcement official._

"The fuck?" Roxas whispered, floored that Cid was so fast. When he realized the man could not have possibly called the Coastguard while on the phone already, he blanched again. Vanitas.

"Motherfucker," Roxas snarled to himself, hands shaking as he hunkered as low as possible. Thankful that he was the only one in this train car but painfully aware of the several passengers in the car just ahead, he crossed his fingers and prayed no one was listening. He should have known not to let Vanitas see where he was going. He should have anticipated his vindictive nature. But now it was too late. When he realized that Cid was still on the phone, he blinked in realization.

Perhaps it wasn't a bad thing that the police were looking for him. As long as he reached Ventus, then that meant they would, too.

Realizing how important it was to get to him, Roxas told Cid he would call him later and clicked off his phone. Then, he waited till he reached one stop before the marina and scrambled off, stifling a scream when he spotted three police officers patrolling the area. When he snuck out of the train station, his jaw dropped.

Five patrol cars sat out front, with officers lounging on the hoods chatting. Gulping and remembering how he had slipped away from the football team during the summer, Roxas hunkered down, breathed out his existence, and breathed in his surroundings. Then, set, he walked fast yet unassuming as possible until he left the station-parking garage completely, crossed the road, and tread the asphalt path leading around the beach. He could spot the marina in the distance, its parking lot filled with white cars and twinkling blue and red lights. He could even hear a helicopter in the distance. Wincing, he left the path completely and scaled down the beach grass and cliffs beside, passing shale clad caves and igneous rock formations on nimble feet. When he was under the safety of the ocean spray and stones beside, he began running, hopping from peak to peak like a goat. The frozen-ice house rose and shrunk as he passed, the south walk visible overhead. Finally, the stone column he had walked and jumped from so many moons ago raised in the distance, stark and black against the night sky, the water surrounding thunderous and high. Soon, low tide would return and drag Ventus' skiff farther than anyone would be able to find. Roxas climbed the cliff side and ran towards the asphalt above, searching for Ventus' car. Failing to find anything but old beer cans and broken glass, he hopped down the rocks again and continued on, scouring the ocean, praying for a boat. There was nothing. Just stone and endless, ink black waves.

"Ventus, please!" Roxas screamed in anguish, charging faster and gasping as he tripped and slammed against a shale formation before him. Hissing and rising, he limped onward until he reached the next pier over, where several dinghies jostled and bumped side by side. The tide burst around them, groaning and snarling like wolves. Roxas dashed by and ascended the pier in silence, peeping from one skiff to the next to see if anyone was around. When he noticed a tiny skiff holding a sleeping man like a caterpillar in a cocoon, he bounded to his side and called out, "mister!" The man jolted up and croaked gibberish. When Roxas was close enough to focus on, the stranger rubbed his eyes and asked what he wanted. His heavy slur told Roxas he was blind drunk.

"Whatimeizzit?" he blubbered.

"Can I use your boat, mister?" Roxas called over him, clutching the dinghy's side in desperation. The man blinked over watery blue irises, confused. Roxas gritted his teeth and repeated himself, mincing out each word as if it would cut the air. The drunkard opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish; lapping up each precious moment Roxas hung on his breath. Finally, breaking, Roxas scrambled over him and padded around the boat's interior undaunted. As he moved, the man stared over him and squawked in surprise. Then, as if in acceptance, he settled back, tucked in his chin, crossed his arms like a corpse, and seemed to fall asleep again.

Wiping the sweat from his forehead, Roxas scoured around the boat in an effort to figure out how to start it. Thankfully, it had a pull start motor. A small hook sprung from its bow like a wishbone shaped horn, and attached to it was a rotating flashlight. When Roxas clicked it on, it sputtered in and out, its gaze weak. He called behind him, asking the man if he had keys. There was no response. Biting his lip, Roxas tugged on the drawstrings of his hoodie, wondering how to start the engine with no rope. Then, glancing down, he gasped, tore the string from his jacket, and scrambled with it towards the motor, remembering the countless times during his childhood he had seen Cid show Cloud how to rev his old motorcycle. Then, twining the rope around the engine wheel, he bit his lip, crossed his toes, and pulled. The rope jutted and the engine glugged. Mad with defeat, Roxas attempted again. The string broke. Choking, he curved around the remainder with laser like precision and waited. Then, sucking in a deep breath, he pulled again. The engine choked and coughed. Then, whining and drilling, it started, the motor twirling through the water behind the dinghy faster and faster. Scrambling with shaking limbs, Roxas undid the rope holding the boat to the pier and pushed off; thanking his lucky stars as the vessel puttered into black, open water.

Thus began an endless journey into darkness. Roxas scoured the water back and forth for what felt like hours, increasingly exhausted by the sound of helicopters overhead, the blink of red lights in the distance, and the weak glow of the dinghy flashlight that moved back and forth like a pendulum, the occasional mutter of the drunkard beside mirroring its sway like a ticking clock. "Can' live without 'er," the man grumbled in his sleep, reassuring Roxas he was alive. "Like uh brother, mother, anfadermorangohome…" When a helicopter that shone like starlight got too close for comfort, Roxas scrambled down and hid at the man's side. The metal wings thundered overhead, circling farther on the sea. Then, they disappeared. Roxas sighed in relief, slipping to the bow railing and peering over the rungs. The engine puttered ominously. The man snorted, asking in an astonishingly clear voice if Fran would love him if she new what he was really like. Roxas gritted his teeth at the nightmare lke absurdity of the situation and steered the boat on, eyes drooping as he followed the flashlight's yellow bauble glow. When it flickered on something dark and lonely in the distance, he furrowed his brows. When the light flashed again, he gasped. Out, quiet in the center of the water, was a small, empty speedboat.

"Motherfucker," he gasped to himself, heart pounding as he forced the boat around. Just as he veered, the engine hacked and sputtered to a halt. Gasping in confusion, Roxas unhooked the flashlight from its perch and scrambled back to take a look. Smoke billowed from the engine's center. Hissing, he padded around for some sort of string. There was nothing. Screaming, "fuck!" again, he hurried back to the hull and stared at the vessel ahead, biting his lip when he saw that it was a Gaia Skiff, 17DX, 1979 edition. The way it drifted, so quiet and empty in the middle of so much black, wasn't right. Roxas had been terrified of the ocean when Sora dumped him in, when it was just a rush of liquid, endless blue. But it scared him most now, especially when the flashlight illuminated a mere fraction of its depths.

Whimpering in terror, he reached down his hand and let it fall through. Liquid ice ate it up, along with the caress of weeds and particles of dirt. Roxas cringed against the sensation and paddled forward, digging the boat with all his might towards the skiff. But every inch of approach seemed to draw the mystery vessel further away. Roxas tore his hand from the water and clutched it to his chest, clawing his other through his hair in indecision. Biting his lip, he swiveled the flashlight forward so that it settled on the Gaia skiff's bow. Aside from its emptiness, there was nothing remarkable about it. Nothing from its interior was visible. Neither was its rear. Was Ventus lying inside, as corpselike as the drunkard at Roxas' side? Or would the boat be as empty as he imagined it to be, Ventus a mere mirage, a man that had never really existed at all, only in Roxas' memory? Or would Roxas somehow reach home and see his older brother waiting for him, waiting to bully and tell him how worthless he was?

Sobbing in defeat, Roxas pounded his fists against his forehead, cursing himself for being so stupid. Perhaps everything had been a trap, or a dream. Perhaps he was going crazy. Perhaps he was still in bed, and this was a nightmare that he would soon wake from. Perhaps not. There was only one way to be sure.

Helicopter wings buzzed overhead again. A strong light dashed across the waves like a portable moonbeam, centering on Roxas' cheek before disappearing in the distance yet again. As it zipped over the Gaia skiff, Roxas froze, a splash of color at the skiff's side lighting up a recent memory, the picture of Ventus inside the crimson oil drum, hiding. Scrambling up as if possessed, he tore off his hoodie, shirt, and trousers. Then, forming himself into a point, he climbed to the edge of the drunkard's dinghy, focused inward, and dived.

Biting cold sliced around his body as he descended, the tide gentle but looming. As he forced his eyes open, he begged his mind to work as well. He may as well have been blind. On he crept into the void. When he glanced up again, the white bottom of a boat bobbed overheard like a fat gull, flitting this way and that, a white dot unanchored and unbound in a forest of darkness. Shivering, Roxas swam up to it and broke surface at its side, heaving himself over its port and scrambling inside. Littering its bowels was a flashlight, a plastic bag, and crumpled beer cans. When Roxas looked closer, he swore that the flashlight was one of Cid's. After clicking it on, he grabbed up the plastic and read its label. "Instant Mortar." His toes curled around crumbled, jagged stone. When he pointed the flashlight down, he saw that it was hardened bits of concrete. The debris lay strewn across the entire vessel, studding beer cans with carbuncles, scabbing the dented, askew propeller, and giving the dark, gleaming pin pricks dotted throughout a gut like look. When he tried deciding what color the gut like specks were, and why they grew bigger and bigger until they dribbled like snot down the skiff's stern, his mind went blank. The helicopter wings returned again, this time accompanied by the bleat of a much larger vessel. Grabbing the Gaia skiff flashlight and steeling himself, Roxas dived headfirst into the water again. In its glow he noticed a white paddle studded with mottled grey. A plastic, scarred gallon container floated ahead like a magnifying glass surrounded by black, dragged past Roxas' shoulder in the direction of the shore. High tide had come. If anywhere, Ventus lied ahead.

Gulping, Roxas stared forward, pointed his flashlight, and swam. It was terrifying gliding through slowly churning nothingness; the greenish, algae infested glow the only visible thing before him. When the head of a long snouted fish zipped inches from his chest, he flailed backwards, screeched bubbles, and watched as the creature turned, flicked its horizontally moving dorsal, and disappeared. Roxas sailed upwards and broke surface, turning and waving his flashlight back and forth. The vessel he'd heard approaching before bleated again, the big, red _Coastguard_ symbol blaring from its side as if it were a brand. Gritting his teeth in anxiety, Roas dived again. This time, he went so deep he felt his lungs shrink and his ears pop under the rising pressure. Seaweed, trash, and broken reef surrounded, along with the glowing eyes of beings he could not make out. Trying his best to ignore them, he swum further, until the only thing he sensed was the tug and pull of his arms through the water and the beat of his heart. It thudded as if trapped in jello or coiled beneath a blanket: musty, fuzzy, and muffled. Roxas rose and broke surface again, waving down the coastguard vessel and waiting for its approach. Someone on speakerphone called out to him. Black figures lined its front like shadows, hauling around plastic tubing and big, silver tanks. Biting back a sob and pleading Ventus to let him find him, Roxas dived yet again; going so deep he clamped the flashlight in his mouth and crawled along the weeded ground. As he swept his head back and forth, something red and metal caught his eye. It looked like the tip of a lunchbox, lodged in a black swirl of sand past a tangled patch of weeds to Roxas' right. When he crawled further towards it, lungs screaming for air, he realized that the black sand was a hole, and the red lunchbox the handle of a rusted oil drum.

Sure he was dreaming but unable to wake up, he scrambled towards it and dug his nails around the rim. Tugging proved useless. The lid would not budge. As his throat burned and begged for air, Roxas lost his sight completely, gritted his teeth, and swam up, breaking surface and gasping shuddering breaths. When he raised his arm to wave the flashlight, he realized he had lost it. Screaming, he flailed his arms back and forth, sobbing when the coastguard vessel caught sight of him and charged forward. When its speaker thundered again and a red and white donut spiraled and slapped against the water before him, he shook his head, glanced down, and dived one, final time.

There was no use in opening his eyes. Everything was black. All he could feel was deepening cold, algae, loose moss, and further down, stone and weed. He padded this way and that, reaching into deep spaces and clutching around. When his arm dug down into bitter cold, he knew he had found the hole again. His whole body pumped like one vein, arms scouring for the drum. When he caught hold of it, he nearly gasped. Then, clenching his nails around the lid, he tugged. Nothing happened. Far above, he heard a whistle and pop. When he opened his eyes, the water glowed red from a sparkling flare. Then, black. Plops like falling coins echoed through the water behind, one after the other. In the waning light, darkness shrouded his mind as intensely as the nothingness surrounding his body. What if this was all for naught? How did he get in his head that Ventus was down here, anyway? When he lifted the lid off the drum, if he could lift the lid off the drum, would his brother be inside? Or would there be nothing left at all? The thought made his skin go numb.

Begging himself to last a little longer and shaking his head against the stars invading his vision, he scraped along the lid, ravenous for a way in. Then, with terror tugging his heart and lungs, he gritted his teeth, positioned his feet, and dug until his nails bent and curled backwards, heaving back with all his might. Opening the drum was like opening one of Cid's oilcans without a wrench, but twice as impossible. Suddenly, snaking, clothed fingers crept up Roxas' arms. When he glanced over his shoulder, goggles with blinking brown eyes and flurries of bubbles greeted him. More goggled eyes crept in front and at his sides. Their limbs dug around his arms and pulled. Horrified, Roxas clamped around the drum lid handle and curled against it, refusing to let go. The weaker his arms, the stronger his grip became. The surrounding beings tugged fruitlessly. A strong light beamed against him, making him wince. Then, someone's voice rang out, distorted over water and mechanical buzzing.

 _"We've got something down here."_

Static. A shadow passed overhead, and when Roxas blinked up, he realized it was the coastguard vessel. From it side lowered a strange, metal coil. Soon Roxas realized it was a hook. As the beings surrounding brought it down, he let go. The hook replaced his hand, curling around the lid. Then, it pulled. The whine of metal scraping metal groaned through the water surrounding. The lid popped. Something warm gushed up around its crevices. Then, it gave. Roxas scrambled forward and reached inside, padding further and further down until something soft, like human hair, met his grip.

He froze. More arms gathered around him. A tube reached out. Instinctively Roxas clutched it to his mouth and sucked in, the burst of oxygen shocking him into a coma. When he woke again, he was being pulled from the waves onto the back of the coastguard vessel. Voices rang up around him, hurrying back and forth. He glanced to the person closest. When he centered on the being's closed, sunken eyes, he gasped.

Ventus laid at his side like a pale doll, crumpled, thin, and surrounded by people. When Roxas noticed the stillness of his nostrils and the blue of his lips, he wailed and padded forward in oblivion, screaming for help. The drunkard's boat was nowhere in sight. Helicopter wings blazed overhead. Blinding white light fell from the sky. A stretcher fell and Ventus was heaped into it. Roxas watched, aghast, as it was clamped shut and lifted with another hook into the air. Ventus rose like a strange angel into the heavens, smaller and smaller until he was nothing but a speck. The last Roxas saw of the helicopter were the blinking red lights lining its back, red as the drum against a sea of endless black.

•∞•

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	14. Change of Heart

**A/N: Thank you so much everyone for your reviews (aka ForsakenXIII and AkumaDGod) they make me so happy T.T Happy reading!**

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 ** _Fourteen: Change of Heart_**

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The time between Roxas' touchdown on the Coastguard rescue boat and his arrival at Twilight Town hospital may as well have been spent in a box. In his memory, it was a blood red knot of anxiety, regret, and confusion, mostly consisting of crossed limbs and chants begging for Ventus to be all right. If Roxas hadn't been numb from terror, he would have given his brother ten points for imagination. But instead he stared forward like a doll with mouth ajar, feeling nothing, obedient to everything except the suggestion to ride in an ambulance. Instead, he received a police escort from the red marina line to the green line that stopped outside the hospital. When he stumbled from the subway platform up the steps to the hospital entrance, he lumbered through the double doors, winced at the beaming, unnatural lighting, and asked for Ventus Highwind at the front desk. The receptionist blubbered and gaped when he saw the huddle of police and Coastguard agents tromping in behind. A woman with slicked back brown hair whispered for him to phone it in. When he broke from the receiver and murmured that Ventus Highwind was in the ICU, Roxas clutched the desktop and leaned against the wall to stop his legs from buckling. When he broke into sobs, the receptionist's eyes widened and attracted to the police officer patrolling the waiting room beside. The officer cocked his head and sidled forward, asking in a gruff voice for Roxas' name.

"I-I'm his brother," Roxas whined into the wall, sniffling and rubbing his nose against the paint. When the coastguard employee asked if he wanted a bottle of water, he shook his head and nearly tripped into the officer's arms. After signing him in, the man brought him to an empty chair, dismissed the other agents, and pointed to his hands.

"What happened to those?" he snapped, wincing at the red stained temporary bandages in distaste. Roxas shook his head and mumbled that he was fine, collapsing against the seat back and shutting his eyes.

"Who's your emergency contact?"

"Pa."

"What's his name and phone number?"

"Cid."

"Full name?"

"Highwind."

"Cid Highwind? What's his phone number? Phone-num-ber, Minerva, kid," the officer snapped, clapping his hands in Roxas' face. Roxas jolted and slurred, "36-10-5997."

"Area code?"

"007."

"Hah. Very funny."

"Rude, they said he's already been called."

As Roxas croaked that he was serious, the receptionist and officer on duty spoke in hushed tones. Harrumphing, the officer lumbered back to Roxas' side and asked if the boy wanted to talk to his pa. Roxas nodded, waiting as the officer punched his number into his phone. When the line went from dial tone to muffled croaking, the officer straightened his back, set his hand on his hip, and sucked up the snot pooling at the base of his nose enough to say hello.

"Cid Highwind," he announced. "Officer Rude speaking. Calling from the waiting room of Twilight Hospital. I have your grandson Roxas in custody."

A garbled, high-pitched whine blared across the line. Rude winced and moved the phone further from his ear, nodding as he listened at a distance.

"Yes, sir, he is sitting in the waiting room as we speak. Experiencing chills, dizziness, has bandages across his fingers. What is your location?"

As Cid barked across the phone, the receptionist dialed for a doctor. When Cid asked if he could speak to Roxas, the officer took another look at the boy before deciding out loud that it might not be for the best. Roars rumbled through the receiver. The officer turned and asked if Roxas knew why Ventus was in the hospital. When Roxas slurred that he had tried to kill himself, the receptionist at the front desk winced and said that motive was "unconfirmed," as of now. Officer Rude ignored him and barked, "yes, Mr. Highwind, it appears we have an attempted suicide on our hands."

For a moment there was silence. Then gibberish. Rude nodded and announced, "Sir, it would appear your grandson attempted to kill himself."

Caustic silence bleeped across the line. Then a cry like a cat being dragged through the street echoed and made Rude jump in fright. There must have been a round of expletives after that, because Rude repeatedly reminded Cid to watch his language and resume a calm, legible pattern of speech. Roxas fell into a light sleep through the next part of their conversation, waking when a doctor came by and asked to look at his hands. Roxas nodded and stumbled with her into an examination room nearby, flopping on the bed and conking out the minute she started putting gloves on. When he awoke again, she was shaking his shoulder and telling him that his grandfather was there to see him. Groggily, Roxas followed her back to the waiting room, where Cid paced like a maniac, eyes bursting red, chin scruffy with a five o'clock shadow, and hair askew. When he saw Roxas he jumped and charged towards him, embracing him and pumping him in the back with muffled sobs. Roxas clutched him back and nearly collapsed again, making the man gasp and bring him to a chair. Roxas thanked the doctor when she brought him a glass of water. When she left, he snuggled against Cid's shoulder and relished when the man patted his head. As usual, his pa stunk of smoke. It was also painfully obvious through smell and sight that he was royally drunk. For a while the pair sat side by side in silence, staring at the opposite wall. As Cid moved from drunk to hung-over, he muttered that he was going to the vending machine. Roxas nodded, but when Cid left his sight, he whimpered and stumbled after him, terrified of being alone. In the end they chose a bag of Doritos, a three musketeers bar, a pack of juicy fruit gum, a can of Monster, and a big bottle of water. After drinking the Monster, Roxas transformed from boy to live wire, hopping up, circling the waiting room in manic curiosity, flipping through magazines, peeping around chairs, and messing with a box of tissues and a lamp in the corner. When Cid snapped for him to calm himself, Roxas sat at his side and leaned his head against the man's shoulder. For both of them, the high ended fast. As Roxas drooled and slept on his stomach, Cid sniffed, rubbed his nose viciously, and leaned against Roxas' side, slipping his hand around his shoulder and tracing up and down.

"Ye can sleep with me tonight, if ya like," he offered. "That is, if we get home anytime soon."

"Okay," Roxas yawned, only half awake. The hour after, a woman in labor burst through. Then a boy with a broken arm. When Cid lumbered up to ask if he could take Roxas home, the receptionist stuttered that they would have to wait.

"On who the hell's authority?" snapped Cid. When the receptionist glanced warily to the officer on duty, Cid understood something Roxas couldn't. Just as the old man prepared to object, another white jacket burst in with a woman in a black suit and tie. Their cautionary, pitying smiles made Roxas want to vomit. Cid leaned towards them and clasped his hands, asking in a whisper if they had come for Ventus. The women exchanged glances. The one on the left, clad in white, asked for Cid Highwind. Cid nodded in irritation, demanding to know how his grandson was doing. For a moment the doctor's mouth wavered, choosing the right words. She glanced to her side. The black suit narrowed her eyes but nodded.

"He's being cared for," the doctor finally stated. "We can't make any promises past that. The pressure of the water and temperature outside the drum helped slow the bleeding, but he went a long time with insufficient blood flow to his brain and extremities."

"Blood?" Roxas whispered in a voice outside himself. A memory of the gut like studs of concrete lining the Gaia Skiff returned to his head. Blood. That had been what dyed them so intensely.

"The lack of oxygen forced him into a coma," the doctor continued. "If and when he wakes, he will need therapy for his hands. In that case, we would suggest keeping him here for at least another day, and then… we would discuss options after that."

Roxas perked up in hope. Another day? That meant…

The pair nodded together, hearts pumping as Cid whispered that they could keep Ventus however long they needed to. The doctor winced and added that they could discuss payment options later on. Then, she turned to Roxas with a smile. "My colleague tells me you dived in after him?" she asked.

Gulping, Roxas nodded. The doctor beamed.

"You lost a few fingernails, apparently. If possible, I'd like to check you again. Talk about treatment options. Consult an officer," she murmured, cocking her head gently towards the woman with slicked back, blond hair and a golden badge on the front of her dress suit. When she gave a short curtsy, Cid sprang up like a Meerkat. "Would you mind that?" After silence, the black suited detective added to Roxas, "it could really help your brother."

Roxas blinked in surprise, stomach twisting when Cid conceded that it was fine. He gulped as he followed the doctor and detective into an examination room, eyelids drooping when they asked him a number of questions about what had happened. When had Ventus last been seen? Where? How did Roxas know to look on craigslist? How did he know what Ventus was planning? How could he possibly have found him at all? After answering, they took his blood pressure, a blood sample, tested his breathing, and a number of other things he was too tired to question. After that, Cid was called in, and the situation was explained in full, along with financial mumbo jumbo that made Roxas confused and Cid look like he'd popped an ulcer. As he listened, he nodded like a robot, up and down, cogs jumping and hitching with each creak.

When they finished, they asked if Roxas and Cid wanted to stay in an empty bed. Roxas opened his mouth to shout yes, but Cid clamped his shoulder and whispered that they would be fine. Instead, they returned to the waiting room and slept there. When the sun dawned they went to Waffle House for breakfast, Cid remaining calm when Roxas broached that he had lost his phone in the sea. It seemed the man was in a state of shock; not believing Ventus had the desire or gumption to do what the doctors were saying he had done, or that he had actually survived intact. Still, the pair returned to the hospital and waited again, Cid calling the shop and telling one of his guys to take over for him. At twelve o'clock, the doctors informed them that Ventus had regained consciousness. Five hours later, just as the clock struck five, a different doctor gave them permission to visit.

They traipsed down the hall to a room filled with cots. Ventus sat on the far right by the window, staring out with his back turned to the door, arms concealed in front of him. His hospital gown hung askew: bare back exposed, the bones of his spine pressing through his tan skin, the twilight giving him a soft, ethereal glow, like a mirage, or a memory. He looked as if he had stumbled in and sat down by accident. But when Roxas looked closely, he saw the bandages spanning his fingers to his elbows.

Ventus didn't move when Cid and Roxas tiptoed towards him. Roxas held his breath with each step, afraid that he would get close enough to realize that the man was a wax figure or a thick piece of paper, or that he was asleep, lifeless and unable to wake up. Ventus remained fixed away, eyes invisible behind matted, dirty blond hair. When Roxas shifted close enough to see the movement of his ribs as he breathed, counted the soft moles along his sides, and caught the twitch of his jaw as he gritted his teeth, he clutched the hospital bed railing to keep from breaking down. He wanted to touch that skin more than anything in the world. Was it still waxy and cold, like it had been on the coastguard vessel? Were his eyes still sunken and closed? Cid refused to look, anger bulging through his arms and thrust chin as he stared at the ceiling with tears brimming his cheeks. For a moment there was silence. Then, sniffing, he announced that he heard Ventus had tried committing suicide. Ventus remained frozen. Cid gritted his teeth and hissed, banging his fist on the bedside table. It made Roxas wince.

"Goddammit, you little motherfucker," the old man stifled through a sob. "I can't believe what ye done to this family. I am so angry I could kill ye, but I love ya so damn much I just..." wiping away tears, he continued, "You are comin' back with us the minute you get better. You are stayin' in mine and Roxas' sight at all damn times. I don't know what the fuck kind of therapy you need, but by gods you are gettin' it if it's the last thing I do. An ye can expec' to work your ass off in the shop for free, an take Roxas to however many damn football practices he desires for free, an ye can practice with him like Cloud did for free, too. An that's the least ya can damn well do for this boy, because without him, ye'd be rottin' in a fuckin' oil drum at the bottom of the ocean."

A snort came from Ventus' side of the bed. Cid's expression slopped down his chin as he heard it, indignation turning him pale. In rancor he leaned forward and hissed that Ventus wasn't going to tear their family apart any longer. Then the man left, calling to Roxas that he was going out for a smoke. The two brothers found themselves alone, Ventus quiet as a statue, Roxas struggling to figure out what to say at all. In the end, it was Ventus who spoke.

"Did you see the video?" he asked in a small voice. Roxas' shoulders shot up in surprise. He stuttered that he had only seen the first few seconds. "Cid didn't see anything," he added feverishly. "I deleted it from his phone before he could look."

Something like disappointment sunk Ventus' head. Roxas stared at his brother's back in earnest, loving each word that came from the man's familiar mouth, wishing to say something else himself. Again, it was Ventus who broke the silence.

"Thought you wanted me dead," he whispered. Roxas glanced up in desolation, murmuring that he had lied. "I..." he started. Then, he sucked in a deep breath and beamed. "I'm gay, too."

There was quiet. Then, "I know," in a familiar snarl. Roxas shrunk in his seat. When silence returned like nightfall, he got the strangest urge. Though he beat it down, it reemerged every few minutes, stronger each time, until it came out of his mouth like vomit.

"Do you..." he started, staring towards Ventus' downturned face with a steady gaze. "... Do you want me to hold your hand?"

For the first time in what felt like his whole life, Ventus peered up and looked at him. Twin blues met and widened. Their breaths stilled. Time stopped. Ventus blinked in shock, brows furrowing and lips curling as if preparing some vile insult. Then, too exhausted to come up with anything, he softened, gave Roxas a furtive glance, and nodded towards his lap. Roxas' heart hammered in trepidation as he reached forward. Ventus' hand remained fixed in front of him, palm up, barely real at all. When Roxas took it, a shock ran through him. It was so warm. He could feel the blood beating beneath the skin, gentle pink on the palm, but rough with blisters and calluses. Roxas smiled as he ran his fingers over its grooves, tracing the lines of Ventus' palm, thumb, and fingers in curiosity. Then, he clasped it in his own and squeezed as hard as he could, relaxing as he and Ventus breathed out together. For several minutes there was silence. Then, there was a huffing sound like shuddering breath. Roxas snapped to attention, glancing over his shoulder to see if Cid had returned. When he realized the shuddering was coming from Ventus, he whipped forward in alarm. The man was crying, eyes shut tight, lips bared around parted teeth, drool pooling at the commissures as tears rolled down his cheeks and pattered against the covers before his bandaged arms. Roxas stared at him in disbelief. Then, bowing his head, he squeezed Ventus' hand again and smoothed his thumb back and forth over the man's palm as he gazed down his gauzy, trembling wrists, over and over for what felt like an eternity.

•∞•

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 **A/N: How do you all feel about Ventus now? He's so complex, I can't wait to expound on him even more in coming chapters. Tell me all your thoughts/ questions/ opinions in the comments!**

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	15. Contact

**A/N: OMG Forsaken and Akuma I love your reviews T.T everyone please review, reading them gives me so much joy!**

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 ** _Fifteen: Contact_**

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Ventus was taken to some sort of outpatient facility for a couple days. He must have been on his best behavior, because except for iron tablets, antibiotics, and some supplement called Milo, the doctors did not feel the need to medicate him when he got back. He was to go to classes every day from nine am to twelve pm and therapy from twelve to one. Then it was suggested he go to lunch to reconnect with the people who cared about him. Cid had to drive. As he, Ventus, and Roxas drove back from the facility near the hospital, Cid stared across the road like he wanted to burn it with his eyes. Ventus remained muter than he had his whole life, staring ahead with arms crossed like shackles. Every once in a while, his lips moved, as if mouthing things to himself. When the trio reached the house, Cid parked the truck, slammed the door behind him, and waited for Ventus and Roxas to slide out before slipping Ventus' belongings under his arm and hurrying for the door. When Ventus and Roxas got inside, Cid called them to the couch in the living room beside the shop entrance. As Ventus glowered at the floor, Cid informed him that he had scoured his room and chucked away his pot and coke. If he saw Ventus with a sliver of drugs in the next few weeks, he'd call the cops and have him arrested. Every dangerous belonging he owned had been spirited from his room to a separate location known only to Cid. Then, sucking up his chin in preparation to lay out the big kahuna, he announced that Ven would stay in Roxas' room until he proved capable of taking care of himself. Throughout everything, Ventus stared ahead without uttering a word. When the fight Cid had expected never came, the old man coughed and added that he was driving Ventus and Roxas to the football pitch every day to practice together.

"If he's not on the varsity team by the Friday of his first week of school," Cid warned, "I'll take the 100k you owe me for your damn hospital bill in pounds of flesh."

Roxas winced at the comment but remained as silent as Ventus. When Cid could get nothing out of him, Ventus stood and started up the stairs. Roxas bounded with him, shadowing him up the hall. Before he could stumble over the stuffed paper bags lining their way, Roxas dragged them into his bedroom. Ventus shoved past for his own door, scowling when the lock jammed. When Roxas squeaked that Cid had locked and bolted the portal shut, Ventus loured over him in hatred, snatching one of the paper bags from his hands and ogling, indignant, as it slipped from his fingers to the floor, his grip too weak to hold it. As the man started to snarl, Roxas yelped that it was fine and picked the clothing up for him, setting the paper bags near the bed as he dove through one for an outfit. When Ventus tried going into the bathroom alone, Roxas followed him, sat on the toilet as he had a shower, and stared into the wall ahead. As the water sputtered and whined, he wrung his hands, deciding Ventus' silence was the loudest, most jarring sound in the house.

He didn't sleep well at his side. He could tell Ventus wasn't sleeping either. The fact that the man he had kept locked out for more than five years was now voluntarily in his bed, staring up at his ceiling like a broken doll, gave him the heebie-jeebies. But he must have drifted off some time, because Ventus had already gone to his classes by the time Roxas woke up. He spent the morning finishing his summer homework and practicing on his skateboard. By the time he spotted Cid's truck rattle back into the parking garage, he was already slipping through the shop door. As he peeked through the broken glass, Cid pulled into park. It was obvious the old man had tried starting a conversation Ventus quickly ended. Both passengers glowered as if their life depended on it, looking anywhere but each other. When Ventus slipped out and tried slamming the passenger door shut, it flew from his fingers and puttered against the frame like bouncing rubber, making him blush in embarrassment and sail through the shop door shaking in anger. Roxas hopped out of his way and tiptoed after him, realizing half way up the stairs that Ventus had not gone into the bedroom hall at all. Instead he was rummaging through the kitchen for a bowl of cereal. As Roxas slipped around him, Ventus sized him up. When Cid slammed up after them, the old man announced that Ventus had an hour to get ready and take Roxas to the football pitch.

"An you're gonna be trainin' him till the damn sun sets every fuckin' day till he sees fit to stop," he snarled, slamming into his bedroom and leaving the brothers alone. When Roxas let down his guard, he caught Ventus' eye. The man stared at him with a killing gaze, chomping through his cereal as though it was the boy's head. There was no speaking for the rest of the meal. It was a quiet drive to the football pitch, too, Cid trying to indirectly get Ventus talking by starting a probing conversation with Roxas about Rydia. Roxas winced, wondering every moment if Ventus would tell Cid what he really was. But the man remained silent in the back of the truck, eyes relentlessly pointed out the window. When the football pitch came into view, he straightened and rummaged beneath his seat, revealing with shaking fingers a lacrosse stick along with an old huddle of balls, a pair of cleats, and a new pair of pressure compression pads that he shoved around the bandages covering his arms. After that, he slipped a long sleeved shirt over his head and waited for Cid to stop the car. Roxas got out first, tying up his cleats and fixing his shirt and shorts. Ventus slumped out behind him, dragging his mesh bag of goodies along the ground at his back, fingers shaking like jackhammers from the pressure of the string. As he wandered out to the farthest field on his own, Cid shook his head and looked to Roxas in apology.

"I'm sorry, kiddo," he sighed in dejection. "I hate to leave ya with him all on your own. But he jus' don' wanna listen to me. Maybe he'll listen to you. After all, he loved football like nothin' else in this world."

"I know, pa," Roxas whispered, smiling and reaching out to grab hold of Cid's hand. Cid's eyes brimmed with tears as he pulled him into a hug. Ventus stared at the exchange with arms crossed over his front, a silent specter of white and black against the parched summer grass. When Roxas lumbered towards him, Cid waved, slipped into his truck, and chugged off. Once Ventus and Roxas were truly alone, Ventus turned to his younger brother and set his jaw.

"I get you ready for varsity or I get my ass kicked," he said. Roxas nodded, sucking in and out to steel himself for whatever Ventus had planned. Ventus nodded and narrowed his eyes.

"You want real trainin' or faggot trainin'?" he asked. When Roxas peeped up, he was bathed in a gaze of resentment.

"I want the training that will make me good," he gulped. Ventus nodded. Then he bent close to Roxas' face. "You do everythin' I say," he intoned. "Or we revert to fag trainin'. Unlike _Cloud_ ," he snarled, tongue gnashing across the l and d as if eating them, "I don't give second chances." Roxas summoned all of his courage and stared up in challenge, nodding that he was ready for whatever Ventus threw at him. Ventus' nostrils flared. Then, pulling an old whistle from the hem of his shirt, he blew it and told Roxas to start running as fast as he could. Roxas fired off, finishing a lap around the field at top speed. Then he did another. When he got through a third, he slowed down to see what the hell Ventus was playing at. As soon as his legs went from a blur to a lollop, Ventus' whistle and jarring voice roared for Roxas to pick up the pace and keep it. Roxas gaped in disbelief. Ventus held up five fingers.

"Commencin' fag trainin' in five... four..." he said, flipping down a jittering digit with each word. "Three... two..."

Roxas roared and launched off again, digging his cleats through the grass and going around and around until he could barely see anymore. When his stomach tore into so many knots he staggered over and vomited on the grass, Ventus called for him to start drilling. He pulled out a bunch of old cereal boxes and toilet roll cylinders and set them in a row of ten, twenty meters apart. When Roxas approached too slowly, Ventus whistled as loud as he could and screamed for the boy to quit stalling. Roxas charged over and stood before him, silent. Ventus commanded him to stand at the first cereal box. Roxas did. Then, tugging up his whistle like a safety blanket, Ventus blew into it as hard and close to Roxas' ear as possible and screamed for him to run to cone two. Roxas fired off, hit the second cereal box, and aimed for the third. Before he could get to it, Ventus whistled again and told him to backpedal to the first. Roxas lunged backwards and tripped over his feet, landing on the ground. When he scrambled up, the whistle blew again.

"Start over!" Ventus roared. Without helping it, Roxas descended into crying. When Ventus started counting down to fag training again, the younger wiped his eyes, channeled all his hatred, and moved back to cone one. Then, he shot off and started the circuit again. Ventus made him repeat it twenty times until he got it right. Then, he cleared all the cereal boxes and started another drill.

"Watch," he spat, stomping forward and standing rigid with feet hip width apart. Then, he tipped forward. When he fell halfway to the ground straight as a rod, he kicked up his knees and fired on the balls of his feet across the green. For one, blistering moment, an excited smile splashed across his face. Then, it disappeared from view. Ventus tipped right, staggering. Roxas watched in alarm, furrowing his brows when the man slowed and stumbled again. Suddenly, Ventus came to a halt. Then, he crumpled. Roxas gasped, launched down, and fired until he skidded to his side, catching the man in his arms and tumbling into the grass just before Ventus' eyes rolled back in his head completely. As he patted Ventus' cheek and called his name to no avail, he tore through his brain for the memory of his fifth grade health colloquium. When first aid tips hit him, he lowered Ventus' back, checked his breathing, stood between his knees, and picked up his legs. For a moment Ventus stayed out like a light. When he came to, he gazed around without focusing on anything.

"Motherfucker..." he whispered, trying and failing to prop himself up on his elbows. Instead he shivered and set his hands over his face, his lower jaw chattering as Roxas told him to relax.

"Izzer anyonearound?" the man said in a tiny voice. Roxas peered up. There was a guy running in the track field across the street and a few cars passing in the distance, but Ventus didn't need to know that.

"No one," Roxas said. When Ventus took away his hands, Roxas gaped. Normally grayish tan from cooping himself up in his dank room or the shop all the time, he was now white as a sheet, giving the bags under his eyes a skeletal look.

"You want me to get you some water?" Roxas blustered. "It's pretty hot outside, maybe you're dehydrated."

"N-no," Ventus stuttered. The pair sat in silence for a good fifteen minutes before Ventus returned to earth completely, Roxas continuing to prop up his legs. When he asked if Ventus wanted to stay down while he drilled, Ventus' brows raised with an idea. When he attempted standing, he swayed. Roxas made him sit and put his head between his knees.

"I could do something else besides falling sprints," Roxas suggested. Ventus nodded, slurring for him to set up two cones thirty meters apart. Roxas got two cereal boxes and positioned them as told. Ventus told him to do running burpies. Roxas watched him like a hawk when he wobbled to standing, telling him in a surprisingly stern voice to take it slow. Ventus caught it too, blinking in shock but nodding. With care he lowered to a hunker and did a slow motion jump, raising his arms over his head. He had to take a break half way through to keep from fainting again. Then, he resumed, hunkering down again, lowering on his hands and knees, and telling Roxas that the end was a pushup. "Then you get up and start over. But this time, you're gonna run from one cone to the other an do a burpie an sprint out of it as soon as possible." Roxas nodded and went to cone one, sprinting to the other side and kneeling into a burpie. Soon, Ventus' whistle sounded behind him. The man walked over shaking his head.

"Why are you sprintin' wrong if I just fuckin' showed you?" he hissed. Suddenly, his brows smoothed. It seemed a previous idea had reentered his head. He gazed on Roxas with narrowed eyes. Then he sauntered away as evenly as possible. When Roxas asked what he was planning, he held up his hand.

"Let's see how much you care," he started. Then, he silenced and pitched forward again, face careening towards the hard ground fast. Roxas yelped and dived, lifting his knees, running, and then sliding to Ventus on his side before the man ate it. When he was in Roxas' arms again, he glowered less intensely, muttering that that was better. Roxas stared down at him like he was crazy. When he helped him stand again, Ventus told him to watch him. Roxas did.

"Run on the balls of your feet," Ventus said, bobbing up and down. "Tell me where the balls of your feet are."

Roxas winced and pointed to his heels. Ventus stared at him like he was an idiot. Then he lifted his own foot, used Roxas' shoulder for balance, and pointed to the cushion between his arch and his toes. "Ball," he intoned. "Point to yours and say 'Ball of my foot'."

"Ball of my foot," Roxas scowled, jabbing his finger into the ball of his right foot. Ventus nodded. Then he told Roxas to lean him over his shoulder and walk backwards with him. Blushing, Roxas sidled forward and tried bending Ventus down to put his chin over his shoulder. The man refused to bend at the waist. Roxas scowled, trying to force him down. Then, understanding, he walked backwards until Ventus' chin was over his shoulder naturally.

"See what I'm doin'?" Ventus snapped, pointing to his waist. "Bendin' at the waist pushes your momentum behind you. If your lower torso is leanin' back an your upper torso is leanin' forward, your momentum is zero. But if you keep straight at the waist an use the muscles of your legs to keep you goin' forward instead of tippin' over, you'll go way faster. An you have to drive your legs with your hip muscles." Ventus demonstrated by doing a leaning salsa, digging each hip up and bending his knees. "An you can use your arms for momentum, too. Keep your hands relaxed, elbows at a ninety degree angle, and move from the shoulder joint." He demonstrated that, too. Then, after being helped to standing by Roxas, he told Roxas to do the same on him. Roxas nodded and leaned forward until his head rested in the middle of Ventus' chest. When he felt secure, he relaxed into the lean. Then he fell to the ground. When he realized that Ventus had purposefully moved away, he glared up, resisting the urge to cry when Ventus sneered down at him.

"Couldn't resist," the man sighed smugly. Then he straightened and told Roxas to lean against him again. This time, he didn't move back. Instead, he told Roxas to swing his arms. When Roxas did, Ventus poked him between the shoulder blades, pressing around in circles in the direction he wanted Roxas to go. The touch was a jolt to Roxas' system. Instinctively, he smiled, enjoying how close they were. Something in Ventus' lingering, cautious directions told Roxas he felt the same. When the man was sure Roxas was moving his arms right, he moved down to his hips, pressing his hip flexors and rolling them in circles until Roxas copied. Then he made him do the standing salsa, one hip up and then the other. They practiced like this for what felt like ages, over and over, Roxas leaned in a plank against Ventus' chest until he was pulling up his legs the right way. By the time they finished, his abs were on fire. They continued with falling sprints, Roxas tasked with catching Ventus whenever he tipped himself forward. By the third fall, Ventus installed a rule that diving was cheating. Roxas whined but complied, concentrating all his efforts into increasing his speed. By the time the sun had started to lower, and the club teams were on their way, Roxas was so exhausted and distracted that he didn't see them at all. Following one final burpie drill, Ventus cleared the cereal boxes and kicked over the football. Roxas caught it easily and kicked it back.

"Nice pass for a fag," Ventus spat, making Roxas sink in disappointment. For the last hour, they had been practically getting along. Ahead, Ventus shrugged. "I'm gonna need you to pass less like a fag an more like a football player."

"You're a fag and a football player," Roxas snapped in return. When Ventus sent the soccer ball flying for his head, he butted it back to him, making Ventus' mouth twitch up despite his rancor.

"I ain't a fag on the pitch," he hissed. "I'm the ball, the grass, the Highwind." As a vision took him over, he closed his eyes and raised his arms, surrounded by inaudible applause. His cleats rolled around the pitch beneath, beating out a rhythm only he understood. When his eyes opened, they remained glazed in starry nostalgia. Then, a shadow passed over and he muttered for Roxas to get in position. Roxas scrambled ten meters away, listening as Ventus called that he was going to send a long pass and that Roxas would have to fight for it from an imaginary player.

"An only I know how fast the imaginary player is goin'," he added. Then, without warning, he fired. Roxas lunged, veering to the right as Ventus howled that the ball was going for the corner, that it was about to be a foul. Then he said that another person was sailing for it ahead of him. "He's almost on it, pick it up an head butt it!" Roxas leaned and lunged like a bolt of flame, sliding under the ball and whacking it when Ventus told him to. When he did, Ventus cried out that the opposing goalie had gotten it.

"What?" Roxas snapped in rage. Ventus grinned for Roxas to play the goalie for a second and kick the ball back to him. Roxas stomped over and kicked with all his might. Ventus caught it as easy as breathing. Then, the game restarted. Roxas flew around for hours, moving from simply catching the ball to passing in different directions under extreme duress. Every single time, the 'opposing team', or whatever Ventus had pulled out of his ass to torture Roxas, won. Finally, Ventus got his lacrosse stick, mimed whacking Roxas over the head with it, cackled when he flinched, and strolled to one of the goalie posts. When he told Roxas to try and score, Roxas narrowed his eyes.

"Are you sure this isn't going to bust your stitches or something?" he intoned. Ventus blushed. Then he shook his head, muttering that he didn't think Roxas had that much power in him. "This'll be good for rebuildin' my strength, too," he added warily. "Then I can train you properly."

Roxas scowled in disbelief, kicking as hard as he could and snarling when Ventus plugged his whistle to his lips, rose the lacrosse stick lazily over his shoulder, balanced it against the goalpost, and blew a shrill note as the ball whacked against the lacrosse stick handle and fired back to Roxas' feet.

"You can't do that, no goalie can do that!" Roxas roared. Ventus shrugged and said that maybe Roxas should try surprising him. "You should be able to score no matter the circumstance," he intoned. Then, he told Roxas to start again. Of course, every shot misdirected, one even coming back and punching Roxas in the stomach. Ventus laughed every time he missed, making him rancorous and teary-eyed. At the end of the night, far after the sun had gone down and when a huddle of club members had gathered with sea salt ice cream to watch, Ventus had Roxas repeat every drill. When he said he would do them with him, Roxas snapped that he was too weak. Ventus popped up in indignation, prepared to prove him wrong. But when he saw the huddle of kids off to the side, staring glassy eyed at him, he cowered and soured, muttering for Roxas to get going. The boy went twice as hard as he had at the beginning of the night, imagining he was crashing over Ventus' face with each step. By the time dusk fell and he had warmed down and sunk into stretches, he groaned and massaged his aching joints with slow strokes. Ventus watched, stretching as well.

"When I get stronger I'll do the exercises with you," he offered in a mutter. Roxas glanced up in shock, meeting Ventus' eye. They whipped away in an instant, making both brothers cough and blush. Roxas muttered that that would be nice.

"Maybe you'll realize why I'm doin' this stuff when we start scrimmagin'," Ventus added under his breath, running his hands over his legs. He had once looked flexible and fit, but like when he fainted, Roxas was reminded how thin, stiff, and soft he had gotten. Roxas never dreamed that Ventus was capable of going through a 'rough patch,' but it was becoming apparent that this summer had been hell for him. His Highwind blush, normally muted in everyday life, returned in a soft pink glow around his cheeks as he smiled and burst into sudden conversation. Roxas stared at his blabbering in shock, barely taking in anything he said, not knowing how to even respond. He didn't think Ventus had ever talked this much in his life, even when he was angry.

"Cloud probably did a lot of 'fun' exercises with you," the man meandered on in a sneer. "Like scrimmagin' with he and _Leon_ ," he mocked, resting on the name in a strange, vicious way that made Roxas wonder if he had once crushed on him.

"Leon's handsome," Roxas returned under his breath. Ventus snorted and puffed up with excitement, barking that that was a given. "An the motherfucker has to make everyone sure that _he_ knows it, too." Aghast at his own memory, he shook his head. "When they were in high school an would smoke weed on the weekends in the fuckin' _living room-_ an never a word from me to mom or dad or Cid- they'd go on an on about some emo faggot named Nero who was always tryin' to get on the football team an watch them practice. They'd smoke in the living room an stain the fuckin' curtains and talk about how in love with them this fag was an they would sit an come up with ways to torture him without him realizin'."

"That doesn't sound like Cloud or Leon at all," Roxas muttered, but Ventus couldn't hear him over his own voice.

"They'd take off as much clothin' as possible where he could see them, they'd wink at him, smile an wave, an he'd think he'd made a fuckin' friend and then durin' school he'd come to their lunch table an ask to sit with them, an then they'd have a fuckin' pre decided poll with the rest of their fucktard buddies on whether he could sit down, an sometimes he could an sometimes he couldn't, an when he did sit down they'd deprecate the fag for the way he dressed an talked an walked but they'd _laugh_ an _smile_ so he wouldn't think they were actually bein' mean. An all this occurred while their friend Zack was in the fuckin' closet," he gnashed. "No wonder the fucker hung himself. An' then in comes saint motherfuckin' Cloud motherfuckin' Strife on a fuckin' thunderbolt sayin', _oh! Wittwe Zacky was a fuckin'_ fairy _an I nevew even_ knew?! _Quick! Let's start a fuckin'_ charity _in his honor an name it some bullshit like '_ Straight Men for Gay Suicide _' an put my picture on the front fuckin' cover, just so everyone in the world is aware that I am a normal fuckin' straight man who never bullied any poor wittwe fairy fuckers when_ I _was in high school_! The fuckin' _gall_ -"

"But that's so-" Roxas tried, but Ventus was on a roll. It was as if a spirit spoke through him, stabbing each of his words and filling him with revolting, acidic glee that made him sway forward and back ever so slightly across the grass.

"-Not just _men_ for fag suicide prevention, or some shit, no, no, _no,_ he had to establish in writing that he was fuckin' 'normal' an at the same time make believe he was helpin' out all the poor little pillow-biters who couldn't even find the will to live-"

"But, Ventus-"

"An fuck me," Ventus spat. "But _I_ don't see the point in a friend or ally or whatever the fuck who cares whenever it suits him. I'd rather know someone hates me than have them fake-like me. I mean, I always made it _clear_ how I felt about faggots. Take _my_ friend group," he added with a knowing glance. "If any fucker was suspected of lookin' at another guy the wrong way, they were made know, an if there was a fag lurkin' around, it was made clear that myself an my friend group had no time for 'em. I didn't string _anyone_ along to torture 'em, an I _certainly_ never treated anyone as a fuckin' charity case. That's equality!"

"But-"

"An I never gave myself any shortcuts," Ventus continued, volume and blood pressure rising by the minute until the blush assailing his cheeks carried down his body, his eyes twinkling and glowing in remembrance. "I held back cause I _cared_. An if that meant starin' at the ground rather than riskin' a wantin' glance, I fuckin' _did_ it. Cause fags-"

"But you are a fucking fag, you idiot!" Roxas roared suddenly, leaping to his feet and vomiting the syllables out. "And no matter how much you talk about shoving the gay away, and hating Cloud, and me, and Cid, and everyone else in your fucking life, and 'I'm not gay when I play fucking football,' that is all you will ever be! And no sport, or curse word, or promise, or excuse, or staring at the ground is ever going to change that! You are gay and you will be gay for the rest of your fucking life!"

Roxas stared at Ventus' shocked expression with fists clenched and shaking. His brother, normally hulking, now thin, weak, and helpless, would be a pleasure to beat the shit out of. And in this state, Roxas could do it with ease. But instead of hitting him, he tore his cleats through the grass and turned away. As if on cue, the sound of Cid's truck rattled into the parking lot. Without speaking Ventus scrambled to his feet and swayed, hissing for Roxas to keep away when he tried catching him. He stumbled along with a stony expression, veering uncharacteristically far to the right. When Roxas realized he might not be able to see at all, he ran to his shoulder and propped him up so that he would walk in the right direction. When he glanced into his older brother's eyes, his heart broke. The man shook all over, pursing his lips, staring ahead, and breathing through his nostrils as if that were the only thing holding him together. As Roxas watched, shame coursed through him.

"I'm sorry," he intoned. Though Ventus seemed to ignore him, he hoped he had at least heard it. As they crossed the football pitch with the bleachers the club kids were seated in, Sora called over and asked who Roxas was practicing with today. Without thinking, Roxas spat for him to fuck off. Sora's and the rest of his team's mouths dropped in shock. Though Riku, Larxene, Seifer, and Lea glowered, they did not approach. Cid honked his horn and Roxas veered Ventus forward, helping him into the back of the car and hauling in the mesh supply bag after them. When Roxas got in the passenger seat and Cid started up the ignition, he asked how the day had gone. Roxas murmured that it had been fine. When Cid saw the red around his eyes, he prepared to say something to Ventus, but Roxas stopped him with a hard gaze. Cid softened and set his eyes on the road.

"Now don't you go actin' like him, too, Rox," he muttered under his breath. When Roxas glanced in the rear view mirror, all he could see was Ventus' legs and hair. The rest of him was shrouded by Cid's seat back. Roxas stared at his shoulders and scalp for a long time, wishing he could say something to make everything right. Ventus remained silent as death when they reached the shop. The moment he got through the entrance door, what was formerly glass now tacked over with wood and plastic packing, he rushed to the bathroom. Roxas scampered after him, perching on the toilet seat while Ventus turned on the shower and peeled off his clothes. The man acted as if Roxas wasn't there, wincing as he pulled at the compression pads surrounding his bandages. When his fingers grew too weak to tug them past a centimeter, he slammed his hands against the sink and screamed, "FUCK!" at the top of his lungs. Then, to Roxas' horror, he collapsed on the ground and descended into sobs. When Cid asked what the fuck was going on, Roxas snapped that he had it under control. Then he knelt at Ventus' side and helped him undo the compression pads himself.

"Look, they're probably just stuck to the bandages from dampness," he reasoned over Ventus' sputtering tears, trying to mask the disgust and twisted amusement coursing through him at seeing the grown man cry. When Ventus looked up with a wide-open mouth, drooled, and wailed, Roxas snorted. Immediately, Ventus snapped his mouth shut and snapped for Roxas to tell him what was so funny. The color left Roxas' face, but nervous laughter consumed him as he shrugged. Fighting for an answer, he chuckled, "nothing, it just... it feels like a scene from Frankenstein."

"What?" Ventus snapped, preparing to stand though both of them knew he would faint if he tried springing up. Roxas shushed him and shrunk, muttering that it was like Ventus was Frankenstein's monster and Roxas was the blind old man, DeLacey.

"Speak english," Ventus croaked, cracking on the second word. "I don't read your stupid fuckin' books, you _fag_."

"Remember Young Frankenstein?" Roxas tried, attempting with all his might to ignore Ventus' slurs. Ventus faltered. Sniffed. Then he nodded.

"You're like Frankenstein's monster, and I'm like Igor," Roxas said. Ventus' brows twitched. Then, to Roxas' surprise, he cocked his head in consideration.

"Yeah..." he murmured, looking down at himself and snorting. When he looked up, a chill went down Roxas' spine. It was as if he was staring at himself from Cid's perspective.

"I do look like a fuckin' idiot, don't I?" Ventus muttered shyly, sniffling when he tried breathing out.

Beaming, Roxas crossed his eyes, hunched over, and bounded to Ventus' side like Gollum. When Ventus asked what the fuck he was doing, Roxas pointed to the bandages and half removed compression pads and said, "may I tend to your wounds, young master?" with a weird lisp that made Ventus snort from incredulity.

"Fuck, I knew you were a dumbass, Roxas," he croaked. "But I think this takes the fuckin' cake." When Roxas bent forward and shook his fingers dramatically as he tried removing Ventus' compression pads, the man curled away and broke into laughter. In the end, after several moments of lisp ridden plying and crossed eyes, Ventus allowed Roxas to remove the compression pads, undress the old bandages, apply disinfectant, redress the bandages, and before that, even let Roxas help him wash his hair and under his arms. Once he was dry and re-bandaged, Roxas asked him to sit on the toilet while he had a shower, too. Ventus said okay. In the middle of Roxas showering, the toilet flushed. He jumped back as the water went cold and then scalding, barking for Ventus to stop. Ventus spat that he was pooping. Then, once the water refilled, he flushed the toilet again.

"Ventus!" Roxas hissed, sticking his head out of the shower with a glower. Sure enough, Ventus was not on the toilet at all. He was leaning at the side with the knob in his hand, ready to flush again.

"You have a minute till round three," Ventus said through a glower that for some reason seemed fake. Roxas sighed and showered as fast as he could, crying out through another round of scorching heat and freezing cold before staggering out, drying off, and stomping to his room. Ventus followed like a ball and chain, slipping inside and peeking around in unnaturally good spirits. When he saw Cloud's computer, his eyes lit up with glee.

"What's the passcode?" he asked. When Roxas would not tell him, he scowled and examined the thing in his hands, opening it up to see what the computer's user picture was. When the photo of Cloud's old friend group pulled up, Ventus snorted, shook his head, and mocked in a warbling stutter, "may friunds ur may powur, duh hurduh hur," crossing his eyes and knocking the side of his palm against his chest in a vulgar imitation of mental retardation. Roxas looked away in disgust just long enough to miss the man holding the keyboard to the light to decide which keys looked the oiliest. When Roxas noticed him typing in random combinations, he gasped and told him to stop, snatching the laptop from his hands as Ventus called in a nasal, singsong voice to Cid that Roxas was abusing a suicide survivor. Roxas winced as the man cackled. When Ventus asked what was wrong, the boy shook his head.

"Just… you laugh about and make fun of things you shouldn't," Roxas murmured. Ventus scoffed, his smile wiping away in an instant. "You laugh at me durin' one of the lowest points of my life but when I make a joke I can't even giggle? How the double standards never end..."

"It's okay to laugh when you feel sad," Roxas returned. "But if you make fun of others' suffering… including your own, you'll normalize it."

"Are you my fuckin' therapist?" Ventus asked in a sneer.

"Have you even told him what you are?" Roxas shot back, regretting the words as they left him. But Ventus didn't seem to care.

"Her," he corrected. "Fat ol' fuckin' Samoan named Mrs. Tui." Then, falling silent again, he traced his fingers over the side of Roxas' desk and became the shy, soft-spoken boy he had turned into in the bathroom. "She invited me to a hula zumba dance class at the Polynesian culture center in Radiant Garden," he murmured, adding quickly, "Or somethin'," as he peeked out at Roxas from under his brows.

"Are you going to go?" Roxas asked. Ventus nearly broke under disbelief. But as he prepared to give a rousing, "fuck, NO!" he faltered and frowned. Then, he murmured that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea, adding darkly that when his video got out to the general public, he might have nowhere else to go.

"Have you told Mrs. Tui about the video?" Roxas asked. Ventus shook his head. When Roxas tried objecting, Ventus snapped that he couldn't just show some random doctor his sex tape.

"It's not a sex tape!" Roxas insisted, "You didn't consent to it. And why would you hide something like that from a person who actually wants to help you?"

"Because," Ventus growled in irritation, "I deserve a sliver of privacy after everything that's happened. I just…"

"But if you're so blasé about everyone else seeing it-"

"Roxas, showing her that would just mean admitting to everything else-"

"Admitting to what?"

"Nothing, okay!" Ventus spat suddenly, curling in on himself and averting his gaze. "You just… you would never get it."

"Get what?" Roxas snapped. "Being gay?"

"No," Ventus returned, distracted. "You'd never understand… me. No one could." With that, he rolled into the corner of Roxas' bed and turned over. After getting ready, Roxas sighed and plopped at his side, staring up at the ceiling with drooping lids. Then, on sudden inspiration, he murmured, "I'm a Nero, you know." Ventus, if he was even awake, remained silent. Roxas continued staring up, tears clouding his eyes.

"I'd rather have people say how they actually feel about me, too," he murmured. "But I don't want them to be mean or tell me to fuck off or beat me up. And I don't want to look at my feet for the rest of my life. I want to look into people's eyes without being scared that they'll see who I really am. What's so wrong with that?"

Roxas whispered half to himself, emboldened by his own words. When he noticed that Ventus was holding his breath, he furrowed his brows and asked if he was awake. Ventus did not answer. When Roxas shook his shoulder and peeked over him, padding around his stomach and arms just in case he was holding anything, the man would not budge. Embarrassed but suspicious, Roxas swiveled over and shut his eyes; too tired to eat when Cid called in and asked if he wanted any dinner.

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 **A/N: How'd you like that? How's the slow revelation of Ven's character? And don't worry, Roxas will be heading back to school and Sora soon ;)**

 **Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW! **


	16. Dian Keto the Cure Master

**A/N: Saw a new follow and favorite so you all get another chapter!**

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 ** _Sixteen: Dian Keto the Cure Master_**

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Ventus' unnaturally accommodating nature did not survive the night. It disappeared completely for the entirety of the week, as if he had embarrassed himself and refused to do anything to make the feeling worse. In turn, he made Roxas' practices twice as difficult, pushing him within an inch of his life and sending him to the verge of injury nearly every day. Whenever Roxas cried, limped, or staggered around, Ventus tore into him. Though Roxas told himself that the man was puking out rot he had held inside for years and that it wasn't personal, the comments still hurt. Every moment around the man turned into a moment Roxas wished he could use to punch him in the face without being punched back. But he refused to fight fire with fire. Instead, he said yes. He even said yes when Ventus demanded access to Cloud's computer under the pretence of "researching," knowing the man took wild pleasure in hammering on the keys and poking through the history of Cloud's personal belonging without the man's knowledge. It became a ritual for Ventus: demanding access, asking Roxas for the "password, again," even though he'd learned it by heart, scoffing at the wallpaper of Cloud's friends, and then, after hovering over files with mysterious, personal names, clicking "coaching techniques," into Google's search bar, flourishing the notebook his therapist had given him, (on which he'd blacked out _Ventus' Diary_ and written _Fag Football_ ) and scribbling the tips in chicken scratch. As the complexity of the ritual rose, its goal illuminated itself: to irritate Roxas as much as possible. Every huff and eye roll was met by something new; this time a question of, "I wonder what Cloud keeps in his private folders," or, "now that I've written down exercises, I'll get your diet in order," or "maybe we'll meditate," which was a sick joke judging by the snorts and muffled laughter Ventus displayed whenever Roxas actually tried meditative breathing on his own.

To make matters worse, the man started getting on Cid's nerves, too, talking his ear off in the shop, the car, and on the lunch dates recommended by the therapist until the old man couldn't stand a moment around him. One Friday, after enduring four hours of Ventus singing at the top of his lungs, jiggling the lock and bolts encasing his bedroom door, rummaging through Cid's toolbox and bedroom, and wandering around the upstairs apartment looking for things to "fix," the old man broke, gave Ventus some money, and told him to go out and have lunch "on him." Ventus disappeared in a flash. In the interim, Roxas settled himself on the living room couch, reveling in an empty silence only present when Ventus was not. As he pressed against the couch back and craned his head towards the curtains, relics of the 70's, he noticed for the first time the smoke stains fraying them yellowish brown. Cid never smoked in the living room. Neither did Ventus. Perhaps that story about Cloud and Leon had been true.

The farther he craned, the more he felt like the couch springs were digging into his back. When he realized the shape of the intruding object was thin and soft instead of circular and metal, he furrowed his brows, turned over his shoulder, and reached his hand behind. His fingers met the edge of a notebook. Raising his brows, he slipped it into his hands, scoffing when he read _Fag Football_ on the cover. So this was where Ventus stashed his belongings when he didn't have a room to hide them in. Smirking, Roxas flipped through the first few pages, hoping to figure out what Ventus would do to him next practice. Instead he found illegible scribbles and jarring doodles of cameras, cowering figures, and gashes of ink. As he propped the notebook higher to get a better look, a small, glinting object slipped out from beneath the last few pages and fell in his lap. When he tried picking it up, he yelped and clutched his finger. A bead of red bubbled from the digit's surface and tumbled down, staining the thumb pressing into it. When Roxas glanced around for the object that caused the cut, he cocked his head in confusion.

It was thin, metal, and sharp. Like an old box cutter blade with an angled tip. He twirled it beneath the sunlight for a moment. Then he replaced the notebook behind the couch, brought the blade into the shop, and shoved it as far down the industrial trashcan as he could. When he returned to the living room, he sat and stared out the window for a long time, blank with anxiety, scrambling up and disappearing for his room when Ventus' tromping footsteps passed outside. Roxas listened as the man entered through the shop, slipped up the stairs, set some bags on the kitchen table, and locked himself in the bathroom. Ventus hogged it for what felt like hours. Then, just when Roxas began worrying, the man sailed out, barreled into the kitchen, and started unpacking groceries.

"Yo, yo, yo!" he sang, repeating himself in a boom when Roxas didn't respond the first time. The boy trudged in and stood at the threshold, groaning when Ventus held up celery, beets, and Brussels sprouts. Snapping his fingers, Ventus thundered past Roxas' shoulder and down the stairs again, into the living room and around the couch. For a moment there was the sound of moving cushions. Then silence. Finally, "Roxas, did you move around my notebook?" in a higher pitched call than normal.

"No," Roxas responded through a scowl, surprised at how convincing he sounded. Downstairs Ventus grumbled to himself. Then he scaled the steps two at a time, notebook in hand, and snapped for Roxas never to open it unless he let him. "And be careful reaching behind the couch, there might be stuff back there that could cut you."

"Like what?" Roxas muttered, concealing his cut finger as he helped empty groceries.

"Springs," Ventus responded nonchalantly.

"Did you buy lunch?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah, I had some chips," Ventus responded in a mutter, spiriting a half full bottle of coke into the fridge.

"Are you supposed to be eating that crap?" Roxas added. To his surprise, Ventus smirked up at him, holding the coke and an empty bag of "molten hot" shrimp chips on either side of his face. "Blood sugar," he explained, holding up the coke, and "iron," he finished, waving the shrimp chips and cackling when Roxas rolled his eyes. Roxas could have said something else, but he didn't. All conversation ended until Cid returned to bring Ventus for his counseling appointment. As days passed, the pattern continued until Ven's long bathroom visits; soda and chip lunches, and trips to the grocers became habit. Roxas was sure that one day, their trips to the football field would cease as well. But Ventus continued coaching him, even asking the boy to write down a goal he wanted to accomplish during practice each day along with the skill he wanted to spend the most time on. He wrote pop quizzes on notebook paper and replayed hundreds upon hundreds of clips of old games, sharing a corner of Roxas' desk chair, snapping and cheering as he explained. Halfway through the third week and a mere five days until the beginning of school, Roxas succeeded in scoring goals against the lacrosse stick and Ventus began scrimmaging with him. These precious moments reminded Roxas why he had saved the man in the first place.

Ventus was a blur on the green, striking and scoring goals from three quarters away, his peeling laughter and grinning voice the only clue to what lay beneath his vitriol. Like a fish returning to the sea, he jumped into the sport he had neglected for so many years with alarming improvement, fumbling around Roxas' legs one day and then toying and rolling the ball around him in circles the next. The audience that had watched them the first day grew and grew, until Auron started hanging around as well. As Roxas improved, he was able to observe Ventus, too. Every so often, though fleeting, true freedom would reflect in his older brother's eyes, reminding Roxas of the boy he must have been, long before anger and resentment mangled him. In those moments, Roxas could ask nearly anything of him and the man would comply. He even got him to continue the hand exercises the doctors had given him to strengthen the tendons in his arms, until that repetitive flex and release became habit as well.

Four days before Roxas' first day back, Ventus even let him come along to the hospital to watch him get his stitches removed. Then they visited Mrs. Tui, Cid and Roxas waiting in the lobby as Ventus sat in with her. When he came out, he was puffy eyed and quiet. Mrs. Tui followed, her head jittering back and forth as she walked, eyes so caved in with wrinkles that their mischievous chocolate shine was almost eclipsed. She tied her curly, shoulder length bob back in a half ponytail, sporting a bright pink magnolia above her right ear, a red maxi dress with a thin pink cardigan, and a walking stick. She wasn't as big as Roxas imagined, but it looked like she had been very plump in her day and that the fat had sort of slid down her waist. Her hand trembled as she held it out to shake Cid's. Instead of shaking Roxas' hand, she took both of his palms and held them, gazing into his eyes with a slow nod. Roxas warmed the instant the gesture receded, grinning without realizing why as Mrs. Tui turned and shook her forefinger in Cid's face.

"You, my friend," she intoned. "You I need to speak to."

Cid blushed and muttered that if they needed to talk, they could. Mrs. Tui nodded and turned to Roxas, stating that she would like to speak to him, as well.

"These sorts of events usually need to be navigated from all angles," she insisted. "Someday, not right now, of course," she added with hands up in surrender, "after I get all of you individually, I would like to get you together as a family to discuss."

"Okay," Cid said with vigor. "I'm ready an willin' to be of any service I can."

"Wonderful," Mrs. Tui said with a beam. Then she turned to Roxas and said she wanted to talk to him first. "Is there any time we can schedule a meeting in the next few weeks?" she asked. Roxas nodded, saying that any time before the first week of school would work.

"When do you start school?" asked Mrs. Tui. Roxas cringed, giggling that he started in three days. Mrs. Tui burst into a cackle, sighing that that was much too close.

"How about Saturday?" she chirped. Roxas faltered. That would be the day after he figured out if he had made the football team or not. When he told Mrs. Tui, she asked what time the team practiced on Saturdays.

"Eight to twelve," Ventus said by rote, muttering that he remembered from when he was in school. Mrs. Tui beamed and chirped that Roxas could come in at two, right after Ventus. "Then maybe you two can get lunch!" she added. Ventus tried not to roll his eyes. After saying goodbye, the three of them drove to a nearby restaurant and got the lunch special. After finishing, Cid went off for a smoke while Roxas and Ventus walked along the same path Roxas had run to the marina a little under three weeks before. The first half of the walk was silent. Then, suddenly, Ventus snapped that he told Mrs. Tui that he was "a homo." Roxas blinked up and plastered on a grin, saying that that was great. Ventus caved into a twitch of a smile before glowering and shrugging that Mrs. Tui told him to tell Roxas.

"I told her you suggested I tell her," he muttered through a blush. Then, faltering, he said that he also told her about the video. That shocked Roxas. When he glanced at Ventus again, the man stared over the beach in longing. Roxas crossed his arms in front of him and watched like a hawk, reviewing his sprinting techniques should Ventus try making a break for it. "What did she say?" he asked.

"She asked if you all knew about it. I said you an Cloud found out but Cid didn't," he explained in a self-conscious mutter. "I told her Cloud never responded but you deleted the video from Cid's phone. She was very... complementary of you," he added in a gulp. "Said it seems like you've been a good contact through all this an that I should confide in you more."

"That's nice," Roxas said, trying not to let his curiosity and disappointment in Cloud override his respect for privacy.

"She never blames anyone for anythin'," Ven blurted suddenly. "At first it really pissed me the fuck off... shit, I'm not suppose to be cursin'," he muttered, wiping his arm savagely under his nose.

"Why not?" Roxas asked. Ventus shrugged that it was a prelude to aggressive thoughts and behaviors for him. "I been tryin' to get better," he swallowed, shooting a furtive glance Roxas' way. Roxas only nodded, which made Ventus shake his head and blabber on.

"But I kept talkin' about how much I felt hurt by you an Cloud an Cid an even mom an dad. I said I felt hurt by you the most," he added, staring fixedly at his feet, which were moving faster. When Roxas reached out and rubbed his back, the man jolted and breathed slowly to calm himself. Then, they found an empty park bench and sat down.

"I said I felt hurt because you're... I _feel_ like ever since you been born, the family was destroyed," the man swallowed, bating back a hiss. Roxas listened without speaking or looking at him.

"An she asked for a list of events surroundin' your birth, an I told her that that was the year I felt Cid really started beatin' on me, an that was maybe around the time that I started realizin' I liked... lookin' at guys, maybe... an that was the year you were born an I felt like mom an dad were givin' me no physical affection at all, an she asked if I liked physical affection, like people huggin' me an shit an at first I told her, _I'm a fuckin' man, I don't give a shit if someone hugs me or spits on me, I can take either one!_ But then she asked me this really weird question," he gulped, tears invading his vision as he rolled his tongue around his mouth in obsessive circles. "She asked me how I'd answer that question if I was the same in every way, felt the same an acted the same an all, but if my species was different or my gender was different. An then when I thought about it, I just started cryin' an cryin'. An I started sayin', _well, in that case,_ but she told me to answer as the me that was different."

"An I couldn't even talk I was so fuckin' emotional," he continued, dragging his hand across his eyes and nose again. "An then I told her... I _do_ like physical affection. I love bein' touched an hugged, I loved it ever since I was little. An ten was the year I felt that all physical affection drowned out of my life, that all that affection was taken from me an put on Cloud an you. An that was the year I started likin' boys, an the year Cid started beatin' on me, an... an then something else happened," he gulped, barking quickly, "An she said that maybe you didn't ruin nothin', but that things just happened to start around the time you were born. An that really got me thinkin'," he whispered.

"An then she asked what things irritated me about you in everyday life, an I started listing things, like that you always cuddle up an sleep beside Cid like a fuckin' child, an that Cloud played more football with you in one summer than he played with me in his life, an that he was okay with you bein' gay an that Cid never beats you like he did me, an then she asked if all that was stuff I wish I had. An I said, _fuck, yeah!_ An she asked if I was more mad about the fact that you were misbehaving, or the fact that you weren't being punished for it. An I said, _punished._ An then she asked if I was mad you hadn't been punished like I had. An I said _fuck yeah._ An then she asked if I thought I'd done anything wrong when I did the same things you did. An I said no. An she said _then why are you mad at him for not being punished for something you don't think is bad?_ An I told her I didn't know. That I didn't understand what was wrong with me and what was right about you that everyone treats you different."

"An then she asked if Cid was homophobic. An even though I knew what she meant, I was confused," Ven whispered. "I never knew homophobia was really possible, you know? I thought it was... common sense. I thought I... homos got gay because of... well, sexual abuse, or somethin', an that they all had mental disorders. I thought _I_ had a mental disorder. I know I'm fucked up, _really_ fucked up, but... I thought I was fucked up because I started actin' on my gayness... not... I don't fuckin' know," he snarled, furious at humiliated. After taking a long breath, he relaxed. "She asked if I thought the world had a place for me an I said no. I said there's nowhere for me. An she asked if there was a place in the people who loved me. An I said no one loves me. An then she said, do you think Roxas loves you?" Tears were invading his vision again. They invaded Roxas', too, making him sniff and his lower lip tremble. When Ventus saw him crying, he furrowed his brows in shock and hope, asking in a low voice, "well... do... d-do you think you... love me?"

Roxas stared at him aghast. Then, scrunching up his face, he blubbered that of course he loved Ventus. A weight seemed to lift off the man's shoulders, carrying his chest up in spurts as he grimaced. "Then why did you tell me no one would love me? Why did you tell me to kill myself?"

"Because I wanted to hurt your feelings," Roxas whimpered. "I'd never seen you anything but angry and I wanted to make you cry, so I picked the worst thing I could think of and said it."

"So you didn't want me to kill myself?" Ventus asked. Roxas gaped in disbelief. "No!" he cried. "If I wanted you to kill yourself, I wouldn't have saved you!"

"Did you save me because you'd feel guilty if I died?" Ventus intoned, defensiveness cooling his voice.

"No!" Roxas gasped. "Remember when I went to your apartment and said I was sorry, and that I wanted us to be brothers?"

"Uh..." Ventus gulped, faltering to recall it.

"Well, that's all I could think about," Roxas insisted. "All I could think about was how much I wanted us to be brothers."

"But did you worry that without me you wouldn't get onto the varsity team?" Ventus insisted. Roxas shook his head again. "If I wanted to get on the varsity team, I wouldn't have risked my life saving you. How can anyone play football when they're dead?"

Ventus pierced with a glare, whipping his gaze back and forth in desperate search of weakness. Then, averting his gaze, he muttered that he didn't believe Roxas, casting his glower over the sea. Roxas curbed his anger and blew out a deep breath, muttering that there was no use trying to prove something that Ventus didn't want to believe.

"All I know is that it makes me sad to see you sad, and I get happy when I see you happy."

"An you get angry when you see me angry?" Ventus mocked. Roxas shook his head.

"No," he said. "It makes me really upset. When you get angry, I feel like you don't love me. I feel like I might as well crawl in a hole and die and you wouldn't bat an eye. And that feeling makes me angry."

Ventus brows smoothed over in thought. "I never thought of it that way," he whispered. Then he glanced up. "It's funny. I feel like it's only right that you should love me... but if you asked if I loved you, I'd say I don't know. But that's not your fault," he added quickly. "It's just cause I guess... I guess you don't really know if you love someone until you're forced to choose between them an somethin' real precious, or after you've given up lovin' them an you just realize it. I loved Cloud. Cid, too, I think. A long time ago... overall I still love mom, an I love dad. But I ain't never not been disappointed by someone I loved."

"Do you think I'd disappoint you?" Roxas asked.

"It's inevitable," Ventus responded, pausing. Then, he shrugged, murmuring, "When it comes down to it, I guess I do love you. I'd say I like you now, too. You seem like a good kid, like Cloud said. Nicer than me, anyway." Silence returned. Then, scowling, Ventus hissed that he felt awkward enough to die.

"Please don't," Roxas responded through a grimace. Ventus laughed and said he was too strong. "Mrs. Tui said I was strong." Then he paused.

"You know why I tried to end it, right?" he asked. Roxas murmured that he thought Ventus had felt too hopeless to continue, but Ventus snorted and said that that wasn't it at all. "I ain't weak. You name a habit and I can quit it cold turkey, withdrawal and everything. No, I tried ending it for you," he said smoothly, staring across the sea in satisfaction. "I thought it might make y'alls life easier if I was gone after the video got out, an if you guys didn't want me an Vanitas didn't want me, then who the hell else would after the video? So it was my only choice, really. I never expected you to be so acceptin'. I thought at the least you woulda been ashamed."

"No, I felt sorry for you," Roxas responded. Then, confused, he furrowed his brows and murmured, "but how would no one else want you if Vanitas just sent the video to us?"

The gaze that said, "you're a fucking idiot," returned to Ventus' face. "Roxas," he snorted. "You know he's plannin' on puttin' it on the Internet, right?"

"Really?" Roxas gulped. Suddenly, an image of the varsity football team reenacting the video whenever Roxas passed in the halls made him want to puke. When Ventus spied his paling expression, he pursed his lips and nodded.

"Now you get why I did it," he muttered. "Maybe when you're gettin' the shit kicked out of you because of me you'll rethink savin' my ass."

"Not if I make the varsity team," Roxas chirped suddenly, grinning in determination. "They can't touch me if I'm friends with the star striker, right?"

Ventus snorted, admiring Roxas' naivety out loud. But still, his expression lightened as he stared at his hands. The pair sat in increasingly awkward silence for another fifteen minutes. Then, Roxas cocked his head towards Ventus and pursed his lips.

"So you can quit any bad habit, cold turkey?" he confirmed. Ventus nodded. Harrumphing, Roxas asked if he could quit eating bad. Ventus snorted and rolled his eyes, saying that that was a choice, not a bad habit.

"It's a bad choice," Roxas insisted. Ventus shook his head and mumbled to himself. Silence returned. Eventually, Cid found them. Then, they trudged for the car and puttered back to the shop, all deep in thought.

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 **A/N:**

 **Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW! **


	17. Monster Reborn

**A/N: HOLY FUCK. I came back to Fanfiction after a hiatus and was surprised/ dismayed/ overjoyed at the multitude of reactions to this story. I mean, last I checked, there were, what, fourteen reviews? Now 33?! I read a few critical remarks first which REALLY got me down at a point I didn't need to feel down... so please word your reviews with care. But XX, your comment built me up so much. T.T I realy appreciate it.**

 **I LOVE YOUR PREDICTIONS! MWA HA HA! And I'm thrilled to say there will be many surprises in store. And also, Lea IS Axel. Same for Isa (Saix) and Ienzo (Zexion). I'm just calling them by their real names because I felt like it. The only reason Demyx and Larxene stayed the same is that I didn't know their 'real' names before writing this (I haven't touched KHIII yet and its absence is slowly killing my soul...) All the characters you're curious about WILL be entering the story within the next few chapters (I CANNOT FRICKIN WAIT FOR THEM TO COME IN!) And also... all the things you feel wierd/ surprised about, you have good reasons for! MWA HA HA! (Your discomfort and anxiety spark my Marie-writer-Kondo joy)**

 **One of you asked for my inspiration for this Sora? I just get really tired of common tropes and I wanted to flip the common Roxas/Sora dynamic on its head. I was also watching the world cup last summer and everyone's antics- especially Neymar's- cracked me up. He is SO self centered it's hilarious. Every time you see a world cup vet taking off their shirt slowly, posing for the camera, acting like jackasses... just imagine the Sora of this fanfiction smiling down, nodding, and wiping away a single, joyful tear of encouragement.**

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 ** _Seventeen: Monster Reborn_**

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Ventus drove Roxas to his first day of school, scanning the pickings through big black sunglasses as he pulled Cid's mangy truck into the wide parking lot on the building's right side. He'd decided to disguise himself just in case anyone had seen his sex tape, so he hunched over in a hoodie and fingerless skull gloves. Anxiety dripped from the sweat on his brow and he'd already chewed through one square of gum so relentlessly it had begun breaking into pieces. Hordes of kids of varying grades milled about outside, the older ones lounging on each other's cars, making out, chatting, or showing each other stuff on their phones while the younger ones hurried forward with sparkling blushes and new backpacks packed with fresh school supplies. An air of excitement, hope, and new beginnings trilled through the air, buoyed by the chilly autumn breeze creeping in after a long, hot summer. Ventus and Roxas looked on the spectacle as though it were leprosy, lamenting through sighs how safe they felt inside their tinted truck and how terrible it seemed slugging through the shit pile that was Twilight Town lower education. Neither of them spoke. Though Ventus had spent the last few days of summer vacation teaching Roxas fighting techniques, most of them viciously dirty and involving pens, chairs, lighters, or box cutters, Roxas failed to remember a cent of it. Gulping, he gripped his backpack with one hand and rested the other on the passenger door handle. Then, he closed his eyes and groaned.

"Roxas," Ventus growled. "I got my 'be well' classes in thirty fuckin' minutes."

Roxas whimpered and opened the door, wincing at the rush of noise that rushed up his cheeks like a wave. As he turned and pouted, Ventus snorted and pointed to the football field nearby.

"Just remember," he said. "If anyone fucks with you, bottle the anger and save it for the pitch."

"Okay," Roxas muttered, calming as he tapped the toes of his new shoes and squeezed the straps of his backpack down. He had wanted to bring his athletic gear and cleats to class, but Ventus had ingeniously surmised that a bully might steal or destroy them if given the chance. So Roxas crossed his fingers and hoped that Ventus would remember to bring them to the pitch that evening.

As he clambered forward, Ventus stopped him and leaned through the passenger seat. "Remember," he intoned. "Tap the fists, get a hold of left, go under, drive him over, curb stomp. Like slamming on the breaks."

"Don't you have your meeting, Ven?" Roxas snapped in irritation, peering over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching. When he noticed the varsity football team parked side by side in brand new cars, staring at him, he whipped around and resisted the urge to vomit, staring at the ground as Ventus went on about how it was just a joke.

"The way you _really_ catch a motherfucker off guard is..." Ventus trailed off, blanching when he looked at the dashboard clock. Snarling, "fuck!" he turned to Roxas and muttered that he was running late. Then, ever so slowly, he began pulling away with the passenger door still open. "I'd say have fun," he called out as Roxas began walking. "But I'm realistic so I'll just say good luck."

"Thank you," Roxas called back in a drone, his Highwind blush burning him crimson as the passenger door slammed shut and the truck roared into the distance. Before anyone could sneak up on him, he hurried to the school walls and hunted around the front doors for Hayner and Pence. When he saw them, huddled in a corner, sitting on their backpacks, playing Yu-Gi-Oh! he gusted out in relief.

Pence looked a little thinner from the last time Roxas saw him. His eczema seemed to have cleared up. Hayner had shaved his needle like hair. Now he was serving Usher-slash-skin-head realness, replete with camo joggers, a black tank top, and a denim jacket that was too big for him. He was wearing a new pair of Nikes, too. The look suited him. He glanced around with pink cheeks, no doubt peeking around for Olette.

Grinning like a cheshire cat, Roxas leaned forward and ninja sprinted towards them, using his new football skills to dodge from student to student without slowing down. When he reached their side, he jabbed Pence's shoulders and shouted, "BOO!"

Pence screamed and threw his cards in the air, whipping around and clutching his heart when he saw it was only Roxas.

"You mother trucker!" he said hoarsely, regaining normal breath as Roxas burst into laughter.

When Roxas whipped towards Hayner, the boy was glowering, averting his gaze. Roxas' smile disappeared. When he asked what was wrong, Hayner scoffed and said he'd know if he called him at all during the summer.

When Roxas realized what he was saying, he winced in remembrance. Then he caved and muttered that Cid had found out about the gay porn.

"No!" Pence gasped.

Roxas nodded, muttering that Ventus had somehow heard about it and told on him. "Cid thinks we're gay for each other," he added, making Hayner lurch and Pence gape in surprise.

"Really?" Hayner whispered, suspicion coloring his voice with a hiss.

Roxas nodded.

Hayner indicated the carpark. "Then why were you and Ventus so buddy buddy getting out of his car?"

"Well..." Roxas started, licking his lips in hesitation. In the end he murmured that it had been a tough summer. "Ventus seems to be getting nicer," he tried, making Hayner harrumph and Pence glance from one boy to the other in concern. Something in the taller boy's superior gaze made Roxas angry.

"I don't remember either of you trying to text me in the interim," he muttered.

"I guess you were too busy playing football or whatever to realize I had my phone taken away," Hayner drawled, sweeping up his Yu-Gi-Oh! cards and shoving them in his pocket. "Got grounded cause I looked up porn on my mom's computer, too."

"He didn't even erase the history," Pence snorted in glee, making Hayner shoot him a betrayed glance.

Roxas insisted that he had been busy practicing because he wanted to get on the varsity team. "Cid said he wouldn't believe I was straight until I got on it," he insisted. "As punishment he made Ventus take over training me from Cloud."

"Yikes," Pence winced. When Hayner asked how it went, Roxas said that at first it was torture. Then, he gave a grin of excitement. "But look at my muscles!"

When he pulled up his shirt and showed Pence and Hayner his abs, their eyes widened and they cooed "ooooh!"

Prodding at himself, Pence sniffed that he was going to feel body conscious around the two of them from now on.

Hayner laughed and rubbed his hand over his scalp, peeking around again. When something caught his eye, he gasped and snapped his gaze to his feet. Roxas peered over his shoulder in curiosity. Sure enough, Olette was a few paces away, deep in conversation with a girl pale enough to be translucent. The mystery girl's hair hung in messy, peroxide blond strands around her face, and she put her palm to her mouth every time she smiled, even though her pink braces were clearly visible in profile. Olette had gotten gold highlights, the contrast a little jarring for her dark auburn hair. But she flipped it back and forth in hidden satisfaction, messing with her fresh side fringe with careful strokes.

"She looks so truckin' hot this year," Hayner said in such a warble he seemed on the verge of tears. When Roxas glanced at his expression, he grew concerned that the boy would spontaneously ejaculate in the middle of the school lawn.

Once Hayner noticed that Olette and her friend were peering towards the three of them and giggling, he gulped and readjusted his jacket.

Roxas continued to stare over his shoulder. When he caught the translucent girl's eye, she crumpled with a blush, giggling madly into her fringe as Olette copied her. It made Roxas furrow his brows. Then, he gaped in realization.

"The video..." he whispered to himself.

"What?" Hayner asked.

"Nothing," Roxas said quickly, digging out his schedule from the front of his backpack and showing it to Hayner and Pence to see if they had overlapping classes.

Pence and Roxas had accelerated english, PE, and world history together. Roxas was alone for biology and precalculus, but he and Hayner were taking french and art so Hayner could get closer to Olette. As the bell rang and students began filing down the halls, Pence and Roxas said goodbye to Hayner and rushed to english. There were no assigned seats, so they slunk to the back of the classroom at top speed. Before Roxas could get there, though, their teacher, a caramel skinned woman with big brown eyes and long, braided black hair, called Roxas over to speak to him.

Flushing in terror, he lowered his head and prayed that she would not mention the video. Instead, she beamed and patted his hand, asking in a whisper if he knew her mother in law, Tala Tui. Roxas gaped and cocked his head to the side, asking if Mrs. Tui had talked about him.

"No, no, she'd never talk about her patients!" the teacher said with a wink. Roxas peeped over his shoulder to see if anyone was listening. Luckily only Pence and a group of dark hoodied guys with safety pins plugged through their earlobes were present.

"She just hinted that she may have gotten me two new dancers for my hula zumba class!" The english teacher chirped. "When I asked who, she said Roxas and Ven, and when I asked her your last name, I realized you were in my class!"

"Oh, no," Roxas corrected with a wince. "No, you're thinking of my brother, Ven. I never said I'd-"

"Oh, but she was so sure!" the english teacher said as if crushed.

Roxas decided to leave it and muttered that he may not have time because he was thinking of playing a sport.

"Which one?" the teacher whispered.

When Roxas glanced over his shoulder, he saw that the seats surrounding Pence had begun filling up. Soon, there would be nothing but the front row. Shuffling from foot to foot in distress, he snapped that he wanted to try out for the varsity football team on Friday evening and that if he got on it he would be booked every evening after.

"You will not," the english teacher snorted. "Varsity practices in the morning. You'd be ripe for my six pm class on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays!" she chirped. "Dancing is such an important skill for a young man. So underserved. And my sixteen year old daughter is in it, too!" she added, flipping a photo frame so Roxas could see a picture of the girl. If he had been straight, he would have been overjoyed at the prospect of dancing with her. Instead, he winced, muttered thank you, and turned.

When he spied the seat pickings, he groaned. Only the front center one was available. As he sat, what felt like hundreds of eyes, especially female for some reason, trailed along his form. He wondered if Cloud's makeover, his contacts, and the hair trim he had gotten yesterday had transformed him. Cringing, he slipped between a swarm of the smartest dancers, cheerleaders, theatre girls, and to his surprise, the same blonde who had stood with Olette outside school that morning. As he kept his head down to avoid eye contact, the teacher stood and clapped her hands, pulling up the projector screen to reveal a blackboard with a cute drawing of her name along with the correct way to pronounce it.

"Hello, everyone!" she sang. "My name is Mrs. Tui! That's pronounced Too-wee with the emphasis on the Too! Everyone say it _too,_ " she added, conducting them like a band.

The chorus came out monotone and under enunciated, but everyone got the name right. She went down the line one by one, asking everyone to say their name and provide a way to pronounce them like she had. When she got to the pale girl with the braces, she blushed and said her name was "Naminé.

"Like Naw," the pale girl started, flipping her hand down in a 'shucks, no' gesture, "me," pointing to herself, and "nay," doing a small portion of the Nay-Nay.

Roxas giggled out loud, clapping his hand over his mouth when the whole class stared at him. When some of the girls surrounding giggled as well, Naminé beamed and hid her face beneath her fringe. Mrs. Tui grinned and sailed down the line, landing on Roxas and indicating for him to go.

"Uh, it's Roxas," Roxas said quietly. "Like Rocks," he said, miming tumbling rocks, "and then..." sheepishly, he trailed off into nothing. The people surrounding twittered with laughter.

"Emphasis on the Rox," he added sternly, the sudden fear that someone would give him a nickname like "Rocky ass" for the rest of the year clamping him by the throat. More laughter ensued.

After going through everyone's name, the class played another ice breaker. Then Mrs. Tui announced that everyone better get used to the seat they had chosen, because it was theirs for the rest of the semester. Roxas gaped in dejection, staring over his shoulder at Pence in longing. When he was met with the amorous glance of a girl from the volleyball team instead, he pursed his lips and swiveled around in shock.

For the rest of class, Mrs. Tui passed out and discussed the syllabus. Then, Roxas escaped to biology, where everyone had preassigned lab partners and tables. When Roxas reached his, he found he was seated beside the same pale girl from his english class. Relieved at seeing a familiar face, he slipped in beside her and said hello.

When she snapped up and saw that they were working together, she nearly screeched. Then, forcing back a giggle, she held out her hand and said her name was Naminé.

"I know," Roxas said. "I remember you from last class."

"You do?" Naminé gulped in surprise.

Roxas nodded and said that she did the Nay-Nay.

She blushed, stuttering that it had been a stupid, spur of the moment thing and that she couldn't dance to save her life.

"That's okay," Roxas shrugged. "I thought it was funny."

The way she looked at him made him slightly uncomfortable. But she was one of the few girls he had ever gotten along with easily. He found himself chatting with her throughout the entire class. After eating lunch, he lumbered to precalculus. Unfortunately, Naminé was not there to save him. He stared forward with olympian effort as half the varsity football team glowered at him from the back of the room. Then, he went to art class and met Naminé again, sitting across from her and Olette. When Hayner came in as well, he made him sit at the same table. As he and Naminé chatted, Olette and Hayner stumbled through conversation, Hayner looking on the verge of fainting the entire time.

When the last bell rang, Roxas' shaven, smitten friend drifted off to the school bus with a whispered, "I love you, man." Then, Cid's truck pulled up, Roxas hopped in, and Ventus took him to the football pitch down the street. Unconnected to the school pitch and free of anything but youth clubs, they had the whole expanse practically to themselves. They drilled, scrimmaged, stretched, and swapped muted updates until late. Then, uncharacteristically satisfied with his day, Roxas pressed his face against the passenger window and hummed to himself as they drove home.

•∞•

"So Roxas," Hayner asked over lunch that Friday.

Roxas glanced up in curiosity.

He, Hayner, and Pence were huddled under a mimosa tree near the entrance to the cafeteria. Only smokers, musicians, and people who didn't care about popularity and being seen sat outside. Roxas could see Olette and Naminé drawing in sketchbooks close to the glass doors. When he glanced towards them, he caught Naminé's staring eye and waved. In response she gasped, hid behind her notebook, and began sketching feverishly. Hayner tried peeking at Olette over his shoulder, losing a lump of mac and cheese to his jeans as he gazed. Scowling and swearing, he scraped the food away and licked it off his finger. Then he examined the stain it had left on the light wash and groaned in dejection.

"Now Olette's gonna think I'm a slob," he muttered, shaking his head.

"No she won't," Roxas insisted. "Just because you spilled a little macaroni doesn't mean you're done for."

As Roxas snuggled back into his own packed lunch, Hayner and Pence shared a glance. When Roxas gazed at them again, he frowned and asked what was wrong. Hayner shrugged and muttered that he had changed a lot.

"You even talk different," he murmured. Roxas gaped with incredulity, demanding to know how he had changed.

"I don't know... you just sound all, well... smart, and educated, and _adult_ ," Hayner snapped, wrinkling his nose on the last word as if it were a bad smell.

Roxas blushed as he thought about it, putting his hand over his mouth in amazement while wondering if his time with Cloud and Ventus had, just maybe, made him cooler. With bolstered confidence, he swiveled around to ask Naminé and Olette to come join them. What greeted him instead was a portion of the male varsity football team, bursting through the glass double doors past the pair of girls' sketchbooks, trundling right for Roxas' gaze.

As he gaped and swiveled around, he hissed, "motherfucker!" making Pence and Hayner jolt out of their socks. When they stared at him gobsmacked, he hissed for them to eat their lunch as fast as possible.

"This is in every movie," he snarled, scarfing down the remainder of his packed lunch and stuffing his lunchbox to the bottom of his backpack. "If you leave any traces, they'll use the food against you!" As everyone winced through a painful swallow, Roxas felt a shadow pass over his left side. Shuddering in a breath, he steeled himself and turned around.

Sora stood directly above him, flanked by three seniors: Lea, Isa, and Demyx, and two juniors: Riku and Seifer. Hayner and Pence peeped at the exchange from under their eyelashes, hands jittering at their sides beneath the tabletop. As Roxas orbited back to face his friends as slowly as possible, Sora leaned on either side of him and put a hand on his shoulder. Roxas winced as it fell, attempting with all his might to stay strong. He had a pen in his pocket. He reviewed Ven's stabbing techniques in his head. If things got hairy, he could tell Pence and Hayner to run and take one for the team. Instead, Sora leaned close to his ear, and shouted, "if it isn't Mr. Famous!"

The color left Roxas' face. He glanced around to Sora's friends in horror, sure that a phone would pop out to replay Ventus' sex tape at any moment. The seniors and juniors crossed their arms over their fronts, Riku and Demyx smug, while Isa stood close to Lea (who sported a false tragic look) and glowered as if ready to pounce.

Roxas gulped and turned around, wincing when he saw Sora's phone in front of him. Shuddering, he made himself stare at the screen. Some kind of short, repeating video had opened up with the white text **PEEPING TOM ALERT, FRIENDZZZ! HIDE YO' KIDDSS!** along with an emoji skull and crossbones.

The video was of the school hallway. The cameraman shot behind a boy with a crimson man bun. When the man bun turned, shielded his pectorals, and fake sobbed, Roxas saw that it was Lea. Ahead was Roxas, walking at Pence's side.

As Roxas watched his repeating self on the screen and remained silent in befuddlement, Sora pressed out of the current app, called Snapchat, and got on Instagram, pulling up a WANTED picture flanked by Roxas' ghastly ninth grade yearbook photo. Under it was the text, **ROXAS** **HIGHWIND, 10TH GRADE LOSER. Wanted for hiding in the clocktower and jacking off as Lea had sex with his girlfriend. Gay-meter over 9,000. Will ejaculate on sight if faced with naked male asses.**

For a moment Roxas remained frozen in disbelief. When he looked up at Sora, the boy grinned back as if he had just shown his best friend his lottery winnings. Suddenly, Roxas understood.

Sora had not seen the sex tape at all. It was probable that Vanitas had not even posted it online yet.

Looking away and thanking his lucky stars, Roxas let out a muffled snort.

Hayner and Pence whipped up and stared at him as if he was crazy.

Roxas tried on a glower, but he couldn't help but smile.

Sora furrowed his brows at his side. "Wait..." he said slowly. "Why... why are you so... unfazed?"

Roxas peered at his hands. Then he shrugged that he didn't know. "I just..." he continued, wetting his lips and frowning. It was true. He had no idea why he didn't care right now. Maybe it was because he was too worried about everything else in his life, especially the fact that Ventus would be watching his varsity tryouts today and that if he didn't get on the team, the man would be crushed. But, he reasoned with himself, on Thursday evening, Ventus had insisted to him that he didn't need to get on the varsity team this year to feel special, that Ventus would continue practicing with him if he wanted to. It turned out the man really enjoyed coaching, at least because it gave him an excuse to play football for three hours a day.

"Hey, pervert!" Sora snarled suddenly, wrenching Roxas around to face him. "I'm talking to you!"

Instinctually, Roxas stood and faced him, making him back away in surprise. Hayner and Pence held back audible whimpers as Roxas leaned forward.

"You know I didn't look at Lea on purpose," Roxas whispered. "If he wants an apology, I'll give him one. Otherwise, find someone else to torture."

Before Roxas could turn around, Sora shrugged and called Lea over. The man scrambled to his side, making Hayner and Pence glance towards each other and reach out to hold hands.

Suddenly, with Sora and his towering senior friend side by side, Roxas felt less brave. But he forced himself to make eye contact and gulped. Lea grinned down at him, scratching his chin in blushing satisfaction.

Sora cocked his head towards him and smirked. "Well, here he is," he chirped. "Go ahead."

Roxas grimaced. Then, he turned to Lea and said he was sorry for watching him. "I was too scared to run, so I stayed and hid up the stairs. I'm sorry for harassing you and I'm sorry for invading your privacy," he intoned.

Lea cocked his head back and forth in mock indecision. When Sora asked if he felt good with the apology, the redhead sighed that he just didn't know.

"I'd feel better if he did a naked handstand in the middle of the pitch," he chirped. "On film."

Roxas' cheeks when firetruck red in a mixture of indignation, fear, and humiliation.

Sora grinned and looked him up and down, whispering that that sounded like a fantastic idea. "How about it, perv?" he sneered. "Willing to strip for a good cause?"

Roxas' mouth fell open in shock. He thought of Ventus. About how he had sacrificed his privacy in order to protect Roxas against whatever Vanitas' 'conditions' had been, conditions that Roxas had a bad feeling about but might never know. Clamping up, he shook his head and said he would never do anything like that on film.

Lea and Sora glanced towards each other under their brows. Then they shrugged and nodded.

"Cool," Sora chirped. "Expect us to make your life hell."

Before he and Lea could walk away, Roxas got an idea. "Hey!" he called. When Sora and Lea turned, he beamed.

"I'll make you a deal," he whispered. "If I make the varsity team, you leave me alone. If I don't, I'll make your video, no complaints."

Sora and Lea glanced towards each other again. Then they asked Roxas if they could speak with their delegation. When they lumbered back to Riku, Demyx, and Isa, and whispered in low tones, Isa snarled and slammed his fist into his palm as he stared Roxas' way. Roxas kept eye contact, willing them to take up his offer. Sure enough, Sora nodded and called over his shoulder, "you've got a deal, perv! See you on the pitch!" Then, the group left, making Olette and Naminé glance Roxas' way in curiosity.

When Hayner asked what the fuck Roxas had just done, Roxas shrugged. Then, emboldened, he asked in a shout if Olette and Naminé wanted to sit with them. The girls scrambled over in an instant, Hayner holding back from pissing himself by the skin of his teeth.

"Why the nut did you do that, Roxas?" he whined. Roxas grinned at him and shrugged. "If I don't make the team tonight, I'll become such a school wide embarrassment that Olette may not want to come near us anymore. I just thought I'd give you more time with her, just in case."

Hayner gulped as Olette squeezed in at his side. When Naminé sat beside Roxas, he saw that she had been drawing the mimosa tree over his head. When he murmured that she was good, she blushed, opened her mouth to ask a question, and then faltered into silence.

Roxas was certain she was curious about what Sora, the most popular boy in school, had just said. But Roxas couldn't think about that right now. All he could think about were ways to beg Ventus to pump him up for his tryout. Now he really had a stake in the game.

•∞•

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW! **


	18. Sogen

**A/N: Hello again! I'm still amazed at the support this is getting. It was originally a side project, but it's gotten so big now that I'm more passionate about continuing it. Thank you guys.**

 **One of you said in the comments, "can't Vanitas get arrested for sex with a minor?" In this fan fiction, Ventus is 25 years old- 10 years older than Roxas and Sora just like in the game. I know this is hard to understand because most fanfics make them twins, but in this, they are just brothers, with Ventus and Roxas being QUITE a few years apart. For clarity's sake: Ventus is 25, Vanitas is 25-27 (I never really figured out an exact age), Cloud is 24, and Roxas and Sora are 15.**

 **In most fanfics, Ventus is presented as a child, or teen, but in this, I wanted to concentrate on what a _manly_ Ventus might look like. I know he is extremely AU/OC, but that's the way I wrote him. Instead of imagining him as looking _exactly_ like Roxas, just imagine them having an uncanny resemblance. The age gap also creates a Foil: Ventus is a nightmare vision of Roxas in ten years. He's the could-have-been 'famous older brother.' Cid compares the two of them all the time. I just think that dynamic is so juicy! So don't get mad at me for making Ventus so much older! ****If it seems somehow preposterous, just know this kind of resemblance happens in real life. My brothers and I get mistaken for triplets _constantly_ , when to us, we look nothing alike. Also, Cloud takes after his father and grandfather (Cid) while Ventus and Roxas take after their mother.**

 **As for the Lea situation, I got nothin' :P. I'm glad you all like him. Just continue to give him a chance, I've got a lot of stuff in mind for everyone in this story.**

* * *

•∞•

 ** _Eighteen: Sogen_**

•∞•

"You ready?" Ventus muttered under his hood, shooting furtive glances this way and that like a vagrant who'd freshly escaped the authorities. He even had a drawn poxcutter poking out of his pocket. When Roxas whined for him to relax and put the weapon away, he twirled it around in his palm and resheathed it like a dagger.

The soccer team was already practicing in the pitch beside the school, half doing laps as the other half set up cones and balls for drills. Roxas watched them in terror, hands shaking as he bit back the urge to cry. He felt eyes watching him. At first he thought they belonged to Sora, or Riku, or Lea, or any one of the high school players. But then he realized the gaze belonged to his brother.

When they met eyes, Roxas couldn't help but come out with the truth. He was nervous beyond belief.

Ventus pursed his lips in indecision. Then, caving, he reached over his shoulder, wrestled out the mesh bag of balls, cleats, and cereal boxes from beneath the backseat, kicked open the driver door, and slugged everything onto the pavement. Then he cocked his hooded head towards the pitch and told Roxas to set up.

As Roxas lugged the bag to the pitch and set up the cereal boxes, Ventus stripped out of his jeans into a pair of shorts, tore his hoodie quickly over his head, shoved over his long-sleeved, moisture wicking athletic top, and called for Roxas to start laps.

Roxas nodded, stood rigid, leaned forward, and fired off, bursting as fast as he could.

At first he sailed around with head bent low, wishing he was a blur so no one could see him. Then the sound of pattering footsteps grew close. When he glanced over his shoulder, he noticed Ventus catching up. When the man met his side, they charged together, a familiar fire blazing in Ven's eyes as he smiled, unencumbered by the need to hide himself. It warmed Roxas up. When they finished laps, they drilled. Then, they scrimmaged.

Ventus cut him no slack. The man made him livid with rage, toying with him and running around with lacrosse stick in hand, blocking the ball as he saw fit, making it impossible for Roxas to do anything but trip over his feet. Whenever Roxas fell flat on his face, Ventus cackled, sneering, "I trained with you for three weeks for this bullshit? Fuckin' waste of time," or "Did you just forget everythin' I taught you?" or worst, "stop gettin' distracted by that guy's ass!"

That one made Roxas blush, scramble up, and bite down twice as hard, charging and diving for the ball at every angle. When he tired himself out so much he could do nothing more than the essential, he began to calm, sinking into a rhythm where he and Ventus could understand each other without saying a word. When a bell sounded nearby and Roxas whipped around in fear, Auron was waving him over. Roxas gulped, feeling all of his hard work drain through his feet as anxiety replaced it.

Ventus' hand fell on his shoulder, pinning him down. "Don't fuckin' worry about it, Rox," he muttered, surprising Roxas with the way he said his name.

When Roxas said that he didn't want their training to be for nothing, Ventus whacked him over the head and made him cry out in indignation. When the man pinned him with a stern glance and pointed finger, Roxas silenced.

Ventus glared and hissed, "It doesn't. Fuckin'. Matter." Then he shrugged and repeated himself, adding, "your success is up to you. If you want it, you'll make it. Today, tomorrow, who gives a fuck? Do you have fun when you're playin'?"

"I have fun when I'm playing with you," Roxas said shyly, gazing from his feet to Ventus' downturned face from under his lashes.

The man's eyes widened. Then, akin to the way he had looked when he cried before Roxas in the bathroom, he softened and giggled. Suddenly attacked with awkwardness, he pursed his lips, reached out, and savagely ruffled Roxas' hair, making him blush and giggle as well. Then, smiling at each other, they nodded and parted ways, Ventus snatching all of their supplies and heaving them to the truck, where he forced the hoodie back over his head, hunkered into the driver's seat, and unsheathed a pair of Cid's old binoculars usually kept in the glove compartment.

Roxas gave him one last look. Then he jogged to Auron's side. The man had just started explaining the first drill.

When he saw Roxas approaching, he frowned and snapped for the boy not to dawdle. "Pretty lame impression to be late on your first day," he intoned. "Anything you said to your brother then you could have said later. Hey!"

Roxas' vision had been drawn again to Ventus' incessant binocular viewing. He could see him cringing in the truck, biting his nails. So much for "doesn't fuckin' matter" or whatever inspirational bullshit the man had come out with while warming up.

When Roxas snapped around, Auron was glaring at him. It made him shrink. Sora and the other varsity team members grinned in satisfaction, while the assistant coach, a portly man with weird, middle parted bangs and a tragic goatee, pursed his lips and shook his head. A few auditioning JV members grinned as well, no doubt hoping to secure a spot from Roxas' failure.

Crushed but determined, Roxas fixed his jaw and apologized under his breath.

Auron glanced back to the assistant coach and sighed. Then he explained the warm up from the beginning, saying that the teams would start with laps then break up for drills. "You and your brother were practicing the majority of our regular fare over there," he drawled, cocking his head lazily Roxas' way. "So I've cooked up some special exercises that you'll have no idea how to do."

Roxas nearly shit himself. Gulping, he nodded and dug his toes into his cleats, wiping the sweat pooling on his brow.

Ventus peered from the side of the truck in agony, begging the world to give him any sort of verbal clue as to what was going on.

Auron blew the whistle and told varsity to set up. Sora, Riku, Isa, Seifer, and Demyx, all pushed past Roxas' shoulder on their way, Seifer and Isa sending shoves that nearly knocked Roxas off his feet.

He had no doubt that they would try to take him down, somehow, on the field. Crossing his fingers, he followed them and asked how he could help.

Isa hissed for him to fuck off.

Auron called that varsity would set up. "If you weren't preoccupied with showing off, you might have listened," he intoned.

Roxas gulped back tears, Highwind blush burning like a flag across his cheeks and underneath his shirt. As his fists clenched, anger bubbled inside him. He stood at the sidelines with arms crossed, watching everything like a hawk. When Auron explained the first drill, he was front and center, glowering with want.

"First we'll do a fun one," Auron chortled. "Four touch, teams of four. You have to juggle four times, two on each foot, and then pass on the fourth to the next person. Whoever's trying out, come on up."

Roxas scrambled forward and was put on a team with Sora, two newbies named Joshua and Ephemer, and Riku. Riku and Sora glanced towards one another and grinned. Roxas gulped, steeling himself. He'd worked on dribbling on and off, but most of his training with Ventus had been scrimmaging, scoring, and assisting. Did that mean he was unpreprared?

Auron made two newbies go at once and one sit out. Whoever missed a pass three times or juggled wrong thrice had to switch.

Roxas went up with Joshua first. The first few passes went well enough. Though shaky on the juggling, he was able to pass decently. Joshua looked smoother. On the third round, Sora got the ball and dribbled it lazily: one- wait, two- wait, three- and then fired it straight for Roxas' face.

Roxas yelped and kicked his leg up, slinging the ball halfway across the field. Sick with embarrassment, he glanced towards Auron for what to do.

The man stared at him and nodded.

Roxas faltered, leaning forward and stumbling.

Auron scowled and told him to get the ball.

Roxas fired off in an instant, retrieving the ball and dribbling it back. When he returned and Auron asked why he hadn't just kicked it, he blushed harder, muttering that he didn't know.

"You don't get on the team by showing off between drills," Auron snapped. "You do what you came here to do or you go home."

Roxas nodded and bit his lip, returning to Sora, Riku, and Joshua.

He missed his next two passes completely, immediately striking out. He watched Joshua and Ephemer carry on in his place for what felt like ions, kicking the ground, muttering to himself, and watching Sora and Riku's passes religiously. When Joshua fumbled twice, Roxas scrambled up and took his place. This time, he did worse, too focused on one person and then the other. He was kicked out again. Then, Ephemer got his third strike and Roxas got another chance. This time, he did much better.

After that round finished, Auron changed the rules and announced that anyone could pass to whoever they wanted. Sora beamed, sneering at Roxas when they chanced to make eye contact.

Roxas snapped his gaze to the ground. Then, gulping, he steeled himself and took his awareness up as many notches as he could.

His next few rounds were abysmal. Finally, on the last, he managed to stay in the quartet for more than five minutes. He wasn't given long to celebrate before Auron switched everything up again.

Next it was stretching and sprinting exercises. Everyone present divided into four lines and lunged forward, jogged back, hiked their knees up to their chests, advanced again with rectus femurs stretches, jogged back again, and advanced with high kicking. Then came hopping and drawing the knee up, out, around, and in on either leg... then side lunges, squats, running forward, backpedaling, advancing with jumping jacks, and sprinting: on and on like ferris wheel from hell until everyone broke for a water break.

Roxas drank alone, swirling his hand around the cap of his water bottle as he tried keeping a positive outlook. He had so much energy bursting through him he feared it would devour him. He glanced up and saw Sora and Lea staring at him in glee.

When they made eye contact, Sora lifted his shirt, tucked the hem into his teeth, and did a walking handstand. Lea clapped for him as Demyx burst into excited laughter behind.

Roxas gulped as he tried ignoring them, focusing on Auron and the assistant coach instead.

The next drill was a repeat of the previous, only this time they went faster. The next was a passing exercise involving two passive players and a cone, all set in a triangle. Each person positioned themselves at one of their vertices, caught the ball, dribbled, and passed to the next person while moving up to the next cone or passive player.

"Sharper!" Auron shouted to Roxas as he kicked the ball to Sora.

Reddening, Roxas charged forward, waited for the ball to come around again, and kicked towards the inside of Sora's foot. The pass moved smoothly. Auron even said, "nice," making Roxas beam with pride.

The next passing exercise was for two people, who dribbled the ball back and forth as one kept a fixed position and the other worked towards him. When they met, they switched. Roxas found himself face to face with Sora again, passing forward and back and giving his all to control the ball whenever Sora sent a sneaky, powerful kick his way. The exercise grew more complex as more players and circuits of passes were added. Roxas kept up as best as he could, faltering and narrowly avoiding becoming overwhelmed by the sudden burst of players he was forced around.

When a pass slipped behind his feet, Auron boomed for him to get behind it.

When Roxas sent to the wrong person, Auron scowled and barked for him to pay attention.

Roxas nodded and fired again, swearing under his breath when he aimed wrong.

"Swearing won't help you pass to the right person," Auron sailed, making Roxas double down and get it right.

After the final passing exercise, the party moved into a team, tactical training session where the field was divided into six rows of four and each person, whether pink or blue jerseys, had to stay in their defensive line. Next, they were given a defensive shape of four and were tasked with guarding against goals. To Roxas' dismay, Sora was put on striking position for the opposite team. Roxas decided to guard as best as he could, staying religiously within his shape and sliding out only when the ball was close enough to kick.

"Take a chance!" Auron boomed as the ball slid three meters away from him.

Immediately, Roxas dived and launched it to the safety of the other team, gaining a collective "oh" as the opposition worked to bring it back. After that, it went straight to half field, box to box scrimmaging. Again, Roxas was put against Sora. Everyone had to touch the ball three times, one on each foot, and then one special. When Sora tried launching a ball to the goal above Roxas, the boy jumped up and head butted it away, nearly butting into another person's head who was coming his way.

"Eyes open, newbie!" Auron roared, glowering fiercely as Roxas blushed and grimaced that he was sorry to the boy he had almost hit. In the interim, Sora scored a goal.

"Talk after the game!" Auron boomed.

Roxas clenched his fists and refocused, staying in his zone and breaking out whenever Sora came his way, which was often. Not surprisingly, the boy's sole purpose seemed to be finding as many clever ways of making his nemesis look stupid as possible. Most of the time Roxas felt so flummoxed by the sheer difference between playing one on one and one on many, he forgot about everyone else except Sora until Isa, Seifer, or Riku knocked him over and pretended not to have hit him. Scrambling up every time, he bounded back into the game and eventually gained a little bit of heightened awareness, even assisting a goal scored by Lea on Sora's team.

When Lea ran over and gave him a high five, Roxas held back a grin and set his jaw, only to assist another.

"Nice one, newbie!" Lea smiled.

Roxas nodded, refusing to speak this time lest Auron become angry with him again.

The practice seemed to end barely after starting.

Roxas chugged down some water and waited around for Auron to give the newbies final directions. It was then that he found out that this was not even a normal tryout: this was for people automatically considered who they needed to narrow down. The "real" audition had been at the end of school last year, with several "maybes" being told they needed to train over summer to see if they improved.

As Roxas thought of it this way, he had the bad feeling that he would not get in, defeat overtaking him as he saw the assistant coach shake every newbie's hand except for his. It was only when someone came over and mussed his hair that he turned around with a surprised smile. At first he thought it was Lea, who despite framing him, had complemented him twice. When he saw it was Sora, he scowled and dug into the grass.

Sora stared at him as he chugged his water. Then he chirped that Roxas hadn't been as bad as he thought he would.

"You're still gonna have to handstand," he drawled, bottle cap popping as it left his lips. "No way Auron's letting you on with the way you performed."

"Thanks," Roxas muttered through a wince, hunkering down and spreading his legs in a middle split.

Sora examined his flexibility with narrowed eyes. Then he scrambled down himself and did the same, using Roxas' feet to prop up his own. He scooted so close he nearly leaned over the boy's shoulder. On the pretense of pressing down his thigh muscles, he perched his cheek beside Roxas' ear and whispered that everyone would finally get to see what _his_ bare ass looked like.

"Bet you've been training all summer," Sora scoffed. "It's only right that you should do it, you know. For what you did to Lea."

"I didn't do anything to Lea!" Roxas snapped. "And if he wants me to do a naked handstand, then maybe it should just be him who sees! I never saw his front or anything!"

"Think of the camera and full frontal as loan interest," Sora drawled self importantly. "We weren't handing you your ass immediately: we gave it a few months to itself before pouncing." He was stopped from saying anything else by Auron's approaching footsteps.

When Sora scrambled away just far enough from Auron to listen, Roxas stood and looked at the man from under his eyelashes. The head coach seemed almost... _disappointed._ Roxas stifled a glare. How much did the asshole want from him? He had never played football in his life before this summer!

Auron's tongue rolled back and forth in his mouth. He caught the eye of the assistant coach, who lumbered towards him in encouragement.

Scowling, Auron turned, set his hand on his hip, and shook his head. "I don't want to let you on," he murmured.

Roxas' shoulders fell in defeat. It took everything in him to nod and thank Auron for his time.

For a moment the man watched him trudge away. Then, he called, "are you just going to let me do that?"

When Roxas glanced around in shock, Auron glared at him.

"Is that how much you want to be on this team?" he intoned. " _'thank you for your time, sir,_ is all you're willing to give?"

"I don't want to take something I don't deserve-" Roxas started, but Auron leaned forward and silenced him.

"You don't deserve a damn thing," the man snarled, making Roxas gulp and cower. "No one deserves a damn thing. You _fight_ for what you want, you hear me? That brother of yours has been practicing with you for weeks. _He_ wanted this more than you did, didn't he?"

"No!" Roxas spat suddenly, anger flaring inside him. "I wanted it, too!" Then, gulping, he snapped, "I can do it! I may not be as fast as Sora, or Lea, or whatever, but I'm ready! All I need is practice, and I've never practiced in a group this big."

"And?" Auron drawled in disinterest.

"And I know I can do it!" Roxas insisted through tears. "You've just got to give me a chance!"

"I can see you're not getting on well with the other players," Auron warned. "You sat off by yourself: wouldn't even talk to them."

"I will!" Roxas snapped. "I'll talk to them as much as I can!"

"Roxas?" Auron asked. "Do you know why I don't want you on the team? It's not because of your skill level. I think you've got the means to be a great player."

"You do?" Roxas breathed, realizing too late that that was a mistake of an answer.

Auron pointed at him in indication. "That's it," he murmured. "That's why I don't want you. Because you take crumbs. You're a peacekeeper and a sidestepper, I saw it during every exercise, and I saw it sometimes when you played with Cloud and Leon and it worried me. I thought Ventus beat it out of you because you were finally taking chances and going for the ball like your life depended on it. But your performance today was all over the place. You were off in your head, letting others do the work until it came right your way, and getting overwhelmed and retreating. That's not the way to play."

"But," Roxas gasped, wondering how the hell he could work on _that_. "But I've spent my whole life-"

"Exactly," Auron said. "If you've spent your whole life doing it, how can I beat it out of you in the next few weeks?"

"I can do it!" Roxas insisted, feeling the words' hollowness as they left his mouth. When he heard trudging footsteps behind him and looked over his shoulder, he groaned.

Ventus was coming to save him. He had a glare that could light a thousand torches burning his face crimson. But before he could open his mouth and ruin everything, Roxas stepped in front of him and hissed that he had a place on the team just as much as anyone else.

"I may not be the new star striker as of right now," he swallowed, "but I have other skills! I may have trouble helping myself, but I know how to help others! I run as fast as I can, but when I'm in a corner, I fight with all I've got! Ventus knows!"

"Absolutely," Ventus parroted as strongly as he could from twenty feet away, narrowing and peeling his eyes as if it would force good vibes Auron's way.

Auron pursed his lips and looked from one brother to the other. When he turned back to the assistant coach, the man whispered that Roxas seemed like a good kid.

Hiking his shoulders in anxious wait, Roxas craned forward and crossed his toes in his cleats.

For a moment Auron wavered, squaring his shoulders and glancing Roxas up and down, his gaze occassionally drawn to Ventus' silent background pleading. Then, sighing in concession, the coach growled for Roxas to come back the following morning.

Roxas nearly fainted from shock. As he opened his mouth to ask if Auron was joking, the coach held up his finger in warning.

"You better come on the ball," he warned. "You're the type of kid who's good only if he wants to be good. And you better want to be good tomorrow, or you are out, you hear?"

"What if the rest of the team bullies-" Ventus started from his side, but Auron silenced him as well.

"Roxas better figure out a way to make friends on this team," Auron stated. "If not, he'll tank real fast." With that, he departed.

Roxas stared at Ventus in terror, who stared back with ominously wide eyes, the thought of 'making friends' completely foreign to him.

When Roxas peeked towards Sora, the boy stood with his mouth wide open.

Roxas gulped and held out his hand for the brunet to shake. Instead, Sora scoffed, mocking that he couldn't wait to play with Roxas tomorrow. As he passed, he hit him in the shoulder.

Roxas watched him go in stupor. When he noticed the assistant coach hanging around, he thanked him for his help.

The man waved his hand as if it were nothing. Then he held out his palm for Roxas to shake.

Roxas did so with glee.

"Great job, today, kiddo," the man chirped in a buoyant, bubbly voice, lingering in Roxas' grip so he could pat his hand. "Auron can be a bear, but I was by his side the whole time and he was really payin' attention to you. He's just puttin' on a show so you'll come back with your head screwed right."

"Huh," Roxas said with a blush, making the man grin and nod through a chuckle. A strong, rather beefy hand reached up and clamped around his shoulder, surprising him.

When Roxas giggled in confusion, the assistant coach laughed out loud, squeezed, and relinquished, saying he'd always be around to talk if Roxas ever got down. "Bein' on a team is hard work," he explained. "Especially for lone wolves like yourself. If I can't find you a way into the team's hearts, I can sure find you a way into Auron's. How's about that?"

"Yeah," Roxas nodded. "That would be great. Thank you," he added.

The man said not to mention it. Then, he patted Roxas again, smiled, and lumbered off.

For a moment Roxas and Ventus watched him go, Roxas beaming in hope, Ventus narrowing his eyes. When the brothers met each other's gaze, Ventus blew out a breath and shook his head. "Weird fuckin' guy," he muttered.

Roxas snorted, murmuring, "he's just nice. I guess you're not used to that..."

"I hate 'nice' teachers," Ventus snapped, turning for the truck. "Just fuckin' teach me an be done with it, I don't need a fuckin' kiss on the cheek, too."

"Not everyone is you," Roxas chirped, leaning at his side. "Maybe you should be an assistant coach. Seems easy."

Ventus shook his head like a whip. "Hell fuckin' no," he hissed, muttering that no one would want someone like him around kids. Then he turned to Roxas with a reluctant glance of apology. "Did Auron yell at you because I trained you wrong?" he squeaked. "I'd hate for it to be my fault if you... you know, if I kept you from the team."

"It wasn't you," Roxas sighed. "It's me. It's one of the best high school teams in the country and I've been practicing for ten weeks. These kids have been playing football their whole lives." He peered out at the rest of the varsity team in sudden, strange longing. They possessed such talent, and they took it completely for granted. Next thing he knew, Ventus' hand was on his shoulder again.

"You played when you were a kid, too, Roxas," Ventus said. "You just got out of the habit after mom and dad died. We all did. You got too caught up in fuckin' Yu Gi Oh!"

Roxas giggled against his will as Ventus patted his shoulder again. "I guess we won't know for sure if you make the team till tomorrow," he intoned.

Roxas shrugged, murmuring that there was no way to prepare now. "Except to psych myself out mentally."

"Don't do that, Roxas," Ventus insisted. "That asshole lied about one thing. You don't have to fight all the time, but you do have to be ready to fight when it's necessary. It's not about clawin' tooth and nail every moment, then you're just workin' too hard, which I saw you doin' whenever you made a mistake and tried to overcompensate. It's not the fightin' that matters. It's knowin' that you have what it takes to win."

"What if I'm just used to losing?" Roxas whispered.

Ventus snorted and said that was wrong. "You're so afraid of losin' that you never even play," he insisted. "That's your life, Roxas. But today, you made a choice and put yourself on the line. And your victory may be up in the air, but this is a victory."

"Yeah," Roxas whispered with bolstered pride.

"If I need to give you incentive, I will," Ventus insisted. "Name your price an I'll meet it. But you've got to get in."

"Okay," Roxas nodded.

"An you better think it up right now," Ventus intoned. "You gotta _feel_ the victory or _rue_ the loss, an to do that, you gotta know what you're playin' for."

"Ask a random person on a date," Roxas blurted out. "I have to be there when it happens and I have to agree that they're decent."

"Oh, motherfucker," Ventus scowled in vexation. Roxas beamed as he thought of something else. "It can be a girl or a boy!" he chirped. "The girl can be a friend date, but the boy has to be a love date!"

"Roxas..." Ventus whined. Then, caving, he snapped that Roxas had a deal. "An since I'd rather skin myself alive than do that shit," he intoned, "you can expect not to get any help warmin' up tomorrow."

•∞•

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 **A/N:**

 **Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW! **


	19. Scapegoat

**A/N: Hey Roxyblues! I'm sorry for tormenting you.** **Kids in sports die every year from hazing just because some asshole they thought was their teammate decided to "have some fun." The 'why' in those stories never makes sense to me. But reasons for Sora and Axel's behavior will become** **more apparent as the story goes on.**

 **Fun fact for everyone, (well, not fun at all) association football is chock full of homophobia. Up until a few years ago, coming out of the closet before retirement ruined careers of some of the best players in the world. I've been slacking on trigger warnings for each chapter, so I'm going to get more diligent with those so you're not blindsided each chapter. That said:**

 **WARNING: Hazing, Language, Sexual Harassment, Homophobia**

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•∞•

 ** _Nineteen: Scapegoat_**

•∞•

Cid dropped Roxas to the pitch at six thirty am, calling in a sluggish, half asleep way that Roxas would "do great." Roxas wondered if he even realized that technically, his grandson was already part of the team.

He had been awake since five: forty five minutes spent lying in bed staring wide eyed at the ceiling, the other forty five pulling on his sport attire and shepherding Cid out of bed so he could take him to the field.

Even though he arrived thirty minutes early, there were already three other players milling about. One of them, Ephemer, was the same boy he had drilled with the day before. For a moment Roxas watched him converse with two other underclassmen from the safety of the carpark. Then, he sucked in a deep breath, bolstered himself up, and forced himself to go say hi.

As he reached Ephemer's back, he cleared his throat. After that didn't work he tried a short "hello," which came out more like a squeaking burp than actual language. Ephemer cocked his head subconsciously to the sound, registering it but not recognizing it as human.

When Roxas finally tapped him on the shoulder, the silveret whipped around and beamed, crying out in delight and saying he was glad Roxas made it. "I don't see our other drill buddy, though," he whispered with a wince.

He must have been talking about Joshua, the other sophomore Roxas had drilled with against Sora during warm ups the day before.

Shit. Had Roxas taken the spot of a more capable player?

While Ephemer sauntered over to talk with a boy named Gula, a newbie girl named Skuld, and two freshly arrived seniors named Ava and Invi, Roxas forced himself to tag along and drug his feet around the ground, begging himself to come up with something funny or cool to make him feel part of the group. When he swallowed and asked if Ephemer wanted to warm up with him before everyone else arrived, Ephemer beamed and said he'd love to.

The four sophomore boys present trained together until Auron arrived, Roxas figuring out quickly that he was the weakest link out of all of them. Focus seemed impossible under these circumstances. He dreaded to see his performance with the rest of the team, but he was determined to make his mark, even if only for a day. It especially didn't help when the sound of screeching wheels rumbled over the carpark like Valkyries, followed by horn honks and howls of whooping laughter. Roxas couldn't help himself. He had to stare into the face of the beast.

Kairi's pink convertible whizzed up, followed by a Jeep and two sedans Roxas should have recognized the make of. Varsity members hung from every crevice: leaning dangerously out a window here, jabbering to someone in a following car there. Sora nestled like a king in Kairi's passenger seat: feet on the dashboard, arms splayed out on either side of him, (one draped over Kairi's shoulders, the other lounging out the window) and crown necklace rolling along his tongue as he balanced the chain with his bottom teeth in a crooked, smug grin. When he noticed the band of newbies already gathered on the pitch, he slipped down his legs, craned out the window, and bellowed, "first practice of the season, motherfuckers!"

Applause like rolling thunder followed. It could have passed for inspiring, had Roxas not been so terrified.

Gulping, he whipped around and croaked for the rest of the sophomores to keep drilling. When Gula grinned and went to greet the other varsity members as they parked, a freshman newbie named Tidus charged onto the pitch from the opposite street. He looked terrified and desperate at once. When he reached Roxas, Ephemer, and the other sophomore named Neku, he asked if he was late.

They shook their heads.

"Oh, thank god," the freshman croaked with tears in his eyes. "I hear there's a locker room penalty for lateness."

"Locker room penalty?" repeated Neku.

Gasping to regain a stable breathing pattern, Tidus nodded and gulped that his buddy from the polo team, Wakka, had told him about it. "They get you naked and whip you with towels as you sing and dance the national anthem. Or maybe that's the swim team..." he blubbered in confusion, hyperventilating again.

The girls' soccer team converged on the left side of the benches, the boys' on the right. It was almost performative how fast and furiously they separated, only to shoot leering, cheeky glances at each other from fifteen yards away. Every once in a while a brave soul would sneak from one side to the other, until Roxas forgot the point of everyone separating in the first place. When he shot a dull glance over his shoulder from where he was drilling, he met Sora's sapphire blue gaze and held back a yelp. In the interim, Ephemer's football punted him in the stomach.

"Whoa, pay attention, man!" the silverette cackled like a hypocrite, his own eyes drawn incessantly to the gaggle of upperclassmen boys draping themselves across their girlfriends. Riku casually cupped Xion's left breast, Sora massaged Kairi's back, Axel made out with Larxene on the grass, and Gula and Ava flirted with each other through coy glances and blushes.

 _Someone put me out of my misery..._ Roxas thought to himself, rolling his eyes at the ridiculous display.

It was almost sickening how cool they thought they looked. Their smug gazes and impish grins were like a gallon of milk to a sick stomach. Once fully assembled, the boys huddled together like a chorus, hugging, slamming each other on the back, and draping themselves arm in arm. Then, their one goal apparently being to outdo themselves in as obnoxious a manner as possible, they kicked their feet as high as they could and began to chant in time to each stomp.

 _Twilight Town oh Twilight Town we pledge our hearts to thee,_

 _our defense and our offense are the best you'll ever see!_

 _Cause when when we get the fever, we have to scratch our itch,_

 _we'll fuck you up the ass so hard you'll have to get it stitched!_

 _Twilight Town oh Twilight Town we're predators in heat,_

 _Our hunt is for the championship and losers are our meat!_

 _so if you're not a Lion, then you're our anal bitch,_

 _go suck our cocks then choke on rocks and just stay off the pitch!_

After finishing, every one of them faced the newbies, hunkered down, and roared as loudly and viciously as they could.

At this point, not even Neku could focus enough to keep the ball going between Tidus, Ephemer, and Roxas. All four boys stared at the onslaught that was the male varsity principal team in stupor.

"Well," Ephemer said with a final, cool nod. "Sort of has a ring to it, doesn't it?"

Roxas stared at him like he had two heads.

Behind him, Tidus let out a squeaking, nervous laugh and sighed in terrified reverence, "I can't wait till initiation."

Say what now? _Initiation_? As in, tryouts were never the title match, but just round one?

Had Roxas entered the second circle of hell?

At the sight of the coach cars approaching, everyone dispersed and the power plays ended. Sora warmed up with Lea, Ienzo, and Gula while Riku, Seifer, Demyx, and Isa scrimmaged.

Despite the brunet's previous shenanigans, he focused like a whip. Contrary to Riku and company's fitful, grunting struggle for dominance masked as practice, the personal, unsupervised drill Sora engaged in with Lea, Ienzo, and Gula was silent, charged, and meditative. It entranced every newbie watching until Sora whipped up with a look to kill and bellowed, "eyes to yourselves!"

"Cool it, hot shot," Auron's voice sailed lazily behind. Sora jumped in surprise and gave a sheepish apology. Then, with a final, private glare that for some reason rested on Roxas, he turned and continued.

Opting to block out the brunet completely, Roxas drew his attention to Auron and the girls' coach, a woman with long, middle parted blonde hair clipped back with bobby pins and a ponytail. She wore a burgundy long sleeved polo with _Twilight Town Lionesses_ printed across the right breast pocket, grey ankle length leggings, red nikes, and severe, black rimmed rectangular glasses. As she called over the girls, Auron, dressed in the male version of her outfit, signaled for the boys.

They did the same warmup they had yesterday, along with similar drills. With allies at his side, even though he barely knew his fellow sophomores and Tidus, the single freshman, Roxas did much better, trusting the ball when it came to him, taking more chances, and paying closer attention to the people around him. With this new confidence he allowed himself to take it easy, slowing down so he could get every pass and receive perfect. When it got to scrimmaging and Auron boomed for him to get off his ass, he furrowed his brows in confusion, wondering what he was doing wrong.

"Quit fucking relaxing!" Sora snapped for the man.

Auron barked for him to exit the field.

Sora dropped his mouth in disbelief, crying out, "Seriously, coach?"

When Auron remained adamant, Sora scowled and wrenched past Roxas' side, spitting on the grass at his feet as he walked away.

Roxas gulped and took it up a notch, doing worse again. When Auron rumbled for him to focus, he gritted his teeth and stifled a whine. He could not possibly run like the devil, become one with the ball, take chances, rest in confidence, and pay attention to the rest of the team all at once. He gained several scowls and glances of irritation, making anger and shame course through him at once. With it, he upped the ante again, charging around like his life depended on it until the shrill whistle signaling the end of the two hour practice sounded.

As he collapsed to the ground and began stretching, he noticed that none of the newbies, not even Ephemer, stuck around. Instead, they went to talk to more established members, crowding around Riku, Sora, Isa, and Lea in wide eyed worship: laughing at every joke, nodding in feverish agreement, and balancing on leaning tiptoes: yearning for the right time to interject. The varsity stars noticed the attention and actively ignored it, sending private, mocking glances and snorts to each other whenever a shrill laugh or sigh of reverence piqued their viciousness.

In between whispering to Lea and miming jacking off at Riku, no doubt in reference to the masturbatory way the newbies clawed for his attention, Sora's eyes stumbled upon Roxas' disgusted, disappointed smolder. In the fleeting instance that followed, dozens of emotions too jumbled to decipher crowded along the brunet's tan freckled features. When he blinked the show ended, a brilliant recovery returning his body to its languid, panther like slump.

Roxas watched in confused awe. This whole world was so alien to him. He couldn't understand how he had ended up on one side of the field and everyone else on the other. Was it his fault? Should he have groveled at the upperclassmen's feet like everyone else? Tried to make small talk or flirt with the girls to gain some attention? Played better football, even though he thought he had been performing fine at the beginning of practice?

He swallowed hard and vowed to make Ventus help him. But when he really started thinking about it, he realized that he was doing all of this for nothing. Why was he busting his balls to get on a team filled with assholes? To make high school a little easier? How would football change the course of his life, anyway? His thoughts kept returning to his family, how proud they would be to see him carrying forth the Highwind name. But if he was a shitty teammate, was it worth carrying the torch? What if he just snuffed it out and ruined the Highwind reputation for good? Deciding that he didn't want to be a stupid 'Lion' anyway, he mumbled to himself that maybe being filmed naked wouldn't be so bad. After all, all he had to do was a handstand, something Leon had taught him for fun in their first few weeks together that summer. Then he would finally be free.

When footsteps came towards him and stopped at his side, he glowered up, freezing when he noticed it was Auron.

The man was unreadable. "You're not stretching with the others," he intoned.

Roxas turned, muttering that they didn't want him around. "I'm too talentless for them," he spat. "I'd just drag down their mood."

For a moment he became overcome with emotion. He stared at the grass ahead and wished he could burn it with his eyes, that and everything else, even his family, in some ways, and just drift off into nothingness, where there was no pain or loss or responsibility for anyone. "Ventus did want this more than me," he confided without thinking. "I wanted it because I care about him. But I don't want to ruin the Highwind name. We'd just become a family of losers."

Auron stood at his side without saying a word. Then, shrugging, he harrumphed and began walking off. "Well," he sighed, "if you decide to stop feeling sorry for yourself and join us, I was going to make you our principal sub."

Roxas snapped up in disbelief, glancing back to Auron for confirmation. "I- I'm on?" he gasped.

"Only if you want to be, Roxas," Auron said. "Your jersey is over there. I guessed your size."

Roxas glanced towards the cardboard box one of the kids' moms had brought over filled with new jerseys, shorts, and socks. Then, he took another, pleading glance at Auron.

"Y-you think..." he started, biting his lip to stop from finishing his statement. He knew how the man felt about insecurity. All the same, he couldn't help but wonder... did this mean he really believed in him? To not only let him on the team... but make him _principal_ sub? Principal as in first on the field?

Auron did nothing but smile.

As the man walked away, Roxas' eyes brimmed with tears. Settled, he charged to the jersey boxes at top speed and asked in a shout for his.

The woman manning the counter snorted and demanded his name.

When Auron came up behind him and asked her to give him a small, she nodded and handed a set over.

Roxas stared at the gear in disbelief, the tears in his eyes spilling over onto his cheeks. When he looked up, he sniffled.

Auron grinned and mussed up Roxas' hair, telling him to have a shower and get ready for pictures.

Roxas' ecstasy faltered when he remembered his family therapy appointment.

When he told Auron he had to get a checkup at two, Auron said that they would get him out with plenty of time. "After pictures there's a pizza party in the gym," he muttered, gaze somewhere else. "Stay however long you want."

"Can I take some pizza home for my brother?" Roxas chirped.

Auron said that he could do whatever the hell he liked.

Giddy, Roxas charged for the school after the other boys and followed them through the backdoors to the locker room, waving to the assistant coach and punching his fist through the air in victory as he ran. By the time he burst through the locker room door, everyone was already in the showers, horse playing and laughing with each other. Smirking in self satisfaction, Roxas set his new jersey daintily on the bench closest. Then he turned to find a free stall.

When he peeked where he thought there might be a set of individual showers, his legs nearly gave way beneath him.

It was communal. Just like the shower in the porn video he had watched on Cloud's computer at the start of the summer. And in a twisted way, Roxas felt like the protagonist.

As soon as he peeked in, fully clothed, the entirety of the team and the huddle of newbies glanced towards him like he was filth. A pin could have dropped and been heard in the silence.

Roxas gulped and averted his gaze from the horde of naked, glimmering bodies, willing himself not to ejaculate on the spot. Then, not knowing quite what else to do, he rolled around on the balls of his feet and returned to the locker bench.

After unstringing his cleats and peeling off his socks he returned to the shower edge, sighing in relief when he realized there were two individual stalls tucked along the corner of each wall. When he slipped open the curtain on one of them, he gasped and reeled back in disgust.

Black and pink sludge crawled up the walls. When he turned on the tap, it made a weird, whining nose and brown water farted out. Revolted, he shut off the tap and tried the other individual. As he tiptoed, snickers and whispers erupted behind him.

"Afraid everyone's gonna see your hard on, fag?" called a deep voice. Probably Seifer. The entirety of the team burst into laughter, letting out little yips and "oohs" as Roxas peeled off his shirt and wiped down his face with it. Someone in the back started a whispered reprise of the modified fight song the older team members had chanted before practice.

"He's been working on his abs for us, guys," Sora laughed, gaining a cackle from Lea and a smirk from Riku.

When a voice sailed up that he was really fucking red, Roxas' Highwind blush crawled over his shoulders. His cheeks felt like they were cooking themselves.

Desperate for cold water, he slammed on the tap of the other individual shower. Nothing came out. Cursing and turning, he reeled when he was faced with a full frontal view of the entire team. Trying to keep his eyes up, he croaked that maybe he would just change into his new jersey now.

"Without showering?" Riku hissed. "That's fucking vile."

"Come on, loser," drawled Demyx. "Fag or not, no one wants to stand beside some kid who reeks of BO."

"Just get in the fucking shower," Sora insisted.

Behind him, Isa scowled, slammed off his own shower head, shook off his long blue hair, and went to Roxas' side.

When Roxas stumbled back in fear, the blunette hissed for him to get a move on. "I have somewhere to be after these pictures," he growled. "I'm not gonna have some prissy fag mess that up for me."

Roxas glanced from one team member to the next. Suddenly, the locker room door opened and the assistant coach peeked his head in.

"Hurry the hell up, boys," he barked. "I'm startin' to think this is the ladies' locker room with the amount of time it's takin' y'all to wash yourselves."

"Sorry, Big D," called Sora in a nasal, mocking voice, getting a laugh from the rest of the team.

The assistant coach grunted and receded from the door. Just when he was about to leave, he glanced to Roxas and asked why he was just standing around sweating.

The team burst into laughter.

Roxas blushed harder, feeling as though his own internal body heat would make him faint.

The assistant coach snorted, shook his head, and told everyone to get a move on. Then, he left.

Defeated, Roxas escaped to the bathroom cubby on the locker room's opposite end, shoving his new clothes under the sink and stripping down to his underwear when no one was watching. Then, he bent over, lowered his head under the tap, and let the cold water run, sighing in relief as it cooled him down. After rubbing down his hair, he rinsed under his arms and flicked some water over his back, relaxing into the spray.

Under the glug of the water he thought he heard giggles and shushes. Then, something hard and leather whipped against his backside and sent him skyward, jamming the side of his face into the water faucet as he yelped and clutched himself. When he turned around, he was faced with Isa, partially clothed with belt in hand, and several other naked, dripping boys who cackled with laughter. Blushing, Roxas told them to go away. Then he realized that the clothing he had stored beneath the tap was gone.

Glancing from man to man in desperation and kicking himself for falling for their tricks, he begged them to give his stuff back. "You said you'd leave me alone if I got on the team," he intoned to Sora, who stood at the front of the row with his hands crossed in front of his bare, sopping chest.

Sora rose his eyebrows in remembrance. Then, laughing, he called for the rest of the team to leave Roxas be. When Roxas clutched him by the arm, he wrenched away and told him to keep his hands off, "fag!"

Humiliated and blind with rage, Roxas stomped his foot and demanded to know where his clothing was. "I know you all have it!" he boomed. "I made this team fair and square, now let me have my jersey!"

"Have a proper fucking shower and maybe we'll treat you as part of the team," Riku drawled.

Roxas blinked at him in hatred. Steeling himself, he stomped in just his boxers to the communal shower heads, glanced up at them, and gulped. Then, shaking, he shoved down his drawers and tried canceling out the deafening "oohs" and "ahs" overtaking him. Like lightning he used a bar of soap already there to wash under his arms. When he tried getting out, someone told him to take care of his crotch sweat. Groaning and turning away from them, he bent a little at the knees and washed between his legs.

"Scrub harder!" Isa purred, making the rest of the team rumble in agreement.

Roxas bit his lip, shut his eyes tight, and rubbed between his legs as hard as he could, trying his best to cancel out the deafening screeches clawing at his back.

"Yo, it looks like he's masturbating!"

"He's thinking about Lea."

"Hey, we just told you to be thorough, not beat one out in public, Minerva!"

Rinsing off and covering himself like a fig leaf, Roxas tiptoed out of the spray and demanded in the bravest warble he could muster to have his clothes back.

"You can't get dressed if you don't have a towel," Lea said innocently.

Roxas stabbed him with a look of betrayal.

Lea snorted at the expression. Then he picked his towel up and held it out.

When Roxas reached out one hand to snatch at it, Lea raised it above him so that Roxas tripped and fell against him, clasping his hands around the older boy's waist.

A sound like rolling thunder encased the locker room as the rest of the boys nearly shit themselves with glee. When Roxas realized he was hugging another male naked, he lurched back and clamped his hands over himself.

Lea held his towel over his head and feigned fainting to the side, landing on the locker room bench and moaning that he had been assaulted again. "Will it ever end?" he warbled.

Someone boomed for Roxas to put his hands down.

When two strangers, probably Seifer and another one of the team tanks, stepped behind him and shoved his hands to his sides, he gasped in horror as the rest of the team examined him full on. Shutting his eyes and whimpering back tears, he attempted with all his might to ignore as Demyx gasped that he was packing a surprising amount.

When everyone saw that he had not gotten hard from his senior hug, they sighed in disappointment. Then, letting Roxas go, they decided to hand him a towel. Before Roxas could take it, Demyx piped up that they should make all the newbies towel together.

The sportsmanly smile that had glazed Ephemer's features as he watched Roxas get hazed slopped off when he was pushed forward. As he, Tidus, and Neku inched closer and closer together, hands up in surrender, being watched closely for any inkling of arousal, Roxas snatched Lea's towel and wiped himself down with it. A round of "oohs" sailed up until he threw it back. Lea caught it in shock.

As the redhead stared at its folds in stupor, Roxas swiveled around and demanded to be given his clothes. "I've played your stupid games," he spat in uncharacteristic vitriol, feeling the blood pump from the soles of his feet to his tightly clenched fists, "Now give me my stuff!"

"These games are for team building, nitwit," Riku snarled from his side. "They're only stupid because they involve you."

"If you didn't take this stuff so seriously, you might gain a few friends on the team," Sora sighed. "But I guess fags have different standards when it comes to nudity."

"For all of you calling me fags, you seem to be getting more enjoyment from me being naked than I am," Roxas snarled.

For a moment the rest of the team stared at him. Then, scowling, Sora reached into his locker and chucked Roxas' clothing his way. As the rest of the team dressed and left in silence, he muttered that Roxas could make friends just as easily as he could make enemies. "It would be different if you were actually talented," he drawled. "But you're not. So you might want to rethink your position on this team and what you're willing to do for it. _Don't be so self-righteous._ " he added in a whisper, close to Roxas' ear.

Roxas winced and swerved away, cheeks pinking as he watched Sora pull his new jersey over his head and slam out of the locker room door, leaving Roxas alone.

Fumbling to get ready, he charged out last, sliding towards the team just as the photographer set up the camera. The starters stood at the back while the subs kneeled in the front. As Roxas knelt forward and brandished his jersey with pride, he felt a shin shove between his legs, right inside the crease of his ass through his shorts. As the shin rolled slowly back and forth and the rest of the team held muffled laughter, Roxas beamed forward with all his might. He could not help but compare himself to the Ventus he had seen in the professional pictures back home, grimacing through gritted teeth, an air of desperation evident in his eyes. The desperation to be cared for, respected, and loved.

•∞•

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 **A/N:**

 **Hope this chapter didn't devastate you all too bad. There's a shit ton of drama to come.**

 **Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW! **


	20. Reinforcements

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I know, I know, I'm a sadist to poor Roxas. And btw, just in case anyone gets confused: Mrs. Tui the therapist and Mrs. Tui the english teacher are two different people. Tala Tui is the grandma from Disney's Moana and Ven's therapist. Sina Tui is the mother from Moana, daughter in law of Tala Tui, and Roxas' english teacher.**

 **Side note, A lot of this story is about uncovering the 'full picture'. I'm excited to continue unearthing layers, even if it takes a long time! Please enjoy!**

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•∞•

 ** _Twenty: Reinforcements_**

•∞•

"That sounds very distressing."

Roxas nodded, biting back tears in vain. It was only twenty minutes into his scheduled one hour therapy session with Mrs. Tui and he'd already spilled his whole life story from the vicious hazing he had underwent not an hour ago all the way back to the first day of kindergarten, just shy of his parents' funeral. He described memories he had never told anyone else. Again, though, out of some twisted sense of fear or loyalty, he had left out what Sora did on the beach, still failing to classify whether he had liked or hated it. When Mrs. Tui asked if he was thinking of reporting the bullying, he faltered.

"I feel like..." he swallowed, mentally improvising crimes big enough for the team to get disciplined. When nothing short of murder came to mind, he finished through a defeated sigh, "I feel like reporting it would just make it worse." Mrs. Tui's silence served as encouragement for him to continue, "Kids would kill to be a Lion. I have no legs to stand on. At best I feel like they'd just suggest that I leave the team and replace me, and that would just... that would not be good."

"Why?" Mrs. Tui whispered.

Moving past the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, Roxas thought it through. "Ventus," he said first. "I want him to be proud of me." Then, abandoning that train of thought due to the lump it brought to his throat: "the bullying would probably get worse, they'd just find a way to do it between classes."

"But they'd have so much less access to you," offered Mrs. Tui. "If you stay on the team, you'll be around them almost every day, sometimes for days at a time if they play away games. You'll shower with them, stay in hotels with them, travel with them... and didn't Ventus say he'd be proud of you no matter what happened? I never espouse dishonesty, but if I may be so bold as to play the devil's advocate... you could always just tell him you didn't make it. He'd be disappointed, but you could always find other hobbies: drawing, painting, dancing, even playing football together, just the two of you."

Roxas winced in acquiescence, pressing his palms together nervously as he continued thinking. With all the superficial excuses out of the way, deeper, more uncomfortable reasons for staying on the team began cropping up.

Resentment. Resiliency. Not wanting to be a loser anymore: a peacekeeper and sidestepper, like Auron had called him at tryouts. The satisfied look on Auron's face when he told Roxas he'd made principal sub. The pride that blossomed in Roxas' chest when he collected his jersey. The way his family would treat him when they saw he had made it onto not only the best high school soccer team in the region, but perhaps the best in the country.

Sora. Being close enough to embrace the brunet for hours at a time: watching him scrimmage shirtless, wash himself in the communal shower, laugh and joke with friends, pass notes in social studies (another class Roxas had had to switch into when his schedule changed). It filled Roxas with shame to think that even after everything, he still blushed whenever the brunet looked his way, sighed when he smiled, and thought about his electric blue eyes and cat like prowl when he masturbated at night.

He didn't need to say a word for Mrs. Tui to understand. She pursed her lips and closed her eyes, her eternally jittering scalp rolling around like a little Polynesian bobble head. When she leaned forward and gathered her ice pink, cotton cardigan around her customary maxi dress, she sighed and rubbed her chin, murmuring that this was a sticky situation. "Are they aware of your sexuality?" she asked.

Roxas shrugged, muttering that they would call anyone a fag if they found a reason, but that he had not yet given them a reason not to.

"Why do you think that is?" Mrs. Tui inquired.

"Why do they make fun of people for being fags?" Roxas clarified.

Mrs. Tui shrugged and said she was thinking more of why Roxas had not yet tried to dissuade them. "But we can discuss their homophobia if you like. Although I do have to interject, the irony of the fight song you so beautifully recreated a few moments ago was not lost on me."

"That's what I was thinking!" Roxas nearly screeched, heart soaring that Mrs. Tui felt the same. Giddy at her ensuing laughter, he added, "how can you sing about nailing people in the butt, display a random guy's dick to everyone in the locker room, and then turn around and call him a fag?" After he spoke, he clapped his hand over his mouth in embarrassment, apologizing to Mrs. Tui for his crudeness.

She flipped her hand down and let out a dismissive shush, warming Roxas up even more.

"It is fascinating how tightly linked homophobia and homosexuality are in the world of sports," she sighed. "Hazing takes on such a sexual nature. Everything is in close proximity. There is a line drawn in the sand that people constantly toe: yet if someone stumbles over, they must spring as far back as possible to redeem themselves."

"It's like they're always trying to prove themselves straight, or dominant, or something," Roxas murmured.

"That's machismo, for you," Mrs. Tui shrugged. "An unfortunate culture that married association football long before you were born. Sex and the athlete. Virility and power."

"Sounds kind of greek," Roxas offered with a blush.

Mrs. Tui clapped her hand on her desk and sent Roxas a playful look of reproach. "Now, if we get started on _that_ subject, we'll be here all day."

Roxas beamed again, every ounce of humiliation and regret fluttering away like loose feathers.

"But I am curious to know why you haven't rebutted their insults. No pun intended."

"Then they'd just make me prove myself, too," Roxas snorted. "I don't want anything to do with their line in the sand."

"Why?" Mrs. Tui whispered with a twinkle in her eye. "Wouldn't it make your life easier in the long run if you played along?"

Roxas stared at his hands in confusion, wondering why, too. If he thought about it, he had never really denied being gay to anyone. He'd just avoided the question altogether.

 _Denial didn't work for Ventus_ , his thoughts echoed, taking him back to the eternal darkness of the ocean, the blink of his failing flashlight, and the feeling of stillness as he searched helplessly stone after stone and weed after weed for the red drum, the shadow of the coastguard vessel looming overhead.

The memory made the temperature in the room plummet. Without realizing, Roxas shivered.

"Sora likes testing boundaries, doesn't he?" Mrs. Tui murmured.

Roxas remained silent, sinking in the horror of what it would feel like to mask his true self for the rest of his life. Never marrying, never having children, never falling in love. Never touching someone else. Never being walked down the aisle. Never watching someone else walk down the aisle. How would a gay wedding even happen? How did they decide who walked down the aisle? Who wore the dress? Where did it happen, if not in a church? Who would bother coming to wish him eternal joy? Was eternal joy even possible, for people like him?

"What are you thinking about, Roxas?" Mrs. Tui goaded.

Did Roxas have the strength to answer? When he felt his cheek, he touched tears. Letting out a sob, he whimpered that he couldn't lie like them. "I can take a lot," he sniffled. "My life has been one big slap after another. I'm used to things being hard."

"But you don't know how hard they could get."

"I don't care."

"Do you think Sora worries about how hard things could get? That he masks his habits or overcompensates in order to fit in?"

"I never thought about it," Roxas mumbled, staring at the salt water clinging to the end of his hands.

Mrs. Tui closed her eyes and hummed. Then she chuckled and took a breath, faltering but smiling over which words she wanted to say first. "You know, football is such a funny game," she settled on. "There are so many possibilities. Assumptions are often correct, but there will always be surprises. Rules are constantly bent, and the outcome of every penalty always seems unfair to someone. Sometimes, you have to play dirty to win. It reminds me of Ventus, really," she giggled in a light, throaty whisper. "If life were a football match, I wonder what plays got him where he is today. I wonder who his opposing team is."

"I wonder," Roxas breathed, half listening.

"I wonder the same for Sora," Mrs. Tui continued. "What makes him good at what he does? Who are the opponents in his life?"

"Me, by the looks of it," Roxas snorted.

"Are you sure about that?" offered Mrs. Tui.

"He's certainly not on my team," Roxas balked.

Mrs. Tui shrugged. "I don't know where you fit in each others' lives. But the nature of his interest makes me believe he sees you as something other than an opponent. He's sneaky, is he not? Watching at the right times, asking questions of the right people, responding to the right requests. He excels within the criteria of his world."

"Sure doesn't bother with criteria when he's alone with me," Roxas muttered through a snort.

"Perhaps he feels safe with you," Mrs. Tui murmured. "He knows you will not betray him."

Roxas jolted back, aghast.

Mrs. Tui seemed to stare right through him, the same mischievous, winking look Roxas had seen half a dozen times already taking over her crinkling eyes again.

Indignant, he announced that Sora had done something to him on the beach.

"Oh," Mrs. Tui pipped as if surprised, though Roxas had a feeling she knew something more had happened that day from the beginning of their conversation. "Was this before or after he saved you from drowning?"

"After," Roxas explained, feeling Sora's presence over his shoulder even though the boy was nowhere in sight. "He..." he faltered. Then, willing himself forward, he told her the entirety of what happened, of swimming side by side with the boy, landing on the beach, and through another crippling Highwind blush, how the boy had pulled his swim trunks down just over his ass and rested his penis against him.

Mrs. Tui listened in silence, eyes on a distance Roxas didn't bother trying to comprehend. He was too busy staring at his shoes in the deepest shame of his existence. As he clamped his arms over himself for self protection, Mrs. Tui furrowed her brows and harrumphed, seeming visibly disturbed. "Did you desire that contact, Roxas?" she whispered.

Roxas opened and closed his mouth. Then, swallowing hard, he said he didn't know. "I..." he started. "I've been trying to figure it out ever since it happened, but I still can't decide. One second he was kissing my b-back and then the next h-he was... I guess I don't like to think about it because it confuses me. I liked him touching me, and I would have continued if I felt safe-"

"Ah," Mrs. Tui whispered with another smile.

Somehow, it made Roxas feel stronger. "I could tell he was just trying every way he could think of to, well, get inside me, I guess," he steamrolled on. "But he did it in kind of a lazy way, like he knew that he was going to get what he wanted in the end. But when I felt his... thing against me, a big "no!" went off in my head and..."

"And you defended yourself," Mrs. Tui whispered. "That's powerful, Roxas."

"It... it is?" Roxas said, secretly chuffed.

Mrs. Tui nodded. "Despite being accused of being a 'peacekeeper' in your daily life you are very capable of protecting what you believe in, no matter the odds. Think about it, Roxas. This summer, you had the courage to save two lives."

"Two?" Roxas repeated in confusion.

Mrs. Tui nodded again. "You saved Ventus'. But you also saved your own."

"I did?" Roxas whispered.

Mrs. Tui laughed. "You have described for me several instances this summer in which something intrinsic to yourself was threatened, and then was protected by you in the face of impossible foes. You protected Cloud's reputation from Ventus, you protected Ventus from Cid, you protected yourself from Sora, you protected yourself from Vanitas... I see such strength in you, Roxas!"

"Really?" Roxas sniffed, unable to control the tears bursting over his cheeks. "But I feel s-so weak. I cry all the time! Ven-Ventus used to say all the time, and Cid, and-and..."

"You cannot know the inner life of those around you, Roxas," Mrs. Tui whispered. "You can only know your own. And what I see in there," she grinned, wiggling her finger towards Roxas' heart, "is someone who knows who he is and what he wants. He just doesn't trust his judgement."

"But what if I still like Sora," Roxas insisted.

Mrs. Tui shrugged that Roxas would have to decide how far in life he was willing to go to get the things he wanted. "Are you willing to give up your dignity, your identity, and even your safety to participate on the team, make your family proud, and gamble for the heart of a boy who doesn't have your best interests at heart? That is your choice. When you get home, I want you to make a list of everything you want in the next five weeks. I want you to be honest about your feelings, even if they seem illogical or dangerous or embarrassing. And then, once you're done with that list, I want you to write how far you are willing to go to get them. First, write a list of things you consider important to you, things that others could take away if you let them. And then I want you to honestly, without saying _I would never do that, no, no, no!_ examine what you would actually give up. If you could wake up one morning, surrounded by trophies, awards, and pictures of loving friends and family, and see Sora laying beside you, begging to have fun with you and love you, what would you sacrifice to get it?"

"Probably kill someone," Roxas balked, Highwind blush painting his entire body crimson.

Before he could say anything else, Mrs. Tui held up her hand. "You don't need to tell me. Don't fret over it, don't apply any of it- just examine it. Then once you've written it all down, see if your desires at up. Can you have it all? If you can't, what dreams would you sacrifice first? Anything you're stuck over we can examine together-"

"Wait, Mrs. Tui," Roxas gasped through furrowed brows. "I have to see you again? Is there something wrong with me?"

Mrs. Tui blinked in surprise, murmuring that there was nothing wrong with Roxas at all. "I just thought you might like help working through these things!" she chirped. "Sometimes the best tool is an outside eye. We will continue to move forward at your pace, of course. I'm not here to tell you what to do, but to help you grow into a person with adequate tools, who navigates his world with kindness and respect towards himself and others. Which brings me to your brother," she intoned, her tone changing to one very serious.

"Ventus?" Roxas whispered.

A stray, fleeting thought made Mrs. Tui's eyes flash. "It is interesting," she whispered. "Though you did start off with a short autobiography, the majority of our time together found you telling me much about your present life and fears for the future. It was the opposite for Ventus."

"Ventus lives in the past," Roxas muttered. "Sometimes I get tired of hearing how much he hates Cloud."

"I hear he told you a few days ago that he once hated you, too."

"Yeah."

"But that changed."

"Yeah."

"How did it change, Roxas?"

"It," Roxas started, wetting his lips as he rolled his eyes and muttered, "It changed when we got to know each other."

"It changed when you allowed yourself to depend on him," Mrs. Tui whispered. "You gave him a tether to the present: a responsibility, a goal to accomplish, a test, and he succeeded, did he not?"

"Yeah."

"And Cloud, when you opened up to him, was he there for you?"

"Only when it suited him," Roxas whispered.

"That is the way of life," Mrs. Tui sighed with a beaming, playful shrug. "We test people by putting our trust in them. Sometimes they pass, and sometimes they don't. We only get better at deciding who to trust with practice. As you have begun to test Ventus, Ventus has begun to test you, isn't that right?"

"Yeah," Roxas whispered. "But I just wonder how far it can go. Sometimes I'm so afraid of failing him that I just want to run away. I can't take it all."

"Do you know of anyone else in your life who feels a similar way towards the weight of responsibility?" Mrs. Tui whispered.

Roxas scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah!" he snapped. "Cid, I guess. My dad, too. Every time someone needed something they'd run off to their cars or motorcycles or whatever. Cloud tries to be nice, but it only lasts a certain amount of time, and then he runs, too. And Ventus... I just get really scared for him," Roxas gulped all of a sudden, unable to stop the words spewing from his lips. "He's, like... people do one kind thing for him and all of a sudden he's their number one fan."

"Are you sure about that?" Mrs. Tui asked.

Roxas furrowed his brows. When he thought about it, he realized that it wasn't true at all.

"Well..." he corrected, "I guess it'd be better to say that he attaches to people who give him attention. But he'll only latch onto one person at a time, and right now that person is becoming me. And I'm afraid that when I let him down, he's going to hurt me or hurt himself again."

"So you are certain you're going to let him down?" Mrs. Tui whispered.

Roxas shrugged and murmured that Ventus said disappointment was inevitable.

Mrs. Tui pursed her lips and tapped her chin as she pondered. Then she chirped, "I've got another homework assignment for you," with a wink. "I want you to write down a list of all the ways Ventus will test you. Then I want you to write down how you could avoid failure. Finally, I want you to tally how many of those avoidances fit into the way you want to lead your life."

"Oh, shit," Roxas gulped, padding around for somewhere to write everything down. Instead, Mrs. Tui rummaged inside her desk and brought out a fresh notebook. After having Roxas write his name on the front, she made him flip to the first page and write down all his assignments.

"And I want those done by next Saturday," she sang, waggling her finger and making Roxas giggle again.

"And one more thing!" she added through a gasp, clapping her hand over her face and lamenting that she was really loading Roxas down for his first week of school. Then she asked if Roxas believed Cid was homophobic.

"Yes," Roxas said without thinking.

"Have you ever felt threatened by that homophobia?"

"Yes."

"Has Cid ever suspected you of being homosexual?"

"Yes."

"What did he do when he suspected it?"

"He took away my phone and computer and grounded me for a month," Roxas gulped. "He let up when I brought home a girl, though."

"Can you recall what Ventus experienced in relation to Cid's homophobia?"

Roxas shrugged, thinking it over. "He said he got beat on after he turned ten," he explained. "He said that that was the year he started liking guys. And he said Cid got really mad at him for catching some picture on his phone, but I don't know the specifics of what happened. It seems like Cid hit him a lot when he was young, but I don't get why dad didn't intervene, or mom, when they were around. I don't remember much, but the memories I have don't add up. I'm ten years younger than him, you know."

"I see," Mrs. Tui whispered, biting her thumbnail. "So you have no idea how Cid and he got along before becoming aware of his sexual identity?"

"I guess not," said Roxas.

Mrs. Tui harrumphed again. When she asked if Roxas thought Cid would accept him if he came out, Roxas winced. Then, cooling, he whispered that he would rather not think about it.

Mrs. Tui's eyes dulled. With what emotion, Roxas could not tell. Peeking at her clock, she gasped that the hour had flown and that it was time for her next visitor. "Tell your grandfather that I give half off for clients who go to my daughter in law's hula zumba class," she whispered. "It's at the Polynesian culture center right down the road. Membership is ninety dollars a year."

"Oh, gods," Roxas whispered to himself.

"Just think about it!" Mrs. Tui chirped. "It is a wonderful, vibrant center! You'll make lots of friends. Ventus will, too. And Roxas-" she called, making Roxas turn at the door with notebook in hand. "If you ever feel like someone is testing you, test them back, and I don't just mean self defense. If someone is goading you, it's because they want something from you. In a situation where you feel pushed in a certain direction, ask yourself this: _if I pass their test, will they pass mine?_ "

"What's my test?" asked Roxas in confusion.

"I do not know," Mrs. Tui shrugged. "It's a metaphor. If it doesn't work for you, scrap it and find a better one. It's your life, Roxas. Entertain the people who will give you what you want."

•∞•

Per Mrs. Tui's suggestion, Roxas entertained the idea of telling Ventus he didn't get on the team. Apparently the man had been crying in the bathroom as Cid then Roxas talked to Mrs. Tui individually, so he hadn't noticed Roxas' new jersey and Roxas told Cid not to tell him whenever he returned to the waiting room.

Now, Cid and Ventus sat outside the office door like statues while Roxas finished his session, less life in their eyes than was present in the wide array of succulents and other potted, vibrantly colored plants surrounding.

When Roxas poked his head from Mrs. Tui's office, Ventus jumped up, wringing his hands around the hoodie he had taken off because he was sweating so badly.

As Roxas glanced at him from under his eyelashes and then down at his feet with an averted sniffle, Ventus' shoulders sagged. Sighing, he murmured that Roxas didn't have to tell him the bad news for him to understand.

"What bad news?" Mrs. Tui chirped from her desk.

Roxas grinned over his shoulder. Then, he pushed the door open and walked out in his new jersey.

For a moment Ventus stared at him in confusion. Then, when realization hit him, he let out a screech that scared the pants off of everyone present. The next thing Roxas knew, he was being tackled in a sobbing hug.

Cid stood on as Ventus embraced Roxas in gobsmacked oblivion, mouth almost straddling the floor.

Mrs. Tui clapped and called for Ventus and Roxas to go outside if they wanted to celebrate. "I think a special treat is in order for these two," she sang, turning Ventus into a walking sunbeam, arms still wrapped around Roxas' waist as he nearly lifted the boy off the floor.

When Ventus whipped towards Cid like a puppy who'd just been given a box of treats, tongue jammed straight along his gaping bottom teeth, Cid grumbled with a grin that they could all go out to lunch.

Ventus scrambled forward with his arm over Roxas' shoulder, jabbering on as they left the building and wondering out loud why Mrs. Tui had given him a notebook.

"Ven, it's private!" Roxas cried, slipping the notebook under his jersey to keep Ventus from whipping it out of his hands.

Ventus cackled in glee, giving Roxas such a hard noogie the boy nearly got whiplash. As Roxas growled and beat against him, Ventus giggled and dragged him along the roadside, sucking in a deep breath and glancing out at the sea. "We should go to the beach," he insisted. "I use to love swimmin' an goin' to beach parties when I was in varsity."

Roxas and Cid shared a weary glance.

They all went to the familiar seaside restaurant, ate outside, and walked to the Pier with the concrete platform and drop. While Roxas waited along the edge, glancing out at the crashing surf past the ladder with dangling feet, and while Cid went off for his customary smoke, Ventus said that he was getting something. In spite of reservations, Roxas decided to trust him.

His older brother returned five minutes later, red faced, with something hidden behind his back.

Roxas gaped in incredulity, cackling and swaying back and forth in excitement. When Ventus brought out two bars of sea salt ice cream, he cheered and snatched one, tearing into it and chomping the top clean off. When he got brain freeze, he groaned and rubbed his head.

Ventus watched him in satisfaction, waiting till the brain freeze passed to tell him how to stop it. As they continued eating, they sat in silence, glancing over the waves.

Ventus let out a long, contented sigh. "Well," he announced. "So far I'm real fuckin' glad I didn't kill myself."

"You're welcome," Roxas said slyly, making Ventus punch him in the arm. Though it had been meant as playful, Ventus had a really strong right hook. Roxas winced and clutched his shoulder for the next five minutes. Then he asked how Ventus' appointment with Mrs. Tui had gone.

Immediately, the blond winced, muttering that that stuff was private.

"She gave me a lot of weird advice," Roxas goaded, mind rolling over the implications of Mrs. Tui's 'test' metaphor. Who was she suggesting he examine?

Though Ventus shrugged in silence, his shoulders relaxed and his frown disappeared. Then, he murmured, "I feel like she's the Polynesian Yoda."

Against his will, Roxas snorted ice cream up his nose.

It made Ventus' mouth twitch up in satisfaction. "Why, what exactly did she tell you?" he said in a careful, uncertain way.

"That I need to start testing people," Roxas responded ominously.

Ventus reeled back in surprise, harrumphing and narrowing his eyes.

"Sounds kind of untrustworthy," Roxas continued, staring out at the ocean in calmness. "Is she saying not to trust people?"

"Maybe she's just tryin' to give you an action word," responded Ventus. "Like, actually initiate events in your life instead of bein' a punchin' bag."

"That's bullshit!" Roxas balked. "She said I was strong and resilient!"

"Okay, so you're a strong an resilient punchin' bag," Ventus retorted, waving away his hand as he continued, "Semantics shemantics. Tui's whole mojo is gettin' you to think a new way. She only mentions stuff to put it in your head. Or to get information out of you," he cackled. "I swear, she's like one of those fuckin' clam eatin' fish. She's fuckin' Houdini. She can crack anythin' out of you without lifting a stammerin' fuckin' finger. She's a Parkinson ridden human truth serum."

"Ventus, Minerva," Roxas said with wrinkled nose, rolling his eyes in distaste as Ventus threw his head back and cackled. "You're so..."

"Callous?" Ventus drawled as he threw one foot over the rusting Pier ladder.

"I was gonna say offensive," Roxas retorted. "But, yeah... callous, I guess, in the way you say things."

"Huh," Ventus murmured. His expression fell to one of wistfulness. Averting his gaze, he sighed that Mrs. Tui had told him that.

"That you're callous?" Roxas whispered.

"No, she didn't go that far," Ventus responded. "She just kept usin' gushy words to describe things. Like she kept repeatin' the word 'tender.' I noticed that. Every once in a while she'd say it. _Tenderness_."

"So she told you to be more tender?" Roxas whispered.

Ventus' Highwind blush, once imprisoned by malnutrition, lack of activity, and substance abuse, bloomed across his cheeks like rosebuds. It made him beautiful.

"I- she didn't say those exact words, but... I think that was her point," he mumbled half to himself. Straightening up, he evaded, "that's what I'm sayin' about her, though. I notice things like that about people. I read between the things they say."

"She asked me if I thought Cid was homophobic," Roxas continued over him. "I wondered why she didn't just ask Cid herself."

"Maybe she didn't want him suspectin' anythin'," Ventus offered. "If Tui had've asked him about his opinion on fags, he would've asked why she asked him in the first place. He's not a complete shit for brains. Would've set him off like a fuckin' forest fire with all that we've dragged him through these past few fuckin' months. Probably woulda taken me out back the minute we got home and used his skeet shooter to put me out of my misery."

"Ventus!" Roxas cried in horror, making Ventus snort and shrug. "Tenderness!"

"Oh, fuck my ass," Ventus scoffed. "Shoulda never told you about that. You're a little shit stirrer, too. Mister fuckin' Sherlock Holmes."

"I thought you were the perceptive one," Roxas rebutted. "You said so yourself."

Self importance tinged Ventus' cheeks as he cocked his head to the side. "I am." He cooed. "I'm a fuckin' blood hound when I want to be. How you think I knew about you lookin' at porn an' textin' boys? I fuckin' paid attention. I had my fuckin' eye on you at all times, whether you knew it or not."

"I didn't," Roxas whispered, wincing at the memories.

"I can read people," Ventus murmured. "I read all the bad things about 'em. All their viciousness. I've got years of practice under my belt. Gotta stay behind the line to keep yourself safe."

A chord struck in Roxas. He thought about what Mrs. Tui had said about Sora's watchfulness. When he gazed on Ventus again, another hurtful memory descended.

 _No one would want to rape that little fucker, anyway!_

For all his perceptiveness, how had Ventus not realized sooner?

Shoving the thought from his mind, Roxas asked when Ventus was planning on asking someone out.

"Well, you said you wanted to be there, so it'll have to be durin' the weekend or somethin'," Ventus muttered, clearly dreading the idea. "Maybe I'll do it on Labor  
Day."

"We could go to the beach," Roxas suggested in hope. "We could go to Mrs. Tui's dance class and see if there's anyone there! It doesn't have to be a boy, remember?"

"You want to go to that?" Ventus said with curled lip.

Roxas shrugged that they got half off on counseling if they joined the Polynesian Culture Center. "She said we could go to the first class for free and then see how we like it. Membership would cost 180 between us. Mrs. Tui said it's 200 for a family membership, but I can't picture Cid going at all."

"I guess," Ventus muttered, wincing at the idea. "I never seen Cid give money for any kind of community center, especially not with me in mind. That man is tight as a fuckin' drum- leather drum, I mean," he corrected.

Roxas winced at the dark, looming image that came to his mind anyway, an inevitable one that would probably stay with him for the rest of his life. Silence reigned again.

"I guess I could try to ask," Ventus muttered. "I'll say it's for you. That may soften him up."

"It could be a present for getting on the team!" Roxas beamed. "Maybe I can ask Cloud..."

"You're gonna milk that motherfucker for all he's worth, aren't you?" Ventus beamed in pride, making Roxas wince.

The boy considered saying something to the effect of, "that's not my intention at all," but it kind of was. So instead, he pouted over the ocean, wishing he could get in and do laps.

"I might give the stitches a little longer," Ventus murmured, flexing and relaxing his hands. "Funny thing is, the sea scares me, now. I really went all out, didn't I?"

Roxas winced again, making Ventus trail off. When he asked Roxas if it bothered him when he talked about the suicide, Roxas corrected that it was an attempt, and that it made him extremely uncomfortable. Ventus shrugged and murmured that he guessed he just saw it for what it was. "I gotta come to terms with it, you know? I don't want to sweep it under the rug or get fearful about it like I already am," he explained. "And not all bad things came of it, right? I mean, I got to coach you an all. Get back on the field..."

Again, silence descended save for the crash of the sea and Ventus' occasional muttering.

"Tenderness," the man repeated under his breath, clenching and unclenching his fists as he stared into the surf.

Roxas nodded, clenching his fists, too. Then, without thought, he whirled around and slammed his arms around Ventus' waist, making the man roar in fright and then stumble into incoherence. As Roxas curled his legs around him, Ventus unfroze, peered around for watchers, and when he was sure they were alone, patted Roxas back, even chancing a rub down his spine that made Roxas feel wonderful.

"You're such a fuckin' fag," Ventus sighed under his breath.

"No more a fag than you," Roxas murmured in return, making Ventus chuckle.

They sat hugging one another for what felt like ages, getting over the awkwardness of touch, and then becoming afraid that when they let go, somehow they would never have the strength to touch each other again.

•∞•

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 **A/N:**

 **Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW! **


	21. De- Spell

**A/N: AAHHH! Someone figured out the chapter title secret! Two mystery goos and a serenity crystal for you (lol)! I name them after Yugioh cards because Roxas loves Yugioh (in this AU, anyway).**

 **Demongod, NO Sora and Vanitas do not look alike in this story. I never thought of them being related, and though nothing is impossible, I struggle to see how their relation would add to the story.**

 **Akiie and Sorceress, yes, cracking points are coming! Worry not!**

 **WARNING: Violence, Intense Language, Tragedy.**

 **Ps. *Ma is the name of Cid's wife/ Roxas' grandma. Ma is NOT Roxas' mother. Just in case that trips anyone up.**

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•∞•

 ** _Twenty One: De-Spell_**

•∞•

Next week wasn't easy.

The hazing continued ten times worse for Roxas than for the rest of the newbies, mainly because Roxas resisted so hard, and because no one wanted to stand up for him.

Ephemer, who Roxas had pegged as a potential friend on his first day of practice, turned cold. The only person willing to give Roxas the time of day seemed to be Sora, and it was usually to tease him in some sort of way, whether it was stretching lucratively close, letting slip innuendos, torturing him on the pitch, slapping, toeing, or poking him as he passed, or once, jumping on his shoulders and nearly taking him down when he was off in space. If not for his meeting with Mrs. Tui, Roxas would have believed it was all a game of let's-drive-the-gay-kid-insane, played for the entertainment of the rest of the team. But there was something in the way Sora handled the split second before each advance: his determined glower, his twitching, hesitant muscles, the quick way he sucked in each breath, and then the burst of energy that overtook him when he took his chance. The only thing Roxas could compare it to was a penalty shoot out, where every tiny mistake could mean losing the entire match. In this head match, Sora was striker and Roxas was goalie. The brunet wanted a sliver of something; to slip through some sort of crack in Roxas' resolve. All Roxas had to do was keep up the wall.

This was borderline impossible with the way Roxas fumbled during practice. Auron got on his case everyday. When the assistant coach told Roxas to figure out what he wanted from the 'Pride' (a pun on their team name that made Roxas cringe every time he heard it) and take a bite at it, (the Lion metaphors were really starting to get on his nerves) all Roxas could hear was Mrs. Tui's voice, whispering in his head for him to 'test everyone'.

He and Ventus went to hula zumba class on Monday and met Sina's daughter Moana, a beautiful, sun kissed girl with plump lips, dimples, cascading curls, and the same mischievous disposition as her grandmother Tala. It was such a welcoming environment that Ventus decided to continue with it on Wednesday. Well, that and the fact that Sina had extended their free class privileges all the way till the end of the week.

That Wednesday, a woman with a blue bob wandered in saying she was new to the area. Besides having an attractive refinement and sense of humor, she was a great dancer. During one of the room crossing exercises, she ended up on Roxas and Ventus' side and started talking to them. Ventus removed an eyelash from her face and she blushed. When she wasn't looking, he turned to Roxas and did a little thumbs up.

After class ended and Roxas was filling up his bottle at the water fountain, Ventus hid at his side and peeped around for her with glee, wondering out loud where she was from and why she was dancing at a hula zumba class in Twilight Town, aka the middle of nowhere.

"I mean, blue hair?" he whispered in reverence. "You just don't see many ladies around with blue hair. She must be real different."

"Is she going to be your friend date?" asked Roxas.

Ventus gaped, thinking about the idea seriously for the first time. Then the color left him. He shuffled from foot to foot, mumbling that he didn't know if she'd want to go on a date with him at all. "I'm kind of..." he started, wincing and glancing down at himself in dejection.

He was wearing his compression pads, a torn up _Jackass_ t shirt, a pair of tragically shiny, red, and baggy athletic shorts reminiscent of the mid 2000s, and a pair of runners that were brown with age and wear. "I just look like... a hick, I guess," he muttered, reaching behind his head and scratching his messy golden hair.

"Maybe you should get yourself cleaned up," Roxas chirped. "Get a haircut like I did. Wash yourself, I don't know. Get some new deodorant or cologne."

"I used to know how to do this shit," Ventus muttered. "You should've seen me when I was fifteen. I was going out with a different fuckin' girl a week."

"Yeah, but back then you were young, and fresh, and, and, I don't know!" Roxas blubbered.

Ventus scoffed, pushing his face into a grimace as he spat, "I'm twenty fuckin' five, not fifty!"

"Hey, guys, mind if I get some water?" called a female, breathy voice behind them.

When Roxas turned, he was faced with a pink, sweaty face haloed by blue hair.

Ventus jumped out of his skin and hit his hip on the side of the water fountain, wincing and blubbering as he moved aside.

The blue haired woman thanked him with a smile, chuckled, and bent down to fill her bottle. Ventus stared as she did, glowering at her as if she were an alien he had no idea how to handle. Roxas had to hold back a snort as he watched him.

When the blunette rose her glance to meet Ventus', she straightened in surprise.

His ogling was taking an aggressive bent, so Roxas reigned it in by poking him in the side and snapping him to the present.

The blunette chortled and held out her hand for him to shake.

Ventus took it with a narrow, suspicious gaze and slow movements.

"Aqua," she murmured with a nod.

"What?" Ventus snapped.

The blue haired woman lurched back and furrowed her brows.

"Her name's Aqua, Ven," Roxas whispered.

Ventus stuttered that he realized that. Then, blushing, he nodded hello. When Aqua asked his name, he stammered that it was Ventus.

"Ooh," Aqua chirped. "How Roman of us!"

Ventus put on the same plastic, desperate grin he had sported numerous times in his childhood photos and waited.

In romantic comedies and scenes of cute kids falling madly in love with someone way out of their league, the fumbling would have been adorable. But on Ventus, who towered, glowered, and sweated like a motherfucker on a daily basis: tall, greasy, muscular, aggressive, and sheathed in black or stinking of oil and smoke from Cid's shop, it took on a hulking tone. The only things saving him were his piercing blue eyes and Highwind blush, which Roxas had a feeling Aqua liked the look of by the way she kept staring from one to the other. She happened to be pretty tall, too, hovering only an inch or two below him. She seemed muscular as well, and confident by the way she held herself. Her legs looked really strong. Roxas wondered if she did some sort of martial art or kickboxing.

"I'm pretty into keeping in shape," she blushed. "I was in Judo when I was in college."

"Really?" Ventus squeaked, beaming for real.

Aqua nodded and said she was regional champion.

"Wow," Roxas whispered.

Aqua blushed and shrugged that it wasn't anything crazy. "I come from the Land of Departure. There's not much judo out there, they're mostly into BJJ."

"BJ what?" snapped Ventus in alarm.

Aqua's smile faded as she murmured, "Brazilian Jujitsu."

"Oh, shit," Ventus blurted out, rolling his eyes and quipping through a stutter that he hadn't heard her properly. "I'm not really into BJJ anyway because Sambo's totally more effective," he added with desperate, feigned self importance.

Roxas cringed at the tone, but Aqua's expression stayed sunny.

"It would have to be effective since the SEPC came up with it," she smirked. "SOLDIER isn't called the most dangerous military task force in the world for nothing."

"You seen any of the videos?" Ventus balked in excitement, miming beating someone's face in as he shook his head in disbelief. "Just whaling on each other, man. You can see the roids frothin' from their lips like fuckin' rabies."

Roxas resisted smacking his palm to his forehead. Was this supposed to be Ven's version of flirting?

"Tell me about it," Aqua sighed without missing a beat. "We played Midgar's team every once in a while. Some really crazy shit would go down on those days."

"No way," Ventus gasped.

Aqua reeled back, snorted, and gaped. "Oh, you have no idea. I swear, there was a urine test at the stroke of every hour. Blood transfusions here, people wolfing down diuretics there, fake pee, police chase downs... insanity. But you know what?" she added with a smug wink. "Even against roided up SOLDIER wannabes... I still won."

Ventus let out a spontaneous, reverential giggle, purring through a badly concealed blush, "you must be like, a greek goddess, or somethin'!"

"Well, you look pretty sporty, yourself," Aqua retorted, flushing pinker as she glanced Ventus up and down. "So you said you're into Sambo?"

"Well," Ventus swallowed, face twitching as his mind struggled to catch up with his previous lie. "I-I'd say- I'm not, like, an expert, or anythin', you know, not that I..." the explanation devolved into gibberish until he held up his fist and croaked that he had a strong right hook, though. When Aqua didn't laugh, he caved, muttering that his favorite sport was football. "I, uh, I was striker for Twilight Town High," he murmured under his breath, shrugging and averting his gaze. "We went nationwide. I was scouted."

"Oh, wow!" Aqua gasped. "So you got into the big leagues! What college did you play for?"

"I never went to college," Ventus said, strangely cold all of a sudden.

Aqua's smile wiped off. When Ventus started glancing anywhere but her, seeming royally disinterested, she blubbered that she hoped she saw both of them around.

Roxas chirped that it was great meeting her.

She grinned and waved goodbye, staring at Ventus for a moment before giving up, widening her eyes in a "holy shit, what just happened" type of expression, and lumbering away.

As Roxas watched her go, he kicked Ventus in the shoe. When Ventus growled for him to stop being irritating, Roxas asked what the hell he was playing at.

"What the fuck are you talkin' about," Ventus muttered, same coolness he had bestowed on Aqua gliding off on Roxas.

"Was that your idea of a _tender_ goodbye?" Roxas whispered with a grin, imitating Mrs. Tui's bobbling head. Ventus' responding expression wiped the smile right off his face.

"Miss me with that bullshit," the man snarled. "I don't sit through therapy once a week to get psychoanalyzed by someone like you on a daily basis."

It was as if the last month of progress had been wiped away completely, Ventus reverting back to his glowering, hateful self in the blink of an eye.

As Roxas stared after Aqua, the first nice person Ventus had met in most likely years, walking away into the sunset, he gulped, lowered his voice, and asked why Ventus was acting like an asshole all of a sudden.

"Just live your own fuckin' life every once in a while, okay?" Ventus snapped. "Follow Mrs. Tui's advice and go test someone the fuck else."

When Roxas tried getting hold of his hand, Ventus wrenched it away and hissed for him to quit acting like a child.

Roxas blinked in horror as the man stormed towards the culture center entrance, freezing for a moment as if everything would go back to normal if he held his breath. Then, defeated, he slumped over and followed the man to the car, remaining silent with his face to the window as they traveled home.

As they drove, Ventus' shoulders unfurled. His expression cleared. His head bent in something akin to guilt. When he cracked a smile and asked if Roxas wanted to run by the pitch and practice some football, Roxas muttered no, refusing to meet his eye.

For a moment his older brother opened his mouth to say something. Then, he shut it and glowered on the road like his life depended on it.

That evening there was another thunderous argument with Cid, the first in what felt like years. When Ventus tried sleeping in his own room, Cid boomed that since he was back to his old behavior, he was either stuck on the couch or with Roxas, and since he didn't have a car, he wasn't going fucking anywhere.

"Fuck you!" Ventus roared, screaming as he jigged the bedroom lock, succeeding only in wrenching it off its frame and falling back against the floor. The stress on his hand pulled the tendon enough to where he had to soak it in ice for an hour, the appendage trembling of its own accord as he sat on the toilet seat, a bucket in front of him, staring into the wall without seeing.

The next day at school, Roxas felt exhausted. The taunts from the football team felt particularly hurtful, especially when he found a portion of his clothing stuffed down a toilet bowl after showering. Luckily, no one had pissed on them. But it did mean wearing his jersey, football shorts, and no underwear for the rest of the day, which was incredibly uncomfortable and meant he spent his lunch hour begging one of the janitors to put his stuff in the laundry. As he sat near the massive, industrial washers and driers crying his eyes out, he filled in his journal for Mrs. Tui. It was just two days until the long weekend Ventus had promised to take Roxas to the beach, but Roxas didn't see that happening now. As he thought of how Auron had called him a 'peacekeeper' and 'sidestepper', he gritted his teeth and sobbed harder.

In short, nothing was turning out the way it had been advertised when Roxas thought getting on the varsity team would solve his life and stop the team from bullying him.

To make matters worse, the fact that he'd had to switch most of his classes after signing up for varsity football every morning meant sacrificing his old english class with Naminé and Pence for one dominated solely by varsity athletes of all shapes and sizes, including nearly all of the sophomores on the football teams: Kairi, Xion, two newbies named Jasmine and Skuld, Gula, and Neku and Joshua. Of the last pair, only Neku had made the team.

Joshua glowered at Roxas from the back of the class every B day as if Roxas had taken the spot that was rightfully his. Neku probably told him on a daily basis how pitiful Roxas was and how stupid Auron had been for letting him on.

What surprised Roxas the most was Joshua's point of view, which the boy graciously and inadvertently bestowed on him when Roxas overheard their gossip that Thursday.

"He's a Highwind," Joshua snarled loud enough for Roxas to hear. "I think Auron has this dream that he's going to be his national champion and get him a fucking promotion like the brother did that old coach."

"If only he'd pay attention to the team he already fucking has," hissed Neku in return. "Sora is the star, not Roxas. Roxas is fucking useless, you should see him during practice, he can't even dribble the fucking ball properly and he never pays any fucking attention. He won't even shower with the other guys."

"Is he gay?" Joshua asked, peering at Roxas in suspicion.

"Everyone thinks so," Neku muttered. "He hid in the clocktower during the summer and watched Lea hump Larxene, he won't shower with anyone else, and he's totally antagonistic about the hazing."

"I thought they were all too homophobic to let gays on the team," Joshua insisted. "I thought that's why they didn't let me on- that they think I am, you know- but it's just a rumor, of course."

"Roxas doesn't even fucking hide it, though," Neku hissed. "I don't think he's anything, to be honest. I think he's asexual and he just does all this stuff for attention. He's got that star brother of his running around after him like a spinning top. He probably ruined that guy's life, too, and for what? He plays ball like he's trying out for the Special Olympics."

Roxas stopped listening and scribbled furiously in Mrs. Tui's notebook, using it as his last defense against standing up and punching Neku in the face. Now he'd graduated from fagdom to "asexual," which was apparently worse. Did you have to be involved with someone at this school to be seen as a viable member of society?

When Neku and Joshua realized that Roxas had zoned out, they switched conversation points, Joshua explaining in hushed tones the gayest songs in history. A few piqued Roxas' interest, but in all he sat in a daze until French with Hayner, where he watched glumly as the teacher introduced partner exercises. Hayner and Olette welcomed him into their group, but Roxas let them do the entire exercise alone.

After French, he waited outside for Ventus. When Cid puttered up instead, Roxas' shoulders sagged. The man looked livid, so Roxas decided it wasn't a good idea to ask what had happened. He sat in silence nearly the entire way home, wishing he was more articulate, or even more brave, like Mrs. Tui had implied him to be. As they passed through an intersection near the school, he spotted a sign signaling a yard sale. As an idea struck him, he yelped and asked Cid if he could go, making Cid grumble and demand to know if he had any money.

"Yeah, I still have twenty bucks from my birthday," Roxas insisted.

Cid sighed, pulled down the street, and snapped that he had five minutes.

Roxas scrambled out and picked around the CDs. All he ever heard Ventus listening to was heavy metal. Perhaps if he pushed his musical tastes a little wider, Ventus would open his mind in other ways as well.

When he saw a rather fruity looking number by a band named ABBA, he swept it up, along with a Mariah Carey album he remembered Joshua talking about in class. After paying for them, he scrambled back to the truck and hopped in, giddy with glee. When Cid asked what he bought, he mumbled, "CDs," deciding not to show Cid what they were lest they incriminate him any further. Instead, he waited till they reached the shop and charged inside, peeping around for Ventus.

When he bounded up the stairs, he noticed his bedroom door was left open and his room empty. When he looked inside, Ventus' clothes were gone. Furrowing his brows, he stared towards the room at the end of the hall, where metal music was blaring so loud the walls shook. His shoulders sagged as he looked at it.

So Cid had capitulated and given Ventus back his cave.

Summoning his strength, Roxas went up and knocked.

Ventus called that he wanted to be alone.

Roxas refused and knocked again, this time louder. When Ventus wrenched the door open ready to throw a fit, Roxas held out the CDs.

The moment Ventus caught sight of them, he scoffed. "What the hell are these, fag?" he muttered.

When Roxas responded, "yours," the glower wiped away and Ventus looked over them again.

"Really?" he muttered warily.

Roxas nodded and said he'd found them in a yard sale and thought Ventus might like them. "Do you... hate them?" he intoned, frowning up under his lashes.

Ventus shook his head and snatched them up. "I haven't listened to Mariah Carey since high school," he mumbled, turning her CD over in his hands. "Guess I'll have to give her another chance." Then he held up the ABBA CD. "You know mom probably has this already. She loved ABBA."

"Really?" Roxas breathed in shock. He'd never known that.

Ventus nodded with vigor, mumbling that she'd sing and play ABBA all the time. Then, glancing over his shoulder, he caved and turned his music off, shutting his door behind him and muttering that they could probably take a look if Cid let them.

Before the portal closed completely, Roxas caught sight of something thin and metal on the edge of Ventus' bedside table. He furrowed his brows as he looked at it. But Ventus shut the door too fast for Roxas to identify it completely.

Putting it out of mind, he followed Ventus downstairs to the living room, where the man hunted around the TV for an old cardboard box marked, "MUSIC" in block letters. When he found it, he grinned and wrenched it out, wincing as he transferred it from his arm to his knee. Limping along, he slung it from his leg to the couch. Then he plopped down, opened it up, and told Roxas to have a look.

Roxas peeked inside like a kid hunting through buried treasure. It was filled with old CDs, LPs, and cassettes caked in dust and cobwebs. He coughed as he pulled out one named _ABBA: Greatest Hits_ , asking Ventus if he wanted to put it on.

"Fuck, no," Ventus snapped immediately. "Too sad."

Roxas stared at Ventus as he rummaged further, realizing in that instant just how desperately the man still missed their mother.

As Roxas gazed down at the CD he had bought at the yard sale, Ventus squealed and brought out a collection of Cloud's old standards, holding them up and winking in satisfaction. Roxas snatched them with glee, flicking through Britney Spears, Flo Rida, Timbaland, Mariah Carey, Pink, and Jesse McCartney in awe. When he got to the last one, Ventus guffawed, tapped the cover, and sang the refrain of _'Leavin'_ '. To Roxas' surprise, he had a nice voice.

"People used to say I sounded just like him," Ventus sighed, "until my voice dropped like a motherfucker."

Roxas laughed, murmuring that his own voice still had a ways to go.

Ventus shrugged and said that the men in their family had always been late bloomers. "That's why Cloud sounded like such a bitch when he was fuckin' on with Leon about that emo fag Nero wantin' to join the football team, they sounded like a bunch of little girls! Well, not Leon, but Cloud could have passed for Princess fuckin' Peach. They'd be like," he cleared his throat and did an impersonation of a really deep voiced gentleman saying, "hey, what a fag, amiright, Cloud?" Then he beamed and called back in a high pitched, breathy whimper, "yeah, he's like the biggest fuckin' fag on the planet, Leo!"

Roxas burst into laughter in spite of himself, making Ventus warm in satisfaction, rattling off a few more impersonations until Roxas was crying with joy.

Ventus sighed, shrugging that he wondered what Cid sounded like as a kid.

Roxas whipped up and smirked, whispering that there was a picture of him from the seventies upstairs, going out to a dance with a girl. "He was wearing waist high bell bottoms and a short sleeved sweater, he looked like a mess," he whispered, making Ventus snort with laughter.

They rummaged through a few more CDs. Then, they took the pickings they liked and hiked them upstairs, peeping around to see if Cid was lurking. When they confirmed he was downstairs in the shop, Roxas snuck into Cid's bedroom and pulled out the old photo albums from under his bed.

Once Ventus caught sight of Cid's picture from when he was thirteen, he cheered and clapped his hands, committing it to memory as he gazed over it in awe. When they moved onto the picture of Ventus' baby shower, where their mother and her family sat in a coiffed, preened circle with lots of dainty cakes, gauze, and gift wrapping, he pursed his lips and shook his head.

"The Altney-Strifes," he muttered, hissing over the consonants in a whisper. "Always loved Cloud, always hated me."

Roxas stared at the picture blankly, taking in his mother's sallow, hollow expression as if it were his own. He and Ventus had always taken after her, while Cloud took after Cid and their father. When he asked why they hated Ventus, Ventus shrugged and said he was too raw.

"Uncivilized, I guess- but not in the callous asshole way I am now. Just... I was odd," he muttered, slumping in on himself like a broken puppet. "Never excelled at makin' friends. I know everyone says that havin' baby memories are just you projectin' on yourself what someone else told you, but I _remember_ the pain of bein' around her family. It was like a recoil: I'd reach out and they'd lurch away in disgust. An when mom was around them, she changed. She'd be real affectionate at home: huggin' me, kissin' me, lettin' me rub on her cheek- I remember at home, I was fuckin' obsessed with cats for some fuckin' reason, right? But we were never allowed have pets, so she'd let me be her cat an I'd rub up on her an lick her, an then I'd lick my paws an if I was good, like if I behaved when she was washin' me or if I ate all my vegetables she'd give me a belly rub an I'd meow."

Roxas smiled at the thought of baby Ventus rolling around the ground like a kitten, making Ventus sigh in nostalgia, too.

The man's brows furrowed. "She'd get real nervous an awkward around her family," he whispered. Anger rippled across his features. "One time, I was in her sister's livin' room playin' with Cloud an one of our fucktard cousins, an I was bein' a cat an Cloud an whatever fucktard's name was were makin' fun of me- back then I thought they were laughin' _with_ me, but now I see... anyway, I went over to be petted, an the cousin said, 'if you were a real cat, you wouldn't have any clothes on,' an he kept goin' on an on, an Cloud was encouragin' it, too, so like the fuckin' dumbass piece of shit I am, I took off my fuckin' clothes," he snarled, savaging his fingers through his hair as if it would pull off his scalp. "An then I went over an licked the cousin's cheek cause I'm a fuckin' cat, right? An he starts _screamin'_ like a banshee, _laughin',_ tellin' the whole fuckin' world that I tried to _kiss_ him. An all the while, Cloud's right there with a face like motherfuckin' Ronald McDonald. An who should walk in on me, on all fours, buck fuckin' naked with my tongue out, but motherfuckin' aunt Aria an mom," he snorted with wide, listless eyes, jabbering more to the wall than anything else.

"Word spread like fuckin' wildfire. If the Altney-Strifes hated me before, they fuckin' _despised_ me after that. I had to be monitored whenever I played. I got so sad sometimes that I'd just sit for hours in grandma's upstairs bedroom, fetal in the middle of the fuckin' floor, wonderin' what was wrong with me. That bullshit reached its peak next summer. They practically hosted a bathroom exorcism on me without mom knowin'- I can't remember what I'd done, but mom was nappin' an only figured out where I was when she heard me cryin' down the hall in her sleep. Had to break down the fuckin' door, almost."

"But it wasn't all bad," he added as an afterthought, mouth twitching into a smile as he remembered. "Got my first football that year. Best fuckin' birthday ever. After that, whenever the Strifes'd start pickin' on me, dad'd take me to the local pitch an we'd play from sunup to sundown."

Roxas stared at Ventus in surprise; awed, amused, and slightly horrified at the same time. He picked up the picture of the Altney-Strifes himself, examining each foreign face with narrowed eyes, trying to remember them but failing to. By the time he was born, they didn't visit often. It must have been soon after that that his grandmother died. After her passing there was no reason to act like a family anymore.

"Did Cloud never..." he gulped, considering his words carefully lest Ventus blow up again. When he landed on, "stand up for you?" Ventus burst out laughing.

"Unfortunately Cloud's leadership qualities only revealed themselves after his friend fuckin' killed himself," Ventus muttered. "Even then, I'm sure he had someone eggin' him along, givin' him ideas. He's always been a follower. An anyway, after the bathroom exorcism an all that shit, the case was closed. Mom went to a therapist, dad handed Cloud to the Altneys, an he bummed me off on Cid cause he didn't fuckin' know what to do with me. Probably figured bein' around a strong male influence might transform me into a normal human bein'."

"Wait," Roxas stuttered. "Mom and dad took Cloud to the Altneys and left you with Cid?"

Ventus nodded so fast his head blurred. "Summers, mostly," he clarified. "Sometimes dad would stay. But that was rare, because whenever dad an I were doin' somethin' together, Cloud'd pitch a fit," he sighed, rolling his eyes. Even so, a twitching grin overtook him. "I remember some beautiful times in Radiant Garden Forest: skeet shootin', pig huntin', playin' ball in the fields an campin' and divin' near the river basin. Only reason Cloud got to know his Radiant Garden buddies was because he met em on a campin' trip that was supposed to be for me. But after grandma and ma died, things started fuckin' up between mom an dad an Cid was miserable, so the trips pretty much snuffed out."

"Was that before Cid moved to Twilight Town?" Roxas asked.

Ventus nodded. As he stared down at the picture of Cid as a child, clad in bellbottoms and his tragic sweater, he snorted in sadness. Then, his gaze fell on the photo tucked beneath, the one of him treating the neighbor's cat like a pillow. When he saw it, his eyes lit up with glee, making him giggle and clap his hands.

"The motherfuckin' cat!" he sang at the top of his lungs, whooping and falling against the leg of Cid's bed in manic joy.

Roxas tried laughing along, but there was something so unnerving and anxious about Ventus' eruption. When Ventus held up the picture with shining eyes, Roxas gave an encouraging grin.

Ventus cooed and held the picture again, another chuckle overtaking him until he sighed himself to calmness. As he stared, something dark passed over his eyes, drooping his lids and tucking down the sides of his lips.

The silence made Roxas squirm, lean in, and chirp that he remembered that cat, "just a little. It was old by the time Cid bought the shop," he sighed. "Did it die?"

Ventus remained silent but shrugged.

Suddenly, as if for the first time, Roxas became aware of the fan whirring overhead, of Cid's singing down in the shop, and of the drip of the sink in the kitchen, every sound a needle tickling the back of his neck. "I never figured out what neighbor it belonged to," he swallowed, begging in his head for Ventus to come up with something else.

His older brother's eyes remained trained upon the figures in the photo: one a chubby, pink faced, dirty cheeked boy who squinted when he smiled, the other a plump, languid feline with black spots around its eyes that made it look like a bandit. When Ventus' thumb landed on himself, his brow twitched. "Belonged to the old lady who used to own the Item Shop," he explained, making Roxas scoot closer. "Cat died first, then the lady. After that the family took over. Wantz," he added as an afterthought, mentioning a boy Roxas saw manning the counter sometimes, as if only the name was needed to illuminate whatever he had meant to say before switching focus. "Always had muddy paws."

"Probably went everywhere," Roxas breathed, assuming Ventus meant the cat and not Wantz.

Ventus nodded in agreement, muttering that the creature was a nomad. "I followed it a lot," he added, voice a little cooler than before. "Up the Station Tower, down the valley. Through the woods."

"Nice," responded Roxas, hands clasped in such tight fists that they shook.

"They used to host after school camps at the old mansion," Ventus explained. "Kids with developmental issues. Divide you into four 'unions' and make you play games. Build 'friendships'. Load of bullshit, obviously," he chuckled, smile evaporating as fast as it surfaced. "We were like Robin Hood and Little John, runnin' away durin' games, stealin' cigarettes from the camp councilor's desk... well, the cat didn't steal the fuckin' cigarettes, but, y'know... we'd sneak through the hole in the wall and roam... play football in the streets... You know where the hole in the wall is, right?"

"Yeah," nodded Roxas, confused but unwilling to ask Ventus to repeat himself. There was some kind of short circuit derailing the journey from Ven's brain and his mouth: his thoughts were becoming haywire, jumbled, and nearly unintelligible. Still, Roxas listened.

"I tried to get kicked out," Ventus continued through a swallow. "Took passin' around cigarettes to the neighborhood kids to finally get through to Cid an mom an dad that I didn't want to be there. Got the worst hidin' of my life."

"You got beaten for passing around cigarettes?" blubbered Roxas.

Ventus averted his gaze and shrugged, murmuring that he had only been ten.

"That's awful," Roxas whispered, throat dry as his mouth twitched, his whole body yearning for nervous laughter, for some sort of release. The air in Cid's tiny bedroom felt caustic. It radiated and dripped with excess energy. Roxas could feel it from his toes up through his spine and out his head, making him jitter and fidget. "Did you tell mom and dad you didn't want to go?" he half pleaded.

Ventus grunted but nodded. "Never mattered what I wanted," he whispered. "Always what was most convenient for... everyone else. Especially Cloud. They didn't want me around him, especially after I started... just odd stuff, like proof I guess of what I couldn't really say out loud cause I didn't... understand, I guess. But that's always been me, right?" he gulped, savaging his fingers through his hair again. "I can figure out everyone but myself."

Settled, he leaned back against the bedpost and gnawed his inner cheek, narrowing his gaze in a fierce standoff with the opposing wall paper. Then, nodding, he shrugged and said that that was that. "Taught me to make a racket. Make myself strong. Look out for number one."

After that, the room fell silent. Roxas blinked at the pictures spread across the floor, dumbfounded and perplexed at once. None of what Ventus had said made sense, and yet somehow, Roxas' heart knew how to feel. A shiver overtook him and he clutched at himself, biting back tears, begging himself to say something to dispel the curse Ventus' disjointed memories had summoned.

The man watched Roxas out of the corner of his eye, irritation mounting behind his dilated pupils.

When he hissed for him to stop squirming, Roxas blurted out that Sora and the rest of the soccer team had started hazing him. That they made him feel isolated and helpless.

Ventus snorted and shook his head.

Roxas leaned closer and spoke louder. "They're testing my boundaries like Mrs. Tui said," he insisted, continuing in an almost pleading whisper, "I don't like that. But I feel like I'd be a pariah if I didn't do as they asked."

"You would be," Ventus shot back in a hurtfully cool, uncaring voice. "Bullyin' is a part of life. I wouldn't be half the man I am today if it weren't for all the torture I went through as a kid."

"But-" Roxas tried, but Ventus was taking the pontificating, sanctimonious tone that Roxas had grown to hate in him.

"I was hazed, too," he trilled. "I grinned and bore it. Then I hit fifteen goals in one game. Suddenly, I had friends everywhere. I fell in the gutter again. Climbed back out, tooth and nail. Now, no one can stop me."

"I'm not you, Ven," Roxas hissed. "I don't want to wade through shit over and over just to feel like a human being when I crawl out!"

His brother reeled back, revolted and mortally wounded at once. "Oh, so you're too good for a little bit of fuckin' around, now?" he snarled. "You think they're fuckin' hurtin your _feelin's_ or some bullshit? Minerva, fuck! No wonder they fuckin' hate you. An I was just startin' to respect fags, too-"

"So just because I like being treated with respect I'm a fag that's not worth your spit?" Roxas shot back. When Ventus clapped in his face, he shoved the man's hands away.

"That's right, Roxas!" sang Ventus. "You said it better than I ever could! Cause that's the difference between a nancy an a man: you wait for someone to ride your ass to safety, while I fight my own battles an deserve my victories!"

"How fucking sad it must be being you!" Roxas spat back, the energy balled up in his chest sailing out through his voice. "Hating yourself so much that you have to make fun of people whose only wish is common decency. When your own brother- the brother who saved you from killing yourself and tried talking to you and working with you whenever you lashed out and shut your fucking door in his face- comes to you with a fucking olive branch and cry for help-" He could barely hear himself over the sound of Ventus' cackling.

"Cry for help?" the man guffawed, slapping his hands against the floor and kicking his feet as if it were the funniest thing he'd ever heard. "You think whinin' about a little hazin' is a cry for help?"

"Things have happened to me!" Roxas croaked. "Things that for all your fucking 'perceptiveness' you would never understand!"

"An what would those be, Roxas?" Ventus sang in a mocking, baby voice. "Did someone huwt you? Did someone _abuse_ you?"

"Yeah!" Roxas roared, standing up and screaming down at Ventus' face. "As a matter of fucking fact, they did! Multiple people!"

When Ventus rose, he eclipsed the room. Roxas had forgotten how tall he was and the man's anger only made him seem taller. It had been weeks since the attempted suicide. Now, Roxas could see, the man's former, terrifying strength had returned. But somehow, he couldn't bring himself to be afraid. When Ventus advanced on him and demanded to know who, he shoved him back.

"Sora, Riku, Isa, Seifer-!"

"What'd they do?" Ventus snarled, shoving Roxas so hard the boy tripped and fell against the wall. "Poke your ass? Grab your junk? Laugh at the size of your dick? How fuckin' _tragic_!"

"You wouldn't understand!" Roxas screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks. "You've never been scared of other people! You probably liked getting hazed! You probably liked it because it gave you an excuse to let guys feel you up!"

"You think I liked it when they were watchin' like hawks to see if I was a fag?" Ventus spat. "You think I liked gettin' swirlies, an gettin' hard whenever someone grabbed my ass or toweled me or pinched my nipples?"

"I bet you did it right back when you got your chance!" Roxas snarled.

"You bet your ass I did!" Ventus boomed. "Because I learned somethin' when I was in football. A team is only as strong as its weakest link. All this hazin' an shit is them figuring out if you're worth their time. An you're not strong enough, you can pussy out an try to stumble through life on your own! See how far you fuckin' get!"

"Well at least I'm not twenty fucking five, carless, jobless, closeted, and leeching off my fucking grandpa!"

"Oh, no, wittwe goody two shoes Woxas wouwd nevew take advantage of anyone! Except for Cid, an Cloud, an-"

"At least I have some fucking self respect!"

"You can't respect yourself! Respect is earned, not claimed!"

"Well when did you earn yourself some respect, Ventus?" Roxas mocked through a sniffling coo. "Was it before or after you decided to get fucked on film?"

The slap that sailed across Roxas' cheek busted his lip and sent him tumbling to the ground. When he was lifted up by the scruff of his shirt and made look into Ventus' eyes, he saw they were streaming with tears.

"Don't you ever, ever disrespect me like that again!" Ventus screeched in a voice hardly his own. His rage made him inhuman: a scarlet, bug-eyed specter with popping veins, foam clouded lips, and cheeks glistening with sweat, like scales on a fish. "I've been disrespected an stepped on my entire fuckin' life, an I won't have some fag like you do it, too!" he wailed. "I'm worth more than that! Especially after everything I've done for you!"

"What the hell have you done for me?" Roxas sobbed. "Put me on a team full of assholes? Encourage me to get bullied? Made my life hell until just a few weeks ago?"

"I protected you!" Ventus boomed.

"From what?" spat Roxas.

"Vanitas!" continued Ventus. "At great personal sacrifice I made sure he wouldn't go near you!"

"Well, you failed at that, too!" Roxas screamed. "He got to me without any trouble at all!"

Ventus' face screwed up with a returning insult so fast he hardly heard what Roxas had just said. When it finally registered, his face froze with incredulity. Then, confusion. "Whe- he... He what?" he gulped.

Roxas' face smoothed over, too. Suddenly, he felt sick. Swallowing, he whispered, "well, he... that one day you found him in my room, he grabbed between my legs and... tried to kiss me." His words caught in his throat and he coughed. "And then, when you ran away and tried to, you know, I went to him to figure out where you were-"

"Oh, fuck," Ventus whimpered, collapsing on Cid's bed, pressing his hands over his face, and raising his chin towards the ceiling. He sat like a marble sculpture, a neo-Thinking Man, huddled against the wall so silent he hardly seemed to breathe.

Emboldened, Roxas continued, "I was using his computer and he started asking if I wanted to do coke, and I said no, and he started messing with my neck and stuff, and then he _did_ kiss me, and then he pinned me down and put himself between my legs..."

Roxas could feel Ventus cringing and hear the whimper being silenced in his throat. Still, he went on, "and then I kicked him in the balls."

"Motherfucker," Ventus said in a small, doleful voice. Then, he froze again. Snapped up with eyes open wide. Whipped an incredulous, astounded glare Roxas' way.

Roxas reeled back in shock, wondering if Ventus was going to hit or hug him.

Instead the man tore his hand through his golden hair and let out a relieved, broken sigh. "Wait a minute," he growled, shooting Roxas another furtive, this time hopeful gaze. "You... that's it?"

"That's... what?" Roxas balked.

"He kissed you, sat between your legs, an you kicked him in the balls?"

"Well, I bit his tongue, too-"

"Did you do anythin' else?" Ventus retorted, his voice a little too close to a chirp for Roxas' comfort.

"Uh... I ran because he was about to rape me," Roxas returned in a slow, drawn out voice.

A groan like rolling thunder fell from Ventus' mouth as solace washed over him like sunbeams. His face looked like a baby's: fresh, unperturbed. Roxas stared at him in a combination of disgust and horror.

"That motherfucker," Ventus snorted. A chuckle overtook him. Then a laugh. Then, he was full on busting his balls, crying with joy, clasping Roxas in his arms like Cid would an old drinking buddy. "Fuck me in the ass..." he sang-sighed, slapping Roxas' leg so hard it turned highlighter pink. "Damn. I mean damn."

"I just confide in you an attempted rape and you congratulate me for it?" Roxas spat, too dumbfounded to escape Ventus' joyous, vice like grip.

Ventus shook his head, cheeks pink with giddiness. "Fuck," he whispered, cracking up again and shaking his head. "I woulda never had the strength, even today. _Fuck._ I was always scared of people like him."

"You... were?" Roxas breathed in surprise.

Ventus snorted like Roxas was an idiot. "Fuck, yeah. I met him at a fuckin' beach bar, Roxas. We got in a fuckin' fight an he beat me to a pulp. My face looked like a split watermelon by the time he was finished with me. But you know what he said?" He added in a pontificous, solemn tone. "When I was blowin' chunks on the sidewalk, hackin' up blood an whatever the fuck I had drank the hour before, he patted me on the back, handed me a cigarette, an said that he'd never seen someone fight like me: that if I had been as sober as he was, I could have really fucked him up."

"Minerva," Roxas whispered in revulsion.

Ventus' expression read differently. Smiling, he traced his fingertips up and down his forearms. "I asked if he wanted to share a line an he said he had a better idea. Then he fucked me behind the rocks. Fantastic but fuckin' terrifyin' at the same time..."

"He beat you up," Roxas clarified. "And then you let him fuck you?"

"See, Roxas, you're takin' this completely the wrong way," Ventus returned with outstretched palms and rolled eyes. He used his forefinger to gesticulate, prodding from one event to the next across Roxas' shin. "This was not domestic violence or some shit. This was two men gettin' in a bar brawl. Then fuckin'."

"While you were drunk?" Roxas swallowed.

"Fuck yeah," Ventus retorted. "Back then I was so fuckin' wasted all the time I didn't know my right hand from my left. You didn't see much of me that year, remember?"

"Not really," muttered Roxas.

Ventus shrugged and continued, "I was hangin' out with some questionable people, I guess. Rould and Lauriam, mostly, aka Coke Man and Mr. Weedy," he guffawed. "But Vanitas helped tone me down, if you can believe it. I was so scared and aroused by him I didn't question it at all. That's why I was so fuckin' angry all the time, I was cold fuckin' turkey. An I tried keepin' up the straight as a rod persona for a little while, until we'd fucked enough that it wasn't worth pretendin' to him anymore."

Sighing in nostalgia, he picked up the picture of himself and the cat again, rolling his thumbs back and forth across the feline's bandit black eyes. "Vanitas was the first person to ever have my back. He was the one who suggested I work with Cid in the shop an get him a job, too. We started bondin' on a friendship level when we worked together. We had a lot in common, lot of common contacts from before we knew each other. Even went to the same middle school, just never noticed each other at the time. Both liked football, fightin', smokin', metal music... went to concerts together, regular friend stuff. He even held my hand at one of them; real sneaky, when no one else was watchin'," he added confidentially, as if letting free a tiny bird that had never seen the sun before. He tittered in remembrance, clapping his hand over his mouth as if he could hardly believe the memory himself. "He was the closest friend I'd ever had. I told him stuff I've never told anyone. He told me... awful stuff. Stuff that bonded us together even further. But..."

When he looked at Roxas, it was with a searching glance. Though the boy gave nothing away Ventus continued to stare, seeking from one feature to the next, tears budding along his lashes with each shallow breath until his cheeks glistened.

"I hated you because he liked you more than me," he said finally.

Roxas blinked at him in betrayal.

 _No one would want to rape that little fucker, anyway!_

So it had been a lie. Ventus had been perceptive enough to know, after all.

When Roxas peered down at his hands, he saw they were balled into such tight fists his knuckles had turned white. Unfurling them, he whispered, "was it just me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Was he into other young boys?"

"He told me he'd looked at kid porn before," faltered Ventus with a wince, "but it was just a nasty habit. Mostly jail bait type stuff, like young twinks-"

"-Like me," Roxas said.

Either Ventus hadn't heard or chose to ignore him. Instead of responding he jabbered on, "but the point is, he told me about that side of him, an he was cryin' an knew it was wrong, so I said we could work through our issues together-"

"Why didn't you report him?" Roxas whispered. "The kids in that stuff are real people. They're being sexually abused-"

"Roxas, you don't get it," Ventus explained through nervous laughter. "He said it wasn't little kids! An he didn't even look at that stuff when I was around, he just confided in me! He wouldn't have gotten better if he'd gone to jail, he would've gotten worse, an I might be dead right now from ODin' if it weren't for his help-"

"You knew he was dangerous and you kept him around-"

"I watched him all the fuckin' time, Roxas. He let me see his history an shit. Most of the time there was nothin on it."

"He probably deleted it!"

"Roxas, this isn't even the point of what I'm tryin' to say!" Ventus whined, wringing his hands back and forth as he cowered, "I just wanted to say sorry! I didn't want to get into a whole big-"

"Vanitas was a fucking pedophile-"

"He didn't even hurt you that bad, Roxas, you fought back! When I was your age, I wouldn't have even dreamed-"

"He tried to rape me!" Roxas thundered, jumping up and roaring over Ventus' averted face. "He tried to rape me and you kept him around!"

"I just thought that I could handle him on my own!" Ventus balked. "I thought if I gave him whatever he wanted I could keep you safe an, an keep everyone else safe, too, I guess. I just saw a chance for him to-"

"Why the fuck would you place a pedophile's future over the safety of your own fucking brother?"

"Because I-"

"You're still fucking defending him!" interjected Roxas, jabbing his forefinger at Ventus' cheek and snarling in abhorrance, "You're choosing-"

"I love him!" Ventus thundered, jumping up and slamming the photographs on the ground.

There was silence.

Then, again: "I love him."

Roxas stared at Ventus.

The man slumped against the wall, exhaustion rendering his shoulders and arms limp at his sides. He bowed his head and didn't say anything else.

Shaking his head, Roxas slid to the floor and gazed ahead of him. "How could you..." he started, but lost his words.

How could one man be this fucked up?

"What on earth made you love him?"

"I know..."

"That he listened to a couple of the same bands?"

"Roxas, I know..."

"He raped you."

"No, Roxas..."

"You were high in that video, right?" Roxas insisted, willing Ventus to look at him. "There was no way you could consent."

"Well, I did, Roxas," Ventus finally returned. "Lots of times. An that's my problem."

"Ventus, what he did is illegal," Roxas pleaded.

"Roxas," warned Ventus, "if I went around categorizing every unfortunate sexual experience in my life as rape, I wouldn't be able to fuckin' cope. I'd go so insane I'd fuckin' kill..."

For a moment both brothers fell silent. Then suddenly, Ventus whipped to Roxas and growled, "don't..."

"I didn't say anything," Roxas murmured.

"Well, don't plan on it."

"I have nothing worth saying to you."

Ventus stared towards Roxas in surprise, searching him yet again.

When the boy remained still, Ventus glanced down and picked the photographs up, trying on a chuckle or sigh as he thumbed through each one, slipping some out, holding them up, and then faltering before he decided on what he wanted to say about them. No words seemed good enough. The pile became bigger and bigger, until they engulfed his lap like an offering: pictures of the Altney Strifes, of Cloud, the cat, and even some of their mother and father when they were young. When he found one of his mother kissing his cheek as he stared into the camera, the happiest baby in the world, he held it with both hands. Then, setting it gently beneath the picture of himself and the cat, he pressed his thumbs together at the pair's center, and in one swift movement, tore them in half.

As Roxas watched him go from those to another baby picture, he cried for him to stop, circling his arms around Ventus as he tried pulling him away.

Ventus' strength became superhuman. The pictures fell in shreds around his thighs, like feathers from a plucked bird. The more Roxas begged, the faster he went, breaking each into tinier and tinier pieces.

When a familiar photo, the one of Ventus as a young man washing Roxas in the sink, emerged from his grip, Roxas cried, "no!" Then, without thinking, he slapped the man.

Ventus reeled in shock. He padded his cheek with mouth agape. The pink tinged skin was starting to swell. When he noticed the point of Roxas' gaze, he peered down, seeing the picture in his hand for the first time. As he examined it, he furrowed his brows. "I don't remember this..." he whispered.

"I think..." Roxas swallowed, hovering over the picture in protection, "I think it was from when I was a baby."

"Well, duh," Ventus snorted, wiping the sweat from his eyes so he could focus. "I just... I have no memory of this."

"Me neither," Roxas gulped. "But it's a beautiful picture, isn't it?"

"Yeah..." Ventus murmured. For a moment he examined it. Then, chuckling, he shook his head. "I really have no recollection of this," he said. "That sink looks like Ma's."

"Huh," Roxas said in encouragment. He couldn't remember Cid's old wife very well, except that she smelled of ginger and jasmine most of the time.

Ahead, Ventus cried out.

"This must have been when we went on that family vacation!" he cried. "No, wait? No- oh maybe this is when dad took Cloud on his personal camping trip an you an me stayed with mom an Ma, wait a minute, no. When did Ma die? Fuck, my memory's all mixed up... For some reason, this picture's givin' me a real beach vibe."

"Look!" Roxas gasped, pointing to the window within. "I see a boardwalk."

When Ventus saw it too, he grinned. "Fuck, you really are a fuckin' detective. How the fuck did I think I'd ever sneak past you? This was definitely some vacation when Ma was alive. It's not her house, now that I really look at it, none of the Tupperware is the same... maybe that wallpaper was just popular."

Roxas laughed and scooted closer to Ventus' side. When Ventus mumbled again what a great picture it was, Roxas agreed. "I didn't want you to tear it up because it's my favorite," he whispered.

"Favorite?" Ventus repeated. "You don't even remember it."

"I can feel what it was like, though," Roxas whispered. "I can feel how happy we were in that moment."

"Too bad we didn't create more memories like that," Ventus murmured. He bit his lip. Tears were spilling over his cheeks again. This time, he failed to hold them in. Curling in on himself, he began to sob, his hand shaking so badly that the picture clamped in his fingers whirred like a fan.

Roxas wrapped his arms around his brother's shoulders. To his surprise, Ventus embraced him back, nuzzling his head into Roxas' neck. The feeling of his soft, thick hair brushing along Roxas' skin felt good.

"I'm so sorry, Roxas," Ventus choked, clutching Roxas tighter and heaving tears. Roxas rubbed up and down his back, lost for what to say in return. When Ventus stared up and noticed the blood dribbling down the boy's chin, he gasped and padded at Roxas' lip.

"Fuck," he swore. "I slapped the shit out of you."

"I deserved it for what I said," Roxas muttered.

Ventus shook his head fiercely. Then, silent, he heaved Roxas up under his arm, took him to the bathroom, flipped down the toilet seat, and sat the boy on it. The man almost seemed giddy as he riffled through the medicine cabinet, but the way his hands shook uncontrollably told Roxas it was a more sinister, desperate nervousness.

"Th-this is what I used to do an what dad taught me to do whenever I got in a scrap," he gulped, cracking a weird, sheepish smile as he glanced anywhere but Roxas. "K-kind of feel like I'm carryin' on the Highwind name with this tradition."

 _What tradition?_ Roxas thought to himself. _Beating the shit out of each other because there's no way to say how we really feel?_ He bit the good side of his lip to keep from crying. He felt so sick and strange. So trapped by fate. He didn't even feel the desire to move. As he bit harder, the bad side of his lip separated and oozed more black blood, making Ventus clutch the boy's face and massage down his jaw.

"Don't bite at it, Rox," he whispered in pleading veiled by playfulness. "Here." Jittering, he undid a packet of what looked like thin strips of masking tape and cut them with a cuticle trimmer. Then, setting them gently on one of Roxas' knees, he took an alcohol tissue and swabbed it against Roxas' lip, laughing when Roxas winced.

"This'll just keep it from opening any wider," he mumbled half to himself, taking the back from the tape strips. Then, he pushed the broken part of Roxas' lip together and set the strips over it. After he was done, he dabbed the exposed parts with digestible disinfectant and lead Roxas to the mirror.

"Ta da!" he said, clapping his hands over Roxas' shoulders as he stared at their reflection.

Roxas stared, too, padding at his lip as his eyes reddened. It looked like he'd gotten into a fight. Ventus really did have a monster right hook.

Ventus rubbed up and down the boy's arms in fast, jerking strokes, setting his chin atop Roxas' head as he bit his own lip.

"Don't make yourself bleed, too," Roxas muttered without thinking.

Immediately, Ventus freed his bottom lip and cracked another odd grin, apologizing and stroking down Roxas' hair. When he looked in the mirror again, his eyes grew red and puffy, too. "Gods, we really do look alike, huh?" he croaked, gripping Roxas' shoulders as hard as he could. "Like twins."

It was true. Two miserable, confused twins.

Suddenly, Ventus got another idea, bounding out of the bathroom and returning a moment later with Roxas' laptop. When Roxas furrowed his brows in confusion, Ventus sat him back on the toilet seat and turned the screen to face him. It held the homepage for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, the pointer hovering over the "make a CyberTipline report" link. Before Roxas could really concentrate, Ventus swiped the screen away and began typing furiously.

"I been goin' back an forth over this for a while, an with you just tellin' me I should have made a report, I think now's as good a time as any..." he blubbered, giving a smug grin and puffing up his chest as he settled on the tub side. "So what instance should I report? Actually, don't answer, I'll make a few." More furious typing ensued. Then, abruptly, it stopped. Ventus sent Roxas another desperate grin.

Roxas stared back without expression. "Well?" he murmured. "Did it go through?"

"Why don't you make your report first, actually!" Ventus gulped, "so I can think about mine while you type."

Roxas took the computer without a word, typing in the details of his first encounter with Vanitas and waiting in silence for it to send. When the empty form came back, he passed it to Ventus.

The man balked with how fast Roxas had sent everything, biting his nails and chuckling feverishly as he tore his hand through his hair. Then, a guilty look. "M-maybe I should..." he swallowed apologetically.

Roxas stared him down with no remorse.

Ventus huffed and typed sporadically. Then, with a final click, he beamed and announced that it had sent.

"I want to see," Roxas responded.

Ventus' smile faded. Caving, he murmured that he had just been kidding. "We'll be here all day with how slow it's takin' me. I'll make it tomorrow, though, I promise!"

"I want you to make it now," Roxas intoned.

Ventus' smile slopped away. He faltered back and forth, biting his lip so savagely it bled. He seemed so weak, even weaker than when Roxas had laid eyes on him in the hospital.

"Remember how you said respect is earned?" Roxas whispered. When Ventus froze he continued, "this is how you earn respect."

Ventus blew out a deep breath as new tears tumbled over his cheeks. He gave Roxas one last pleading glance.

Roxas would not budge.

Defeated, Ventus rolled forward and began typing.

After he sent it off, Roxas asked how he felt.

For a moment Ventus thought. Just as he opened his mouth to respond, he shut it and swept up, staring at himself in the mirror as if in challenge. Again, he opened his mouth to answer Roxas' question. No sound came out. Gripping the porcelain sink edge, he glared fearfully at his reflection, teeth bared. Then, slumping, he stared at his hands and asked in a way that feigned off handedness, "Do you think... maybe Vanitas loves me too, in his own way?"

Roxas stared at the floor, emotionally exhausted. "Honestly, Ventus?" he whispered to the tile. "I don't think you even know what love really is."

Ventus' shoulders sagged as he nodded in resignation. His Highwind blush flowered across his cheeks as his lip tucked out. Then, sucking in a breath, he asked if Roxas thought anyone would ever love him.

Roxas' face crinkled as he hid it in his hands. "Of course, Ventus," he breathed. "You just have to let the right ones in." Tears nearly choked his last words. Curling farther into himself, he let his back shake with silent sobs as his eyes scrunched shut. When Ventus surprised him by sweeping him up in his lap, Roxas collapsed into him on the bathroom floor and shook with tears, allowing himself to be held.

Ventus rocked him back and forth, stroking his hair and whispering that he was sorry over and over. Soon, Roxas clutched at his back and nuzzled into his chest, letting Ventus rest his chin on the top of his head again. It continued that way until long after Cid's truck pulled into the driveway. Once the old man barreled upstairs, cursed his way through his ransacked bedroom, and figured out where his grandsons were, he didn't bother them. Perhaps he sensed that some things were better left alone.

•∞•

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 **A/N:**

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 **I welcome all comments/ theories/ etc.**


	22. Lord of D

**A/N: Hi everyone! It's been a while, but this chapter is long, warm, and fuzzy. Hope you enjoy it. As usual, hit me with those comments, follows, and favs! I love hearing what you think!**

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•∞•

 ** _Twenty Two: Lord of D_**

•∞•

It was like cycling up hill trying to give Ventus the courage to ask Aqua out. Though Roxas hardly saw him at all on Friday, he was a bear to drive with to the culture center that evening. He glowered and steered like an animal, cooling down only when Roxas glared at him. Then he went quiet and small and drove at a snail's pace, wiping sweat like running water from over his eyes and around his neck.

Roxas knew he was trying his best. Stepping out like this was going against everything that made Ventus Ventus. Roxas also knew that if not for the man's Thursday night confession, they might not have returned to hula zumba at all. Roxas' split, bruised lip acted as a reminder of all Ventus' wrongs and promises, and the man's furtive glances and guilty smiles reminded Roxas of every moment in their lives that could have been used for understanding instead of hatred.

Though Roxas accepted all of Ventus' apologies that day, he woke up the next morning with a bad taste in his mouth. Images flooded in throughout the school day: memories of sleepless nights spent crying over a teenage Ventus' insults, hiding in the bathroom when the man went on one of his furious rampages, wandering around outside the shop whenever Cid or Cloud got into a screaming match with him, watching like a statue as Ventus vomited slanderous threats from the doorway the day Cloud moved out, Highwind blush roaring down the neck of everyone present, including Cid as he clutched Ven back, with two Altney-Strifes waiting stoney faced in the car to whisk Cloud away. Roxas had wished he was Cloud that day and for many days after.

It was funny. Roxas hadn't even known that memory existed until now. Most of the rest he thought he had long repressed. But it was funny which old thoughts got dredged up in times like this.

In a way, Cloud had been right when he said Ventus messed up their family. Ever since childhood, every problem lead back to him. He was destructive and poisonous in every way, even when he tried to be good. Who had formed him into the monster he had become? Was it their mother, their father, Cloud, or even Cid? Sometimes Roxas felt like the only thing keeping his family from falling apart was himself, and he resented that it was his job to keep everyone in line after what every single one of them had allowed to happen to him.

What if he _hadn't_ had the courage to shove Vanitas off when he went to save Ventus?

He had forgiven so easily. But did Ventus deserve it? There were so many things Roxas didn't know... so many things about his family he thought were true, that weren't. The more he found out, the less he understood.

Something bad must have happened to make Ventus the way he was. Something to do with camp, with the hazing he'd gone through in high school football. His relationship with Vanitas had twisted him even further, there was no doubt about that, but something else had enabled the relationship to happen in the first place. Something much worse. Something to do with why Ventus had flown off the handle at the age of fifteen.

It reflected in the way Ventus couldn't play football unless it was with Roxas. It reflected in the way he would not mention their mother or dare listen to her music. It reflected in the difference between Ventus' face at the age of fourteen and fifteen in the family photo album. It reflected in Cloud's face when Roxas had asked why he left. It reflected in Cid when he mentioned Ventus' guilt. And it reflected whenever Roxas caught a glint of metal by Ventus' bedside table or on his dresser as he left his room, or when there were tiny, pinprick marks of blood on the sink in the bathroom, like little paper cuts along snow white skin.

The blood might have belonged to Cid. After all, he was eternally dripping from shop wounds and scabs he picked whenever he was nervous.

Roxas couldn't tell.

Even the way Ventus confided in him confused him: almost like whenever the man got emotional, he became so out of control that all he could do was vomit new information. Was it because he had kept everything inside for so long and was finally getting the chance to let it all out that he'd started talking, or was it because up until now, his confidante had been someone else?

What terrible secrets had he told Vanitas during their time together?

These thoughts plagued Roxas all the way till the moment Ventus parked the car in front of the Polynesian Culture Center on Friday evening. The entire ride had been silent. Now, as they walked to Studio 3 in single file, Roxas loured behind Ventus like a specter. He watched the man throughout class and stopped him when he tried escaping to the bathroom at the end of the session, passionately ignoring all their fellow students' blinking stares when they caught sight of his split lip and bruised cheek. Aqua's stare was the hardest to dismiss, as it was the most pointed and the longest lasting. But Roxas feigned sunniness as fiercely as possible, laughing whenever Ventus said something self deprecating and playfully nudging the man on the shoulder like everything was fine.

At the end of class as everyone said their goodbyes, Aqua talked animatedly with Sina. Sina's daughter Mo picked up the little equipment they had used and spirited it to the supply closet. Once every back was turned, Roxas glared at Ventus and cocked his head for the man to help out.

Crumpled with remorse for the night before, Ventus stared at the floor and nodded, shuffling over to Mo and asking in a tiny voice if she needed any help.

Peeping at Roxas' encouraging smile and giving a hearty blush, Mo fumbled that she wouldn't mind help at all.

Relieved, Roxas joined them.

When Sina saw the trio tidying, she hoisted up her ipu heke double gourd drum and zipped it in its case. Then, calling Aqua to her side, they all locked up and chatted as they left the building. As Mo glanced shyly at Roxas and twirled her hair around her finger, Sina patted Ventus on the shoulder and told him he was a great dancer.

Ventus' Highwind blush burst across his cheeks and eclipsed him in a crackling, porcelain beam that made Aqua blink and cock her head in wonder.

"Thanks," he swallowed, raising his arm and rubbing the nape of his neck in a desperate effort to hide.

"Your ami are beautifully smooth!" Sina continued. "And you pick things up so quickly!"

"Aqua's really good, too!" Roxas interjected in a way he hoped sounded offhand. "She and Ventus should pair up more often!"

Ventus peeped over his shoulder at Aqua and went redder than Roxas thought possible: half stuttering, half laughing some gibberish that trailed into nothing.

When Aqua realized that he was attempting something along the lines of, "if you would like to go out sometime," she thought about it with furrowed brows and a distant, dark gaze.

Ventus hung on her breath with the same desperate, slightly antagonistic ogle he had all but trademarked. When she snapped up, beamed, and said that she would love to, he reeled back, widened and scrunched his eyes, and then melted into a giggle that made Aqua surprised enough to giggle herself.

"We could go to the movies, or somethin'," he swallowed, furrowing his brows as he attempted remembering what people did on dates.

"We're going to the beach this weekend," Roxas interjected.

Aqua touched her heart and moaned that she adored the beach. "I love swimming in the sea!"

"Well, I won't go too far out," Ventus shrugged. "I had a bad experience with, uh," he gulped, trailing off and glancing away again.

Aqua shot him another hard stare. Then she asked if he wanted her number.

Ventus nodded so fast his head blurred. Then, giving her the home phone because he had "lost" his own, he asked what time she wanted to meet.

"Do you want to go to the marina?" she asked. "I hear there's a lovely restaurant there."

"Yeah, we can go to the restaurant," Ventus breathed. "You mind if I bring my brother? I'm kind of... his keeper."

"I'll stay hidden," Roxas suggested, but Aqua shook her head.

"It's totally fine, Roxas," she insisted.

Roxas straightened with glee, touched by the fact that the woman had actually remembered his name.

Ventus and Aqua decided to meet at the restaurant at twelve on Labor Day for lunch. Then they would go to the beach. When Ventus offered to walk her to her car, she said she'd be fine. Then, she left, waving on her way out.

As everyone watched her go, Sina pushed her daughter forward and said Moana loved the beach as well. Roxas winced and nodded, not knowing quite what to say in return. Ventus saved him by calling goodbye and spiriting him to the truck.

When Sina shouted after Ventus that he should think about joining the male hula class, he muttered that he would, shaking his head in disbelief as he and Roxas got into the truck and drove off.

•∞•

That entire weekend, the beach was packed to the brim. People of all shapes and sizes loaded with towels, parasols, picnic baskets, beach balls, surf boards, team sport equipment, and anything else one could think of flocked in droves, shoving against one another and speeding around the carparks like animals.

On Saturday, Ventus and Roxas went to therapy. Then they wandered Twilight Town Mall looking for hairdressers and beauty products so Ventus could get dolled up. At first Ventus had tried going to the ten dollar barber down the road, but Roxas had inspired him to spend his money on a hairdresser other than one-trick-Wallace, who besides cutting every mop into an aggressive fade had the exasperating habit of telling the same story over and over of how he and his wife almost copulated on Sunset Hill. In the end, Ventus decided to leave his hair untouched. If he and Aqua made it to a second date, he would get it done in Disney Castle, the mall where Roxas had gotten his hair done with Cloud months before.

It was fun taking the reins. Ventus seemed to lose all cognitive ability the moment he passed through the mall's double archway, so Roxas led him around as if he were a blind man, instructing him on what toiletries to buy, what clothes were in fashion, and what little presents Aqua might appreciate come Monday. When they returned home laden with moisturizer, cleanser, body scrubs, and all other manner of nice things, Ventus was so tickled that he promised to take Roxas to the beach alone the next day. Yet come Sunday, several problems arose.

It turned out Ventus had no real swimsuit, as he had left his last one on top of the roof a while back and forgotten to take it down. It was bleached and damaged beyond belief, and the elastic had hardened and crusted over to a white, scabby sludge.

When Ventus tried asking Cid for money to buy a new one, Cid said that he had a perfectly good swimsuit from when he was Ventus' age that would work just fine. When Ventus said that Roxas used that one already, Cid said he could use his speedo.

Ventus sputtered in horror, gasping that Cid already used that one and that he refused to wear something that ghastly in public.

"Ah, you'll be fine," Cid said, trying to mask the devilish smile taking over his features under a long puff from his cigarette. "I called that suit the lady catcher in my day."

"That's cause you were a fuckin' pimply weirdo," Ventus muttered under his breath as he passed.

Cid snapped up aghast, barking for Ventus to repeat himself. When the man would not, Cid followed him into the hall and said he got more action in a week when he was twenty five than Ventus got in a year.

"Pa!" Roxas chided from the hallway closet, deep in preparation for the beach trip as well.

Cid turned to him with an innocent, wide eyed gaze, holding out his arms and saying, "what? It was my Highwind blood, it was insatiable!"

"This isn't a joke, Cid!" Roxas cried, "Ventus needs to look perfect!"

"An why the hell would that be?"

"Because today is a rehearsal dinner for Labor Day! We need to know that his look is airtight!"

"What the fuck is goin' on on Labor Day?" barked Cid, shooting his cigarette behind his ear and whipping from one grandson to the next in befuddlement. "Y'all goin' on a yacht with the fuckin' mayor or somethin'?"

"No!"

"Then what the fuck is goin' on that y'all are bein' so secretive about?"

"Ventus has a date with a woman!"

"What?" Cid blubbered, choking on cigarette ash as he sucked in a gasp.

Ventus roared in mortification and stomped from the room, but Roxas stopped him in his tracks by telling Cid that Ventus needed to look good because she was a real catch. "She reminds me of Rydia's mom, very elegant, except," he added, "she has blue hair."

"Well, by gum, boy, why didn't ya tell me ye were goin' out with the fairer sex?" Cid cried like Ventus had just won the lottery. Scrambling through the kitchen and into his bedroom like a twelve year old on speed, the old man giggled and tore through his closet. While he was gone, Ventus stared towards Roxas and mouthed _now look what you've fucking done!_

Far from apologetic, Roxas shrugged and sat in silent acceptance until their grandpa swaggered out displaying a tiny, horrendous article of cloth that made Ventus hold back a barf.

It was the infamous speedo- well, not _the_ infamous speedo. This one was even worse, never before seen till now.

It was not a traditional speedo, which normally look more like briefs and reach from mid hip to the beginning of the thigh, just past where the package ends. This pair looked like lingerie. The low rise was so low it seemed barely capable of holding in what it was supposed to without a little bit of column peeking out the top. As for the length from hem to hem, it looked maybe four fingers long on either hip, with a bulge at the center. The ass seemed to be a "cheekini" style, because there was no way it would cover the entirety of Ventus' backside.

It had three blocks of color. At the sides and back, it was aquamarine. On the package, it was divided between red and ultramarine. All in all, it seemed to emit a weird glow, either from its datedness, its originality, or simply the memory of all the times Cid's dick had nestled in it.

As Ventus and Roxas sat frozen in horror, Cid winked and brought out a tiny, personal photo album, scanning through before landing on a picture of himself with nothing but a cigar in his mouth and _the_ speedo guarding his package, surrounded by a group of female lifeguards.

"That was my Baywatch summer, boys," he winked in self importance, pointing to a particularly busty lady with deep auburn, curly hair spilling over her shoulders before sighing, "And there's yer grandmama. Shoo-wee, what a gal." When he engaged in an almost nonexistent head bang and started humming the lyrics to _You Shook Me All Night Long_ by AC/DC, Ventus gagged for real and left the room to faint or be sick.

When Cid followed him and asked what was wrong, he hissed that he wouldn't wear that thing if it was the last piece of clothing on earth.

"Well you can't go around Twilight Beach buck naked, boy!" Cid chirped.

"That thing is worse than being naked!" Ventus snarled. "It looks like fetish lingerie."

"What the fuck is he talkin' about, 'flemish laundry'?" Cid hissed to Roxas.

Roxas could manage nothing but a slow blink in reply. When he asked Ventus to at least try it on, the man roared "no!" from the safety of his room.

"Cid said he'll give us money for food and drinks and stuff if you try it on," Roxas sang, making Cid whack him upside the head. When silence emanated from Ventus' bedroom, Roxas added, "remember your promise!"

After a pause, Ventus peeped out of his bedroom with a defeated glower and muttered that it couldn't hurt to try. He picked the speedo up by the tips of his fingers and carried it at arm's length to the bathroom as if it were a dead, bloated animal in need of disposal. There was silence after he slammed inside save for muttering and snorts of incredulity. When he waddled out with his hands in front of him, Roxas and Cid sucked back a collective breath.

Ventus was... a good looking guy, to say the least. The shower and scrub he had subjected himself to the night before had boiled away all the dirt hiding his golden tan. It also brought out his pink cheeks and startling blue eyes. He had a gorgeous body, toned and formed in just the right places after a mere month of getting back in shape. The speedo coupled with his Highwind blush accentuated that form, drawing the viewer's eye without mercy to what lay between his legs, which made Cid and Roxas gasp again when Ventus chanced moving aside his hands.

Even if Roxas counted the men in the porn video, it was one of the biggest dicks he had seen in his life. Granted, the only dicks he _had_ seen in real life were his dad's and Cid's when they used to shower outside while camping, and the ones belonging to the varsity football boys, most of which had nothing on his brother. Ventus had either gotten slightly erect or had decided to tuck his dick weird, because it snuggled horizontal along the plane of his right leg, painfully obvious through Cid's swimsuit. When Cid saw it, he sniffed back tears.

Ventus glowered at him as if he had four eyes and pinchers for teeth.

Their pa set his forefinger and thumb before his mouth and shook his head, whimpering a little. "By golly," he said in a breathy whisper. "If there's any evidence of the Highwind blood... there it is, right there... we're always ready for action, ain't we, boys?" Then, as if welcoming a new member to the Masons, he brought Ventus in for a "man" hug, which basically meant flexing, slamming your fists in rhythmic spurts on the other person's back, and holding them as tightly as possible.

Ventus winced against the back punches but patted Cid back. When Cid brought him in for an even closer hug, he nearly toppled over him. To Roxas' surprise, Ventus seemed to be getting a little teary eyed, too. It must have been the first time Cid really hugged him in, well... years.

As Ventus slipped his arms closer and sniffed, Cid murmured that he was sorry for treating Ventus differently all those years. "I guess I been a bad pa," he sniffled.

"Well..." Ventus said, wincing, rolling his eyes, and muttering that Cid was a good pa.

The old man nearly choked. Then, wrenching away, wiping his eyes, and glancing towards Roxas, he said Roxas could graduate to his other speedo. "We gotta keep the tradition goin', boys," he insisted, bleary eyes puffy and narrow. "Yours was about the age I started branchin' out, if you know what branch I'm talkin' about," he guffawed, making his grandsons groan. "I swear to baby Minerva, you put on these pieces of clothing- they are christened with my love, musk, an probably a few of my pubic hairs-"

"Oh, fuckin' hell, Cid," Ventus hissed, wrinkling his nose and trying not to go green.

"An they will bag you a woman an a half like no fuckin' tomorrow!" Cid hissed, jabbing his finger into Ventus' bare chest. As he rummaged around for the other speedo, he added, "I'm tellin' you, boys, minute I got out of my daddy's car, an minute your daddy got out of my car, shoo-wee, we were un fuckin' stoppable. I'm tellin' you. Baywatch Summer. Fifteen women. Five days. Your granny wasn't the last of those five days, but she sure fuckin' was the best. That's why I got together with her again."

"Pa!" Ventus and Roxas bellowed.

Cid held up his hands and chuckled, tickled with himself. "An Ventus, don't you ever. EVER tell Cloud this... but I think you mighta been a little more blessed in the packin' an loadin' department. So you better use that speedo like your life depends on it. That blue haired lass'll be meltin' down your arms like rain."

"She ain't like that, pa, she's a woman of refinement," Ventus snapped, nearly purple from blushing.

Cid let out an "ooh," chirping that those ones were the best. "Just have fun, you two," he insisted. "Sorry I can't be there, I have to work in the shop. I guess I've aged out of the ol' lady catcher, anyway."

Ventus and Roxas left it at that, taking their speedos and throwing them in the wash, Ventus hoping with crossed fingers that his would disintegrate along the way. Unfortunately, it was not to be.

After speedo-ing up, Cid handed them money, gave them his short, seventies era athletic shorts and old button downs to wear over their swim trunks, and instructed them on how to walk in the clothing, because apparently it took a certain "swagger." Then, his grandchildren escaped, stopping by the Item Shop along the way to pick up picnic stuff.

As Roxas and Ventus walked in, reeking of sunscreen and clad in Cid's seventies attire, Roxas couldn't help but watch the heads turn. To his dismay, most centered on Ventus, who towered above him like an oblivious deity. What looked like Bermuda shorts on Roxas looked like booty shorts on him, hugging his ass and accentuating the speedo he wore beneath the lycra. His stomach and chest were paler than the rest of him, and he hadn't bothered buttoning up his shirt, preferring to leave it open in the late summer, midday heat. His upper thighs were lighter than the rest of him, too, as well as his ankles and feet. The only thing holding him back from godliness were the horrible black compression pads he wore over his forearms and the weird gashes peeking from just under his shorts. Women drooled as he passed. When he boomed for Roxas to pick out the ice cream, Roxas scrambled up and hung over the fridges in reverence, chancing to unbutton a bit more of his shirt so he could compare his muscles to Ven's.

He was getting there, he reasoned with himself. As he hunted around for the sea salt ice cream, the bell tinkled and the sound of familiar laughter wafted up from the welcome mat. When Roxas turned, he groaned.

Why did the varsity football team always sneak up on him when he was at his most vulnerable?

As Roxas buttoned up his shirt like a man pursued, Ventus snorted and asked what was wrong.

Roxas hissed that they had unwittingly entered enemy territory.

Where Roxas had to peep and stand on his tiptoes to see over the aisles, Ventus merely raised his head. When he noticed the kids filing through the door towards them, he grunted, clapped Roxas on the back, and said he was going to the fridges for drinks. "What kind of chips you want?" he asked over his shoulder.

Roxas was too terrified to respond.

Shaking his head, Ventus lumbered away.

Suddenly, there was a screech.

When Roxas whipped around in shock, Rikku, Yuna, and Paine were standing a couple feet before the ice cream fridge, clutching each other by the arms and staring forward with expressions traveling a scale between ecstatic and horrified. When Roxas glanced over his shoulder and discovered that they were staring at him, he furrowed his brows, turned back to them, and muttered hello.

"Roxas," Rikku said through a mad giggle, tiptoeing up to Roxas' shoulder and bending over his ear. "Who the fuck was that scream machine talking to you a few seconds ago?"

"His brother," called a deep, grunting voice behind.

When Rikku snapped up and swiveled around, she was met by Ventus' towering form, louring down under heavy blond brows like a beige thundercloud.

While Rikku swayed on her feet, Yuna and Paine burst into high pitched, manic laughter as several others were attracted their way. To Roxas' terror, many were from the team.

Larxene floated forward with an open, slightly smiling mouth, followed by a whining Lea. Xion stood near the pay counter staring at Ventus as if turned to stone. Riku, Isa, and Seifer scowled and compared muscles in dejection. And Sora, clad in much the same outfit as Roxas save for a t-shirt instead of a button down, stood on the welcome mat with eyes wide, cheeks blushing, and mouth agape. For a moment Roxas imagined he was looking at Ventus. But the boy's sight line was too low. It was almost as if Sora was ogling at him.

 _Gods, please let it be true,_ Roxas squealed inside his head, whipping back to the ice cream and attempting to strike a pose he thought looked cool. When Larxene snorted behind him, he gave up, opened the fridge, and reached in for his frozen treat of choice. As he bent over and the hem of his speedo exposed under his shorts, he felt something graze his upper thighs.

Swiveling around in shock, he was faced by two electric blue, dilated eyes under glowering brown brows. Sora.

Roxas tried to escape, indicating to the side, mumbling, and attempting to take a step, but Sora refused to budge. When Roxas asked what he wanted, he shrugged and asked why Roxas was all dressed up. His eyes trailed down Roxas' flushed cheeks to his chest, resting on the Highwind blush that had crawled around his nipples in soft halos, barely visible beneath the slant of the button down as he leaned over.

The brunet licked his lips. Then he beamed, cocked his head, and demanded an answer.

Roxas shrugged, muttering that he was just enjoying the last of the summer.

Sora stared unabashedly at his ass, trailing his finger over and poking it under the pretext of pointing out his speedo. "You're wearing a bathing suit," he whispered.

Roxas nodded.

"You're going to the beach."

Roxas cursed in his head, refusing to answer. What the hell was Sora playing at?

Sora took it as a yes, emboldening himself to announce, "we're going to the beach, too!"

"We are?" complained Lea from the other aisle. When Sora snapped "yes," Lea scowled and muttered that he was being a typical "ride whore," deciding trips without the car to go in.

Sora blushed and shot back a look that read, _"what the hell, man?"_

Lea snorted, rolled his eyes, and lumbered off.

Every girl present traded off ogling between Roxas and Ventus. Roxas was a clearer target, but Ventus emitted Cid's weird speedo glow all the way across the store. It helped that he was utterly blind to all the attention he was getting. He even reached his hand down his pants and scratched and readjusted himself, which just made the girls' mouths water more. Kairi reached for the straw of her Big Gulp with her tongue, missing and lipping the air instead. Riku watched in dejection as she stared, and in turn Xion pierced him with an expressionless gaze.

Ventus boomed over his shoulder for Roxas to hurry the hell up.

Sora searched out the offending voice with a scoff. When he saw the outline of hair, the back definition, and the angry, sea blue eyes, he gasped and went weak in the knees. "Is that Ventus Highwind?" he squeaked.

Roxas nodded.

"He's my hero," Sora whispered under his breath, eyes watering.

When Roxas sighed in jealousy, Sora turned to him with a crooked grin. "You look a lot like him, you know," he said. "Barring height and muscle mass you could be twins."

"People always tell us we look like twins," Roxas whispered, realizing too late that Sora had basically said he looked like his hero. When he glanced up under his thick lashes, Sora blushed harder, recovered with a grin, and leaned so close his knee pressed between Roxas' legs. When he knew everyone's eyes were elsewhere, he brushed his thigh right along the bottom of Roxas' pants, right under his balls.

Roxas felt the blood rushing towards them. He shied away until Sora laughed and leaned back.

"So we'll see you at the beach?" the brunet whispered. "Where will you be?"

"Uh... I kind of promised the day to my brother," Roxas swallowed.

"Oh?" Sora winked. "You going on a date with him?"

"No," Roxas muttered. "He's just helped me a lot with football and I want to spend time with him."

"That's sweet," Sora winked again, shooting Roxas another winning smile. "We'll probably be on the sand. They've got some great dunes. Have you been?"

"I usually stay on the dunes," Roxas whispered.

Sora nodded. "Dunes it is! That's where the bonfires and ball are best. We can be out there all day. I'm sure your brother wouldn't mind. Does he ever fuck high school girls?" he blurted out, making Roxas' heart stop.

"Wait," Roxas muttered. "What?"

Did no one know Ventus was gay but him? Could that mean... Vanitas hadn't released Ven's video yet?

"How old is he?" Sora asked.

"Uh... twenty five?" Roxas responded through confusion.

Sora shrugged and grinned. "The girl's football team are total sluts," he confided, patting Roxas' shoulders and winking knowingly. "I've had sex with like, every single one of them. I bet he could do three at once if he wanted, he's that good looking."

"I don't think..." Roxas gulped.

"And if he's into guys, I'm sure some of the boys would be willing," Sora snickered, cocking his head towards Demyx, who was laughing and trying to jump on Lea's back at the front counter.

"Demyx is gay?" Roxas breathed.

Sora snorted that he had at least one foot in the door. "I mean, sports are totally sexual. Doesn't really matter what you are, you're going to get interested in another guy's junk at some point. It's hormones, right?"

"Well..." Roxas muttered. "For some people the hormones last."

Sora stared down Roxas' shirt again as he finally picked out four sea salt ice creams.

Ventus was already paying when Roxas reached his side. The man grunted when he saw the four additions, adding the ice cream to the rest of the stash with a swipe. When Roxas saw Ventus trying to slip in a pack of cigarettes, he groaned and snapped no.

"Oh, lay off," Ventus whined.

Roxas thought he spotted the girls behind mouth _so cute!_ to each other. As they giggled, he insisted that Ventus shouldn't be smoking.

Ventus scowled and shifted from foot to foot. Then he caved and chucked the pack back to Wantz, the little boy attempting to man the cash register.

When Sora wandered up and tried introducing himself as Roxas' friend from football, Ventus responded, "hey, bully," and then turned to Roxas and told him to meet him at the truck. Then, he pushed through the shop door and was gone.

Roxas and Sora exchanged a glance. Sora's face contorted into a grimace as he asked what Ventus knew.

How quickly the niceties faded. It didn't take much for Sora to return to his old, snide self.

"He knows that you torture me during practice," Roxas squeaked with as much bravery as he could muster.

Sora scowled that he did not torture Roxas. "This is high school sports," he hissed. "We haven't even begun the real initiation yet. When you start actually contributing to the team, then you can opt out."

"How am I not contributing?" Roxas insisted.

Sora pierced him with a knowing glance, snickering that Roxas played ball like a headless chicken. "You're not even using your body to its full potential, I've seen you move your hips and they're like vices..."

Roxas was rocketed immediately back to the porn video he had watched with Hayner at the beginning of the summer. Was Sora quoting it? Probably not. Even so, a vision of himself being nailed by the brunet in the locker room showers splashed through Roxas' head and made him go hard. He tried adjusting himself on the sly, but Sora caught him.

The brunet whipped down his glance and widened it in awe. As he met Roxas' eyes, Roxas averted his gaze.

Sora gave a devilish grin. Then he leaned into Roxas' ear. "You know, all you have to say is yes," he whispered.

"To what?" snapped Roxas.

"You know exactly what," Sora grinned. Then he shrugged and backed off. "Just don't take everything so seriously," he insisted. "Don't think of it as torture, just think of it as goofing off! No one's trying to hurt you. What have we done besides expose you, and that was only because you wouldn't even fucking shower with us."

"You shoved my clothes in the toilet," Roxas intoned.

Sora insisted that that had not been him. "But if you and I got on a little better," he added, "that stuff wouldn't happen at all. No one messes with star striker, including Isa, who was probably the one who did it. He'd do worse, too, if I wasn't telling him to lay off all the time."

Roxas muttered that he wouldn't be blamed for anything if Lea told the truth about what happened in the clocktower.

"What really happened doesn't matter now, newbie," Sora drawled. "All that matters is how you deal with the current situation. See you at the beach. And if I don't, I'll think you don't want to be friends!" he added, backpedaling away.

Roxas furrowed his brows and stomped out of the store, muttering goodbye to Wantz as he left.

Ventus was waiting for him in the truck, already chowing through the bag of Doritos. When Roxas wrenched into the passenger side, he passed the bag over.

Roxas thanked him and munched as well, shoving his hightop clad feet against the dashboard with savage kicks. When Ventus whistled for his attention, he glanced over and snapped, "what?"

The man pierced him with a dorky grin, lowering and raising his eyebrows as he asked if Roxas wanted to do something really faggy on the way to the beach. When Roxas asked what, Ventus whipped out their mother's ABBA CD.

For a moment Roxas stared. Then he screeched in delight and told Ventus to put it on.

Slipping the CD into the slot and pulling out onto the road, Ventus slid his tongue through his teeth and flicked it up and down like a lizard, gleeful and glowing.

 _Dancing Queen_ filtered across the speakers and Roxas turned it up full blast.

Ventus opened his mouth wide and tore through the opening refrain by rote, warbling perfectly with every riff and run.

Roxas listened in ecstasy, clapping and squealing every time the man added in head or arm movements. When they pulled down their windows, they nearly lost their bag of Doritos.

Once the chips were saved and the exit to the beach taken, the singing reached new heights, Roxas faltering tragically as he didn't know the lyrics as well as Ventus. When the man skipped to _Lay All Your Love On Me,_ it became clear what his favorite ABBA song was, even if before he had made Roxas believe he didn't know the identity of the band to begin with.

Soon, a car started honking its horn behind them. When Roxas turned and Ventus swore that he would break check them if they honked again, Roxas realized out loud that it was Kairi's car, packed with Sora, Riku, Xion, and a host of other kids. Behind them was another car which no doubt belonged to Lea or one of the other seniors.

Roxas groaned and slumped back in the seat, crying out when he received a whack to the head from Ventus. "What was that, for?" he demanded. "I'm depressed enough as it is!"

"Two minutes ago you were singin' like a banshee an now you're depressed?" Ventus snorted.

"Those assholes are following me!" Roxas whined, kicking his feet on the dashboard and pouting into the seat side like an overgrown baby. "They'll be on us like bedbugs for the rest of the fucking day."

"Just relax," Ventus cooed. "And be patient."

When they came towards a roundabout, Ventus slowed down as if coming to a stop. Then, just as another car came upon him, he drifted out and cut right across the road to the beach, revving up to a drastic speed and mowing through two sets of yellow lights.

When Sora's cronies were sufficiently left in the dust, Roxas screeched in delight and told Ventus to head for the marina. "They said they love staying by the dunes," he explained. "We'll avoid them at all costs."

Ventus snorted in dismissal, muttering that he wasn't going to let a bunch of scrawny high schoolers ruin his day. "If I want to play in the dunes, I play in the fuckin' dunes. Anyway, I need to give my arms time to breath, and I can't do that on a fuckin' pier filled with people."

"Why not?" Roxas whined. "What's so bad about your arms?"

"Roxas," Ventus snorted. "They have five inch gashes runnin' down the centers. Anyone takes one look at them and knows I'm a suicidal cunt."

"But you are-" Roxas started, yelping and giggling when Ventus tried pulling his hair.

Against Roxas' will, they parked near the sand.

For about an hour they played hide and seek between the dunes, Ventus turning into a panther that bounded on all fours where there were no civilians to call him a wierdo. Roxas even got him to roar when he threw a stick at him. As he tried creeping around without being caught, Ventus sailed right from over a round of bushes and tackled him down a twelve foot hill. They tumbled and rolled unable to stop themselves until they hit a parasol and an old couple trying to build a sandcastle. Then, apologizing, they scurried away to find a place to set up their picnic.

By then the sun was high and unforgiving. Groaning, Ventus pursed his lips and whispered that he really wanted to go swimming. But the shore was full to the brim with parasols and sunbathers and surfers and whatever have you. So instead, he hid in the dunes, took off his compression pads, slipped down to his 'lady catcher' speedo with Roxas at his side, and went to sleep.

Roxas watched in dejection as people passed wet from the ocean. When he asked if Ventus wanted to get in, the man grumbled "no."

"I'm not about to make anyone lose their lunch starin' at my ugly ass," Ven muttered.

Roxas' mouth slammed open in disbelief. It didn't seem like his brother was joking, but what the hell kind of serious self image problem gave him the gall to call himself "ugly"? Roxas pondered the indecency of it all for a few moments until an idea popped into his head. Then he asked if he could look at Ventus' way finder necklace.

Ventus sighed and took it off, grumbling for Roxas not to lose it.

Grinning, Roxas mulled it over in his hands, cooing that it was gorgeous as he slipped Ventus' outer clothes away from his side. The older boy didn't notice when Roxas buried them beneath the sand and slipped the way finder around his own neck. It was only when he scaled down the dune they hid behind and chucked one of his shoes at Ventus' head that the man rolled around to glare at him.

When Ventus saw Roxas' glance of determination and noticed his missing clothes, the color left his face. "Roxas," he warned. "You bring my fuckin' necklace back or I swear I will flay your fuckin' hide."

"Wanna see if your stupid necklace floats?" Roxas gulped, holding up the charm for Ventus to see.

Ventus sat up in horror, roaring for him to come back or he'd make Roxas sorry.

"You have to catch me first," Roxas snapped. Then, stripping down to his speedo, he turned, tipped, and sprinted towards the water.

Ventus screeched for him to come back, hesitating as he tried in vain to find his clothes. "You hid my fuckin' compression pads!" he wailed in horror.

"You care more about your compression pads than your way finder?" Roxas screamed over his shoulder, stumbling and stopping as if he had dropped the charm by accident. When Ventus howled and tore after him, he screeched and sprinted faster, refusing to look behind as he jumped and sailed over parasols twice his size. He could hear Ventus' roar and thundering footfalls in the sand, but it only made Roxas move faster.

The man was gaining on him.

Changing course and swerving under the feet of a pair of surfers carrying their boards in the way, Roxas grinned and laughed as Ventus slammed into the pair and sent them flying. When his brother scrambled up, he really did look livid.

Roxas held back the urge to wail, grinning and tearing faster, jumping over a child and dog and sliding beneath a boogie board as the water rose like a mirror ahead of him. But the thunderous foot falls were getting too close for comfort. The faster he ran, the slower he seemed to get.

Finally, just as he met the surf, he was launched off his feet and into the air by a force much greater than himself. Kicking and screaming over Ventus' back, he giggled and wailed as the man carried him over his shoulder deeper into the waves. When he tried pulling Ventus under, the man slapped him hard on the ass, grabbed him by his speedo, rotated him around like a discus, and launched him naked through the air until he crashed into the waves.

A few families watched in amusement or nervousness until Roxas spluttered up. When he demanded that Ventus give him back his speedo, Ventus demanded his necklace.

Roxas scowled and chucked it at him.

When Ventus caught it, winked, and started walking back to their towels, Roxas begged for him to give him his clothes.

Ventus called over his shoulder that he was a capable runner.

Roxas scowled and shivered, dipping under the water when a group of pubescent girls floated by trying to get a look at his backside. All he needed now was for Sora to come over and see him in this state.

Suddenly nervous that that would happen, he glanced around, cut his losses, and flew back across the sand, hands cupped between his legs as several people screeched or cackled in delight. When he returned to Ventus' side, the man sat smugly in speedo and open button down, way finder brandished like a badge of victory against his chest.

"Where's my swimsuit?" Roxas demanded.

Ventus shrugged that he might have left it in the ocean.

"Fuck you!" Roxas snapped, glancing around for his other clothing. When he couldn't find them either, he groaned and told Ventus to cut it out. "I was just trying to get you in the water!"

"An you did," Ventus chirped, rolling back around and snuggling against the towel. "Congrats."

Roxas scowled, stomped his foot, and whimpered for Ventus' help. When the man ignored him, he groaned and started digging, at it for an hour before he realized that Ventus was hiding the clothing beneath his towel.

Just as Roxas bent beneath him to wrench the clothing out, bare asshole in the air for the whole world to see, a shadow fell over his back and a voice called, "whoa, brah! There are kids around!"

Ventus and Roxas scrambled up at the same time, Roxas digging for his speedo and shimmying it up his hips as his Highwind blush shackled him.

When Ventus looked into the face of the mysterious man who had greeted them, he let out a half sigh, half whimper. When Roxas looked, he could not help but do the same.

If Ventus towered, this man eclipsed the earth. He was broad, immensely tall, and tanner than Roxas, with bright blue eyes and brown hair a little lighter than Leon's and a little darker than Sora's. He wore a speedo as well, although his was red with white stripes down the hips, and he had a line of sunscreen down his nose, shades perched on his scalp, and a whistle around his neck. To Roxas' delight, he was beautifully endowed.

When the mystery man held his hand out to shake, Ventus took it like it would disintegrate if he came within an inch's contact. When the man clapped hold and fired up and down with a laugh, Ventus lurched forward and back in bliss, looking anywhere but the man's eyes and thighs.

The stranger asked what Ventus and Roxas were doing hiding up in the dunes.

Ventus blubbered that they didn't want to scare away any of the beach goers. "Our grandpa made us take his speedos," he croaked, making Roxas wince.

Ventus must have been the worst conversation starter in the world, but the stranger shrugged and winked, murmuring that a speedo never hurt anyone. "Especially on a good looking body. As far as I could see from the stand as you ran into the water with this fella, you weren't scaring a soul," he added with a snort. "I for one thoroughly enjoyed the show."

Ventus' mouth dropped in shock. His blush sailed all the way around him in a halo, making him incapable of speech. When he gulped that he was just kind of shy, folding his button down like a kimono over his bare chest, the man guffawed and said he had no need to be.

"You've got one of the best bods I've ever seen!" he cried. "I'm not usually this forward, and I _promise_ I was actually lifeguarding and not just ogling you... but you did make it really hard," he crooned, emphasizing the 'hard', winking, and guffawing again when Ventus gulped and perched his hands in fig position. When he clapped his hand around Ventus' shoulder and rubbed up and down, the blond nearly combusted.

Suddenly, Ventus asked to know the stranger's name.

The man winked and said, "Terra," drumming his foot against the dune beneath and laughing again. He seemed to be nothing but a giant ball of joy.

"Mine's Ventus," Ventus almost whimpered, glancing up at him from under his lashes.

Terra cocked his head to the side and "ah'd" as he listened, murmuring that he loved Ventus' accent.

Ventus wrinkled his nose, muttering, "I thought only hicks had this accent. I hate it."

"Don't!" Terra insisted. "I come from Departure, where it's all, 'yeah, brah!' and 'party down' and 'sweeeettt!' We sound so fucking stupid and pompous it's ridiculous."

When Ventus laughed, Terra continued, "nah, you guys have weight. Nice tone, too. I'm sorry, I'm totally buttering you up," he added, hiding his face as he blushed.

Ventus nodded in ecstasy, gulping as he mustered up enough courage to ask if Terra wanted his number.

The man seemed to pull out a sharpie from behind him in an instant. When he pressed aside the hem of Ventus' speedo, brushed his fingers over the pale skin beneath, and pressed the pen over a soft blue vein, winking that he didn't want to put the number in a place it would wash off easily, Ventus lurched against him and asked in desperation if he wanted to go for a walk.

Roxas stepped back and wandered around them in circles, digging his feet into the sand and trying to block out their verbal love making.

"I gotta get back on deck in thirty minutes," Terra warned, but Ventus shook his head and said thirty minutes was plenty. Then he turned to Roxas with a desperate, feral grin, asking if he could just have thirty minutes to himself.

Roxas scowled, muttering that he would be by the pier.

Ventus gasped thank you. Then, he and Terra walked off shoulder to elbow, Hector and Achilles.

For ten minutes Roxas remained pouting in the dunes, staring around in impatience for his brother. Then, he scrambled up and wandered off, leaving his picnic in place as he swept from dunes to pebbles to large, slate like stones. He walked the same way he had with Hayner and Pence the day he had lost his glasses, hopping over rock after rock in just his speedo and open button down, and picking his footing carefully to escape sharp boulders and barnacles along the way. When he reached the familiar concrete walkway rising out of the landscape in an ugly prism, he scrambled onto it and wandered to its end, peering over the ladder into the water.

It was high tide, high enough to dive in and not go near any rocks. The waves were big, too.

Sighing, he plopped himself down at the ladder's edge and slipped his thighs through the rungs, slumping his cheek against the handle and watching the gulls as they floated across the distant waves unperturbed by the sea's ferocity.

So much for his and Ventus' day at the beach. On the bright side, they had played in the dunes for a long time. When they went to the beach again, he was getting Ventus away from the hot life guards and into the water sooner. Sora hadn't taught Roxas to swim against the tide for nothing.

Waves carrying his mind to the brunet again, Roxas swished his feet back and forth, soothed as his heels thumped gently against the peer's stone drop. He thought about the lists Mrs. Tui had assigned him. They'd discussed a few yesterday morning, but with everything going on at school, Roxas hadn't given them enough thought. He didn't want to, what with the rule about being honest about his desires- even the 'illogical, dangerous, and embarrassing ones' as Mrs. Tui had put them. Now, with the brilliant sun beaming down like Sora's smile, surrounded by the cloudless blue of his eyes, and reminded of the boy's promise about friendship, Roxas felt engulfed in his presence.

How far was he willing to go to get what he wanted? What did he want, anyway? Normalcy, friends, and boyfriend? For people to treat him with respect? To have a bright future free of worry? Those seemed like pretty humble wishes to him. As for how probable those scenarios were on a scale of one to ten...

He didn't see his family turning normal anytime soon. Hayner and Pence were warming up to him again, but he didn't hang out with them enough because of football. As for Sora...

The waves threw themselves against the pier, the spray sizzling up and tickling the soles of Roxas' feet. With a groan, he laid back and spread his arms, leaning back his head and stretching either way. Then, relaxing, he slumped and closed his eyes.

His shirt tickled against his nipples. The water continue spraying against his feet, his thighs still hooked in the rungs of the ladder. Lazily, he rolled to the side so that he could peer over the edge again.

The water was so clear and blue. Though it howled, it was almost inviting.

Rising to standing, he bit his lip and peered over his shoulder. If he could wake up, see Sora's blushing, inviting smile, and feel the softness of his skin and hair under the sheets, what would he do to get it? Would he jump off the peer without being asked?

With a scowl of excitement he whipped off his button down, leaned off the ladder, took a deep breath, and took a running jump.

Burst. Swirl. Swaying and sinking down, lips and eyes shut tight.

It was the same feeling he had when he jumped on Riku's command. Only this time, everything was his.

Passing through the same icy cold and coming up for air, he was knocked backwards, cackling in ecstasy as he flipped over a coming wave and rose up a good four feet higher than he had been floating, coming back down like a little surfboard, before squirting out any water he had taken in on his way. Everything reflected back to him, clear as day, not a blur for miles.

Testing his swimming skills, he paddled out where the waves were less intense and floated around, staring up at the gulls in the sky and peering around at the beach in the distance. Then, tickled, he scrambled back to the ladder, stumbled his way up, and jumped again. It was exhilarating.

When he tried jumping a third time, a voice peeled out behind him.

For a moment, he whipped around with a sparkling grin, privately fantasizing Sora but prepared to call Ventus' name. When he saw familiar blue eyes and messy chestnut hair, his features froze and he scrambled to pick up his button down. As he shoved it back over his head like a suit of armor, there was a cry of indignation and pattering flip flops. Then, Sora was at his side.

Roxas tried passing, but like always, Sora stood in the way.

Roxas kept his head down, shocked and embarrassed. Then he muttered that he needed to leave.

"Why?" Sora insisted, real as ever. "Because I'm here?" His freckles, normally muted, shone above the light sunburn speckling his cheeks.

Roxas faltered. He muttered that he'd rather jump off the ladder of his own accord. "I don't have any glasses for you to throw overboard this time."

"I saw you running naked on the beach," Sora said suddenly, making Roxas wish he could dig under the sand and disappear.

"No one else saw you, though," Sora insisted. "You looked like you were having fun, so I didn't tell the others you were here."

Roxas shook his head again, capable of nothing else.

"Then I saw you walking off on your own..."

"So you followed me?" Roxas snapped, sounding surprisingly like Ventus. "That's creepy as fuck."

Sora balked, scowling and cocking his head to the side. For a moment he stared Roxas down, willing them to meet eyes but shooting his gaze down when Roxas shielded his hands between his legs, where the blood had rushed to his penis. With a smirk, Sora stepped aside and indicated the exit back to the boardwalk.

Roxas gave him a wary glance, worried he would try something. But instead, Sora shrugged, slipped around him, and walked to the ladder himself. As he went, he pushed his speedo down his legs and chucked it to the side, kicking off his flip flops until he was walking with just his t-shirt perched half way up his abdomen. When that came off too, he peeked over his shoulder and winked.

Roxas gaped at him, frozen and dumb in disbelief. Was this a dream?

Sora gave Roxas no time to guess, clapping his hands between his legs, swiveling around, and backpedaling, saying that since he had made Roxas feel uncomfortable before, maybe Roxas could make him feel uncomfortable now.

"It's not tit for tat," Roxas snapped, voice hoarse.

In return, Sora cocked his head to the side and crooned, "tit?" His hands rose slowly from his ever so slightly hard member, tweaking both nipples in circles with the tips of his fingers.

Roxas' eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

Sora shrugged that he wasn't shy. Then, backpedaling to the very edge, he did a backflip off the end of the pier and splashed into the water.

Roxas yelped in horror, scrambling over to see if the boy would come up with a bloodied head. When he glanced down, Sora sprang through the waves giggling like a baby, crying for Roxas to come in, too. When Roxas hesitated, Sora booed.

"Come on!" he called. "Don't be such a prude, have some fun. I'll even kiss you like my girlfriend if that makes you feel better," he added.

Roxas gripped the handles of the ladder in desperation as he listened, weighing his options as Sora floated on his back and exposed himself again. The vision rendered Roxas incapable of clear thought.

This was a dream. It had to be. On Mrs. Tui's list of probable situations, this would have ranked in the negative.

Sora shrugged and continued. "That's every fag's fantasy, right? Turn their straight friend gay?"

"I'm not your friend," Roxas warned, Sora's comment a bucket of cold water to the head.

Sora gifted him another bright smile and laughed like honey. "Then call this a pact!" he suggested. "It's like blood brothers except with saliva. Isn't it romantic, being kissed under water?"

Roxas lunged forward and backward in a standing fetal position, torn between running to the safety of Ventus and jumping into the unknown with a boy whose intentions were constantly, completely unclear. All he could think about were Ventus and Mrs. Tui.

 _What do you want, Roxas?_

If he jumped in the water, what would happen next? Was he ready for whatever might come?

"That thing you did," he found himself saying. "On the beach."

Sora's smile faltered and fell into a scowl. When he muttered that he and Roxas didn't have to dwell on that anymore, Roxas averted his gaze to where he had come from and ground his teeth.

"You were going to put it in... without even... without me..." he mumbled, gulping, trying desperately to regain his train of thought.

"I got ahead of myself," Sora intoned from the water. "I'm sorry." Then, his smile became edgy and desperate. "Come on, already! I'm getting cold."

Roxas walked towards him as if in a trance. Then, slowing at the last moment, he blubbered, "that was sexual assault," turned, and fled for the rocks, springing the same way he had come without once looking back. He had never been so light-footed and rarely been as terrified. But Sora did not follow. By the time Roxas returned to the beach, Ventus was calling for him in a breathy, ecstatic cry.

"You wanna go to the pier?" his older brother barked, bouncing on his feet.

Roxas groaned in vexation, finally chancing a peep over his shoulder and muttering that he thought it was time to go home. But Ventus would not budge. He shook his head and insisted they go, dragging Roxas by the back of his button down as he hauled their picnic with them.

By the time they returned, the only people present were a group of prepubescent girls and boys vying for attention and an old man sunbathing on the rocks. When Ventus boomed for the kids to move and they screeched and ran, he front flipped off the pier ladder's top rung and dove through the waves, bursting through the surf and calling for Roxas to get in after him.

This time, Roxas did.

The brothers paddled out together, grabbing and pulling at each other as waves bowled them over or under. When they let up and got far enough out to talk without anyone hearing, Ventus said he had hit the jackpot.

"What?" Roxas gasped. "You asked Terra on a date?"

Ventus snorted and drawled, "fuck, no! We made out and I gave him a blowjob."

Roxas paused in disbelief. Then he snapped, "what?"

"You heard me," Ventus said smugly, taking a lap around him and squirting him with sea water.

Roxas averted his cheek and splashed him, snapping that that wasn't part of the plan.

"Why fuckin' not, he was sexy as hell," Ventus crooned, reliving the experience as he dabbed at his mouth.

Roxas hissed in disgust and clawed furiously at the cheek Ventus' squirt had hit. "You're not supposed to do that when you just meet someone!"

"Why not?" Ventus balked. "He's never gonna talk to me again."

"How do you know?" Roxas insisted. "He said you were beautiful!"

Ventus snorted and set his eyes to the heavens. "He did not say that, Roxas, he said I had a good body."

"He said he liked your accent!"

"Maybe he has a fetish for rednecks."

"No! He wrote his number on your hip!"

"I don't think he finished it."

"Ven!" Roxas roared, splashing him again. "You're just finding excuses. You're taking the easy way out!"

"No, Roxas, I'm takin' the healthy way out," Ventus snapped. "Guys like that do not like guys like me. They want somethin', an I gave him what he wanted because he did somethin' nice for me that nobody else has ever done an I rewarded him for it. That's all it has to be, not some fuckin' declaration of love an fuckin' marriage."

"But he obviously liked you!" Roxas whined. "You're worth more than a blowjob behind some... dune, or wherever."

"Lifeguard shack," Ventus corrected. Then he snorted and shook his head, muttering that Roxas had no idea what he was worth.

When Roxas asked if Terra had at least returned the favor, Ventus cringed.

"Like fuck I'm lettin' a man like that between my legs. An see my scars? The ones on my arms are bad enough."

"What scars do you have on your legs?" Roxas snapped, too eager.

Ventus faltered to silence and dipped beneath the waves, not coming up till Roxas returned to the ladder.

They sunbathed near the rocks, Ventus taking the chance to go commando when the old man that was sunbathing left. As he laid spread eagle with his back to the sun and his jaw to the stones, Roxas gazed where Sora had backpedaled and bit his lip, looking for signs that the boy had once been there. Of course, there was nothing.

Maybe he really had dreamed it. Maybe he hadn't even jumped in the water in the first place, just fallen asleep by the ladder, woken, and fled, pursued by nightmares. Had his speedo been wet when Ventus found him? He couldn't remember.

Wishing it true, he announced out loud that he had met the bully again.

"I guess he didn't get a blowjob from you," Ventus slurred.

Roxas huffed and said, "no." Then, after a pause, he admitted that Sora got naked.

Ventus snorted but remained otherwise unaffected. "Whoo-wee," he croaked in a high, pitchy version of Cid's bark. "Izzat Highwind blood between yur ligs buoah, dun turned the poor fellur degenerate."

Roxas giggled in spite of himself and muttered that Sora had asked him to skinny dip, too.

"Did he touch you under the water or somethin'?" Ventus slurred.

Roxas shook his head "no," adding that he had never gotten in the water to begin with. "He asked me. But I walked away."

Ventus scowled and shook his head. Then he muttered that he and Roxas had the opposite problem. When Roxas asked what, Ventus shrugged.

"I'm too easy an you're hard as a rock."

"No!" Roxas insisted. "He sexually assaulted me, Ventus! He... he pressed himself on me on the beach. Didn't I tell you?"

"I don't remember," Ventus groaned, half asleep. "All I can say is if Terra came up an pressed himself on me, right now, I'd have no choice but to let him tear me in two."

"That's horrible!" Roxas hissed.

Ventus said that sex was the definition of pain. "Specially for the person on the bottom. You're supposed to get off on the other person's enjoyment, not your own."

Roxas gazed ahead in disbelief, remembering the three day marathon he had spent in his room after discovering gay porn and prostate stimulation on Cloud's computer. _That_ sure as hell had not been painful. When he asked if Ventus had ever orgasmed before, Ventus warned him with his eyes that this conversation was off limits.

"Ventus, I just want to know," Roxas pleaded. "Have you ever cum from... you know, just your ass?"

"Roxas," Ventus snarled. "Shut the fuck up."

Roxas snapped his mouth shut. Then, in a hiss, he said that he had.

Ventus looked at him like he was crazy, snorting that he was a little liar.

"I'm not," Roxas said coolly. "I've done it lots of times. You don't have to have someone else."

"An how the fuck did you cum from the pipe you shit out of?" Ventus mocked. "You been watchin' too much fuckin' gay porn, Roxas. You know that shit is fake."

"What if it's all in one take?"

"They don't film it in one take..."

"What, have you been on a porn set, before?'

"Have you?"

"No!"

"Then fuck off."

Roxas fell silent with a scowl while Ventus clicked his heels together like Dorothy out of the _Wizard of Oz_ , satisfaction dripping from every part of him.

As Roxas watched, he sighed. "What I felt wasn't fake," he said importantly, making Ventus snort again.

"All you have to do is stick something up there," Roxas insisted, shying away when Ventus bored him with a killing glance. "And you search out this walnut shaped thing inside and press it until you... feel waves of... and then... ejaculate. If you've tried it and nothing happened, then maybe you just need to have a little more patience!"

Ventus stared off into the distance, perplexed and horrified at once.

When Roxas found a rock about the size of his prostate and tried shoving it in Ventus' face as a demonstration, the man yelped and swerved away. Then, discomfited, he pulled his clothing back on and asked if Roxas wanted to eat lunch.

They sat in silence, watching the crowds pass on the boardwalk. Then, after walking back and playing a bit of football on the beach, they called it a day and steered for home, vowing to come again on Labor Day.

When Ventus confirmed that he had invited Aqua, Roxas asked if he could come along.

Ventus admitted that he didn't think he'd have the courage to come out at all without Roxas by his side.

Chuffed, Roxas leaned his face against the passenger window and stared at the whizzing beach grass in satisfaction. An orange bike flew in the opposite direction of them, along the boardwalk side. Roxas wondered if it was the same bike that had mowed past him the day Sora had pressed against him.

ABBA blared across the speakers along with Ventus' warbling voice. The windows lowered. Roxas had to lift away his head before his cheek got caught between the rubber and the glass.

Ventus seemed so happy. Roxas couldn't help but feel the same.

In all his time worrying about what he would do to get Sora to like him, Roxas had never considered what Sora might do to get Roxas to capitulate. If what had just happened on the pier had been real, it changed everything.

The longer Roxas stalled, the harder Sora seemed to work. Such a sensation of power moved through Roxas as he thought about it, like he held the whole world at the tips of his fingers. When he felt blood rushing between his legs, he lowered his head and smiled to himself, curling away from Ventus as he closed his eyes and relished the wind against his lashes.

When they passed the item shop they got more sea salt ice cream. Ventus even picked one up for Cid. Then, they tore home and ordered takeout, sitting together at the table, playing music, and laughing as a family for what felt like the first time in an eternity.

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 **A/N:**

 **Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW!**


	23. Dark Energy

**A/N: I know it's been a little while but I've been dealing with writer's block. This story is getting into heavy ground (as if it isn't there already, lol) plot wise, and growing a flower takes a lot of work. So bear with me and keep sharing your thoughts :)**

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 ** _Twenty Three: Dark Energy_**

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"Ventus?" Roxas called, bursting open the lavatory door with a glowering, angry-parent gaze. When no one responded, he started hunting stall by stall, bending with his hands clasped on his knees and glancing around for feet. Nothing. Then he noticed a large, ominous shadow pooled around one of the toilet beds, larger than possible for the size of the basin. Scowling, he jumped, grabbed the top of the door, and hoisted himself up, peeking overtop just as Ventus' objecting cries pierced his ears.

"Gotcha," Roxas grinned, avoiding Ventus' whizzing right hand and scrambling aside as the man dismounted the toilet seat and burst open the door.

Instead of going for Roxas, Ventus wrenched for a sink and stuck his head under the tap, Highwind blush turning him feverish. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head as the bathroom entrance door caught a draft from the window and creaked. "Motherfucker," he gasped, cursing again when he spilled water on Cid's ancient green high tops.

Ventus had considered wearing flip flops, but Roxas told him to "go creative." Granted, Roxas had no idea how to dress for a date, either. Maybe flip flops would have been more logical since they were going to the beach. Did high tops look weird with speedos? Roxas had worn his just yesterday and no one had looked at him funny. Maybe he'd walked his brother into a trap, after all...

Getting feverish himself, Roxas bounded to the sink beside and splashed himself as well. When he glanced at Ventus again, he giggled, whispering that this was kind of thrilling.

"Like fuck it's thrillin'," Ventus croaked, cupping his hand with water and downing it in one gulp. He shut off the sink and wiped his hands on his button down.

Cid had made them wear their "lady catcher" uniforms again. Their pa thought it weird that Roxas was accompanying a date meant for Ventus and "the funny haired gal," as he liked to call Aqua, but when Roxas insisted he was going so Ventus wouldn't make a fool of himself, Cid grumbled acquiescence and let it slide.

Besides, Aqua was charming. Roxas wanted to talk to her, too.

After giving Ventus a short pep talk, they burst back into the restaurant fray, which wasn't substantial quite yet, as it was still a little while before the beach's designated "lunch hour."

Aqua sat at a booth against the wide window-for-a-wall at the restaurant's front. When she saw Ventus and Roxas coming, she perked up and waved, calling that the food had just come.

Ventus gave an awkward laugh. When he tried slipping opposite her, Roxas stole his seat.

Aqua scooted over and patted her side. As she glanced away to take a bite of her tuna sandwich, Ventus blushed and slipped beside her, inching closer and shying back when he couldn't decide how near he should sit. When he brushed her arm accidentally, he froze.

She glanced towards him and smiled, saying a quick "no prob" when he blustered apologies.

Puffing out in relief, he chomped on his fries and asked if she wanted some.

She chirped yes.

Roxas stared at them in affection, smiling when they shared a giggle.

The rest of the meal went smooth as silk, Ventus budding slowly the more Aqua let him in. When he spilled ketchup on her leg by accident, yelped, pressed his hand on her thigh, scooped the drip up with his finger, and licked it off, she snorted, he broke into giggles, and they tapped heads as they bent close.

Roxas jittered up and down in his seat, beaming and laughing as well. Once the meal ended, everyone headed for the beach.

Ventus explained its different sections as they traipsed down the boardwalk, asking how crowded Aqua minded her ocean adventure.

She shrugged and said crowded was fine, so they took her to the dunes, Ventus glancing around in ill ease as Aqua smoothed down her towel and set her beach tote to the side.

When Roxas stared in the same direction as Ven's gaze, he saw that he was peeking towards the lifeguard tower. Two people sat side by side in its chairs chatting, but Roxas couldn't make out any features.

"Oh, wow, I think I see my neighbor!" Aqua gasped, pointing to a gaggle of kids playing at the base of the dunes nearby.

When Roxas peered where she was pointing and noticed familiar speedos and black and pink bikinis, he cursed.

The fucking football team.

Aqua tried asking what was wrong, but he muttered that it was nothing, that he would stay in the dunes.

When Aqua asked Ventus if he wanted to come in the water, he said he might stay in the dunes as well.

Aqua snorted and tore her sundress over her head in irritation, making her companions perk up when they saw her cute, violet bikini. Its upper half was scoop necked, thick strapped, and buttoned down with a knot at its center. The bottom half was a normal, chikini style that basically looked like the girl version of Ventus' speedo, insufficient to cover her perky, muscular backside. Ventus and Roxas drooled in adoration as she fiddled through her tote for sunscreen. When she asked if one of them could help her put it on, they blustered incoherent acquiescence, shooting each other forbidding looks as they tried silently figuring out who would help her first.

Eventually it was decided that Ventus would sunscreen Aqua's back, Aqua would sunscreen Roxas' back, and then she would sunscreen Ventus' while Roxas sunbathed.

Roxas scooted between her legs in excitement and leaned forward, wincing at the feeling of cold dribbling down his back and grinning when he caught the familiar, almost coco-nutty scent that reeked of summer. When Aqua started massaging the sunscreen between his shoulders and down the center of his spine, he gave a thoughtless, loud sigh.

"Well good morning to you, too, Roxas!" Aqua chirped in amusement, making Ventus snort and Roxas blush and hide his head between his knees. When Aqua's fingers grazed the sides of his ribs, he yelped and cinched shut his arms, trapping Aqua's fingers and making her cry out with laughter as she toppled over him.

"Roxas!" she giggled. "You're trapping me!"

Roxas whined and attempted wiggling out of her grasp, but he could feel her tickling under his armpits, which just made him struggle more.

"Roxas, just," Ventus started in irritation, before scowling, slinking from behind Aqua's back, and lifting Roxas' arms above his head so that Aqua could escape. As she crawled away backwards and rolled around to a seated position, an evil glint lighted in her eyes that made Roxas sink into Ventus' chest.

"I didn't know you were ticklish, Roxas!" Aqua said sweetly, shooting Ventus an elaborate wink.

Ventus caught on immediately, lifting and lowering Roxas' arms one by one like a marionette as he grinned, "hell yeah, he is. Highwind curse."

"Oh, it's a _family_ curse, huh?" Aqua gasped innocently, standing up and creeping towards Roxas like a hopping vampire. The closer she got, the more he whimpered in preemptive, giggling terror.

Ventus' eyes shone with equal mischief, and he raised his own arms away from his sides so he could practically lift Roxas off his feet. "Go right for the sides of his nipples, it'll make him-"

Before he could finish, Aqua's fingers shot around Roxas' sides and spidered up and down the sides of Ventus' pecks. The man let out a thundering screech that made the whole beach swivel around, but none of the trio cared.

"Get him down, Roxas!" Aqua roared like a tiger, tickling her way from the pits of Ventus' arms to behind his ears as he stumbled and howled his way to the sand.

Roxas nodded with enthusiasm, clamping his thighs around Ventus' knees so his hands were free to assail the dips between Ventus' hips and belly button.

When Ventus saw where Roxas was going for, his eyes widened. Before he could screech 'no', he gasped and cackled in pained laughter, shutting his eyes tight and flailing from side to side as Aqua took the tickling intensity up a notch when she discovered that the center of his neck all the way up to his chin was a massive soft spot.

"NuUuGaAaaAAA!" Ventus wailed incoherently, panting and choking on his own spit. His captors gave him just enough time to regain his breath and gargle weakly, "I t-trusted y-you..."

Aqua cackled without mercy, commanding Roxas to have at him again.

Roxas tickled along Ventus' stomach in bliss, relishing in torturing the brother who usually had the upper hand when it came to strength and swiftness. With Aqua by his side, Ventus was putty in his vengeful hands. "This is for all my years of suffering!" he sang at the top of his lungs, lunging away from one of Ventus' knees when it flew at his balls. Not that the man was intentionally trying to go for a cheap shot. Ventus could barely comprehend who he was anymore judging by the drool caking the side of his mouth and the tears sprouting in his eyes.

But Roxas had underestimated Ventus' power. The offending knee weaseled its way out of his grip and flailed towards him with a mind of its own, kicking and digging any way it could as Ventus tried wriggling his way out of his assailants' grasps.

"Mayday, flying limb!" Aqua called as' Ventus toes nearly grazed her nose.

Roxas laughed along until he realized that Ventus' speedo and over shorts had nearly rotated full circle around his waist. When another body part popped out of their embrace, he yelped for time out and allowed Ventus to escape. "Stray ball," he added as Aqua blinked in disappointed confusion.

"Stray ball?" she repeated, looking down at the worst time possible.

As Ventus readjusted his lady catcher, Aqua sucked in a breath and hopped a few feet away, fixing her hair to hide the blush creeping across her cheeks.

After recovering, Ventus groaned in exhaustion and set his head in Aqua's lap without thinking, leaning his cheek against the inside of her thigh and eyeing it with a narrowed glance. If he was considering tickling her back, the idea didn't last long. He sighed in defeat and relaxed in her grip, looking calm for the first time in weeks.

Aqua didn't seem to mind the physical contact. In fact, she relished it, stroking her fingers through Ventus' hair and watching with satisfaction as his eyes blinked closed.

"I'd apologize for flashin' you," he slurred, smacking his lips and snuggling into a ball. "But I feel like it was your fault."

"Why?" Aqua cooed. "It was Roxas' idea to tickle you."

"It was not!" Roxas cried, making Aqua laugh and wink at him.

"It's okay, guys," she sighed. "I'm lucky one of my boobs didn't pop out."

"But it did pop out," Ventus chirped, making Aqua's hands in his hair freeze.

"What?" she snapped.

Ventus shrugged and blinked one eye open, pointing towards her left breast.

Gasping, Aqua whipped her gaze down and padded around for the nonexistent offender. As realization dawned on her, Ventus took his pointing index finger and flicked it under Aqua's nose.

"You little liar!" Aqua snapped, slapping Ventus' shoulder playfully.

"Made you look," Ventus said in a baby voice, before snuggling down again.

Roxas sighed in envy, rolling onto his stomach and tapping his feet together as he imagined how it felt to lie in someone's warm lap and fall asleep. When he imagined plush, smirking lips ghosting down his back, he shrugged the feeling away and shook the thought out of his head.

"So when are we getting in the water?" he heard Aqua ask. He could almost feel Ventus' lip curling.

Ventus must have mumbled some sort of response, because Aqua's ensuing scowl was oppressive.

"Come on!" she whined. "You can't go to the beach and not get in the water! I mean, look at those waves! They're to die for."

"Lie," Ventus shot back, a little more acrid than intended. "I can think of at least twenty places with better waves than Twilight Town."

"Yeah, they're packed to the brim with tourists and trash," Aqua shot back. "I used to live in Daybreak. I know a good beach when I see one."

Roxas rolled his head towards Ventus and blinked an eye open.

When the brothers met each other's glance, Ventus huffed and slipped from Aqua's lap, flopped on his stomach, crossed his arms below his chin, and cinched his legs in unspoken defiance.

So that was his final word.

Aqua blinked in challenge, waiting for him to get up. When he would not, she shrugged, pulled herself to her feet, and wandered down the sand alone, chest and head held high as she hopped past dogs, towels, and children. Every head present turned to stare at her as she passed, but she remained oblivious to her beauty, pressing her fingertips over her breasts to stop them from jiggling as she ran.

As Ventus and Roxas watched her, Ventus shook his head. "She really is beautiful, isn't she?" He sighed in reverence.

"So are you," Roxas murmured, making Ventus roll his eyes and glance down at the awful compression pads still encasing his arms.

Throughout everything, Aqua had not mentioned or stared at them once. When Ventus peeped from their black, sweaty ribbing to her pouting expression as she gazed at him over her shoulder, he groaned and curled into a ball.

"You need to go down to her," Roxas insisted.

Ventus grimaced and peered towards the lifeguard tower, hissing that Terra might be there.

"It's not Aqua's fault you gave a random guy a blowjob the day before you took her on a date to the same place," Roxas muttered.

Ventus groaned and squirmed, whining that he didn't want to get his compression pads wet.

"You just got them full of sand and sweat and now you're scared of getting a little salt water on them?" Roxas intoned.

"That ticklin' was against my will!" Ventus shot back. "Besides, they get super fuckin' heavy when they're wet, an I just don't wanna look stupid with them on-"

"Then take them off!"

"What, you want me to strip naked an do an interpretive dance about my suicide attempt, too?"

"That's ridiculous, Ventus!" Roxas snapped. "Your scars are not that bad!"

Without responding, Ventus swiveled to a sitting position and wrenched one of the pads down. A raised, ridged, and swollen pink line about half a centimeter in diameter spanned a quarter of his bare forearm, lighter, shinier than the rest of his skin, and surrounded by feint bruises.

When Roxas croaked that he could hardly see it at all, Ventus dug up the hem of his shorts and pulled down the skin of his upper thigh, which was studded with more raised, pale lines, thin as crinkled paper. Roxas had not noticed them when he tickled Ventus in the sand. When he caught sight of a fresh, scabby one close to where Ventus' pubic hair began, any expression wiped off completely.

"I used to cut myself," Ventus muttered, concealing the scars and sniffing in shame.

"Then what's that fresh one?" Roxas whispered. When he met Ventus' eye, the man blinked and averted his gaze in a stutter.

For a moment there was silence. Then Ventus blubbered that it was just a cut he got from his razor. "I, uh, I-I tried shaving," he mumbled. "I was just... it's really none of your fuckin' business, anyway," he scowled, trying to scramble towards the boardwalk as he muttered that he needed to go to the bathroom.

Roxas caught his arm and refused to let go, pinning him to the ground in an aggressive hug.

At first Ventus struggled against him. Then, giving up, he settled his cheek against Roxas' head and whispered that he couldn't do it.

"What?" Roxas whispered.

"This was a bad fuckin' idea," Ventus warbled, tears shimmering around his lashes. "Fuck!" he groaned, hiding his face in his hands. When Roxas forcibly pulled them away, Ventus hid in his shoulder.

"I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach," the man whispered. "I haven't been this fuckin' happy in months an it scares the shit outta me."

Roxas could feel the terror and anxiety in his voice. "But, Ventus, it's good to be happy," the boy started, but Ventus wouldn't let him finish.

"Not for me!" he explained, gazing at Aqua in longing. "It just puts my guard down. Makes me transparent as a fuckin' washed up jellyfish waitin' to be slipped on."

"But..." Roxas tried with a solemn shrug. "Transparency is part of what makes jellyfish special."

Ventus swiveled slowly to stare him down. For about a minute, they shared each other's gaze. Then Ventus burst into cackling laughter that made Roxas blush in indignation.

"What's so funny?" the younger man demanded.

" _Jellyfish are meant to be transparent_ ," Ventus said in a mocking tone, cackling and rolling around the sand. "Holy _fuck_ did I forget how fuckin' dumb you are..." then, freezing, he looked Roxas' way and gave a warm smile. "But you know what? Stupidity is part of what makes you special."

"Oh my gods..." Roxas groaned, scowling when Ventus laughed harder. By the time they recovered, Roxas was staring back towards the football team.

"There it is," Ventus crooned over his shoulder, making the boy whip around in irritation and snap, "there what is?"

"The real reason you're hiding with me in the dunes," Ventus intoned. Within seconds, a shadow passed over his gaze as his brows furrowed. "Fuck, someone's comin' over," he breathed, squiniting to get a better look. "Chestnut hair and soulful blue eyes."

"Who?" Roxas barked in fright, popping up and looking around like a cocker spaniel. When he realized the football team, far enough away to pass for ants, was toting their bags in the opposite direction towards the Cove, he shot a mean glare Ventus' way and huffed his way back to lying down.

Ventus eyed him in sun drenched satisfaction. "I knew there was something keepin' you out of the water. Afraid the Big Bad Bully's gonna ask you to skinny dip again?"

"I don't care about him," Roxas shot back with gusto. "Fuck him!"

"I thought that was your job," Ventus replied, breaking halfway through the joke into more overdone cackles.

Roxas' blood boiled as he listened. Snapping, he shrugged and explained in a fierce trill, "I mean laugh and deflect all you want, Ventus, but the reality is that your date is playing by herself in the water while you dig your head under the sand and cry about scars that she doesn't give a shit about."

"Of course she gives a shit!" Ventus scoffed. "She was holdin' my compression pads while she was ticklin' me! You think I didn't see behind that trick? Pin me down and take a quick gander while I'm oblivious?"

"You think she peeked under your compression pads while she was tickling you?" Roxas hissed. "Do you realize how insane that sounds?"

"She saw my ball," Ventus deflected. "An if she saw my ball, she saw my cutting."

"Do you know how long she'd have had to stare at your junk to realize you cut yourself as well?" Roxas retorted.

"She blushed!" Ventus finished with a knowing gaze, as if that was the final blow.

"Cause you flashed your ball!" Roxas screeched, clapping his hand over his mouth when the beach goers below looked up at them again. Incensed, he scrambled up, flipped off his chucks, slipped out of his athletic shorts, and warned, "hide in the sand all you want, Ventus. But don't come crying to me when you lose a great friend because you're suspicious about tipping the universal balance or whatever the fuck it is you're PMSing about. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go in the fucking water." Then, turning on his heel, he skimmed the sand towards the waves, praying under his breath that the football team didn't decide to come back this way for round two. At first, he didn't hear the sigh and crunch of sand and shells behind him. It was only when Ventus was whizzing by his side that he realized the man was going for the water, too. When Roxas realized he had left behind the compression pads and stripped to just his speedo, he gasped in relief and followed at a jog.

When Aqua glanced around and saw them coming, she waved, jumped up and down through the water, and called their names.

Suddenly, Ventus began to run, leaping this way and that like a bronze blur, turning just as many heads as Aqua as he descended.

Aqua cheered him on as he charged like lightning into the waves, screeching in delight when he dived in beside her, sheathed her in a wall of water, and came up several yards away. As she paddled towards him, he scooped her up and twirled her around, heaping her in his arms and nuzzling her neck in violent affection. If Aqua noticed the gashes on Ventus' arms and thighs, she didn't say a word. Instead, once she was let go, she shoved a column of water his way, making him yelp and kick back at her.

When Roxas waded close, Ventus scooped the boy up and chucked him over his shoulder, making Roxas scream as he pinged through the air like a spinning top.

"Hold on, hold on," Aqua gasped with joy, asking if she could get on Ven's shoulders.

Ventus nodded and bent at the knees so she could climb up his thighs.

When she got on his shoulders, balanced with the help of his strong arms, she straightened, steadied herself, and back flipped into the waves.

Ventus boomed in roaring delight, hugging and swinging her around in ecstasy when she came up for air. "That was fuckin' amazing!" he gasped.

Aqua blushed and shrugged that she used to do that all the time with her sisters. "We loved the water," she sighed, lingering in Ventus' grip as Ventus lingered in hers. "We swam nearly every day in Departure."

"I thought you said you were from Daybreak?" Ventus returned. He wiped the salt water from his cheeks against his shoulder so he could keep twirling her around.

"I worked in Daybreak," Aqua explained. "Lawyering. It sucked."

"You're a lawyer?" gasped Ventus. "That's crazy."

"It is crazy," responded Aqua. "Sometimes I wonder why I studied law in the first place."

"Good money," Ventus returned with an encouraging smile.

Aqua shrugged. Then, forcing a beam, she asked what inspired Ventus to come in the water.

Ventus and Roxas shared another of their habitual looks. Then, crumbling into a shrug and hiding his bare forearms behind his back, Ventus cooed that he just felt like it, all of a sudden.

"Wanna go deeper?" Aqua chirped, paddling forward.

Ventus looked out to the deeper waters in anxiety. Was he thinking about the lid of the oil drum, still out there, somewhere, along with the plastic oar and empty cement bag he had brought with him that night? "Not too deep," he suggested. "Just up to my pecs. Enough to get my arms under the water."

In one of the quickest, most discrete movements Roxas had ever seen, Aqua flashed her gaze from Ventus' forearms to his blushing cheeks, a ripple of concern passing over her features like the shadow of a storm. The look was gone as soon as it had come, replaced by an ineffable beam that had Roxas to considering whether he had just imagined the previous ripple at all.

"You lead the way, traveler!" she chirped merrily, following closely behind Ventus' sun-kissed back.

Roxas watched them as they swam, sudden misgiving twisting the heart in his chest.

Had Ventus been right all along? Had Aqua not only noticed the compression pads from the beginning, but inferred their purpose? Even if it were true and she did know... did it matter?

Shivering, Roxas dipped beneath the water, pointed his hands in diving position, and dolphin kicked forward for as long as he could hold his breath. He didn't want to stick around any longer. Besides, the date wasn't his ship to sail.

He suspended himself in the shallows, letting himself be carried this way and that, before popping up for air and peering around. A seagull bobbed ten feet ahead of him, unperturbed by his beady glare. When Roxas slunk towards it, it turned and paddled away, surprisingly fast for its slow gait. Roxas loomed behind for a good ten minutes, stopping near an outcropping of boulders to look around when it cut its losses and flew away.

If he squinted he could make Aqua and Ventus out. They seemed fine, trading in conversation for chasing each other through the waves. Ventus' smile shone.

Feeling a nip at his fingers, Roxas turned towards a pool in the rock and noticed a tiny anemone, open and tickling his thumb. Grinning, he let it sting and hold him, cooing at it as its endless, tiny limbs stretched back and forth over the plains of his fingerprint.

"How do you do it?" Roxas whispered, grinning when the top few tentacles raised towards his face. The rest continued suckling his finger, sending a dull, harmless ache under his nail. "The sea should be harder on a soft, small critter like you."

Suddenly, something whammed into the back of his head and sent him flying through the water. When he staggered up, gulping a wave as the tide crashed into his chest, he padded around his scalp, demanding to know who had hit him. Crying voices called his name as a beach ball floated by his side.

"Roxas!" someone repeated in a familiar, high pitched squeal.

When Roxas turned, he gasped.

Yuffie and Rydia barreled over the rocks towards him with arms outstretched, followed closely by their brothers, Cecil and Vincent.

Roxas leapt to meet them and threw his arms around both girls, yelping when they knocked him backwards. Cecil had to break them up and hoist Roxas up by the arm to stop him from gulping any more sea foam. As the boy sputtered and coughed, he blinked into the gaze of his rescuer with wide eyes over red hot cheeks.

Thank gods he knew so many hot people. And thank _gods_ for the creation of speedos.

Cecil wore nothing but a set of purple briefs and his usual claw necklace that set off his ghost pale skin. He'd forgone his lavender lipgloss and tied his hair into a bun, which dripped down his back in messy, wet strands, proving he had been swimming already.

Vincent, standing a few feet behind, wasn't in a speedo, per se, but his red trunks were close enough. His hair was tied in a bun, too. His nails were still black, but chipping.

Roxas sighed at both men and clutched his heart until Yuffie lurched him around.

"Roxas, why did you never call me?" she whined in betrayal. "It's been like a month since you slept over!"

"Yeah, we missed you!" echoed Rydia, clamping her hands around Roxas' waist.

"Guys, give the kid some fucking space," Cecil barked when Yuffie tried rolling Roxas under the waves again.

When Roxas responded by wrestling her, the lavender haired man rolled his eyes, turned to Vincent, and shook his head. "To be young, beautiful, and gay," he joked under his breath, making Vincent snort and nod.

 _Beautiful?_ Roxas chirped in his head, popping up to stare at Cecil in appreciation. He'd definitely hold that compliment dear for the rest of his life. Hiding behind Rydia in embarrassment when Cecil asked where the rest of his family was, Roxas shrugged and mumbled that he was third wheeling his brother's beach date.

"Yo, Cloud is here and he never fucking told us?" Vincent balked, making Yuffie and Rydia squeal in excitement.

"Did Rydia ever tell you she had a big fat crush on Cloud before Lea?"

"Yuffie, STOOOOPPPPP!" Rydia cried through her hands, hiding herself in a coming wave.

"Tifa must be here, too!" Cecil grinned, whipping over his shoulder and cupping together his hands. "YO, FIRION! BARTZ! SQUALL!"

"It's Leon, you fucktard!" retorted another familiar voice.

Roxas stifled a joyous gasp. When he saw the gods crawling over the rocks towards him, he nearly screamed.

A gaggle of disgustingly handsome men sauntered forward with a swagger that told Roxas they knew in their hearts that they were made from heaven's finest clay. Roxas had to grip Rydia and Yuffie by the shoulders to keep from falling into the surf and pulling away with the tide, never to be seen again. When he stared half terrified and half aroused into Yuffie's eyes, she granted him a smug, knowing glance that said, _oh, I understand, my friend. **I understand**._

"Oh!" she chirped out loud, eyeing Rydia with a wink as the girl ogled as well. "I forgot to mention Rydia's other crushes..."

"All of them," Rydia confessed in blissful defeat. "Don't even try naming them, we'll be here all day."

"Roxas!" Leon grinned, pectorals and package bouncing as he jogged to Roxas' side. He was wearing a shorter, swimsuit version of the kind of shorts Roxas wore during soccer practice, meaning little was left to the imagination. When he wrapped Roxas in a hug, Roxas steered his hips away so that there would be no unfortunate... meetings.

"You look amazing, Rox!" cooed Leon after pulling away, ruffling Roxas' hair and rubbing down his shoulders.

Roxas bathed in the attention, casting his eyes down and shuffling his feet through the surf as he mumbled sheepish thanks. "You look good, too," he added in a swallow, reaching up and ruffling Leon's chocolate brown mop, now cut past his chin, and reveling in the thick wetness of the strands. "Y-you cut your hair."

The man did his reflexive, puppy dog head shake after Roxas' hands drew away, cocking his head to the sun and shaking his bangs out, shivering from his head to his toes and staring around with a sheepish glance once everyone laughed at him.

"Holy fuck, Cecil!" cried a honey eyed boy with short, messy locks the same color as Leon's, but parted down the middle instead of to the side. His natural disposition seemed similar to Sora's, that is when the striker wasn't being an insufferable shit, and the mystery boy's admiration for Cecil shone through his dimpled, flushed cheeks as he slammed the lavender haired man on the back. "Leon really _is_ a puppy! I wonder if he'd shimmy if I scratched behind his ears, too..."

Before the young man could swipe for Leon's head, Leon ducked and embraced Roxas again, not helping the blood rushing between the boy's legs at all.

"Nah, I'm only a puppy for Roxas," Leon winked, ruffling up Roxas' hair, too. When Roxas' legs buckled, Leon caught him and propped him against his hip as everyone surrounding let out a yelp of entertainment. The way they glanced from one person to the next, including the man Roxas didn't know, with gazes bordering on private winks made Roxas' stomach twist.

 _Did Leon tell that stranger I was..._ a voice started in his head, but Roxas dismissed it with a scowl. Leon wouldn't spread around his personal business like that, especially in a joking manner. Even so, a strange image of Ventus' story about Nero, the kid tormented in high school by Leon and Cloud, returned to the forefront of his mind.

"Stop hogging my baby boy!" snarled Yuffie, wiggling herself between Roxas and Leon so she could clamp the former around the waist.

To stop himself from oozing any more pheromones Leon's way, Roxas clasped Yuffie back and nuzzled his face into her shoulder, making her squeal in surprise and cringe against him.

Rydia soon fired over for a cuddle, too, until the three were at it again, wrestling around the sand and surf like their lives depended on it as the guys surrounding looked on with a collective chortle.

Once spent, Roxas rolled onto his stomach and let the tide draw around his hips, settling his cheek to the hot, wet sand and grinning in contentment when the girls flopped down on either side of him, propping themselves up on their elbows as Leon grabbed the beach ball that had hit Roxas in the head and pinged it back to the other guys.

"You know, none of us are going to leave until you tell us where Cloud, is," Yuffie said confidentially, making Rydia respond with a spirited nod.

Finally, Roxas was rocketed back to reality.

Shit. Of course everyone would automatically think it was Cloud and Tifa he was hanging out with. How could he break the news that it was Ventus?

"Well," Roxas winced, wondering how he could crack the truth without them going insane. His previous descriptions hadn't exactly complimented Ventus. Caving, he sighed, "I'm not hanging out with Cloud."

"Seriously?" Yuffie snorted, rolling her eyes. "Do you have a secret other brother you never told us about?"

"No," Roxas winced, scratching his neck before scowling, "it's Ventus."

Rydia and Yuffie stared at him. Then Rydia piped up, "the asshole?"

"And he has a date?" Yuffie added, wrinkling her nose in disbelief. "Who would want to date him?"

The comment sent an inexplicable shock through Roxas that made him grit his teeth. "She's a girl from his hula zumba class," he growled, trying not to sound irritated.

Rydia and Yuffie snickered. "Oh, he's in hula zumba, huh? Isn't that for women?"

"No, it's not," Roxas retorted quickly. "I do the class, too."

"You're taking a class with him?" Rydia gasped. "I thought you hated him!"

"I-" Roxas started through a groan.

They didn't know the first thing. The attempted suicide, the counseling appointments, or Ventus' confession. Was it Roxas' right to tell them?

"Yo!" called the honey eyed man Roxas didn't know from across the sand. "I think I see Cloud!"

"You do?" called Cecil's voice.

"He's with a girl with blue hair! Is that Tifa?"

"No, Bartz, Tifa has long black hair and..." Vincent paused before turning to Leon and muttering, "am I allowed to say she's got big tits?"

"This girl's got nice tits!" the honey eyed man, who Roxas know understood to be Bartz, chirped. "Great ass, too!"

"No, Bartz, you don't get it," quipped Leon in irritation. "Tifa's tits aren't just big, they're massive. And unless she cut her hair and got a boob reduction..."

"So is Cloud cheating on her?"

"Let's ask."

"Fuck!" Roxas yelped, scrambling up and bounding ahead of the slowly advancing pack of greek gods before swiveling around and croaking that they were being hasty. When Leon stared at him in a mixture of emotion: suspicion, confusion, and perhaps even betrayal, Roxas lost his voice.

Something whooshed past his shoulder. Then Bartz' voice cried, "I'll go say hi!"

Soon, everyone followed, rushing past Roxas' shoulders to where Ventus and Aqua played in the waves blissfully unaware of the approaching stampede.

 _No!_ Roxas whispered to himself, standing straight, pitching forward, and firing off as fast as his body would carry him. He passed out each of the men one by one, screaming for them to wait in vain as Bartz squawked Cloud's name.

The moment Ventus heard it, his shoulder twitched involuntarily. The name was a curse that sent shockwaves down his spine, freezing him and causing Aqua to glance into his eyes in confusion.

 _What's wrong?_ she must have said.

Her eyes drew over her shoulder the same time as Ventus'. When she first met the gaze of Bartz and his friends, she waved with glee. But when she noticed Ventus' expression, her smile wiped away.

 _Fuck_ , Roxas whimpered in his head.

Maybe Ventus' earlier superstitions had been correct.

Roxas had a bad feeling this date wasn't going to end well.

The closer Bartz got, the slower he ran, until he skidded to a confused halt and shook his head, calling that they had the wrong guy. But his companions, especially Leon, ran faster.

The moment Leon and Ventus met eyes, Ventus blushed and turned, clamping his arm around Aqua's waist and shoving her towards the dunes.

She bristled at the gesture and slithered out of his grasp, but her voice, words unintelligible from Roxas' distance, remained gentle.

"Yo, guys," Bartz said, turning around and waving his arms in front of him as he shook his head. "We were wrong. He just looks like him."

"That's cause he's his brother," Leon muttered through a glower. Resting bitch face was normal for him, but the expression he wore now went beyond the pale. It dripped with malice.

When Bartz saw it, he jerked back in surprise, asking in a small voice if Leon was sure. "Cloud never told me he had an older brother."

"That's cause this one's not worth talking about," rumbled Cecil's voice behind.

Everyone swiveled around.

Rydia and Yuffie clung to each other and peeped over Cecil's shoulder. Vincent was not far behind. To say both men looked reserved would be an understatement. The muscles of their backs tensed as their arms flexed. Their hands tightened to fists. Every so often their eyes locked, widened, and dulled in silent communication.

When they glanced towards Roxas, Cecil softened and murmured in a pitying voice, "you had to spend your Labor Day with him, Rox?"

"No wonder the poor kid was off on his own," Vincent muttered under his breath.

Leon said nothing, arms folded in front of him as he stared Ventus down like his life depended on it. As Ventus tried pushing Aqua towards the dunes again, the brunet's face contorted in disgust. "Gods, look at the way he's manhandling that poor woman..."

"Seriously, who the hell is this guy?" Bartz demanded with arms outstretched. "Fuckin' Exdeath? Looks like you're staring into the face of chaos..."

Roxas couldn't take it anymore. Putting on a plastic, manic beam, he chirped that he would introduce everyone. Then, disappearing from Leon's watchful side, he stalked towards Ventus and Aqua with a grim gaze of determination.

 _Please let this be the right thing to do_ , his thoughts echoed, bolstering him until he skipped to Ventus' side and hopped on his shoulders.

Ventus didn't take that well.

"What the fuck, Roxas?" he bellowed, elbowing Roxas off and protecting himself with crossed arms. The Ventus of ten minutes ago: warm, glistening, and soft, with cheeks split in a shimmering grin, was gone. What replaced him was a dark, brooding shell of a man.

The transformation turned Aqua pale as a ghost, though curiously, she did not look surprised. A shadow of her previous glance, when she had spied Ventus' bare forearms, returned. She receded in watchful silence, camouflaging into the water like a little violet fish with blue fins, gaze steady and sharp as a knife.

"Did you invite them here?" Ventus whispered in Roxas' ear, recapturing the boy's attention.

"No," Roxas whined. "They were here already. They mistook you for Cloud and I couldn't stop them fast enough."

"Fuck," Ventus hissed as the pack of men loomed closer. " _Fuck,_ I fuckin' knew I should've stayed on the dunes. I fuckin' _felt_ it..."

"I'll do the talking," Roxas suggested. "Just please don't run away. You concentrate on Aqua, I'll concentrate on making them leave."

Ventus could only give a stilted nod, shivering as terror overtook him.

Leon grimaced. Cecil and Vincent blinked in befuddlement, gazing towards each other with narrowed eyes as if to confirm what they saw was real. Yuffie and Rydia pursed their lips and cocked their heads, deciphering Ventus and Roxas' interaction to no avail. Bartz whipped from one person to another, relieved when another young man his own age, this time with hazel eyes and silver hair in a similar style, trudged over as oblivious as he was to the current situation.

The more and more naked male legs sloshed forward, the tighter Ventus' breath became in his throat and the deeper his expression soured.

When the silent standoff became a ticking bomb, Roxas mustered some courage and took his cue, beaming and throwing his arms around Ventus' frozen waist. "What's with the long faces?" he sang, clamping around the man harder when he tried weaseling out of Roxas' grasp. "Say, have any of you met my brother Ven?"

"I haven't!" Bartz barked to everyone else's chagrin. He stepped forward and stuck out his hand unabashed.

Ventus reeled from the appendage in terror disguised as revulsion: mumbling incoherent excuses, leaning from foot to foot, attempting to pry Roxas off, and wincing at the sun in valiant effort to interact with anything but the humans before him. The longer everyone waited, the smaller Ventus got, curling into Roxas like a snail into its shell.

Bartz' smile twitched down. Everyone else held back groans or sighs.

"Bartz, Ven," Roxas cut through the excruciating quiet with vigor, grabbing Ventus' fist and clapping it into Bartz' with gusto.

The sensation of skin on skin was a shock to Ventus, who winced and hid his face against Roxas' cheek on the pretense of mumbling into the boy's ear. Even so, his Highwind blush betrayed him.

Bartz cocked his head in curiosity. "Nice to meet you, dude. I never expected Cloud to have another sibling!"

"That's Cloud for you," Ventus snorted through a weird, forced cackle. "Wouldn't dare waste a fuckin' breath on his own brother."

No one laughed but Roxas, who ruffled Ventus' hair with a savage, desperate swipe and squeaked, "taking eco-friendly to a whole new level!" His ensuing giggles were more manic than joyous, just loud and grating enough to mask everyone else's winces of disapproval.

Bartz let out an encouraging guffaw. When his eyes shot to Aqua, though, his end goal illuminated itself. "And who might this be?" he asked in a husky purr, widening his eyes as if he had just noticed Aqua there.

"Aqua," Aqua answered, holding out her hand for him to shake. When Bartz kissed it instead, she pursed her lips and donned a curt grin.

"Enchanté," Bartz worded with a wink.

"Bartz," Cecil warned, making Bartz draw back his hands and clasp them innocently before him.

"What a pleasure to meet you all!" Aqua retorted, leaning against Ventus and Roxas' shoulders. "The whole crew in one day! I'm a lucky girl."

"We're not his crew," Leon qualified, dropping the air pressure surrounding to uncomfortable levels.

Ventus gazed up without helping it. When he met Leon's proud, disdainful glance, he swallowed his courage and coughed something unintelligible. When he tried turning, Roxas clamped down harder.

"Aqua, these are friends of my other brother, Cloud," Roxas told Aqua from over Ventus' frozen shoulder. "Leon, Cecil, Vincent, Yuffie, and Rydia... and..." he faltered, freezing on Bartz and his silver haired companion in confusion.

"Firion," the silver haired boy introduced himself, cocking his head towards Bartz. "Bartz. We met Cloud in college."

"Dissidia!" Bartz cheered as he pumped his fist through the air.

Aqua's eyes sparkled as she squeezed Ventus' arm. "My sister just graduated from DU!"

Ventus tried cracking an encouraging grin and small 'congratulations,' but Cecil's interjection of, "really?" stilled his tongue.

"I just graduated as well. Masters," the silveret beamed. "What's her name? I might know her."

"Claire," Aqua responded.

"Was she in the engineering program?" Cecil made sure. When Aqua nodded, he furrowed his brows and bit his lip, asking over his shoulder if Firion or Bartz knew a grad named Claire.

The younger men grimaced as they put their heads together, both drawing a blank until Firion quipped, "wait, what's your last name?" When Aqua responded 'Farron,' Firion nearly shit himself with glee. Amongst curious glances from the rest of his friends, including Leon, who was having no luck keeping Ventus and his younger companions in sight at the same time, Firion asked if Aqua's sister ever went by 'Lightning.'

"Oh, Lightning!" Cecil cried, clapping his hand to his head and chiding himself for not figuring it out sooner. "She was valedictorian of our class. Damn hard worker, everyone respected her. She was on a sabbatical from the military, right?"

"Yep," Aqua nodded. "Guardian Corps Sergeant First Class. Just entered officer training before grad. She's one smart, hardcore lady."

"My dad was in the army for a little while," Ventus blurted out, making Roxas want to stab him in the stomach for being so awkward. "It wasn't to be hardcore, though, he just needed money for college."

"I didn't know that," Roxas swallowed, trying to sound encouraging.

Emboldened, Ventus straightened and donned a desperate, forced grin. "Well, that's me! I know a lot of weird facts no one knows."

"Or wants to know," Cecil mumbled in Leon's ear on the pretext of taking a piece of stray seaweed off the man's shoulder.

If Ventus heard it, he ignored it with a spirited cough, announcing after clearing his throat, "So did all of you meet at Diridia?" in a voice that was so uncharacteristically polite it made Roxas want to cry.

Cloud's friends stared at him in pity. Bartz and Firion even broke into laughter.

"Dissidia, Ven," Aqua corrected. "It's an Ivy League school."

"Are you enrolled anywhere?" Firion asked her.

Aqua snorted and shook her head, murmuring that she graduated from Departure U the summer before last.

"Hold up, Departure _Law_?" Bartz balked.

Blushing, Aqua shrugged, adding with a badly concealed smirk that she made valedictorian.

"Whoa! Looks like Light's not the only smart lady in the family!"

"Why don't we know each other already? You should come to our beach party tonight! We've got a yacht rented to celebrate me, Cec, and Fifi's graduation!"

"You asshole! If you start calling me Fifi, I'm calling you Butz!"

"Seriously, though, you should come! You, too, Rox!"

"Then you can sleep over!" cried Rydia in excitement. "It's been ages, Rox! You should really see the house, too, we've been renovating it for the afterparty!"

"Holy FUCK I'm RIGHT HERE!"

Everyone froze and turned.

Ventus stared forward in horror, shocked at the words that had come out of his own mouth. Stuttering, he tried playing it off that Roxas had stepped on his foot by accident, but Leon would not have it.

"So how did you stumble upon _Ventus Highwind_?" he asked Aqua in a veiled sneer.

"Hula Zumba," Aqua answered before Ventus. "We're dance partners."

"I'm in the class too," Roxas added, staring Leon down with determination. "We all get along really well."

"That's good to know, Rox," Leon said with a warm nod. "Nice to see Ven's finally changing for the better."

"And it's nice to know you're still the same insufferable cunt as always."

Roxas closed his eyes in defeat, biting back the lump rising up his throat as Leon's eyes bugged out of his head.

"Oh?" the brunet said grandly. "Was that meant as a compliment?"

"Insult me again and find out," Ventus snarled, puffing up his chest and advancing on Leon with hackles raised. Before he could get two feet forward, Aqua's palm was against his chest and her steel blue eyes were staring into his skies.

"Ventus," she said in a clear, low ring. "Are you dating me or Leon? Prioratize and let go accordingly."

Ventus blinked from her to Leon in desperation. Then, lowering his shoulders he nodded, muttered apologies, and settled his hand over hers.

Just as they turned back to the water, though, Bartz blurted out, "oh, dude, what happened to your arms?"

That was it. Thousands of fears and recriminations cascaded across Ventus' deep blue eyes. Oblivious to Aqua's stilted pleas, he turned, stalked towards the dunes, picked up his shorts, shirt, and shoes in one hand as he circled the garland around his neck with the other, and turned for the boardwalk without a glance goodbye.

For a moment everyone watched him go in stupor. Then Bartz asked what the hell his problem was. Instead of responding, Leon turned to Aqua and apologized.

"I don't know how you managed to get mixed up with him, but he's not the type of guy-"

"Leon, shut the fuck up!"

Everyone snapped to silence again, gazing around to see if Ventus had returned for more. Imagine their surprise when they realized the command had come from Roxas.

The blond blushed in embarrassment, clapping his hand over his mouth and mumbling that he would bring Ventus back. "Just, just give me a minute, okay? And Aqua?" he added, glancing up at her with a pleading wince. "Please don't go. I'll have him back in no time. We were having such a great time."

Befuddlement bathed Aqua's face as she blinked, shook her head, and mumbled, "o-okay."

Gusting out in relief, Roxas gulped that he'd be back in five minutes. Then, he ran as fast as his feet could carry him, flying over the dunes, up the grass, across the road, between parked cars and bikes, past the playground, and through the restaurant's front door.

By now the floor was packed, filled with families in beach gear, khakis, and sundresses: sun hats perched on the back of their necks and sunglasses on the top of their heads as they traded burgers, fries, sandwiches, chowders, and other goodies amongst each other. Roxas stalked by without glancing at a single person, eyes trained solely on the restaurant's bathroom hall. When he burst through the Men's door, he roared Ventus' name again, hunkering down to look for shadows under the stalls where feet should have been. When a large one unfolded below the toilet basin of the last door, Roxas gritted his teeth, stalked in front of it, and hoisted his chin over the top. "VENTUS!" he started in a snarl. His voice petered to nothing as confusion rendered it useless.

Big chocolate eyes conquered by a mop of bleached hair stared up at him from the toilet seat. Their owner was so small he could have been flushed away if he slipped.

A child. That's why Roxas didn't see his feet below the door. So Ventus wasn't in the bathroom at all.

"Fuck," Roxas scowled, dropping to the floor and swerving past the sinks.

"Mannews, pwease," said a small voice from inside the occupied stall.

Roxas ignored him and burst back through the restaurant fray, digging his fingers through his hair when he reached the carpark. He peeped around in vain, imagining where Ventus possibly could have gone. The ice cream stand? The lifeguard tower? Was he that dense?

Just as his greatest fear clawed his throat, he scanned the cars parked along the beach's back. Cid's should have been right at the entrance to the boardwalk. When he spied the familiar bleached white wooden rails and noticed a sleek, orange sports car in its place, all expression left him.

Ventus must have reparked.

Picking up to a jog, he crossed the road and ran along the pavement, passing the big boardwalk and charging for the smaller one a mile down. As he went, he peered in each car, glowering in the hopes that his sheer determination would turn one of them into Cid's truck. But it wasn't to be.

Ventus hadn't hid in the restaurant, he hadn't fled for the lifeguard tower, and he hadn't reparked.

He had left.

Slumping his shoulders, Roxas crumpled before the smaller boardwalk entrance to regain his breath. Instead, he set his head in his hands and sobbed. After what felt like ions, a familiar voice cried out his name. Cursing, he wiped the tears away with vicious strokes, shooting the dangling snot from each nostril onto the grass and sucking the rest up his nose. When he had the strength to glance up, he thought he might break down again.

Leon was tearing towards him, still in nothing but his shorts and high tops. Looked like converses weren't just Cid's idea of a fashion statement.

"Hey, man," the brunet gusted, leaning by Roxas' side and reaching his hand out to take hold of the boy's shoulder.

Instead of taking Leon's palm, Roxas slapped it away, scrambled up, and shoved Leon backwards as hard as he could.

As the brunet stumbled, he gaped in befuddlement. "Roxas?" he asked, swerving when Roxas went to shove him again. "Roxas, stop!" he cried.

Instead, Roxas punched him in the stomach and shoved him again, squealing in anger when Leon grabbed him around the waist and clamped his arms to his sides. For several minutes, he kicked and kneed at Leon's legs, trying with no avail to scramble out of his grip. The man was simply too strong. Eventually, Roxas could do nothing more than collapse against his bare chest, gasp in a shuddering breath, and sob: big, traitorous tears rolling down his cheeks and onto Leon's sternum.

"Roxas," Leon warbled, sniffing and rubbing Roxas' arms. "Come on, let's sit down. Please."

"I don't owe you anything," Roxas sniffled, choking and crying harder. He let Leon lower him to sitting, curling in on himself and drooling from his open mouth as he shut his eyes so tight they burned. Leon's hand on his back felt good.

"Please stop crying, Rox," Leon begged. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea you'd get so upset."

"B-be-ca-cause you do-don't think!" Roxas squeaked through another choke, slurping back the drool and wiping his hand haphazardly across his crimson cheeks. His face felt like a heat lamp. "Y-you ha-haven't gotten in t-t-touch i-in m-months and expect e-everything-ing to be the, the same! And th-then you, you act r-r-really fucking rude to m-my b-bro-th-ther-"

"I'm sorry, Roxas, I really am," Leon groaned, circling his arm around Roxas' back to hug him from the side.

Roxas collapsed his cheek into the man's chest again, sobbing harder and squishing his eyes closed again as Leon continued, "I have been texting you, I swear to gods. Cloud has too. You never answer, so maybe there's something wrong with your phone. I just... I don't know, I thought it had something to do with Ventus. Cloud told me about the attempted suicide and I just felt like... I don't know, he was emotionally trapping you or something."

"Y-you kn-new what h-hap-pened and you still t-treated him l-like dirt?" Roxas demanded. "H-he's b-been through so much sh-shi-SHIT!" he squawked at the end, descending into uncontrollable, wailing sobs that made him so dizzy he pitched forward and shook like a leaf.

Leon yelped and scooped him in his arms, rocking him back and forth before forcing Roxas to look him in the eye. When Roxas finally did, Leon asked him to breath with him.

Finally, Roxas regained some semblance of control, the only evidence of his previous outburst his stilted, sniffling breath and bursting Highwind blush.

"Here, blow your nose on the grass," Leon said. "One nostril then the other."

Roxas nodded and did so, then Leon wiped the snot from Roxas' cheeks onto the grass as well.

The man's eyes were red, too. Somehow, it was a comfort. "I'm not proud of the way I acted back there, Rox. I apologized to Aqua the minute you left. I don't know what happened. It was just years of personal shit bubbling up and I couldn't control it."

"What has Ven ever done to you?" Roxas demanded.

Leon ran his hand through his chocolate locks again, shaking his head and gaping in oblivion. "It's not what he did to me, personally," he sighed. "It's just the way he treated your family. Especially you. I was sad to leave you this summer. You're like a little bro to me and it fucking kills me to see people take advantage of you. And I swear I didn't mean to leave you in the dark. I can't believe that fucking phone of yours is jacked already. I'm gonna have a look at it before the day is out."

"You... you can't," Roxas swallowed with a wince. "I kind of... lost it."

"Any chance Ventus had anything to do with that?"

When Roxas choked through a returning sob, Leon dropped the subject and swept him up again, rocking him for what felt like hours.

"Why don't you come out with us this evening, Rox?" Leon cooed. I'll go by the ATM and draw out some money for a new phone. Then you and Aqua can come by the yacht Cecil rented and I'll call the shop and see if Cid and Ven want to come, too."

Roxas was too exhausted to respond. Instead, he practically climbed into Leon's lap and hugged him as tightly as he could, listening to the man's deep, quiet heartbeat through his sunkissed skin as he closed his eyes.

•∞•

Aqua drove Roxas back to the shop. Rydia and Yuffie had begged him to come to their yacht party and sleep over, but he laid down a definitive, gentle 'no'. When Cecil asked Aqua if she wanted to stop by, she said she had a lot of work to catch up on for Tuesday. Then, she and Roxas heaped into her Prius and departed, the entire ride silent until Twilight Town's familiar forests and chimneys rose in the distance.

"I hear there's a great bistro in the Town Square," Aqua murmured, expressionless as she stared over the thinning road.

In the passenger seat, Roxas shrugged, mumbling that he wasn't familiar with it. Silence returned. Then: "so you're a lawyer?"

Aqua blinked, thrown off, then nodded. "Junior Associate at Scala ad Caelum."

"Is that a firm in Twilight Town?" Roxas asked.

"Daybreak," Aqua responded.

"Huh," Roxas whispered to himself. Daybreak Town, with its gondola lifts, underwater monuments, and vast swaths of classical bleached architecture, was always somewhere he dreamed of going as a child. He could see someone like Aqua fitting in just fine. "I hear there's a lot of underwater spelunking there."

"Which exit is yours?" Aqua cut in. After Roxas pointed it out, she nodded and turned. Then, after a silence in which Roxas thought they would never speak again, she added, "there is."

"What?"

"Spelunking. It's one of Daybreak's top attractions."

"I saw a travel brochure for it as a kid."

"It's worth the trip."

"Why didn't you stay?"

Aqua's eyes flashed as her gaze shifted across the road again. They were getting into the residential, stop sign only section of town. Soon, the signage would drop off altogether. This district was so quiet that warnings were unnecessary. Already, the streets were empty. Perhaps everyone was spending their Labor Day somewhere else. As Roxas watched the familiar go by, he set his cheek against the glass, mumbling that Aqua should have spent today with her family.

"Oh, no," she snorted.

"Do you not get along?" Roxas piqued, making Aqua object in a bluster.

"No, no, I didn't mean that," she whispered. "Just, one sister's in the military, the other is married with a kid on the way."

"What about your parents?" asked Roxas.

"They're dead," Aqua responded.

Roxas blinked in shock. When he apologized, Aqua waved him off, sending him an olive branch in the form of a little smirk.

"It was years ago, Roxas," she murmured. "It's not like it hurts too much to talk about."

"Hurts that much for Ventus," Roxas mumbled into the window glass.

The car slowed down as they reached the shop. It lay fifty meters ahead, neon sign glowing up at itself from the wet cobblestone ground now black in the night.

"Did your parents die recently?" Aqua inquired, "if you don't mind me asking?"

"Ten years ago," Roxas responded. "Car accident."

"I'm sorry," Aqua murmured. "My mom's was a childhood illness. My sister Serah has the same thing. Dad's was suicide."

"Oh my gods," Roxas gasped. "Aqua, I-I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Roxas," Aqua whispered. "My parents had a complicated relationship. They were childhood friends and married around the time my mom's sickness started showing. My dad had a lot of problems as a kid and my mom looked after him, so I think he wanted to repay the favor without really understanding why they had gravitated to each other in the first place. He sort of hid behind her. And when she died and he was explosed, he couldn't handle it."

Roxas had started crying again. He hid it by huddling himself against the passenger window, but he knew that Aqua could sense his distress.

"Ventus reminds me so much of him," she continued with glistening eyes and a tired smile. "He was such an amazing person with so many fascinating quirks. He loved anything to do with movement: dancing, swimming, wrestling, soccer, you name it, he'd done it. Athleticism was like an antidepressant for him. But he was so competitive! He demanded so much out of all of us and he was so proud of us, but he loved us more than anything and he let us express ourselves however we wanted. But there was this strange hatred in him that came out when my sister Light, well, came out," she coughed. "At the time, I thought he was just as ignorant as the people who had brought him up and I was so dissapointed in him, but it wasn't until years later that I realized he was just terrified for her. He didn't want her to have the same life as him. Instead of telling us how he really felt, he gave up. And it destroyed me for years."

Roxas could not wipe his eyes fast enough. His measured breaths became huffs. His inhales became sniffles.

"I tried to get over it by working really hard and achieving and for a while that worked. But when I settled in at the job in Daybreak and felt like I'd reached a peak and could relax, I just sunk so deep that for the first time in my life I realized none of what I had accomplished was for me. I spent over ten years chasing someone else's dream. So I took a demotion and went somewhere I'd never heard of in my life."

"Tw-wilight Town?" Roxas croaked.

Aqua chuckled as she nodded. "Yep. And when I say it's been a pleasure getting to know you guys, I mean it. I loved going on that beach date with you guys and I hope we can do something similar again. I mean that with all my heart."

Instead of answering, Roxas cast his head down, unbuckled, and opened the passenger door. When he grabbed Ven's forgotten beach bag and wrenched it over his shoulder, Aqua called him back and held out two black, tubular pieces of cloth.

The compression pads.

He winced as he took them, wanting to hug her the moment her fingers brushed against his. But he couldn't.

"Tell your brother I hope he's feeling better," Aqua said with a meaningful nod. "And Happy Labor Day."

With that, she shut the passenger door, revved up the engine, turned, and drove away, leaving Roxas alone in the darkness.

For a moment he stood and stared up at the stars, the moon the only thing reflecting his skin, now ghostly blue instead of gold. When he turned towards the shop's neon sign he noticed Cid's silhouette banging around the kitchen window above, flickering this way and that, talking to someone. Were he and Ventus arguing? Grimly, Roxas stalked forward, listening over his shoulder for any rustling. When the wind played at the nape of his neck, his hands closed into fists and he swiveled around, eyes wide and focused, staring into the face of nothingness with muscles tensed and ready.

"Here I am!" he whispered through tears. "Fight me! I'm fucking ready!"

No matter how long he stood, no one answered. He remained alone.

•∞•

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I just noticed Leon's really hot in this fic (lol!) I kind of wish I could put he and Rox together but... realistically, it would never work! (But it is a cute thought) And poor Ven... what's lurking in his past that he still hasn't revealed? Tell me what you think of everyone in the comments!**

 **Please FOLLOW, FAV, and REVIEW!**


	24. Loose Ends

**A/N:** Hello, readers! How is everyone?

Several months (?) ago, I posted an intense ramble about the emotional risks of writing fan fiction that spoiled the ending of this would-be story. I regret vomiting the denouement to you all before it even had a chance to flower, but... I did what I did.

I was actually shocked at the positive feedback my heart-to-heart received. I expected to be lambasted or jeered, but you were all very kind and informative and I appreciate that.

Whoever Guest is who wrote the long review describing the Point of View of the reviewer, I understand what you're saying, because I was once a reader, too (and still am). However, I do believe that the writer is in a much more precarious and delicate position than the reviewer, because they are opening their heart to the reviewer for judgment and thus should be judged with grace.

I got my BFA in Acting, and it was a shark tank of judgment. I know that people who stab the hardest have the most to protect. It's easy to put things down to "they just don't have the right words to express themselves," but I've grown wise enough to tell the difference between someone offering constructive criticism versus someone trying to dig at an innocent stranger who can't fight back. And maybe it doesn't seem like it, but I really do make a point of taking _actual_ constructive criticism to heart, and have changed my writing style to support the logistics of style some users have opened me up to.

That said, I'm posting a chapter I started months ago (before I even resolved to quit fan fiction) but never finished.

I also meant what I said about being in a tough life situation at the time of my last posting. Most fan fiction writers have the luxury of being employed and/ or being school age and living with their parents. Unfortunately, I just aged out of that and the Southern US job market is a bitch!

It's sad, because I love fan fiction and yaoi with all my heart. Right now I'm working on an Omegaverse story about Vanitas attempting to hide his gender (if any of you were fans of _Compliant Savages,_ you'll really like this one!) but I'd like to put it on a website for 50c per chapter and have a chance to add illustrations (because I also draw!) If anyone is interested, I can also make illustrations for some of my other fan fics and send them with the actual chapters as really nice PDF digital book files.

If you think that's a good idea, send me a thumbs up and I can send you info through PM. I'm also making an ao3 account and will post the first and next few chapters from my Omegaverse story there.

Thanks again for all your kindness and support. Maybe when I get a bit of savings together and can relax, I'll come back to my favorite hobby full force. I really do miss it...

* * *

•∞•

 ** _Twenty Four: Loose Ends_**

•∞•

Tuesday came with the knowledge that the Twilight Town Lions would be playing their first game of the season that Saturday. The news terrified Roxas, who was still groping through the nightmare that had been Ventus' Labor Day beach date by Thursday. If luck was on his side, he'd be benched the entire game. He really didn't need to be on the field.

In truth he was wearing thin.

Every happy thought was shadowed by constant worry over Ventus. What was he doing right now, what was he thinking, and how did he feel? Was he in danger in any way? What could Roxas do to make him okay?

Could he make him okay?

Aqua's date replayed in his head at the strangest moments. Pushing open a bathroom stall door had him reliving Ventus pushing Aqua towards the dunes, lowering his head to his studies had him replaying Ventus lowering his head to the surf, sighing over a difficult question in french sat him right back on the boardwalk, groaning and sobbing over how out of control his life was. Every memory rolled in slow motion under a glassy filter, like beads in a salt water kaleidoscope. Only the cacophony of the varsity football team in third period, when the PreCal teacher was running later than usual, jolted him out of his nighmarish reverie.

"Okay, okay, poll time!" Demyx sang, snapping his fingers to an imaginary beat. "Fifteen minutes says we all bounce. All in favor of bouncing say 'faggot'!"

Roxas stifled a growl and lowered his forehead to the PreCal homework he was trying to finish before the teacher arrived. He didn't know what was worse: reliving bad memories or making new ones at Twilight High.

"The bounce rule is fake, guys," Xion scoffed, dodging a wad of paper shot by Gula, a fellow sophemore, from a few tables down.

"The bounce rule is totally real," Lea retorted from Xion's side. "Educator responsibility is a beautiful thing!"

"That only exists in college," Xion retorted. "In high school, the teacher gets disciplined and the students get unexcused absences."

Lea leaned back and addressed the congregation, aka their makeshift lecture hall with an aisle down the middle flanked by rows of four seater, wheeled tables, crying out, "gather round, plebes, Xion's giving another impromptu lecture about Departure City's education system!"

As if a subliminal call to action had been sounded, the entirety of the football teams present swiveled around in their wheely chairs and whooped. Roxas peeped over his shoulder from the front of class to watch, spying dully as Demyx and Merida flew around like discuses, laughing and taunting Xion as her blush deepened.

"I'm not trying to lecture anyone!" she balked. "I'm just trying to stop you guys from making fools of yourselves!"

"Joke's on you, Shi Shi," Demyx sang, cackling as he rammed into the back of Roxas' chair by accident before shooting off to Xion's side. "It's like Riku's always saying, _if Departure's so much better, why didn't you fucking stay?_ "

Roxas' ears piqued. Xion was originally from Depature City? Terra was from there as well as Aqua's law school. How many people did Roxas know with a connection to that place? Why were they all here, all of a sudden? Without thinking, he swiveled around.

He was greeted by a profile view of Xion, crimson faced and teary eyed, shooting up and slamming her fists against her study table in anger.

"You know what?" she croaked. "Fuck you all! I wish I had stayed, that way I wouldn't have to deal with all of your inbred, ignoramus bullshit!" With that, she kicked her chair aside, gathered her things, and made for the door, failing to notice Roxas staring her down in shock as she passed or Lea jumping out of his seat.

"Xion!" the redhead cried, tripping as he tried making it into the center aisle. "Wait up, we were only-" but it was too late. She was long gone.

"-Joking," he finished in a mutter, slumping in the middle of the classroom in defeat.

For a moment the entire hall was quiet as the varsity teams peeped from one person to the next. Then, Demyx snorted.

"How many points should we give Princess Departure for all those five dollar words?" he winked in self satisfaction.

Whipping around, Lea shot Demyx with a look of rancor, making the blond choke and shrink in his seat.

"What?" Demyx balked through a frightened blush. "What's with the face? What did I do?"

"You acted like a fucking idiot, that's what," Lea snapped. "You know she's sensitive about that shit."

"Ugh, girls are sensitive, what's new?" Demyx drawled, a puppy dog twinkle glimmering in his eyes as he feigned nonchalance. When the girls booed and shot paper wads at him, he squealed in glee.

Lea, on the other hand, would not let it go. "No one is sensitive, Dem, you're just a fucking idiot!" he spat, silencing the room again. "You brought up a private conversation between a bunch of guys to one of their girlfriends! Who fucking does that?"

When Demyx responded with silence, Lea rolled his eyes and collected his stuff as well, slinging the pile into his backpack and hiking that over one lanky shoulder. "Now I have to go see if she's fucking alright! Gods, you're such a dumbass!"

Roxas stared in suppressed interest as Axel turned, stomped through the door, and slammed it behind him and dissappearing down the hall. Then, growing very interested in his PreCal homework, Roxas piqued one ear towards the conversations erupting behind him. As soon as he was sure everyone was turned away, he glanced towards Lea and Xion's empty seats in curiosity.

Funny. He hadn't noticed Lea and Xion sharing the same table till today. Sure, it was common for football kids to huddle up wherever they went, but seeing these two side by side without their significant others was otherworldly. The chairs, though empty, were still close for being table partners. Did the two consider each other... friends?

"Who else thinks Lea's gone to set fire to my jersey?" Demyx piped up, insighting laughter and spirited debate. There must have been an inside joke hidden somewhere in there, judging by the way the kids' eyes sparkled as they giggled, like mentioning their part in an unsolved crime.

"You'd swear they were going out the way they cover for each other," Merida suggested, making everyone gasp and whisper.

"No way, Larx would butcher Lea if he ever cheated on her."

"Kind of a double standard there, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Because she's always rubbing up on Isa!"

"OMG, you did not just say that!"

"But it's true!"

Roxas doodled on his homework so feverishly that the tip of his pencil broke. Scowling, he wiped it away just as a shadow fell over his pages. The next thing he knew, he was being tackled by an unseen force.

"How do you feel about all that, Roxy?" Demyx sang above, rocking Roxas back and forth against his will.

"Get off!" Roxas groaned amidst the cheers and hollers of the remaining class.

"Come on, aren't fags relationship experts? Tell us what you think of the action! It won't make us like you any less!"

"What action?" Roxas barked, trying not to look guilty of listening in. "I was trying to do my homework, not listening to your stupid gossip!"

"Oooh," the varsity teams chanted together, bursting into spirited laughter soon after.

"Watcha drawing?" Demyx continued, resting his chin on top of Roxas' head, throwing his arms around his shoulders, and leaning into his back.

Like when any attractive male touched him, Roxas sunk in embarrassment and babbled incoherently, objecting through a whimper when Demyx swept up his PreCal homework and stared it down. Funnily enough, it was the first time Roxas had a chance to see what he had actually drawn.

It was Twilight beach. The pier. Three people sat on it, two boys and a girl. One of the boys was much taller than the other. Was it he, Ventus, and Aqua?

"Dude, is this you, Lea, and Xion?" Demyx balked.

"N-no!" Roxas cried, swiping the paper out of Demyx' hands. "It's me, my brother, and... his girlfriend," he swallowed. Gods, how he wished it were that simple.

"Ventus has a girlfriend?" a junior named Yuna from girl's varsity cried two rows down. "That is so not fair!"

"What's this one?" Demyx asked as conversation filtered up behind them. When he remained rested against Roxas' back, it made Roxas recall what Sora had said about Demyx having 'at least one foot in the door.'

It made Roxas bite his lip. When he saw his other doodle, any thoughts left his mind.

It was a sad dog surrounded by cameras, a more tame, better drawn version of Ventus' journal doodle Roxas had caught long ago, when he had been sitting on the couch and had been cut by the sharp glint of metal that fell out from between the pages. Why had his mind wandered to that, he wondered?

"You're good at drawing," Demyx conceded.

Without thought, Roxas swiveled around and met his eye, drawing the two of them closer. It was a surprise to Demyx, who blinked back a blush as he stared down into Roxas' focused cerulean blues.

"Thanks," Roxas nodded.

Within seconds, the two were apart, Demyx sitting at Roxas' side with a bright smile. "Weird fucking picture, but it reminds me..." he started, inching close enough for one of his knees to touch Roxas', though that wasn't a major feat considering the length of Demyx' legs. "you are coming to the party on saturday night, right?"

"Party?" Roxas breathed.

Demyx nodded. "Sora sent out a mass text. You should have gotten it days ago."

"My phone..." Roxas started, conceding, "my phone broke a couple weeks ago."

"Shit, dude, why didn't you say so?" Demyx cried. "No wonder everyone's been complaining about how much of a prissy bitch you are, you never respond to anyone's messages!"

"I-I'll get a new phone, I swear," Roxas breathed. "I just... my family doesn't have that much money and..."

"Dude, don't worry about it," Demyx cut over him, swiping his hand to the side to indicate a clean slate. "Just remember this: first away game on saturday morning at eleven. Bus is leaving at 7 am. We get home tops by six. Party at 8 at my place. You need the address?"

"Uh, y-yeah, I guess," Roxas blushed, squeaking in surprise when Demyx grabbed him by the arm and scribbled his address across the soft of his wrist in sharpie.

"Just whatever you do, don't be late, and you _have_ to come. It's a fucking tradition that cannot be broken, man. On pain of DEATH."

"What kind of party will it be?" Roxas asked in discomfort.

Demyx' eyes sparkled with glee. "Oh, you don't need to know the specifics! Just bring a date and an open mind. Make sure to unplug the stick from your ass, too. You know, loosen up a bit. Try to have fun."

"Yeah," Roxas muttered, attempting not to roll his eyes. He had an idea of what the party was going to be like already.

"But seriously- bring a date," Demyx warned. "Boy or girl, doesn't matter. You get penalized if you don't."

"Penalized?" Roxas started, but before he could ask a question fully, the teacher burst into the room amidst a round of apologies and started taking attendance. Xion and Lea had still not returned, and Roxas didn't see them coming back any time soon. Before he could wonder where they went, the teacher started collecting homework.

"Hah!" She smiled as she passed Roxas. "We've got an artist in our midst!"

Roxas blushed and handed in his papers upside down, without aplomb.

When the teacher went back to the board, Roxas stared at the empty table top in wonder. He had to find a date to a high school party by _Satur_ _day_? That didn't exactly leave him much time. Who on earth would he ask? Who on earth would even want to go?

"Well, I'll be," the PreCal teacher sighed in feigned surprise. "None of you did your homework properly. I feel like I'm trying to read pig latin up here."

"That's what we feel like when we try to do the homework, ma'am!" Demyx called, making the class laugh again. He was still sitting at Roxas' side. Did he want to copy his notes, or something?

Roxas tried his best to cancel Demyx' droning out. He had to think.

Who would go to the party with him? Hayner or Pence? No, he didn't want to drag them into suspected fagdom, too. Moana, perhaps, the girl from hula zumba? No, too far away. Olette? Hayner would never forgive him.

Namine?

Roxas tapped his chin in thought.

There was no harm in trying. Maybe he could ask her in art class or at lunch. After all, the worst she could say was no.

 **•∞•**

Saturday morning came fast. Somehow Roxas managed to ask Namine to the football party on Friday morning, and by the grace of the gods she said yes. Her parents were going to take them there, but it would be Cid or Ventus' job to take them home. It was a little embarrassing that Roxas couldn't even pick up his date, but it was just the way the car situation had worked out. For some reason Ventus needed the truck "really bad" that night.

Half of Roxas suspected Ventus was going on a date with someone, but the other half wondered who he could go on a date with. He hadn't heard a peep from Aqua in a week, and Ventus hadn't tried reaching out to her as far as Roxas knew. Whenever Roxas tried mentioning her, the subject would quickly change to something more inocuous. If that was impossible, Ventus found something more important to do in another room.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading, everyone. If it helps, most of my unfinished stories are jumping off points for even better stories, so if you liked this, you'll like the stuff I do in the future. Who knows, I may come back to this someday, but it won't be until you're all old and grey. Find me on ao3.**


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